Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18]


BS: Rap for emperor

Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jan 17 - 06:16 AM
Rapparee 16 Jan 17 - 10:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jan 17 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 17 - 09:26 PM
keberoxu 17 Jan 17 - 03:51 PM
Jon Freeman 17 Jan 17 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 17 - 09:22 PM
keberoxu 21 Jan 17 - 04:18 PM
JennieG 21 Jan 17 - 05:22 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 17 - 10:27 PM
Ed T 21 Jan 17 - 10:59 PM
Severn 22 Jan 17 - 12:10 AM
JennieG 22 Jan 17 - 01:10 AM
Ed T 22 Jan 17 - 07:57 AM
keberoxu 22 Jan 17 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 17 - 09:25 AM
Severn 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 17 - 09:52 PM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 08:46 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 08:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 10:19 AM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:08 PM
JennieG 25 Jan 17 - 05:42 AM
keberoxu 31 Jan 17 - 02:52 PM
gnu 31 Jan 17 - 04:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 17 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM
Amos 31 Jan 17 - 10:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 17 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 17 - 07:46 PM
Ed T 02 Feb 17 - 09:02 AM
Ed T 02 Feb 17 - 09:04 AM
Ed T 02 Feb 17 - 09:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 17 - 11:47 AM
Ed T 02 Feb 17 - 12:34 PM
Amos 02 Feb 17 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 17 - 10:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 17 - 11:12 PM
JennieG 03 Feb 17 - 06:44 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 17 - 08:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 17 - 10:31 AM
JennieG 03 Feb 17 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 17 - 08:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Feb 17 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 17 - 07:50 PM
keberoxu 05 Feb 17 - 06:09 PM
keberoxu 07 Feb 17 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 17 - 11:40 AM
Richard Bridge 08 Feb 17 - 12:39 PM

Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:













Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jan 17 - 06:16 AM

I agree with the Imperial Torturer and All That Other Stuff. The mark (*) should be repurposed, not thrown on the dung heap. For one thing, it's so easy to type. Just three adjoining keys, no need to copy & paste, no HTML expertise required. But to what use could it be put?

Well, as previously noted, (*) looks a bit like the rear-end of a domestic house cat. It also resembles a person bending over to break wind. And, therein, I do believe, lies its utility.

It is, of course, unseemly for The Emperor to break wind. Therefore, just as He had an Imperial Whipping Boy to take His thrashings for Him as an Imperious Lad, He should have an Imperial Breaker of Wind to do His farting for Him.

Were our dear friend Catspaw still among us, the awarding of the mark (*) designating The Imperial Breaker of Wind would be what's sometimes referred to as a "no brainer". However, since Catspaw is gone and no other obvious candidate comes to mind, we humbly suggest the His Imperiousness reserve the Mark (*) until an Imperial Breaker of Wind can be designated.   

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 17 - 10:42 AM

Imperial Ignoramus, for the present We shall take your suggestion.

We do agree about the lamented Spaw, and today name him and his memory Imperial and Eternal Broke-Dick Mammalucce Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary Both With And Without Portfolio. His Mark, to be used by no one else besides Ourself and our EB-DMEaPBWaWP shall be and is

                  

and should any unauthorized person use this Mark s/he will be bloated by Our Imperial Torturer.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®      His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jan 17 - 03:31 PM

Your Imperial Majesty! I have it! The perfect candidate for the post of Imperial Breaker of Wind is (pregnant pause) Donald J. Trump!

Think about it.... His last name already means "fart" in some circles. His mark (*) has a picture of an asshole in it, and he certainly is one. He will be seeking new employment in a few months, after President Pence is inaugurated and his sons refuse to give his company back.

The only downside would be that he would need to be in close proximity to Your Imperial Majesty to perform his duties and the sight and sound of him may well be unbearable. But I'm sure the Imperial Torturer could come up with something to take care of that problem. As they say, "Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 17 - 09:26 PM

We shall seriously consider your suggestion, Imperial Ignoramus. There are certain aspects to it that appeal to Us.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®            His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Jan 17 - 03:51 PM

And just in time for an inauguration, at that.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 17 Jan 17 - 08:34 PM

I had considered this, Imperial Ignoramus but I did not feel it the place of a mere Churl who has forgotten his mark to offer this proposition.

