BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: GUEST,Mrr-sans-cookie again
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 05:10 PM

Kendall, that is hysterical. Anyone remember the root of the word Hysterical?

I also go by whoever invites, pays, gender-neutral. But that is what we used to do when already IN relationships - but it sounds like a good general rule to me...

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter T.
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 05:11 PM

Lines to end a date with, so the other person will not be hoping to hear from you again (male to female):

"Tomorrow I have a date with General Pershing."

"Now those Afghans seem to be on to something, don't you think?"

"Would any of your two other sisters have smaller feet perchance?"

"Hobbies? Yes, I have this knife-throwing act which is only missing one thing. That's a joke. Missing one thing, get it!!!"

"There is no trick. You just don't mind the pain." (need a candlelit dinner for this one)

"I had a dress like that once."

"INCOMING!!!!"

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: GUEST,Mrr-groaning
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 05:14 PM

OOh, Peter - I laughed at a Taliban reference! Shame on me, but how funny! I also like the penultimate, especially from man to woman...

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 10:19 PM

Gosh, Liz. You hung around long enough to let it dry? There must be more to this story.

My nephew's intended vomited on him and several other family members upon meeting his family for the first time in a restaurant. They're still together. so much for the "No Vomiting" rule.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 10:25 PM

Kendall, its a good idea not for you to try to pay with your penis unless you're only having Moon Pie.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: JenEllen
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 10:29 PM

LOL Peter! Save the best for last....

A friend set me up on a blind date once, the gentleman (LOOSE definition) had a baseball cap lined with tinfoil... so the aliens and the FBI couldn't read his brain-waves. They were also trying to sterilize him, so his shorts were lined with foil as well. I didn't stick around long enough for a look at THAT!!

All else fails, tell 'em you've got cramps....

~Elle

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Alice
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 11:01 PM

dating?.... men?.... where?..... I think I've been stuck in Montana too long.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 11:19 PM

I thought Montana was one of those places where women have beards too....

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 11:50 PM

Stuck in Montana, Alice? Let's get you stuck in California.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 11:51 PM

Think you could do the same for me, CR?

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Jul 00 - 11:54 PM

Except the men shave their body hairs down in Cali....

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:37 AM

Ohmygawd, did THAT come out wrong. I meant stuck as in permanently moved to California as opposed to stuck in Montana. Realized how that sounded after I clicked submit.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:21 AM

Looking for men in Montana? I was told all you had to do was go to the side of the road and shout "BAAAAAAA"....

~Elle (giggling at the thought of chantey sticking Mbo...)

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:30 AM

Well, Alice, you'd be very welcome in California. Don't pay any attention to that Chanteyranger fellow, though. I was here first...
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:52 AM

Hey, Elle, what do you think, will their feet have to be surgically removed from their mouths (like mine was tonight) or can we just use a hefty prybar to pop them loose?

Amergin

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 03:44 AM

I've created a monster. Well, JenEllen, if you could steer Mbo towards those Montana sheep, I'll feel alot safer. While I'm busy removing my foot from my mouth - Mbo, give my regards to Mblarry and Mbcurly.

-chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 08:44 AM

Actually, Mbo has taken to vacuum cleaners.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 08:46 AM

Watch yer step, Shakespeare-boy.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 09:10 AM

As part of the policy of diversification practiced by the NYCFTTS we announce our new personalised introduction agency. To launch it we have fixed MattMbo and Cap'n Kendall a double date with a couple of ex-cheerleaders called Buffy and Brittany and await the feedback questionnaires with interest. A couple of tips guys: don't mention the ELO, Matt and, Cap'n, keep your teeth in at dinner, even if the steak is tough.
RtS pp Catspaw (CEO and Founder, NYCFTTS ("Your Problem is our Profit")

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 09:19 AM

Rog, I'm gonna have to drop outta that one. Like I say in my song,
When other girls & chances try to lead my heart astray
From the golden road of your love,
I walk away, and leave them behind
Because I'd rather close my eyes and see you inside me mind...

