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Subject: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Donuel Date: 08 Mar 11 - 12:04 PM Two Guys at a Safeway checkout. At a self checkout counter, Beep… Beep… Kerbeep, the 60 year old man in a bomber jacket moved one full bag of organic celery and two for the price of one Drisoll Strawberries that were as deep a red as you've ever seen. "Excuse me but I tink one of your items didn't scan", said the cute but large young black clerk who had a slight jovial Jamaican accent. You know I hate when stuff like this happens with these checkouts, it makes the consumer look like some kind of thief. All I did was move the bag to make room for another and the screen is telling me *unexpected item in bagging area*. "No no it's not like that", she takes the bag and ties to scan the celery, *item not found* "See, it's not in the computer. Well that is the same kind of excuse I hear when the computer charges more than what the signs say. You know that can be sort of the opposite of shop lifting, but no one is responsible, it's just a machine glitch. "No it's not like that here" See, I had to put in the right code, let me scan your whole order up here. OK but I don't ever want to use these self checkouts again; I'll get a real clerk to… "It's OK I'll do everting right here. Thank you, mostly I love to complain. "Oh no you don't, there are people who really complain" Beep, Beep. Really. I like to complain. Yesterday I was at Bed and Bath and was about to buy a reduced item that had a hand written price tag and the clerk acted as if I was trying to steal the pillow with a homemade price tag and was looking for a manager when I said, I will not pay for any item you need to executive decisions for. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong, as if I am being scrutinized for wrong doing every time I go shopping. "It's not like that here sir, besides you are not a complainer, There are people who complain like you would not believe" her voice trails off. Mr. bomber jacket dragged his debit card to pay but had to do it twice. He was using his wife's card since he tried to initialize his card by home phone but bollixed it up when he entered his last 4 digits of his social security number and the robot said, *our system does not recognize this procedure, please contact your own banking agency*. Beyond the checkout a white haired man in a Members Only jacket stood near the Starbucks stand holding a small reusable nylon bag of groceries. He looked up and down all the checkouts and saw there was only one clerk here at the self checkout station while all the full service checkout were empty. He said "Where is everybody?" Mr. Bomber jacket looked up and said, They are conditioning us to use the do it yourself check out. Mr. white hair chuckled and said "I thought there might be a strike or everyone crossed the border to avoid working like those Wisconsin Senators, heh heh." Mr. Bomber thanked the clerk quickly and edged his cart toward Mr., White and stopped to say, "I support unions although I have never been a member. "Well I do too" said Mr. White, "but when these democrat senators run away it not doing their job." Mr. Bomber: You know that was not a new or silly or cowardly thing to do, Abraham Lincoln did the same thing but he escaped through an upstairs window to deny a quorum vote to something he didn't believe in. And that was when he was still a young man in Springfield Illinois. Media makes it sound as if what the Senators did was something new and unheard of. Mr. White's eyes opened wide as if he had acquired a worthy adversary or prey and considered what he just heard and then said "Well I don't like paying for teachers unions to jack up salaries I pay for. I have a friend who teaches third grade and makes $100,000. Mr. Bomber: I won't believe that unless he shows me his W-2. Mr. White starts to saunters toward the exit. "It's true, he has his Masters degree. The exit doors automatically open as a cool pre Spring wind gusts into the store entrance. Mr. Bomber: Oh so it's about those arrogant rich teachers flaunting their Kia or their 10 year old Mercedes. Mr. White: "I just don't want to pay for their groceries, their homes, their... Mr. Bomber: I'll tell you what you don't want. You don't want to pay for a nation. You don't want to pay for your own country. The pithy amount of tax you pay compared to all the things you could not possibly do by yourself is staggering. How would you like to shovel all the snow on all the streets you drive? Mr. White: "I'll tell you what I don't want, I don't want words put in my mouth, I just said I wouldn't mind making $100,000 and have summers off. Now outside nearing the parking lot Mr. Bomber says; I couldn't possibly put words in your mouth, someone else already did. Everything you have said is verbatim FOX News talking points that are designed to enrich the rich and divide impoverished American workers. As their path widens Mr. White raises his voice in the parking lot "I just don't want to pay for their gas! Mr. Bomber: You don't, they are working for it, they are giving their work for something in return…We shouldn't be divided. we all should deputize ourselves to learn the truth. The whole truth from many points of view. Then we are at least all on the same side of truth. Mr. Bomber couldn't hear what Mr. White said back. Mr. White probably didn't hear what