As one who did live in other lands before (as has been noted) seeing the errors of past ways can confirm that "Trump" indeed is a term for this occurrence in the somewhat quaint inhabitance known as England.

On learning this subject has been raised and regarding the difficultly you express in that the said person may not be present when the gaseous materials are expelled, I beg to enquire whether the Imperial Emperor would have the preference to attribute this simply to a sign of strange winds (and possibly rumblings) from a foreign land?

This, I respectfully submit may also demonstrate to the populace, the good care the Imperial Emperor observes towards our protection from the possibly hostile thoughts of less enlightened nations.

Respectfully

Churl One


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 17 - 09:22 PM

Churl One, your Mark, granted to your by Our Exalted Self, is

                         (c/o)

for Churl/One. We will assign Marks to later churls as the need arises but most probably in numerical order.

We continue Our deliberations upon reassignment of the Mark (*).


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 04:18 PM

Jon Freeman, your earlier post about kitchen stinks has me scratching my head somewhat.
What is a kingdom without a scullery? And where else would you find the kitchen stink, if not in or near the scullery?
Surprised you haven't spotted it there...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 05:22 PM

Oh Great One, the events of the past days have set me thinking:

Are you going to have a coronation? If so, who would you consider to be a suitable person to place the crown on your Most Revered Head?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Raparee)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 10:27 PM

We quote Romans 13:

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.

Thus We find neither need nor occasion for a coronation, being already crowned by the Almighty.

And further, as King T'aejo wrote:


It is heaven which created all the people of the earth, who ordained their rulers, heaven which nurtured them to share life with each other, and heaven which governed them so as to enjoy peace with one another. There have been both good and bad rulers, and there have been times when people followed their rulers willingly and other times when they turned against them. Some have been blessed with the Mandate of Heaven and others have lost it. This is the principle that has remained constant.


We have not lost The Mandate of Heaven, and We willingly wear the burden which has been yoked to Our shoulders. No mortal crown could replace the one which has already been given Us, and so no coronation, no ceremony, could make Our rule more complete or more authoritative.

But We thank you for asking.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®       His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 10:59 PM

"The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown:
The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town.
Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown:
Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town." 
― Lewis Carroll


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Caveat for Empteror
From: Severn
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 12:10 AM

Beas wishes for a speedy and complete recovery to the Royal Spouse, Her Imperialositynessship and sorry about the ambiance of the ambulance from one who has ridden a few while marveling at the ceiling.....

Dies the Royal Speller cast spells or merely cast spellchecks? Sorry, but I've been gone for a spell, in fact, I hosted the annual Ms. Spelling Pageant, which that spoiled brat Tori won again by bribing the judges, even though she wrongly wrote Errant Spelling where it asked for her father's name.......

Your Empness, you ignore the fact that Jon is a Freeman by birth, and to keep such people out of the realm, you would have to erect a wall so strong that even Free Masons could not dis-Lodge, and they would be the only type that the treasury can afford these days. One possible solution would be to contact a splinter group that broke off from them (after trying and trying again), The Tall Seceders of Lebanon......

Yes, the coronation seems to have nearly evaporated, like so much milk. You'd have to add a lot of water and give a stirring speech.....

Since when did our leader become such a Marksist, grading us on our marks. If I have a choice, I'd request Mark Twain, that is if that twain hasn't left without me......

Let us all sing our leader's praises:

"Raparee, Rapper Rah
Rapper Rah,
Rapper Rah-ha-ha Hah-hah- hah,
Rappery, Rap her raw,
Who when he naps, sacks on his back....."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 01:10 AM

Fair enough, Sire.

But what about the Imperial Spouse, Her Most Gracious Highness the Princess Empress Patricia? Would she not like a tiara? I have one she can borrow, a gen-u-ine 1960s rhinestone number, quite a pretty thing.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 07:57 AM

Wearing a Tiara, an Emperor could feel like a queen for a day.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 03:34 PM

Severn, good to have you back. Not the same without you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:25 AM

No, no thank you, Imperial Torturer. She has her own, along with the shoulder-length kid gloves she wore as a young Lady growing up in Our district of the District of Columbia. You thought is kind, but it is not yet needed.

