BS: gnu retires

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 09:31 PM

Enjoy your new stuff!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 06:41 PM

Buddy, me house ain't that big. But the new TV is! Wow! I can SEE it from 13' away!

I even bought a new chair for my office today... assembled!... for $100 tax in. My back is getting better already. The replaced chair had pillows and towels on it at over 18 years old so I guess it served it's purpose, even tho I paid 40 bucks for it!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 06:13 PM

47"??? You'll never keep up with the Jonzes that way; surely you thought you were ordering the 74", didn't ya?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 05:18 PM

Another retirement gift arrived today! A while back, I gave up the recliner and put a glider rocker halfway to the TV so I could read the guide and such on my TV. Moving it back to where it was shortly and returning to comfort. Cashed my second pension cheque yesterday and got this on sale. Sure beats the old CRT clunker.

The retirement party continues.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 09:20 PM

Thanks, Lass. He wasn't a close buddy but he was a cool dude.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 05:44 PM

I am sorry about Pete, gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 09:03 PM

Say, Bobert... maybe I was too hasty... what kinda coin does a bum in the park make? What are the hours?... flexie-hours? What's the benefit package like? Do I need a union ticket? Do I have to take courses? So many questions. I need more details before I turn down being "Leader of The Free World."

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 08:41 PM

Yeah, yer right...

I'll keep in the case...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 08:34 PM

US Prez? I dunno. Seems like a lot of hours. 24/7/365 on call? I did that on call shit from 8AM to 10PM 7/7 when I worked for me and I hated it. Besides... no one in politics would support me as I am for gun control, for equality control, for health care control, for fair wages control, for environmental control, for... ain't no way to get control of big money so ain't no way to get any control in politics. That there's gonna take a young man with a gun according to history and the newspapers I read every day lately.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 07:59 PM

Okay, you sucked at being a Walmart greeter because you wouldn't do mop duty...

You say that yer arthritis is too bad to sell women shoes...

You don't want to be pope...

Guess that leaves only two choices: just another bum in the park or...

...president of the United States...

Whaddayathink??? Yeah, I know that yer supposed to be American citizen... No problem... I'll hook you up with the guy that did Obama's birth certificate... Ya' know, you do look like you were born in Montana...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 07:02 PM

South for a visit?

Many know... I am housebound for the foreseeable future due to family commitments.

Now... the only reason I checked back into this thread is (and, I am glad I did - thanks for the nice comments)... PETE DIED! When I had my VERY brief stint in the coveted Blue Vest, Pete was the guy that showed me the ropes. Only for four hours but I knew him as he sometimes attended St. Bernard's which is where I met him years back.

RIP Pete.

SOB! I just talked to him a few of weeks ago! I don't go to Walmart all that often... usually just to go for a walk inside, out of the cold and wind and look at the young ladies which seem to abound in such stores.

Yes... I am a dirty old man. What's wrong with that? I don't harass any of them. I just long for my youth.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 11:14 PM

gnu, Charley asks a good question. I think it would be great if you stopped in Maine on your way to or from Rhode Island!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 08:21 AM

gnu-

So when do you travel south for a visit?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 08:29 AM

Selfish old git. Don't you know the world needs you?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM

Bobert... ganew the first? I'd make some changes and even more so than Bro Joe (see the other thread). But... I just wanna retire an RElax and sing an write and banter with peeps like youse.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 09:21 PM

I hear that the Vatican has an opening, Gn-ze...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charmion
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:58 PM

Now that's what I call a CLOCK!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:19 PM

wot an excellent pressie!

good clear face, unlike the clock I bought myself recently - dunno why I didn't notice it had a dark background, but I can still read it.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 06:17 PM

Well. Having worked for an awful PRICK of a boss since 1996.01.03, the day I was officially self-employed, I looked forward to retirement. I ran my consultant engineering company with one employee and he worked like the dog I mushed.

I recently held a retirement party for him and gave him something he should have had for a while... the perfect gift. When he is using the oven in his stove, he can't see the time on the stove clock and, since the piece of shit microwave oven clock stopped keeping the correct time after only 25 years (ya can't but good quip anymore, can ya?!), it's a bother so I bought him a new kitchen clock and presented it to him at the big retirement bash! He programmed it and installed it on the weekend and posted a pick of it on
flickr.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 11:49 PM

I've had this page floating around, waiting to read it today. Perhaps it will help you.

IE 10 is more secure, so here's a Microsoft tool to prevent you updating by mistake.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 09:05 PM

BTW... with IE10 and WIN8... when I type in this box, the spellcheck works. That's gonna help with all my typos but it's gonna slow me down.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 09:01 PM

I haven't got time for anything except FIGHTING and CLAWING my way through Windows 8 on my new laptop... 6 hours to get IE10 to show up -aaaaggggghhhhhhhh. I am sure it is very simple if you know how to do it. Otherwise, silly old gits like me think... click IE on the start up screen... nope... not a hope. Ya get "This here is great!" but ya don't get it.

