BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Bonnie - Guest
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 05:02 PM

To Sanity:

Hitchhike?? Are you out of your mind?

Do you really think a woman should be hitchhiking? - unless she is out of her mind.

Would you want your daughter, sister, hitchhiking??

I can't believe anyone would be so stupid as to suggest hitchhiking in this day and age.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 01:46 PM

They tell me that creatively talented people often are!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,eldergirl
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 01:39 PM

Bonnie, all I can say is, never say never. If that sounds too cloud-cuckoo land for you, I'm sorry, it's not meant to, but I've no wish to do details here of what has not too long ago happened to me; he never noticed my wedding ring though! So I rather rudely never answered his thoughtful little note.. This was in my last year at work, aged 60 and most definitely not looking!! Hoping something turns up for you. Really truly.
X el

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 12:54 PM

You're weird, sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 12:46 PM

If you hitch-hike, I'll pick you up and take you there...but you have to spring for the gas. I've been to Alaska before, I know the way!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 03:44 AM

Doesn't have to be at night, does it? How about weekends?

(I do taxis on occasion but I would agree it is not as good a way to meet men- one at a time is not good odds.)

I actually am serious about this. I have had many a conversation with both men and women at bus stops.

I have a widowed sister who says she can't 'do small talk'. My answer is that that strangers are more interested in how you make them feel than in how you feel.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Bonnie - Guest
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 03:21 AM

To Ebbie:

Ha! I don't have a car to ditch - don't have a car at all.

So I do use buses and trains to get around! Hard to get around at night though on public transit and quite a walk to the closest stop.
Not too good to be out late at night coming home on public transit for a woman alone. Do use it during the day, early evening hours though.
Plus no buses or trains (near me) that run very late anyway.
Taxis are too expensive.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 03:09 AM

I have a suggestion: Ditch your car and take the bus! Learn to start the conversation. Be upbeat and full of energy. Smile.

I thought of it the other day when I got to chatting with an interesting man at the bus stop. We got on famously. He suggested that we might meet again "tomorrow".

Not likely. I am really not interested in meeting 'someone'.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Bonnie
Date: 11 Jul 14 - 01:11 AM

"Someone shows up when you are least expecting it." "When you're not looking."
For the most part I don't really agree with that. Yes, when you are younger, that probably is true as there are a lot more single people around - but really after 50 I don't think that is too likely to happen. I used to meet people that way sometimes "when I least expected it" way back when.

When I was in my 20's & 30's & even maybe into the early 40's, that did happen sometimes but considering all the places I go to now such as the grocery store, library, post office, dentist office, bank (places where I am not thinking about meeting someone) but thinking about stamps I have to buy or cashing a check at the bank or going for dental check ups, well it is a myth about "when you are least expecting it" because come to think of it, I have never met anyone "when I was least expecting it" these days.

When I go to record shops and antique shops (my hobbies) I am concentrating on all the folk records I might find that day or antique shops (not always to buy but sometimes fun to browse.) These are times when I am actually not thinking about meeting someone - I am busy looking at the folk albums, etc. - and I guess you might say
"I am not looking" at those times. (to meet someone). But bottom line is even though those are situations where I am least expecting to meet someone - (it does not happen anyway.) I really think that is just a myth or cliché. Or happens when you are young.

Like I said, I did many, many years ago when a lot more single people were around, I would meet people when I was least expecting to - but not for years and years now.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jul 14 - 07:41 PM

Interesting - googling "wild west mail order brides" looks like there's hours worth of reading on the subject.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Jul 14 - 07:34 PM

Ebbie, I posted more, both parties...but alas, it got deleted...they were pretty good, too!!

GfS

P.S. I could probably remember them....

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 10 Jul 14 - 07:30 PM

Gender roles were not very rigid on the frontier, Richard Bridge. Who ever could do the work did it, and if they couldn't, they learned it fast. Men often did "women's work" because there were no women to do it, and women did "men's work" because all hands were needed.

I've heard more than a few stories about farms and ranches that were run by the oldest sister, after the accidents or disease had taken the parents.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Jul 14 - 08:11 AM

But, Guest 10:11, then the gender roles were more rigid.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 10:11 PM

"Hey, it's been on the 'news' that there are dating websites where people are getting married, being matched on the computer...and they haven't even met!
Sorta like a 'blind date'...but instead, a 'blind marriage'!"

American History ?

The wild west settled by lonely cowboys marrying mail order brides,
and weddings by proxy ?