Mr. Bomber just said. But they both thought to themselves "Now that guy was a real complainer". PS Mr. B got into his late model Cadillac while Mr. W drove away in his Toyota. They both passed a gas station selling gas for $4 bucks a gallon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Donuel Date: 08 Mar 11 - 12:19 PM easier to read version Two Guys at a Safeway checkout. At a self checkout counter, Beep… Beep… Kerbeep, the 60 year old man in a bomber jacket moved one full bag of organic celery and two for the price of one Drisoll Strawberries that were as deep a red as you've ever seen . "Excuse me but I tink one of your items didn't scan", said the cute but large young black clerk who had a slight jovial Jamaican accent. You know I hate when stuff like this happens with these checkouts, it makes the consumer look like some kind of thief. All I did was move the bag to make room for another and the screen is telling me *unexpected item in bagging area*. "No no it's not like that", she takes the bag and ties to scan the celery, *item not found* "See, it's not in the computer. Well that is the same kind of excuse I hear when the computer charges more than what the signs say. You know that can be sort of the opposite of shop lifting, but no one is responsible, it's just a machine glitch. "No it's not like that here" See, I had to put in the right code, let me scan your whole order up here. OK but I don't ever want to use these self checkouts again; I'll get a real clerk to… "It's OK I'll do everting right here. Thank you, mostly I love to complain. "Oh no you don't, there are people who really complain" Beep, Beep. Really. I like to complain. Yesterday I was at Bed and Bath and was about to buy a reduced item that had a hand written price tag and the clerk acted as if I was trying to steal the pillow with a homemade price tag and was looking for a manager when I said, I will not pay for any item you need executive decisions for. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong, as if I am being scrutinized for wrong doing every time I go shopping. "It's not like that here sir, besides you are not a complainer, There are people who complain like you would not believe" her voice trails off. Mr. Bomber jacket dragged his debit card to pay but had to do it twice. He was using his wife's card since he tried to initialize his card by home phone but bollixed it up when he entered his last 4 digits of his social security number and the robot said, *our system does not recognize this procedure, please contact your own banking agency*. Beyond the checkout a white haired man in a Members Only jacket stood near the Starbucks stand holding a small reusable nylon bag of groceries. He looked up and down all the checkouts and saw there was only one clerk here at the self checkout station while all the full service checkout were empty. He said "Where is everybody?" Mr. Bomber jacket looked up and said, They are conditioning us to use the do it yourself check out! Mr. White hair chuckled and said "I thought there might be a strike or everyone crossed the border to avoid working like those Wisconsin Senators, heh heh." Mr. Bomber thanked the clerk quickly and edged his cart toward Mr., White and stopped to say, "I support unions although I have never been a member. "Well I do too" said Mr. White, "but when these democrat senators run away they are simply not doing their job." Mr. Bomber: You know that was not a new or silly or cowardly thing to do, Abraham Lincoln did the same thing but he escaped through an upstairs window to deny a quorum vote to something he didn't believe in. And that was when he was still a young man in Springfield Illinois. Media makes it sound as if what the Senators did was something new and unheard of. Mr. White's eyes opened wide as if he had acquired a worthy adversary or prey and considered what he just heard and then said "Well I don't like paying for teachers unions to jack up salaries I pay for. I have a friend who teaches third grade and makes $100,000. Mr. Bomber: I won't believe that unless he shows me his W-2. Mr. White starts to saunter toward the exit. "It's true, he has his Masters degree. The exit doors automatically open as a cool pre Spring wind gusts into the store entrance. Mr. Bomber: Oh so it's about those arrogant rich teachers flaunting their Kia or their 10 year old Mercedes? Mr. White: "I just don't want to pay for their groceries, their homes, their... Mr. Bomber: I'll tell you what you don't want. You don't want to pay for a nation. You don't want to pay for your own country. The pithy amount of tax you pay compared to all the things you could not possibly do by yourself is staggering. How would you like to shovel all the snow on all the streets you drive? Mr. White: "I'll tell you what I don't want, I don't want words put in my mouth, I just said I wouldn't mind making $100,000 and have summers off. Now outside nearing the parking lot Mr. Bomber says; I couldn't possibly put words in your mouth, someone else already did. Everything you have said is verbatim FOX News talking points that are designed to enrich the rich and divide impoverished American workers. As their path widens Mr. White raises his voice in the parking lot "I just don't want to pay for their gas! Mr. Bomber: You don't, they are working for it, they are giving their work for something in return…We shouldn't be divided. we all should deputize ourselves to learn the truth. The whole truth from many points of view. Then we are at least all on the same side of truth. Mr. Bomber couldn't hear what Mr. White said back. Mr. White probably didn't hear what Mr. Bomber just said. But they both thought to themselves "Now that guy was a real complainer". PS Mr. B got into his late model Cadillac while Mr. W drove away in his Toyota. They both passed a gas station selling gas for $4 bucks a gallon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 08 Mar 11 - 01:56 PM Interesting hypothesis but I missed the relevance of the Cadillac and the Toyota. I often miss ironic things like that, so if you would elucidate...? (By the way, you probably want 'paltry' rather than 'pithy'.