Explanation : I won the NB Power lotto last night. I had a PC problem earlier in the week and it went from bad to good to worse. I lost the first NBEPC lotto last night but the second time the power went out... I won a new laptop with Windows 8! Cost me about $740.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 03:53 PM

I suspect that you might cover gas money to and from work for what a contractor pays at Costco or Sam's Club.

I know what you could invent - a special white paint to spray on the world's glaciers to reflect sunlight so they won't melt so fast!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 12:34 PM

"...allows for a personality."

Umm... there's such a thing as 'too much personality'.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 12:22 PM

In retirement I have contemplated applying for a demo job in our local Costco. Not sure what it pays - beginning wage for a Costco worker is $17 but demo folks actually work for a contractor, not Costco itself.

Beats being a greeter, and allows for a personality.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 04:22 AM

Design a monster chomper that can take a landfill and turn it into vaporized particles which it then sorts into bins for reuse, hey? A marine drive that works off salt, and hydrogen, hey? A rooftile that harvests energy,, hey? A improved tidal generator, hey?

Brains like your are a terrible thing to waste.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 11:32 PM

excellent ideas, Donuel

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 09:34 PM

If you are an an inventive engineer with a conscience you might easily out do President Carter and his work with habitat for humanity.

Are there needs you have thought of fullfilling?

Prankster? hint: posting professional signs of a Walmart coming soon to this location along with a fake county zoning exception notification, and putting them in swanky neighborhoods or historic parklands.

Design the gravity electric generator that charges solar systems at night or simply light areas at night?

Engineer a psych adversity training device that would prevent men from saying anything really stupid about women?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:57 PM

REtirement land has sucked for the past six hours or so... another PC crash. I am on on old machine I had to update and update and coaz and kick to get to my email and from there... an HOUR to get here.

I gave up on seekin employment until after the Stupidbowl on Sunday.... well... it may be Tuesday or later depeding on how good the "game" is.

Bobert... I got the shopping thing down as far as groceries go. I know the price of all staples and hundreds of items at the the big three. And, as fer big butts, well, I was a receiver-checker for men's and lady's wear departments at Kmart for two months as I replaced the r-cs of those departments the summer I was 17 years old. Wrote about it here before.... always got my work done no sweat and Mr. Miller, manager of lady's wear, would put on a blue light special and we would stand near the dressing rooms. Swimsuits specials and sun dress specials and HALTER & TUBETOP specials were my favs. The lasses would come out and say, "I need a man's opinion?" Mr. Miller would say, "You could easily wear a size smaller... probably two sizes smaller." You do the math!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:48 PM

Did you celebrate your personal retirement party in the nude?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:13 PM

Here's another idea, gn-ze...

Male escort service... There are plenty of ol' broads out there who need a little eye candy to escort them to parties, shoppin', etc...

Just remember to say "no" when they take you shopping and ask you if the dress they are trying on makes their butt look big...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: freda underhill
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 05:57 PM

how's it going there in re-tirement land gnu? glad you ditched the spew + I'm looking forward to your next exciting adventure.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 13 - 05:50 PM

Got my first pension cheque yesterday. Bought a bunch of beer and snacks for the retirement party. Went to the bank to deposit it. It's postdated 25 Jan... but the beer was cold and the wings were fresh so I considered them NOWdated. I am having leftovers as I type. Well, wings. Had ta buy fresh beer. The leftover stuff was stale. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Jan 13 - 05:12 AM

Gotta know where y'all are going to drive a cab. g ain't made up his mind yet ;)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jan 13 - 06:46 PM

Danged, gn-ze... Bummer...

I'll keep thinkin' of stuff... I still like the cab driver idea... I did it my first year in college... It was real flexible... I picked my hours... The only thing the cab company required was you had to check out the cab for at least 4 hours...

Airport cab companies are safe...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 13 - 06:35 PM

I got offered $60 cash for an 8 hour shift drivin cab from a buddy. I said coool... 4AM to noon? He said late night to whenever. I said, same deal as when you asked me to (YEARS ago) play Rhan and sing and tell jokes to spell you off on your gigs and wouldn't pay me shit???... no thanks at any money will I drive cab at night, Bobert... that's a good way to meet the kinda girls I dono't go wit and riff-raff. Fookin Irish, eh?

Women's shoes? Nahhh... bad knees. Even if I could look up their skirts... >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jan 13 - 05:30 PM

I hate to say it, gn-ze, but I knew you weren't Walmart material... Too many I.Q. points bouncing 'round in yer squash...

I mean, let's examine exactly what it was you liked about being a Walmart greeter... Let's see... Oh yeah, chicks... I think you need to check out the department stores and maybe work in the woman's shoe department... They won't hire you to work the undies department so forget that idea... Feets ain't bad... Okay, sometimes they are... But most okay... And some, like, ahhhhh, really okay...

And no puke...

Here's another idea... Drive a cab... You get to set yer own hours pretty much and you will meet some chicks...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 13 - 04:59 PM

Well! So much for that!

