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Non Music: Update on my Twins
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Subject: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Wesley S Date: 05 Sep 00 - 06:03 PM A lot of people were nice enough to ask for an update when we had more news so here goes : Last friday my wife Bretta and I went in for an ultrasound. She had the ultrasound I was just along as an observer. After letting us know that both babies were of normal weight and size for their age { due date Feb 7th } he asked us if we wanted to know the gender of our kids. We said yes. He said he was very confident that both of them were boys. Now we know how to decorate the babies room. Actually my wife knows how to do it. I'm just going to say "Yes, dear" a lot. As you can imagine we're thrilled and excited. We didn't care about gender as long as both children have one and have all of their fingers , toes, ect. Especially the ects. Those are so important nowadays. I'm looking forward to the challenges that being a father entails. I'm especially concerned with bringing up boys. I don't want get on a rant but I think a lot of societies problems start with the "boys will be boys" mentality. I want to raise my boys to be caring, generious, unbigoted, sensitive men who aren't afraid of emotions, bullies, or their own capabilities. I think it's a tough job to bring up kids today reguardless of gender. I hope I know how to install good values in a child but you don't get a lot of help from the media. Oh well. The air is getting a little thin up here on my soapbox. Thanks in advance for your good wishes and please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It's still early yet. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mbo Date: 05 Sep 00 - 06:06 PM Congratulations, Wes, I know you'll be an excellent pa! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Sorcha Date: 05 Sep 00 - 06:14 PM All you can do is try, Wes. Good luck, and have fun with your babies. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Wesley S Date: 05 Sep 00 - 06:19 PM OOPS - I left out one little thing - their NAMES. Our boys will be called Brendan James and Patrick Tate. The middle names are for family members. I thought the brain dead portion of my life came AFTER the babies were born and I was deprived of sleep. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: katlaughing Date: 05 Sep 00 - 06:36 PM Oh, that is wonderful! Just what my daughter and her husband had a little over two years ago. Wesley, Feb. will be here sooner than you know, but you are already off to a fine start. Showing them by example is the best you can do. Congratulations! kat |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Sep 00 - 07:21 PM Great news Wes!!! Although I think I would have gone with names like Frick and Frack or Hey and No.....although there'll be time for those later. Now that you know they're boys, you'll be able to sign them up on the Kiddie NRA site and get their guns ordered right away!! (Happy for you man) Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Naemanson Date: 05 Sep 00 - 07:45 PM Good on you Wes! Enjoy the coming years for it will be over all too quickly. It won't seem like that at 3:00 AM but trust me it will. One of mine is in college now and the other will be following her in a couple of years. I'd be a little carful of the sensitivity training if I were you. I'm finding that the women I know all want outlaws. They talk a good game that they want to be treated as full equals in society but when it comes down to it they run after the guys who treat them like dirt. So teach them to be mean if you want grand kids! *BG*
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mbo Date: 05 Sep 00 - 07:50 PM You're right Brett, and it's a sad state this world is in, where are the good guys want to give love, but all the women are afraid of anything that hints of intense romantic feelings. Alas for the old days! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: SINSULL Date: 05 Sep 00 - 08:48 PM Sorry guys. We can't help ourselves. Just can't resist those bad boys. Wesley, Love them, respect them, and enjoy them. And get all the rest you possibly can between now and February. Mary |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Naemanson Date: 05 Sep 00 - 08:57 PM Hey, Mbo, let's open up a school to teach the good boys how to be bad! We can enroll Wes's two boy right off the bat! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mbo Date: 05 Sep 00 - 09:14 PM One o' my favorite songs, by Sir Paul & The Space Cowboy
I used to be bad
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 05 Sep 00 - 09:27 PM Wesley, my father was such a proud Grandpa of my twin boys. When any of his friends were bragging about becoming a Grandpa, he would say, "Oh...just one?" Good luck and enjoy every moment. Remember to follow your instincts. Sounds like you're doing great so far. Mary PS I like the names. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Ebbie Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:19 PM Wes, in a touch off 'Explaining the Unexplained', start now talking to your babies, calling them by name. I'm told, seemingly reliably, that they will know their names upon arrival. At the very least, it can do no harm and it is a thrilling thought, indeed. So happy for you.