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Becca72 Date: 08 Mar 11 - 02:27 PM Ebbie - the Caddy is a gas guzzler and the Toyota is likely not. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 08 Mar 11 - 03:05 PM I know, Becca, but in the story Mr. B with the Cadillac is the concerned one and the politically conservative one has the eco-sensitive car... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ed T Date: 08 Mar 11 - 03:22 PM On a recent visit to a grocery store, I noticed that the self checkout clerk voice is much more polite than a regular clerk (please this, thankyou that). It threw me off. I made a suggestion. Customers should be able to adjust the politeness level to match the level of politeness/rudness of the clerks normally serving customers. That way, you would get the normal experience when visiting the store. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: gnu Date: 08 Mar 11 - 03:31 PM And take all the fun out of it, Ed? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Bill D Date: 08 Mar 11 - 03:39 PM "Customers should be able to adjust the politeness level ..." As long as it doesn't simulate the intelligence level! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ed T Date: 08 Mar 11 - 04:10 PM A self checkout has the potential to make anyone feel (and maybe look) like a helpless fool:) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Becca72 Date: 08 Mar 11 - 04:42 PM Ebbie, can't judge a book by its cover? I dunno. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: gnu Date: 08 Mar 11 - 05:46 PM Self checkouts are sickening. One more step to your own demise by a machine. What's next? Growing your own food? Think about it. I refuse to use them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,999 Date: 08 Mar 11 - 11:41 PM Posted this before, and just took the below from the www. Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog, and was standing in line at Wal-Mart getting ready to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was "where's your sign lady" but decided to go with it…SO…On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Weight Loss Diet again. I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is; you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete… so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least. Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. She got upset. Made a complaint. WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore. It was worth it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 09 Mar 11 - 04:39 AM I hate and refuse to use the self check-out, shopping isn't my favourite past time and having to mess around with that would really stress me out no end. At a supermarket near me we often have young scouts, girl guides and kids like that offering to pack your bag hoping that a donation goes in their charity bucket. One particular girl was so interesting I carried on chatting to her and dropped a smallI donation in the bucket but forgot about the foodbill and continued to walk through until I remembered there was a little something I had forgotten to do! But it was ok they know me well now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Becca72 Date: 09 Mar 11 - 09:27 AM I worked as a cashier at Shaw's supermarket for 9 years (starting at age 16). I did my time as far as I'm concerned so I use the regular staffed registers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 09 Mar 11 - 09:42 AM The one I go to is Morrison's which in this area Bristol is not as oversized as Asda or Tesco and over time I have got to know the faces at the check-out and behind the news-counter section who say hello and how are you doing back which is nice plus they don't shift things to other shelves. Everything is in exactly the same place as it always was and I can always plan approximately how long it is going to take. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:02 PM re: customers adjusting the politeness level to match that of the checkout assistant. Reminds me of that Monty Python sketch "Is this a sixpenny argument or a shilling one?" I hate it when the checkout lady thrusts all the wet and bloody chicken and meat items in with bread and biscuits etc. before you can start packing. If you ask for separate bags, she tuts loudly. The last time this happened (in Tesco's) I plucked up my courage and asked "Why are you tutting? Raw meat should always be packed separately" She tutted again, scowled and said "Pack it yourself then". Charming! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: wysiwyg Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:39 PM My fave checkout story is from my very-cool little brother when, at age 35 or so, he rather suddenly became a daddie. He reported with relish about the day he caught himself rocking an armful of paper towels in the checkout line... that swaying, rocking motion? He was exhausted from walking the floor with the colicky son he was so proud of. Ydy at a store here, I saw a new daddie doing something similarly "uncool"-- blowing bubbles and making babytalk sillies to a wee one hidden under a pile of blankets in his carrier, atop the cart. At checkouts, nowadays, one of my favorite activities is to engage fussy little ones ahead of me in line (they are facing me from their cart seat) in a game of peekaboo-- so mommie or daddie or grannie get a respite from soothing the crabbies. My mind is chckful of babyface memories of those! :~) ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Donuel Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:54 PM The checkout story was as near verbatim as I could remember. I of course was Mr. B. The Comcast call story is much funnier but no where near as succint and hilarious dog food story. I good independant film titled Checkout has some very compelling moments to it. Different employees make the time fly in different ways. Ann Bankroft did a one women show in which she was interrogated by the police regarding her murder of a lady in the express checkout line who had more than 15 items. -------------- In a minature version of what the Yes Men do, I have thought about making all sorts of lables and artificial meters and control knobs that I would surruptiouscly place in grocery stores or other retail shops. Labels: Now Safe to Eat! Now with no Melamine Buy One and steal one free Unsafe for Insects Expiration dates Feb. 15 1985 May contain marsupial, insect or Nutria parts Now Cyanide free From caged and shackeled animals for that tender taste. All cattle humanely executed by lethal injection Safe for Chinese consumption Choice FDA inspection free meat (labeled GOP) Made and packaged by ethnicly pure white Christians May contain Mexican fecal matter Devices: A politness knob that goes from crass to rude to Decorious to polite. (inspired by mudcat radiation badge (in danger zone) flavor slide bar (from tastless to spicy) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Arthur_itus Date: 09 Mar 11 - 05:35 PM I love it when the female cashier says "Do you need any help with your packing" I immediately say "Are you being sexist? Just becuase I am a man, does not mean I am not capable of packing" That takes em by surprise. What annoys me, is when I try to put things on the belt in a structured way, making it easy to pack things that are the same into the same bag, the buggers start the belt and don't give you time to organise things properly. I always start with Drink first, then vegatables, then meat, then ....... However the trolley isn't stacked that way, so it takes time to sectionalise things. The good till operators allow you to get things organised and then you are ready they start to put things through. I am then at the other end packing and by the time the operator has finished, I am finished. and ready to pay. If they push things through without waiting, then I take twice as long to pack on purpose and at the end, I say "My wife doesn't like it if I don't pack things properly and I get a bollocking off her." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ross Campbell Date: 09 Mar 11 - 10:43 PM $4 a gallon and you think you've got some complaining to do? Try £1.40 a litre for diesel in UK (£7 a gallon, OK we get bigger gallons than you, but still over $10 a gallon). Don't seem to get much conversation at check-outs over here - there's a standard query "Do you need any help with your packing?" whether you've got one item or twenty, and whether you're aged twenty or ninety. Bags are reluctantly offered (or have to be paid for in Aldi, Lidl and others) if you have forgotten to bring back your "Bag for Life" which you paid for last time. Pressure of queues building up behind you means the staff aren't likely to hold things back for pleasantries. Head down, "Beep, beep, beep" is the order of the day. And the Safeway name, which survived here for a number of years after a UK management buy-out, has disappeared following the take-over by Morrisons a few years back. Ross |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:12 AM Densely populated areas, whether cities or countries, apparently settle into a different life mode than I ever encounter. Juneau, Alaska, is a small town - about 30000 (and there was a time I thought 3,000 was a goodsized town) and I often think of it as being a town apart. Not so much behind the times - we have a healthy preponderance of college graduates and people with doctorates in every conceivable field - but instead rather like a town that stepped aside, out of the path, so that it can go its own pace. Our checkout people tend, if anything, to be too chatty. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 10 Mar 11 - 09:49 AM Lately I have noticed people taking sly looks at the contents of other people's baskets or trolley contents. I have to admit I sometimes look for inspiration when I glance into someone elses basket, what to get, what new to try and to see if their purchases are looking healthier/unhealthier than mine. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: wysiwyg Date: 10 Mar 11 - 10:00 AM Our checkout people tend, if anything, to be too chatty. That reminds me of the story I'm hearing around here quite frequently-- since we started getting "too crowded" with transplants? YMMV, but here, when I hear that, it's an indication of a newcomer having arrived too recently to learn that this is one big way how this community looks after folks, by having exactly those chatty conversations. When those folks have been here thru 2 tough winters, :~) even if they have a pretty hard (citified) head, they either figure this out, die of their hardheadedness-- or leave the wild hills to those of us who can handle it, and move elsewhere. (Not talking aboutchoo, Eb.) ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 11 - 10:49 AM I know, Susan. I enjoy the US southern approach to service. I had stopped in a North Carolina post office to mail off a package and there was a fairly long line (queue). When I got to the head of the line, the clerk behind the counter was speaking to the woman she was serving, asking about her "lovely mother" and how well she was recuperating from her recent surgery. It was a sweetly charming conversation. I waited patiently. Just as I would if a doctor were taking his time with another patient. Because he/she would do the same with me when it got to be my turn. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: wysiwyg Date: 10 Mar 11 - 12:40 PM Yeah! And YOU, Ebbie, are the example of the kind of folks that stay here and he'p out the younger ones (like us) who start out as transplants-- :~) the teachable ones that is! ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:11 PM I do that, Patsy. I check for green vegetables and cookable raw ingredients in other people's trolleys, and feel odiously smug when I see microwavable dinners, pizzas and crates of Coke. I've sometimes sent my poor husband back into the aisles from the checkout to get an item I've spotted in front of us in the queue. He's very tolerant, but I sometimes wonder if he's secretly like to eat junk food and fewer casseroles and stews! Trouble is, junk food and ready cooked stuff is more expensive, and I like to cook. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:40 PM I wish I liked to cook. I like to eat but I do not like to cook. Give me the washing up job. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:45 PM You'll think I'm mad Ebbie, but I also like to wash up! We have no dishwasher, but I have rather arthritic hands and the hot water seems to loosen the joints a bit! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 11 - 03:04 PM Ah, a woman after my own heart! Comeona my house. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 10 Mar 11 - 03:12 PM And send for the men in white coats, because I also love ironing. (Same reason, nice warm job) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Dave MacKenzie Date: 10 Mar 11 - 03:14 PM You won't find any real ingrediants in my trolley at the supermarket check-out - I get them from the Farmers' Markets. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,PeterC Date: 10 Mar 11 - 05:37 PM I love it when the female cashier says "Do you need any help with your packing" I immediately say "Are you being sexist? Just becuase I am a man, does not mean I am not capable of packing" I have often been tempted to say that but have never had the nerve. I prefer to use Waitrose where you get a handheld scanner to carry round the store as I can pack the bags as I go rather than at the checkout. Tesco are introducing scan as you shop in most of their larger stores now but Sainsbury's are going for self checkout in a big way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: meself Date: 11 Mar 11 - 11:04 AM Yes, let's get rid of these pesky check-out clerks .... and then complain about the vast numbers of people who "just don't want to work" .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: gnu Date: 11 Mar 11 - 02:18 PM I absolutely refuse to use a machine to check out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Dave MacKenzie Date: 11 Mar 11 - 04:10 PM There's no point in me using those do-it-yourself check-outs - they refuse to believe that I'm over 12. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 12 Mar 11 - 09:53 AM Whenever we go to B&Q and use the automatic self-checkout, my husband solemnly talks back to the 'robot' and at the end wishes her 'Good afternoon, Mademoiselle'. He still isn't sure it's not a disembodied voice from the Manager's Office with a hidden camera and microphone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Bert Date: 12 Mar 11 - 10:50 PM Here's one you all can use. I was buying a garden tool at Home Depot. I asked "Do you have any tools made in The USA" Answer "No, I'm sorry" Me "Can I pay in Chinese money then?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Donuel Date: 12 Mar 11 - 11:17 PM ooo Guess what. China will not allow their money on the monetary exchange. There is talk one may soon be able to invest in the yuan but they will set a cap at $30K. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Grocery check out conversations From: Ross Campbell Date: 13 Mar 11 - 11:26 PM The Chinese don't need to allow their currency to suiffer the vagaries of the monetary exchanges. The USA and everybody else have been paying for everything in dollars for so long that China now has HUGE dollar reserves which it can and will use any way it wants. Ross |