I got a call from my "new" boss. The Greeter supposed to come at 4PM today called in sick... could I come in and work 4 to 10PM and we'd do the paperwork Monday? I said 4:30 and it was a deal. I was excited!

I got my Blue Vest and started smiling. At 5PM, my new boss's young... ahhh... whatever the hell manager he is... says... "Somebody just puked all over a sink in the men's room. Grab the cart from the janitor's closet and clean it." I said that I didn't think that whs what I was hired to do, that I am a greeter. He said it's part of "other duties as assigned from time to time." I asked why the janitor couldn't do it. Gone to supper. I asked why a stockboy or a cart boy couldn't do it. He said, "Do it." and walked away. Now. I am 55 years old and I know what that shit is about.

I went to the locker room, got my jacket, left my key in the lock and walked away too. Did't say shit to anyone. Called me Mum and told her. She said, "Well, you can watch the football." ???!!! I forgot that after US college football is over, NFL football is played on Saturday TOO!. So, the game is on my TV, I am having an ale, and I am watchin the game as a Sharp Dressed Man. .

Tomorrow, I shall explore other alternatives. I was thinking about seeing a career consultant but those guys are just bullshit artists who tell you... hey!...YEAH!... a career in being a career consultant! I am GAME! I am definitely qualified. Not on the scale of some the emminently qualified bullshit artists that grace this forum with their, ahhh, musings, but I can hold a candle to their farts and illuminate.

Now THAT was a bullshit call... it was a SCORING PLAY and there was pass ineteference and they DID NOT REVIEW IT? WTF are the RULES for if ya don't follow them?

I like being retired. Fuck Walmart.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: skarpi
Date: 12 Jan 13 - 01:52 AM

dear friend , enjoy your new job ...it has a lot of life :) ...

all the best Skarpi Iceland .

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jan 13 - 01:20 PM

Thanks for all the well wishes and congrats.

Megan... me" behave" Of course I will... you know me.

Alaska Mike! Nice to hear from you. Not too often we do. Even IF I needed someone to hold him, it wouldl't be right for you to do it... the pissmire would probably die of fright. I know I wouldn't want those bear paws on ME! Florida sounds reeeeal good for the very reasons you lest WaaaaayUP there.

One of my curling buddies has offered to lend me a load pins he collected all over Canuckistan but I refused. What if I got mugged in the parking lot for my Blue Vest and lost all his pins? I'd be devastated!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 11 Jan 13 - 04:10 AM

Welcome to the good life, gnu. If you ever get down to the gulf coast of Florida, I've always got a spare bedroom and an ice cold, home made brewski. Congrats!

BTW, who the hell is this dickwad, Ollaimh? Let me know if I can hold him for you.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Jan 13 - 03:51 AM

Gnu behave yersel or ah'll gie ye a skelp ahve telt ye afore no tae bite trolls spit it oot they diny taste good and are usually poisononous.

Everybody but everybody knows Gnus roots are in Ireland it would appear Ollaimh has heard too many musichall Irish jokes which are very racist.

By the way lad happy retirement better of getting a job in the library the lassies stand still longer

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Crowhugger
Date: 11 Jan 13 - 12:49 AM

Annnywayz on a cheerier note:
Way to go, I'm so happy for you, gnu! And if, in a moment of weakness I should stroll into your greeting zone, please toss me right back out the door, being sure to kick my behind firmly enough to bring me back to my sense!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 09:43 PM

ollaimh... fuck off you ignorant piece of shit... call me racist one more time with no basis, as you have done before, and I will fuck you over... I will make it my FULL time job in my retirement you fucking asshole. I am well educated, intelligent NOT racist and *I* have some fucking manners.

That don't mean I wouldn't kick your ass if you talked to me like that in person you trash.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 09:33 PM

Froggy... us lads from Kent County don't need no mirrors! We justs shines up our gum rubber boots.

Minds me... I was at a dance up Kent County and I was askin the lasses fer a kiss if I could tell the colour of their panties after a dance. I was gettin kisses galore! on accounta I had me brand new gummies spiffy shined up. WAXED! fer the dance!

Well, seems them lasses got ta talkin in the wee lasses room an one that I hadn't danced with says she'll fix me an she takes her panties off. I asked her ta dance and when I made the offer and she accepted and when I snuck a peek at me gummies fer ta tell the colour of er panties I passed out... fainted dead away me son!

I woke up when someone threw cold water in me face and, first thing, I looked at me gummies and said, "Oh, thank Jaysus. I thought I had a crack in me new rubber boots."

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:27 PM

Nothing could be sweeter than to see the gnu greeter,
at the walmart.
He'll smile and greet the ladies, and then check out their titties,
at the walmart.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: framus
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:22 PM

Enjoy a long and lecherous retirement - fight again soon!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:05 PM

Of course he has, f-prince...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:01 PM

Have you considered getting a little mirror to put on top of one of your shoes?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 13 - 05:21 PM

Bobert... but I can still look, right? Maybe sunglasses? Hey, I need them for my eye problem, eh? What eye problem? Staring at nice tits... it's not really a problem for me but?