--Matt

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 10:27 AM

Oh, by the way Alice, you wouldn't be interested in Joe. I'm really, really a much much much more emotionally mature person than he is.

chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Allan C.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 10:32 AM

Well, cr, knowing Alice as I do, I can safely say that she would have little interest in someone who would say such a thing. But she would be too polite to say so. And knowing Joe as I do, I think you would have a lot to learn from him.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 10:40 AM

Very big grin on my comment about Joe, Allan. (the joke being the immature nature of my comment)

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Allan C.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 10:45 AM

It is difficult to see facial expressions no matter how hard I squint.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: bbelle
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 11:33 AM

When I moved to Alaska, several friends commented that I would come back to the lower 48 married, because the ratio of men to women is 17 to one. What I discovered, after much research, is this:

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

It works in other places, too.

moonchild

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:26 PM

Mbo,
You have taunted us with references to this mysterious lady long enough. Out with it! Who is she? Where did you meet her? Does she have a good job and good prospects? Uncle Spaw will want to check her out to make sure she is good enough for our Mbo. Musician? Dancer? I see you with some ethereal giselle wrapped in gauzy tutus. Does she have all her teeth? And all her marbles? Say "Shut up, Mary" when you've had enough.
Mary (shutting up)

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:36 PM

Well Sins......I can hardly wait myself. I've never seen a sheep in a tutu.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:43 PM

I tell you, Spaw, they look very inviting with that tutu on...I tell you the ewe was begging for it...she was dressed like she wanted it...and she did...I know that in her heart she really desired it....sometimes baaaaa means yes...

Amergin

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:53 PM

Gone from foot in your mouth to hoof-n-mouth, eh Amer? LOL From a professional standpoint, I can't condone that kind of behavior, but as a compassionate kind of gal, I have to say 'Whatever gets ya through the winter...'

Mary, the mystery gal is no mystery. I think I can vouch that she has all her teeth, and is a dreamboat. The kid done allright.....

....of course, that now leaves Kendall with TWO cheerleaders....

~Elle

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:55 PM

Well, I see we have thoroughly digressed... Still nothing from foreigners dating Americans, though, more's the pity! That's what I need to hear about...

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 12:57 PM

Ignore them Mbo.

I just don't understand how we always end up discussing farm animals or flatulance. None of this is helpful to Mrrzy - at least I hope not.

Mrrzy,
I believe the Golden rule is the single most important one even in the world of dating. Treat him with the same respect you expect and it will be fine.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Max
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:02 PM

OK, here's my scoop. I was committed to my wife since I was 17 years old, married at 20, divorced at 28. I am single for the first time in my adult life, and boy is this interesting. I've learned a lot in the last 10 months, and here are a few tidbits I picked up.

Rebounds last 8 months.

If you meet somebody and exchange numbers, call in 2 days or don't call at all.

Don't pick anyone up in a bar. If you do happen to meet somebody intriguing in a bar, find out where they work or where they go for fun etc. and try/hope to run into them again in a more appropriate venue.

On first dates, honesty is key.

Be yourself, you wouldn't want anyone to fall for a character you've created. You'll tire of the charade.

Ask questions to compel your date to talk about him/herself. No one wants to talk too much about themselves, so present them with an invitation to do so and everyone wins. Ask women about their fathers, and men about their mothers. This will offer info on how your relationship may go.

If you are dating more than one person, make sure they are in different routines. If one person likes to pop in on you to say hi, make sure the other doesn't. Never take a different person to the same place as another for a date. Make sure they call before coming over.

No sex on the first date. Unless it's also the last date, then you might as well get laid.

You are as attractive and interesting to others as you are to yourself. YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE YOURSELF TO BE LOVABLE.

Don't date outside yourself. I drink and smoke, I would have serious reservations dating a health nut jogger.

Everyone wants the same thing. It seems that the ingredients to get to the next level, an actual relationship, is… Good Sex and Good Conversation. For those A-Sexual Mudcatters, you can substitute Good Love or Good Snuggles or something.