Which brings Us to the matter of Severn.

We do hereby and herein appoint Severn Our Imperial Twain and allowed to use the Mark

                      (±)

This Mark more or less denotes his qualities.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®      His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap 3 times 'n' say "Joe Sent Me"
From: Severn
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM

I give to Her Highness, the rare and coveted Tiara del Fuego. She's already living with the curse.....


OK, back to planning my radio show......



(_+_).....Hell, I'll figure it out. There must be some underline solution...."7%, right, Sherlock?"....

I like Mark Twain much better than Mark Trail. Thanks, Your Excellingcy andMarquis, as well


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:52 PM

We are certain you will, Imperial Twain. We suggest that you search for the character map in your computer.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 08:46 AM

Sire! I request, and, by your leave, shall be off to Your town of Springdale, NF to meet with DFO officers for a wee chat regarding their treatment of one of your subjects, a lad of a mere twelve years old, who was earning money to build an ice fishing shack by fishing and selling smelts in Your Gander Bay South, NF. Yes... Gander Bay South. THAT far away. Apparently, the loooonnng arm of the law matches the stupidity of these fisheries wardens. My evidence is hereby given.

Respectfully and sincerely,

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer, Our Imperial Typesetter, g (my mark*).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 08:59 AM

Go, and remind them that Our Imperial Torturer has some slack time now.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 10:19 AM

I was saddened at The Imperial Game Warden's tale of the young man arrested for selling smelts. It's totally unfair. It would be a different matter if he were touting trout, pawning prawns, swapping swai, hawking herrings, or some other form of obviously self-serving alliterative fishmongery. But selling smelts?

What? He was arrested by the Department of Fisheries and Oceans? Oh.... I thought he was busted by the Poetry Police.... Never mind.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM

Turns out I didn't have to go to The Granite Planet, The Rock, THE Island... twixt the internUt and some local good ol' b'ys, the situation has rectified itself. And I mean rectally... them there wardens been getting their asses kicked hell west and crooked!

Imagine... how did they not know they were doing something soooo stupid? Slow day or what? (In more than one sense.)

Maybe Sire needs to initiate an award system? The Stunnedasmearse Award?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:08 PM

We are pleased that those interfering malcontents, those who would persecute a youngster for doing good, have been corrected. We would would have been more pleased if the Imperial Torturer had been the one to correct them, but We assume that their bodies shan't be soon found.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®      His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 05:42 AM

Indeed they won't.

The waters of that part of our planet are deep and cold, and that which goes down seldom comes up again.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 02:52 PM

In my humble abode far from Pocatello, I heard reports of record snowfall in Rap's Imperial Territory, are these reports true?
Watching it snow on the East Coast today.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 04:26 PM

Sire, I must report new intel. Seems da fadder weren't so much an angel in all a this here stuff what went on eh? Dem fellahs from yer DFO was actually doin er jobs, wha? Here's the intel.

So. DFO whaddn't wrong and the kid whaddn't but the fadder got n arse kicked a wee tad on accounta DFO was doin n job as they should.

Oooooo.... me nerves!

No time for marks. I gotta serve supper.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 05:43 PM

Dear Emperor Most High,

It has come to my attention that a certain individual is entertaining imperial ambitions without having first studied the standard text of the trade, "Emperorship for Dummies". He has been ruling rashly and impulsively, not wisely and reasonably as plainly outlined in Chapter Two of the text. We beseech You to enter into counsel with this particular emperor wannabe and, perhaps, impart unto him a few pointers regarding how the job should be properly approached. Perhaps loan him Your copy of "Emperorship for Dummies" if necessary. And loan him a scribe to read it to him. We hear he hates reading anything over 140 characters in length.

He's easy to find. Just look for the guy with the elaborate orange comb-over, scowling countenance, and dismal job approval numbers.