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 08:54 PM

sheeeesh You made me laugh- you are right.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 07:54 PM

Well I was hoping you might have had better taste than Sarah. I'm not particularly a fan of hers...though she can be entertaining!..but so can Betty Boop!....(note the similarities!)

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 07:46 PM

Little, if any, homophobia here but - I'm afraid you're out of luck on this one, GfS. I observe that Palin is not aging well. I think the ugly has something to do with the Garbage In she delights in, evidenced by her Garbage Out.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 07:09 PM

Hey, it's been on the 'news' that there are dating websites where people are getting married, being matched on the computer...and they haven't even met!
Sorta like a 'blind date'...but instead, a 'blind marriage'!

But then, 'marriage' isn't what it used to be....but that's another story of deterioration!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,eldergirl on another computer
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 06:58 PM

I agree with Bat Goddess; someone turns up when you least expect it/ when you're not looking/ (I guess) when you're not giving out a "desperate" vibe. Not that you're desperate, Bonnie.. just somewhat concerned. Sorry I can't be more help. Focus on the activities you're doing. Hoping that Destiny kicks in for you.
X el

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 01:48 PM

Richard, It was a response to this question from Ebbie:

"I just hate calling names but why do I suddenly get the impression that GfS is in actuality Sarah Palin? ;)"

Which I also took in jest..and I believe that Ebbie meant no harm at all!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 01:43 PM

To whom did you, goofball, offer that suggestion? Since the OP is specifically looking for men (with the usual implied possible consequence) it would not seem to be apt for her.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 01:30 PM

Actually, on second thought, I'll re-post it....(for some reason, it was considered an 'insult'...by the same people who champion how 'normal and honorable' it is....

"Do you think you might be gay?"

So I guess that down deep..underneath, that to be asked if you are 'gay' is somehow derogatory....IRONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Homophobia' in 'noble and righteous' disguise??

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 01:23 PM

Well I offered a question to you in jest...but it got deleted by the fun loving humorist left wing.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 12:44 PM

"Please send picture of mobile home"?

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 09:39 AM

Im a male folkie in 59-60 bracket hoping to upgrade from a one man tent at festivals. Looking for single lady with a mobile home.

Beer Belly

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 14 - 04:43 AM

Im free!

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 11:44 PM

I just hate calling names but why do I suddenly get the impression that GfS is in actuality Sarah Palin? ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 11:13 PM

Well, read 'em and weep!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 09:48 PM

How sad for you goofball.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 09:41 PM

Think harder....or softer...

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 09:23 PM

Isn't it something into the oyster, usually?

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 06:55 PM

"Any Single Men 50-60 around??"

Trying to get them to try to stuff an oyster into a slot machine???


GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 06:47 PM

I'll second what My guru always said said. I found Tom (Curmudgeon) after I extricated myself from my first marriage which lasted (sort of) for ten years, and I swore I would never be stupid enough to marry again. I was adamantly NOT looking...even for an enjoyable companion. Then I went to a Christmas party at a recording studio and met Tom...and the rest is history.

In my experience, the best friendship/companionship/lover/whatever arrives when you least expect it and definitely are not searching for it.

Continue going to places where you enjoy what's going on and there will be new people with like tastes. Don't turn down opportunities to be social, but go because you enjoy the company and activity. The right person will find YOU.

I lost Tom a mere six months ago which means it's like yesterday. I'm not even THINKING about thinking about another companion on this crazy journey through life. But who knows what might happen in the future?

And if I don't, that's okay, too. I have a lot of friends (of all ages) and romance is not required. (Or, at this point, even desired.) I like living by myself. Not sure I'd ever find someone else who could put up with me being me and sharing a domicile besides.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 05:00 PM

Topsie: rather than "clubs and interest-groups for older people of both sexes", I would prefer older people to be welcome at "clubs and interest-groups for people of both sexes". I don't want to be shepherded into a social life restricted to one age group

Absolutely! People say things like "what can you possibly have in common with someone 20-30 years younger/ older than you?" "Shared interests" is the answer, whether musical, sporting or something else. I can have far more in common with a 30 year old climber or a young guitarist in an indie-type band than with a carpet slipper wearing, Vicar of Dibley re-run watching person my age who sits in front of the TV every evening.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 08:52 AM

Just go!

I occasionally go to the electric gigs of some kids who used to dogsit my house when I went away to festivalling - they liked to be in a house with many guitars to play and where they could see their girlfriends. They'd be about 20 now.