The point is to have fun.

Well, that's all for now, though I could probably spend all day… If I have offended anyone, I just hope I have offended all genders equally.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:04 PM

Well Mrrzy, I'm not exactly sure where your problem lies on this one. I don't really feel comfortable lumping all Americans into one group, because regionally, folks are pretty culturally diverse. What may go in one area, might not go in another. You know, one person's sheep is another person's first-cousin....

Are you looking to just join the dating pool or do you have a specific someone in mind? For the dating pool, I suggest just doing things you already like to do, and get in on the 'friend of a friend' angle. You will meet people that share the same interests, so regardless of romantic involvement you still have friends.

If there is that one special one, go ASK. Go out for coffee and talk, see if personality works out. I'm pretty straightforward, and don't really have any problem asking what I want to know. I've also not had any complaints about it, so I travel under the assumption that it's okay.

Also, don't squint. When you give up looking too hard, there's no telling what you'll find....

~Elle

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Bert
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:07 PM

Uh Oh! DougR is on the market gals. Go gettim;-)

Someone is going to snap you up real quick Doug.

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Allan C.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:09 PM

Also remember what Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge".

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:12 PM

Elle, don't even get me started on cousins...after spending some time with them, one would get rather (shall we say) "close"....

Mrrzy, just be yourself and don't play games. It tends to piss people off when folks play headgames....

Amergin

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:19 PM

Thanks Elle.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 01:24 PM

Well Max has summed up some real world stuff for you Mrrzy and since the thread is back on track..........

After two long term relationships while in my 20's, I was just enjoying the life I had. As a rep and manger for a biggie, I was on the road constantly for almost ten years and my relationship with the opposite sex was pretty well relegated to the girls at the home office, the branch administrators, and a long line of one-nighters. I'm frankly ashamed to some degree that a lot of these women would be unrecognizable to me in the morning......and probably me to them also. In short, I'd given up ever finding the mate that I had expected I would find many years before. I had one cardinal rule. NEVER accept a blind date from some well meaning "matchmaker."

So.......Being ill and generally feeling awful, I had just finished a training session and one of the new hires walked in and said, "Pat, how would you like to meet a nice girl?" I was too tired to argue and after a few futile stabs at it, gave up and arranged to meet this "nice girl" on Thursday evening.

Everybody here knows the story. The nice girl was Karen and I proposed to her almost immediately. She is the greatest and best thing that ever happened in my life. So much for rules..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Alice
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:06 PM

Mrrzy, I'll second what Elle wrote. Americans are not stereotypes. No population of a country really fits stereotypes when you meet individual people. I don't know what part of the US you are in, but I am sure if you've traveled around a bit, you will find that the country is so large that it has cultural differences, customs, history, ethnic groups, etc., in every different city, state and region. Don't think of it as being so different than anywhere else you have lived. Maybe this is the stumbling block for you. Just look for situations and places where you will meet people with similar values, interests, and goals that you have. Volunteer for something you care about, join a club you are interested in, realize that when you are involved in life and not looking like you are seeking a relationship, that is when you are most likely to attract someone who will value you for who you are. The only "rules" there are about dating are the rules you make for yourself. Hopefully that includes things that will help you avoid people who will damage you in any way, and will lead you to people who will cherish, respect, and love you, either as a friend or something more. My 2¢.

Alice

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Dharmabum
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:19 PM

RULES? RULES? NOBODY TOLD ME THERE WERE RULES! I've recently found myself living among the single again. Although I'm not quite ready yet to jump into the dating pool,I don't find the idea all that intimidating. Personaly,I find it takes way too much effort to be any one other than myself. Honesty & acceptance, at least for me, are the two biggies. We all have our little flaws,if I expect someone to accept mine,I need to do the same for them. One of the biggest pitfalls I see couples fall into is one or both trying to change the other. If it was the wrong color, why'd ya buy it in the first place? In any case ,I wish all of you single folks & retreads the best of luck. Don't worry about any damn rules,just do whatever your heart tells you. Just remember, the prize is'nt always in the place your looking.