Your Imperial assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated by myself and approximately six billion other persons.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM

Yes, Our territory has experienced a record fall of snow, 4.5 inches (11.43 cm) on January 25. For the month of January We have had 32.2 inches (81.79 cm), and so far this winter We have had 63.3 inches (160.78 cm) of snow. The current snow depth is 13.3 inches (33.78 cm). More snow is expected, as is rain, of which We have also had a record amount for this time of year. We believe that this will cause flooding, so We have alerted our Imperial responders. Of course, Our palace sits near the top of a hill, 4,800 feet (1,463.04 m) above sea level, so We do not expect flooding problems. However, such may be a problem for those in the lower depths.

Good gnu, please deal with matter as you see fit. We suggest that you refer those involved to Our Imperial Torturer if necessary.

Good Imperial Ignoramus, We sent him a copy of the tome you mentioned, as well as a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Emperoring. We also included some books on grooming and Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People as well as various popularity-enhancing guides to accordion and banjo playing.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®         His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 10:25 PM

While I would love to hear the Imperial Cheetoh play banjo, I have to demur as regards the appointment of Rapparree as Emperor. He has a long record of vocabulary snatching, shallow referential contortionism and (shudder) plagiarism. Anyone who doubts this need only read the full scope of the Mother of All BS thread, to which he has been a steadgast underhanded and shadow-poxed contributor.

Free yourselves from this heinous and slavish bondage, Mudcatters!! Rise up! Rise up!! DOwn with the Emperor!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 11:24 PM

Dear Mr. Amos,

Please be advised that Rapparee was not made Emperor by "appointment". An appointment is what one makes to see a doctor about a painful, burning sensation while urinating. Rapparee's elevation to Emperor was an act of divine Providence. And if you've ever met Providence, I'm sure you'll agree she is quite divine. She's probably the reason why Rapparee had to make the appointment to have that painful, burning sensation checked out.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 17 - 07:46 PM

We herein and herewith appoint and name Amos to be Our Imperial Naysayer. His mark shall be

                         ≠

and all correspondence from anyone or anything alleging to be him must bear this mark. His title shall henceforth be "Imperial Naysayer."


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®       His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 09:02 AM

"I have taken the liberty of quoting at length throughout from the gospels of the Emperor penguins. To them I owe a special debt of gratitude for their remarkable patience." 
― Donald Finke


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 09:04 AM

"Anyway, a bunch of penguins were living in a ceramic bowl of cold spaghetti noodles. There was no tomato sauce because it didn't exist yet, but that was okay. As the spaghetti was cold, moisture condensed upon it. This kept the spaghetti from sticking, or from sticking to the penguins, or the bowl. It also kept the penguins from sticking to the bowl, and from sticking to each other.
As I mentioned, tomato sauce did not exist yet. You should realize since this was a beginning, the moisture didn't either. Neither did the bowl. I think you can guess about the penguins. How could there be penguins if nothing existed yet?" 
― David S. Atkinson


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 09:13 AM

"But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink Floyd (the early Piper at the Gates of Dawn line up), scientific breakthroughs, spiritual revolution, utopian visions, zany nationalism that kills millions- wait, that's the bad kind." 
― Tim Dorsey


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 11:47 AM

Dear Emperor Rapparee,

If Ed T does not already have an Imperial title, please consider granting him one. Quoting Tim Dorsey is de facto proof of his weirdness worthiness.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 12:34 PM

"Almight father.
Please stop making jerks.
Amen"

Tim Dorsey


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 04:42 PM

I must gratefully decline Mister Rapparee's offer of a position in his soi-disant court; having given no credence to his existence in the self-styled imperious role, it would be entirely inconsistent and lacking in integrity to engage in dialogue predicated on such an imaginary identity.

I urge all Mudcatters to rise up and cast off the mantel imposed by this spurious will-of-the-wisp, and assert your free and independence minds! En bas L'Empereur!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 10:10 PM

Imperial Torturer, please attend to the Imperial Naysayer. We give you Our thanks.

Imperial Ignoramus, We are considering your suggestion.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®         His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 17 - 11:12 PM

I'm sure the Imperial Naysayer will change his mind when he learns of the generous compensation package that comes along with being a titled member of Emperor Rapparee's court.

