Subject: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:02 PM I have a penchant for funny songs and this is one I heard on the radio some weeks back. It won't leave me alone which means I'll have to learn it. It is a parody of "Will The Circle Be Unbroken" and is the story of a turtle falling out of an apartment window. Anyone have the lyrics? It isn't in the DT. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: WyoWoman Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM I have the same problem with a parody I heard to "Hard Times Come Again No More." I loved that song, but now I can't get the parody out of my mind. I haven't heard the turtle song, and something tells me I'd better not ... ww |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Turtle Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:25 PM Gosh, I've never heard this one, but I must say I have a personal interest in the outcome! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: sophocleese Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:26 PM We had a request for the turtle song awhile ago. I think, but I am not sure, that the author cited for it was Les Barker. Try a forum search and you may find the thread. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:40 PM I did the forum search and found a thread from December 1999 with the exact same name as this one. And guess what! The Mudcat community failed to find the lyrics! So let's try again! |
Subject: Lyr Add: WILL THE TURTLE BE UNBROKEN? (Les Barker) From: Morticia Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:44 PM WILL THE TURTLE BE UNBROKEN Les Barker
I have bought a small apartment
There I live with my friend Myrtle
She was standing at my window
Will the turtle be unbroken
I ran downstairs, I was crying
Will the turtle be unbroken
Was she sundered into sections
Will the turtle be unbroken
Oh caretaker, poor caretaker
And the turtle was unbroken
Undertaker, undertaker
Yes the turtle was unbroken |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Morticia Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:45 PM Thats cos I must have missed that thread....... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: jeffp Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:53 PM Thanks, Morty! That's hysterical! jeffp |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bert Date: 14 Aug 00 - 01:53 PM OWWW! Well done Tish, I'm gonna HAVE to learn that one. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 14 Aug 00 - 03:38 PM Thank you Morticia! You are talented, beautiful and have big hearted! Here's a snog for you! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 14 Aug 00 - 03:40 PM That should read "You are talented, beautiful, and big hearted!" The snog stands unchanged! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Morticia Date: 14 Aug 00 - 05:23 PM Well, thank you :)I'm merely transcribing from Les Barker but snogs right back at you :) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Aug 00 - 06:20 PM Surely the snogs should be directed at Les, Morty gets more than her fair share. I'm a blast AND a national treasure, but I've never had a snog...... If you need someone to pass the snogs to Les, I'm more than happy to oblige.... LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Helen Date: 14 Aug 00 - 07:42 PM There was a Michael Parkinson programme on Oz tv last weekend where he was interviewing Billy Connolly & David Attenborough. They talked about an area in Greece where eagles pick up tortoises and fly really high with them and drop them to break open the shells. Apparently Archimedes or someone told a story about having just missed being killed by a falling tortoise. The uncanny Mudcat timing is working again. Helen |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Morticia Date: 14 Aug 00 - 08:35 PM And I'm re-reading Small Gods by Terry Pratchett which has the same theme.....although quite a lot more humour. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: ol'troll Date: 14 Aug 00 - 08:42 PM Pratchett RULES!!! troll |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Art Thieme Date: 14 Aug 00 - 10:28 PM I had thought Studs Turtle wrote that song!? Art Thieme |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,Hutzul Date: 15 Aug 00 - 03:19 AM Can this song have inspired the frog scene in "Magnolia" |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Chicky Date: 15 Aug 00 - 03:22 AM Uncanny Mudcat timing indeed, Helen! The same weekend as the Parkinson program you mentioned, Radio National (Sydney) played an interview with a zoo vet describing the difficulties in doing an autopsy on one of their Galapagos turtles. Noone had any idea how to get INTO the damn thing!