Friday I'm going to see two electric bands featuring contemporaries of my daughter's - So they are early 30s.

Of course the kids think I'm a mad old man. So what?

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 04:26 AM

Eliza's description of her village is very positive, but rather than "clubs and interest-groups for older people of both sexes", I would prefer older people to be welcome at "clubs and interest-groups for people of both sexes". I don't want to be shepherded into a social life restricted to one age group - I find the idea really depressing. Rob Naylors friends, whose ages range from 20s to 80s, sound much more appealing.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 04:09 AM

Here in UK, there is an ever-growing older population, and the clubs, societies, groups, adult-education facilities, sporty outlets etc etc are endless. Even in our tiny village, there are several clubs and interest-groups for older people of both sexes, well-subscribed and flourishing. Our Church is a great source of friends and social meetings. There are also, in most parts of the country, gyms, Keep Fit clubs and swimming pools with hours set aside for the older folk, the University of the Third Age, WEA lectures, Adult Education centres and so on, where one can learn and meet people. I'm sure there are the equivalent of these in the US. Good luck, Bonnie!

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 03:54 AM

it is pretty hard to meet new friends as you get older.

I don't agree with that.

I still have a few people from univesity that I'm in contact with....but rarely see. The last time I met one of them was about 3 years ago. Same with my early working life...a few people I'm in intermittent contact with.

The people I'd regard as my closest friends these days are mostly people I've met in the last 10-15 years. I took up rock-climbing when I was 42 and now, approaching 60, I have a wide circle of climbing friends in UK and abroad, several of whom I can just "drop in" on. I was 52 when I took up British Military Fitness and 54 when I started running half marathons and marathons, having not run a single step prior to 2007 since 1971! Again, I have several friends in the running and BMF worlds who I regard as true friends, rather than just good acquaintances. The music world (both folk and indie/ rock) has also civen me an ever-evolving circle of new acquaintances, some of whom have developed into friends.

There appear to be quite a few people of both sexes in my age group in all these areas of interest who are unattached, too, although I have to say my own friendships span a wide age range, from a climbing partner in her late 20s to a running friend who still does marathons at 82.

I was surprised, on emerging from a self-inflicted "work coccoon" of about 30 years duration to find ut how *easy* it was to make new friends as an older person. I had thought it would be almost impossible.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 08 Jul 14 - 02:41 AM

Bonnie, sorry if I upset or offended you in any way. I didn't mean to--I intended my comment to be more jovial than it seems to have come off. My point had more to do with not letting yourself think too much about that sort of thing...I know, from my own experience that it is easy to do.

In all seriousness, one last time, check MeetUp.com--Here is the description of one group called "Pacific Beach 45+Single Women Weekend Friends" in San Diego-

"This group is for single (divorced, widowed, separated, we're not picky about labels) women 45+ who enjoy the beach, movies, brunch, happy hour, the zoo, picnics, festivals, shopping, hikes, etc., but are tired of doing these activities alone. So, what I'll be doing in this meetup is scheduling something I would normally do, alone - go to the SD zoo, relax on the beach, take in a Saturday matinee, grab a bit to eat, or ride my beach cruiser on the boardwalk. "

And that it just one group--for instance, there are dozens of photography groups, at least a million hiking/biking/kayaking groups and, like all MeetUp groups, they are everywhere in the world.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 09:46 AM

it is pretty hard to meet new friends as you get older.
Up to a point, part of the trouble is that you simply don't form the same (non sexual) attachments to people that you did in your teens and early twenties. You end up with a cirle of people who you talk to in a friendly manner when you see them but would not drop around to their house.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 03:55 AM

Hah! The post eater is at it again.

As I said - typical pub song session, UK. 80% male. 80% of them in the specified age range. Sadly 80% of them white. Some may be unavailable but many simply MUST be on the market.

Learn and sing a saucy-ish song (maybe a music hall one, like "Puss, puss, puss") and you will be mobbed with admirers, Bonnie.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 03:45 AM

The suggestions of joining groups is a good one. There are walking groups where you can be with people and the dynamic is such that you get to talk to different people over the course of the day.
Something like a knitting bee is not going to cut it IMNSHO.
The way walking clubs work in the UK is that they usually have one or two with cars willing to share the journey to the "interesting" location and share the fuel costs.
Mingle is the catch-word. Spread your net wide. Volunteer for a worthy charity, join a band/trio maybe. But most of all, don't be earnest, be interested and interesting.

the demographic can't be ignored. There are more older women than men and in their 50's that is certainly true. It may take time.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 03:17 AM

I was just trying to remember how I met most of the men I currently am friends with.

