BS: How bad is your economy?

Subject: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 05:15 AM

The economy is so bad...
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They are going to rename Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
There are members of the GOP thinking legalizing pot might help the economy.
I got so depressed last night thinking about politics, the economy, wars, my job, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. that I called the Suicide Hot-line. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I felt suicidal they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 05:24 AM

John, That was GREAT!!! (applause applause)

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 11:15 AM

Our politicians keep telling us that the Country owes Billions (National deficit).
Every other National leader and government says their country owes Billions.
Who is it they ALL owe it to?
Either they all owe it to each other - England owes USA, USA owes France, France owes Germany, Germany owes England... Why can't we just cancel it all out?
OR
Everyone owes Bill Gates (or similar) - why can't we all just tell him where to stick his bill?
It's none of it REAL money - it's invented by bankers and politicians. Why can't we just string them ALL up and go back to bartering?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 11:28 AM

got these on the web

The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.

It's so bad, hippie friends had to start eating regular brownies.

The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.

The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 11:30 AM

The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 01:09 PM

Waiting for rhymed versions and/or songs. Hurry up, economy is rumored to get up again, in public perception if not in reality.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:17 PM

It's so bad here that people who don't pay their bills have stopped buying.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:25 PM

Kendall
excellent !!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:40 PM

Bill an' Hillary in the same bed???

Say it ain't so...

(It ain't so, Boberdz... One room, two beds...)

Whew...

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:43 PM

It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.

The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:45 PM

The economy is so bad that Roy's tigers are now eating him out of necessity.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

I hear it is so bad that Spaw is now charging people when he calls them a fuckweed

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 07:47 PM

These depressions always come on the heels of hard times.

If I could buy a bus ticket with food stamps I'd move to NC.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 09:07 PM

Was that Warren Buffett I saw riding a bicycle?

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 07:32 PM

My neighbor said that having the wolf at his door was bad enough but now the sumbitch had pups in his kitchen.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 08:49 PM

Kendall LOL that was good

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 12:43 PM

If it cost a dollar to go around the world, I couldn't get out of sight.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:10 PM

It is so bad that catter's now have to hand write their messages and tape it to the wall

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:11 PM

so bad my old watch just asked me what time it is

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:13 PM

You got Tape!!

You got walls!!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:24 PM

David, outstanding !!   LOL

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:31 PM

Its so bad they are now shortening song times ...yea
lightfoots "if you could read my mind" is now "if you could read!"

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:40 PM

so bad that MacAfee is diversifying into the virus market.

errrmmm?

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 02:16 PM

T-mes is -o b-d,-hev"e r-poss-d sum- of th- k-ys of -y k-ybo-d


-avi- Ca-er

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 08:31 AM

By the end of the week a stew finally becomes just baked beans.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 08:40 AM

We all sit round, eyes glued to the empty space where the TV used to be.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 09:56 AM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 12:51 PM

You had a TV? we would have killed for one!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 12:57 PM

How do think we got ours!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:15 PM

On Saturday nights my wife makes her speciality for all of us.

It's called "Diluted Water Soup".
Three parts tap water,
One part diluted water,
A dash of salt and pepper,"to taste".
Pour "contents"into large saucepan,mix well and bring to the boil.
Leave to simmer for two hours,serve while hot.
She learned this from her mother during the Balkan wars.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:35 PM

My mom use to wavy a chicken over boiling water to get the sent ... Once she added a carrot but that was a special occasion

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:41 PM

Its so bad that I bought a toothless dog so I wouldn't have to feed em!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:46 PM

You had a chicken!

Plus a carrot!

I don't believe this!

Such oppulence!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:47 PM

so bad I got a predeclined credit card in the mail

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 01:59 PM

Our local Sperm Bank refused to renew my credit card....said I was "overdrawn"

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 02:42 PM

There is some very funny stuff here. Keep it coming.

My Father said he would move us into a mud hut as soon as he could afford one.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:08 PM

so bad the prostitute asked me for 20 bucks until she could get back on her back

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:18 PM

So bad I put life savers in the church collection basket

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM

When you get the mail and your social security check is now an IOU

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:38 PM

so bad the new tax forms only have two questions
1. How much did you make
2. Mail it in

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 07:08 PM

Its so bad I worked my way up from nothing to poverty

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 07:24 PM

I started out 50 years ago with nothing. Still have most of it.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 07:58 PM

LOL !!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:38 AM

My reflection in the mirror is better dressed than I am.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Amergin
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:47 AM

It's so bad I had to move into my parent's cardboard box, because I couldn't afford the rent on my own.....

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Amergin
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:51 AM

It's so bad, I had to go outside to take showers to save on the water.....well that is until the neighbours complained and animal control showed up....

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:14 AM

LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:30 AM

Our local Taxidermist said he would see to it that we would have Stuffed Chicken for Christmas.I thought..."How kind of him".Then
he said,"If you take care of the chicken,I'll take care of the rest!"

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:40 AM

We put our empty refuge bins out at night.
Next morning the refuse collectors come by and fill 'em up.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 08:20 AM

It's so bad here we don't have any refuse.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:04 PM

Its so bad that airline pilots are stealing in flight meals.

Its so bad that Johnny Paycheck wrote a new song
'Take this job and love it'.

Its so bad people are selling pennies to scrap yards.

Its so bad that Tops is now at the bottom, Safeway is totally unsafe, Giant is downsized, Super Fresh went stale, Piggly Wiggly doesn't move and Walmart is building new stores in Bethesda and Beverly Hills.

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:32 PM

Donuel
you are right bro! I saw a can of the Jolly Green Giant in the grocery store now labeled "Little People Peas"

Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 02:08 PM

I don't think my stomach could deal with a whole pea all at once.

Anyway,they sell them round here by the unit.