cheers |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 15 Aug 00 - 05:29 AM Liz - I'd like to be thought of as an equal opportunity snogger but I've never tried to snog a national treasure! I didn't know if I could weave my way between the hulking bodyguards to deliver it. So, taking a chance on bodily injury, here is a big wet slobbery snog for Liz the Squeak! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Helen Date: 15 Aug 00 - 07:54 PM Think "turtle" = think "Pratchett" Helen |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bert Date: 16 Aug 00 - 05:19 PM Helen, I though it was Aeschyllus who was killed by a turtle dropped by an eagle. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Morticia Date: 16 Aug 00 - 07:07 PM nope, it was Vorbis |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bert Date: 16 Aug 00 - 07:13 PM Oh! OK. My source was somewhat suspect. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Crowhugger Date: 16 Aug 00 - 11:55 PM Golly gee, it looks like I've missed out on a pinnacle of culture. Who or what is Pratchett? CH. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Helen Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:00 AM Bert, David Attendborough couldn't remember who it was - he mentioned a famous ancient Greek - it might even have been Aeschyllus. It was just a passing reference, so I don't know any more details. CH, If you enjoy reading fantasy/SciFi or humourous fiction then Terry Pratchett is well worth checking out. His nearest literary comparison could be Douglas Adams - Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The Discworld series is based on a world which balances on the back of a giant turtle in space. Helen |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Aug 00 - 06:01 AM Loathe though I am to disagree with Bert (*BG) The Britannica Online says in it's bit on Aeschylus: The chronographers recorded Aeschylus' death at Gela (on Sicily's south coast) in 456/455, aged 69. A ludicrous story that he was killed when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his bald pate was presumably fabricated by a later comic writer. At Gela he was accorded a public funeral, with sacrifices and dramatic performances held at his grave, which subsequently became a place of pilgrimage for writers. RtS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Aug 00 - 06:06 AM I can't believe I put an apostrophe in its> I must go off and say ten Hail Bessie Smiths and three Our Robert Johnsons in penance. RtS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Aug 00 - 05:04 PM Naemeson or whoever it was, consider the bodyguards removed (he wasn't much good at it anyway, what with the seeing eye dog and alll.....) Thank you, I have been snogged, I can go happy to the chocolate factory in the sky... LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 17 Aug 00 - 05:13 PM Liz, don't bother with the chocolate factory in the sky. Come, instead, to the Chocolate Church! Join the Holy Order Of Pure Milk Chocolate. Worship the Dark Side (of the) Chocolate Bar. Be sprinkled with the Holy Chocolate Milk to be baptized into the sweet light of daily M&M's. When you step up to the bar at the Chocolate Church you have something you can really get your teeth into. And on top of all that we feature folk music! Don't you wish you lived closer? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: wildlone Date: 17 Aug 00 - 05:39 PM For Parodies and bawdy or even filthy songs try this site http://members.aol.com/llewtrah/index.htm Cut and paste |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Helen Date: 17 Aug 00 - 07:51 PM Roger-t-s, You're suffering from apostrophitis. It's a very common disease, and highly contagious. I know! As a former English teacher, and having worked as a trainer/teacher of business & management subjects at colleges & University I have seen this terrible disease reaching plague proportions over the years. There seems to be no cure, and unlike yourself, most of the sufferers don't seem to care. When I talk about apostophes in class their eyes glaze over and they go into denial, start compulsively talking about any other thing they can think of until I have to give up hope and try to stop worrying about it. *BG* By the way, Attenborough said that the person was *nearly* killed by a falling tortoise - not actually killed. Helen |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bert Date: 18 Aug 00 - 01:02 PM Re Aeschylus: Well as I said my source was somewhat suspect. I read it in an article by Chuck Jones (The Bugs Bunny guy) in the square dance magazine Sets in Order many, many years ago. Not necessarily an accurate historical document. But it's a good story. Bert. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Fortunato Date: 18 Aug 00 - 02:32 PM Well Squeak and Morticia, what's a snog? (and do I want one as well?) Fortunato |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Peter T. Date: 18 Aug 00 - 03:49 PM Help: "The turtle lives twixt plated decks, Which serve to conceal its sex I think it _________ For the turtle, in such a fix, to be so fertile. This is an Ogden Nash poem, and I cannot for the life of me remember the missing word. Anybody else with turtles on the brain (the good version of turtles on the brain). I keep think the word is "odd", but with Nash it should perhaps rhyme with "fix". Maybe there is a line missing. Help please. yours, Peter T. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Aug 00 - 03:53 PM A snog - according to Rogers Profanosaurus - is to swap spit, tongue wrestle or play tonsil hockey. I think from this we can determine that it is a big slobbery kiss.... LTS |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bert Date: 18 Aug 00 - 03:57 PM Peter, It goes...I think it clever of the turtle |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,lamarca Date: 18 Aug 00 - 03:59 PM Peter, my husband recites this one periodically when we see large conventions of turtles basking in the sun on our walks along the C&O Canal. I'm not completely sure, but I think the line is:
I think it clever of the turtle |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Bernard Date: 18 Aug 00 - 05:15 PM A bloke went to a fancy dress party (costume ball?), all dressed in green, carrying his girlfriend on his back. 'What have you come as?' asked the genial host. 'A turtle!' he replied. 'Who is she?' 'Michelle!' |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Micca Date: 19 Aug 00 - 06:01 AM Someone sang the song in Hearme last night and hasnt owned up in the Hearme thread yet!! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Naemanson Date: 19 Aug 00 - 09:03 AM It was me, Micca. I stumbled through Turtle last night. Thread Creep - By the way, Turtle was my nickname in Boot Camp (Basic Military Training). Anyone else have a turtle related nickname or personal story?
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,Pete (Offshore) Date: 23 Aug 04 - 12:44 PM 1.While crawling across the web,in search of a copy of Rogers Profanosaurus,I spotted the link to this page... Holders of a copy of Rogers may be pleased to know that Viz celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. Those of you not familiar with this work of genius,should ask Helen for some issues she no doubt confiscated from pimply youths and kept for her own amusement. 2.As a former drill instuctor in the army,the turtle referred to in the previous post has the uncanny ability to swing a left arm forwards along with the left foot,instead of the usual manner of perambulation,diagonally opposing limbs. 3."Loggerhead turtles favour eating jellyfish,often mistaking floating plastic bags,with fatal consequences.." (WWF) href="http://www.wwf.org.uk/core/wildlife/fs_0000000025.asp">http://www.wwf.org.uk/core/wildlife/fs_0000000025 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:56 PM The turtle joke of 18 Aug above is now a Cougar (booze) ad in Australia! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Sandy Mc Lean Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:44 PM A friend of mine got this song from barker at Stanfest a couple of years ago . I was going to get the words from her but you saved me the trouble. Thanks! Sandy |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Oct 04 - 07:53 PM Well, it's happened, in Hong Kong - ten stories, and the turtle survived and the taxi was dented - read all about it here. The turtle does look a bit the worse for wear, but they say it'll survive, and be set free, since skyscraper life clearly isn't what it prefers. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Oct 04 - 04:56 AM The Discworld is NOT carried on the back of a turtle, that would be far too ridiculous! It is perched on the back of four elephants. THEY are balancing on top of the turle. The turtle is called Great A'Tuin, but doesn't answer when called(do any of 'em?). |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 Oct 04 - 11:51 AM That Hong Kong kamikaze flier looks more like what I'd call a tortoise. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: GUEST,Van Date: 17 Oct 04 - 02:28 PM No it looks like a turtle - but it cerainly wasn't unbroken! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 Oct 04 - 02:37 PM I believe in the USA you use the word "turtle" to refer to what would be called a "tortoise" in England. From this story it looks as if in Hong Kong the American usage prevails. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Will The Turtle Be Unbroken? From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 17 Oct 04 - 02:39 PM Oh my god - how did I get in here? |
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