* Two were co-workers, neither is married, both are in their 50s, both are straight
* Five were tenants of a building I once managed. I am no longer close with any of them although we still have coffee when we happen to meet and bring each other up to date. Four are married now, I have no idea whether the remaining one is straight
* One I met through a woman friend; he is gay
* One I met through the gay man. He is also gay
* Two are single men, elderly but interesting, that I met where I now live. We play cards together and have long talks. I think they are straight.
* Most of the rest of my men friends I met through music. Most of them are married, several are single. Not one is below 40.

All of these men are friends, i.e. if I needed help they would help.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 02:53 AM

Bonnie, I do hope you find somebody soon, and can relax in a happier life. I was alone for several years until I met my husband, and, like Joe, sometimes felt very sad and lonely, although I had quite a few lovely friends, which I've kept close to. I'm sure there is a good man out there for you, so trust to your destiny! I wish you lots of luck and send you my best wishes. Eliza

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Guest - Bonnie
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 12:21 AM

The last post was from me (Bonnie). I forgot to enter my name so it just says Guest. Was also having a tech problem for a few minutes in submitting message but I think it is ok now.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jul 14 - 12:18 AM

To Guest STIM,

Excuse me, but I do not "stare" at men's wedding bands on the bus.

There is a difference between just taking a glance and staring.

I never "stare" at anyone. It doesn't take long to "notice" a wedding band - you don't have to stare to see it. It is rude to stare and I DO NOT STARE.
I do attend, go to places I enjoy. If you reread my post, I was in a photography class (because I enjoy it) I took a guitar class (because I enjoy it), go to hear folk music .

Sure, it would be nice to meet someone at these places or classes so you can share that interest with someone else. I didn't say I was actually looking for a husband but would be nice to meet a guy to hang out and go out with sometimes.

I am not into some of the interests you mention. No dog and no one around here can have dogs in the apartments. I do have a cat though.
I also go to folk music venues and house concerts to hear folk singers that I enjoy listening to. (if I can get there on public transit.)

I am just saying that at these places (I do go to, there are just not single men there) I do live in a large city.
So I do have different interests. It just is not that easy to find single guys at these places to meet, hang out with.

My friends are married and do not live near me. We talk on the phone.
If they do go out at night it is with their husbands or a friend who lives in their area - close. Most of my friends who do drive (which is fewer and fewer) do not drive far or do not drive on freeways at all.(fear of driving as they get older I guess.) I don't have that huge circle of friends (woman)anymore- just a handful of friends but they do not live near me. I have known them for years and years and it is pretty hard to meet new friends as you get older. Most of them moved far away years ago to the suburbs when they got married.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jul 14 - 09:33 PM

Live! Live!

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 02 Jul 14 - 02:03 PM

She's on the West Coast, and rides the commuter train, which means she's in one of four major metropolitan areas. All of which have really active MeetUp groups for people in your age range;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 02 Jul 14 - 01:50 PM

Guest: 'Cat ownership beware' LOL. When my husband first arrived in England for our wedding, he met my FIVE cats and was a bit daunted. No-one keeps pets in his part of the world; they eat dogs, cats, rats, anything that has meat on it. Now, decades later, he absolutely adores our present contingent of three. Over the years, he's cried his eyes out at the demise of some of our elderly moggies, buried them solemnly in the garden and sincerely missed them. I always smile in the early morning when he goes to make us a nice cup of tea. He natters away in Malinke to them all in their large cat bed in a silly high voice. I bet they laugh their socks off at him! I certainly do. So even if you have pets, there is someone out there who can accept them.
I have to add that it's perfectly possible (like brave Shimrod) to create a happy and fulfilled life for oneself without a partner. We have a lovely chap of about sixty in our village who has never married, but has so many activities, interests and friends that he hardly has time to sit down. He seems to me to be one of the most well-balanced and contented folk I know.

Subject: RE: BS: Any Single Men 50-60 around??
From: Jim McLean
Date: 02 Jul 14 - 01:35 PM

Remember the old song

When I was single I used a powder puff,
Now that I'm married I cannae afford the stuff.
It's a life, a life, a weary, weary life
It's better to be single than to be a married wife.