That's right, everyone gets cute little bags of sand with currency symbols printed on them! Pretty impressive, huh? I use mine for doorstops.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 06:44 AM

Imperial Sire, please forgive my recent absences. Last week the Imperial Oubliette suffered an almighty flood in the kitchen and living rooms, causing carpet to have to be taken up and removed, bookshelves emptied and discarded because of water damage and mould, the possible removal of all (quite a large area, believe me) the kitchen/family room tiles and now your humble Torturer and Spouse are facing the possibility of having to have an entire kitchen gutted and removed.

As a result the Imperial Torturer and Spouse are facing the possibility that the cinematic epic of Ben Hur may be surpassed by this catastrophe.

Rest assured, Sire, that the Imperial Oubliette will be up and running again as soon as possible. We just don't know when that will be.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 08:53 AM

Imperial Torturer, may We suggest that the Imperial Naysayer be put to work on your problems? You then could, as they say, kill two birds with one stone, or at least whip him into shape.

You do have Our Imperial Sympathy, as even We have experienced such catastrophes in the past. Have you contacted your insurance agent? Let Us know if you have and nothing is done, as We could bring certain pressures to bear.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®       His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 10:31 AM

I also am distressed to hear of the damage to the Imperial Oubliette. In an attempt to brighten the spirits of the Imperial Torturer and Assorted and Sundry Other Things, I have composed this little song, to be sung to the tune of "Ain't She Sweet".

Note: "Oubliette" is a word of French origin.   Considering that French is the laziest language in the world, and that it's often impossible to find any correspondence between how a word is written and how it is pronounced, "oubliette" is probably pronounced by native speakers of French as something like "uh-bluh".   But for the purposes of this song, we shall pronounce it "oo-blee-ett". Okay?

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Oubliette
It's so dingy dank and wet
Have you ever seen a place as creepy as
Oubliette

Oubliette
If you haven't been there yet
There's a few surprises waiting for you at
Oubliette

Just take a look at what's around you
The rats and fleas, they will astound you

Oubliette
It's as bad as it can get
And we hope that you enjoy your stay in our
Oubliette

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 04:35 PM

Thank you for your good thoughts, Imperial Sire - yes, the insurance company are onto it. We are keeping them up to the mark with the occasional glimpse into the Refined Torture Chamber.

Imperial Ignoramunuss, thank you for lightening the load of our current stress! Last year I myself personally arranged a setting of this song (together with "Five foot two, eyes of blue" about a miscreant who used to be six foot three and have eyes of brown) for ukulele, so shall teach it to the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble forthwith.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 08:50 PM

We are pleased, Imperial Ignoramus.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®       His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 17 - 06:33 PM

It has come to my attention that all the really big guns in emperordom and such have appellations appended to their names. Peter the Great, Ivan the Terrible, Jabba the Hut, Wanko the Sane, etc. Why does our Emperor Rapparee not have a similar appellation? Should we have a contest to see who comes up with the best name?

Personally, I think "Rapparee the Learned" would be nice. But what do I know? I'm just a lowly ignoramus. And anyway, I only suggested that one because something like "Rapparee the Insipid" or "Rapparee the Flatulent" might provoke the Imperial Ire.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 17 - 07:50 PM

We agree, lowly Imperial Ignoramus. We have long preferred "Dominus et Deus Meus" but some have objected to Latin.

Therefore, be it known that We have this day affirmed a contest as suggested by the Imperial Ignoramus. The contest will end at midnight Mudcat Time, Saturday, February 11, A.D. 2017.

There will be various rewards, all fitting.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®         His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Feb 17 - 06:09 PM

Hoping that Your imperial Spouse Patricia is feeling better under the ministrations of the Imperial Barber/Chirurgeon since returning home.
I thought of her when I fell in the library parking lot, squarely on the knee with a pre-existing bone bruise. Since when the knee has been uncommonly colorful. I hope Patricia's hematoma is history already.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Feb 17 - 02:34 PM

Your Rapness? Are you two doing better now?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 17 - 11:40 AM

We thank you for your concern. Our Imperial Spouse, who returned home last evening from Our province of Indiana, is on her way to have her hand injuries further evaluated after she has a follow-up mammogram (requested by Our Imperial Chirurgeon). Her knee injuries are being treated with warm, moist heat and she will have another examination shortly.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 Feb 17 - 12:39 PM

400


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate


Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 25 November 7:56 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.