Ron.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:21 PM

Max, GREAT advice, especially about the First Date! And all else, I need to hedge what I mean by "my experience with Americans" to avoid insulting anyone in particular. I agree with Max on that, let's at least be fair about it. However, since my firm can map keystrokes, this will have to wait till I get home!

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: kendall
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:32 PM

Good advice coming from a kid, Max!!

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 02:49 PM

Having dated Americans (I am a Canadian so I count as a foreigner), here are 7 important rules:

1. Always use a British accent if you have one. This makes them feel as if they are on Masterpiece Theatre or dating Prince Andrew. It does not matter if it is Cockney or Liverpudlian. They have no idea.

2. When at dinner, avoid sentences like: "Is the reason Americans are all so fat the huge portions they serve here?"

3. Do not, under any circumstances wince when they tell you that "knock you up" does not mean the same in America as it does elsewhere, as if this is brand new news.

4. Do not challenge them to find your home country on a map. Even a map with the names firmly written on them in large letters. This can ruin a really good evening.

5. Do not go and see a film from your home country with them on your first date, because you think it would be cute. If your home country is non-English speaking, wait at least until you are engaged to do this. One of you will invariably say something moronic about the other person's country, or bring up something that happened 200 years ago for which neither of you are to blame.

6. Avoid the following subjects: O.J. Simpson (#1), Waco (#2), the beauty queen kid who was murdered by her parents in Colorado but have never been arrested (#3), Monica Lewinsky (#4), Elian's Miami relatives (#5) or any other similar figure that tempts you to start a sentence beginning: "Are all Americans like..."?

7. ABOVE ALL STAY AWAY FROM THE FOLLOWING TWO WORDS: "GREEN CARD".

These may be more along the specific lines you are seeking, Mrrzy.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 03:21 PM

Just jumped in on this thread, after avoiding it for a while -- slow day, I guess. I'm an American male who divorced after 14 years of marriage, and has been very happily married to his "rebound" for almost three years. It works for me.

Honesty seems to be the most consistent theme in this thread. I'll go along with that; the last thing you want to do is attract someone by pretending to be something other than yourself, and then be scared that he or she will discover the truth. Keep in mind that the kind of fish you catch depends on the kind of bait you use (wasn't there a song about that?). If you are honest in your dealings with people, you will attract others who value honesty. If you are false or superficial, you will attract others who are false or superficial. Speaking for myself only (I can't claim to the the Universal American), I find nothing so attractive as honesty, intelligence, creativity of thought and action, and a sense of humor. And I would never think badly of a prospective mate who confessed to being sexually attracted to me (although she might get a few points knocked off on the "intelligence" scale). Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 03:37 PM

ROTFLMAO! How do you KNOW you're an American? When Peter's last post is more offensive than the thought of Meebs and sheep.....ya really need to quit browsing in the bargain bins, Pete!

Max has the right idea, and it sounds neutral to gender or country of origin, just be patient. Why not incorporate your previous style of dating to the area you are in now? A group of friends is still a group of friends, regardless of which side of the pond you are on.

~Elle

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 03:47 PM

I can't figure out why my cookie has disappeared or why the above posts were blank.

About the thread: What's a good waiting period following divorce? Any general rules?

bflat

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 04:04 PM

Karen's Dad (Jim) went on a vacation to Costa Rica where he fell in love with a Costa Rican woman. Neither of them sould speak the other's language. They married and were together for 12 years gefore her death. Neither ever learned the other language.

There's a moral or something here..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: kendall
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 06:21 PM

I was married to two women who claimed to speak my language, but, we still didnt understand each other.

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 06:29 PM

Here's one for you, kendall.

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone

Then I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 06:49 PM

Is that the film where they drown the cat in a rain barrel at the end? Always liked that part.
yours, Peter T.