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: CarolC Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:29 PM Congratulations, and good luck. You've gotten some great advice on this thread. As the mother of a 17 year old son, I would only add one thing. Lots and Lots of food. Just keep feeding them. They'll turn out great. Best wishes, Carol (who preferrs "nice" men) |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Susan from California Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:32 PM Don't just talk to them, SING to them also! It will pay off when They are cranky, they will already recognize the songs! (Really, they will!) If your wife is carrying twins, your aforementioned phrase of "Yes, dear" should go a loooooooong way! Congrats, and sleep while you can. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Uncle Jaque Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:47 PM Wesley: Sounds to me like your heart is in the right place, Lad, and you, your Lady, and your bairnies shall be a wonderous Blessing to one another. One source of encouragemant, support, and practical resources for the Parent of Faith which i have long held significant respect for, is Dr. James DOBSON and the Ministry he leads, "Focus on the Family". http://www.fotf.org/ Another correspondant reccomends talking to the babes yet in the womb; I concur heartily, and suggest taking it a step furthur; sing to them as well! Love can be communicated so many ways, at so many levels... and is not song one of the most sacred? Let the celebration of Life begin... Lo!: it hath already commenced! Behold the sacred dance of Creation unfolding before you... and rejoice, already!
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Naemanson Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:49 PM When we were expecting our first child we talked to her all the time. The ultrasound picture wasn't very clear, the kid looked distinctly like a frog, so we called her Kermit. I'm not saying it worked but she has a good attitude, a sweet disposition but she's also assertive and stands up for herself, and she graduated from high school as class valedictorian. Oh, and she loves the Muppets! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Lonesome EJ Date: 05 Sep 00 - 10:54 PM Wes! Best log some solid hours of sleeping now while you can!Congratulations,and I'm glad Lynne and I got to meet you. LEJ |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: wysiwyg Date: 06 Sep 00 - 03:01 PM WS, My brother is a pretty tough guy whose only fatherly influences were sick, twisted, absent, and abusive. We were all curious how he would do as a dad. Here is what I see, now that his son is eight. 1. No one told Tom and Shannon that babies open their eyes right away. So when Nick didn't, for about three weeks, they didn't know that might be a problem. (Hey! Puppies, kittens, right???? They hadn't known any babies!!!) So they treated Nick as if he were just fine. Which he was, of course. He just had to sleep off the anesthsia from the C-section. If they had fussed at him, oh Lord! 2. Tom started with the idea that Nick is from another place where the customs, although different, are just as good as ours. As his host, Tom decided, it would be up to him to treat his guest well, and to show him the local scene. So his attitude has been: Well, Nick, that's a good way of doing such and such, maybe we should try that. Here is how we do it though, in case you want to know.... 3. Tom and Shannon decided they would share as much of the work of parenting as they could. This included taking turns on night feedings-- Tom for all of them on one night so Shannon could get a whole night's sleep, then the next night, switch turns. Nick was colicky. Tom says he really knew he was a dad when he was standing in line at the cash register one night, when he had stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of items. You know how that is-- no cart, no basket, becuase it will be just a few items? Well there was Tom, arms loaded full, in line to pay, sorta in gooneyland, tired young dad, when he realized he was standing there swaying from one foot to the other, rocking... the groceries.... to sleep. 4. Once in awhile Tom feels like he is about to do something as a dad that he DOES NOT WANT to do, something from the past he does not want to pass on. He gets whatever help he needs..... advice, a session, prayer, stopping and thinking, etc. And in closing, I will share what Mr. Kelts Dillman, a parishioner of ours, said on his deathbed last week. Kelts and his family only had about a week to take in and deal with his terminal diagnosis of a surprise cancer the doctors found spread throughout his bones. When Hardi and I went to the hospital to do our thing (and we never know just what that is going to mean), I had time to say just one thing... hmmm, what would it be? I pointed out how wonderful his family was, how they were all taking good care of each other. (So he wouldn't worry about leaving them and die any later than necessary, prolonging the pain out of duty and worry.) Kelts got his daughter to pull off his oxygen mask to gasp out one sentence in reply, and I have never heard such a distilled statement of how to live, love, and make family. He said: I guess they can pass on all the good I been. Of course, they already are, have been, that's how this family IS. May all of us pass on the good each other has been, and nothing less. Do that, and follow the crazy family advice in the Bible (which only makes any sense after you apply it), and you will have more than two fine sons. You will have.... we will all have... oh you know. God bless your family, Wesley. ~S~ PS, I was twins. See me in PMs for details. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Peter T. Date: 06 Sep 00 - 03:28 PM I am not sure they can be both sensitive and handle bullies. Can you have one of them sensitive, and the other beat up people who pick on his brother? (joke, joke, joke!!!!) yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Morticia Date: 06 Sep 00 - 03:40 PM I'm really excited for you both ,Wesley.....even more so knowing I'm not the one carting the little darlings around (phew, one at a time was more than enough).......be nice to your wife.....buy her ice cream and rub her feet...it may come quickly for you but February is a long way off for her, believe me. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Naemanson Date: 06 Sep 00 - 03:55 PM Once upon a time my father wanted six strapping sons so he could walk down the street with them and insult people. Fotunately of his five children only two were sons. The daughters were too sensible to be part of such action and the oldest son was too sensitive. By the time the youngest son was old enough my father had mellowed to the point where he no longer wanted to insult people. Wes, you are on your way. Now you have to choose. Will you raise sensitive artists or arrogant fighters? *BG* By the way, try as you might, you only have a limited input and then only in those formative years. Then the peers take over and you get to watch your hard work tumble down around your ears. Surround those kids with good role models and you stand a fighting chance. Example overheard in the schoolyard: "Gotta match? I got a joint." "Naw, ask her!" "No good, they're the Benzing kids. They're chem free." "But he's one of the coolest kids in school!" That is the value of loving and honoring kids, showing them the value of clean living, being honest about your own foibles and mistakes, trusting them to make good decisions, praising their good decisions and letting them know you are there for them when they screw it up.
One last aside, Wes - your wife's name! I love it. I never thought to see a feminine version of my own. Brett is a rare enough name in it's own right but Bretta is wonderful. The names you've chosen for your kids are great too. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Wesley S Date: 06 Sep 00 - 04:18 PM My wife was named after James Garners charecter on the old TV western Maverick. So Brett became Bretta. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Naemanson Date: 06 Sep 00 - 04:43 PM Me Too! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mrrzy Date: 06 Sep 00 - 09:26 PM My twin boys just started kindergarten, so I am in fear of all the good manners I instilled being distilled by peer pressure... one I'm still working on teaching the sensitivity thing to. But they are both great lads. You're in for a great ride! FYI, we didn't know Timothy was a boy till he was born (he was nearly Elizabeth), but William's "turtle" showed early. So we knew at least one boy, but it might have been one of each. My sister's boy/girl twins are being (blank) Mitzvah'd next weekend... they're pretty OK too, although the boy has his moments... Ooh, you're about to have so much FUN! |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Tinker Date: 06 Sep 00 - 11:14 PM Congradulations ! Plan something reeally special to celebrate your relationship as a couple in the next few months and mark it with something easily recalled--like a song... keep it uncomplicated you've got twins coming,but mark a date after the boys come to remember it. Raising boys is alot like raising puppies in the early years. They tussle and romp and growl at each other (At least my three seem to) But the sensitivity and relationship skills they get most from what they see around them. If you and Bretta keep on doing with and for each other they'll catch on. Oh, and a great huge repitoire of lullabyes at least an hours worth before repeats....Give Bretta and both boys each a hug.. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: GUEST Date: 07 Sep 00 - 01:16 PM Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children. -- Sam Levenson |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: CamiSu Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:37 PM Having one boy who is the sensitive scholarly type, (til you get him in the garden or the barn, that is) and one who is more action and rough-tough, I'm not sure just HOW one goes about moulding that part. The older one grew up with his almost-twin sister and they lived much more in their heads than the youngest who only slows down to sleep and read. But show them the best you can be, give them LOTS of hugs and read to them and them read some more. Sing to and with them. They want to be like you, at least for a while and then if the basics are there they can make their own decisions and you can trust them. BTW, they will start making life-and-death decisions EARLY. Like crossing the road, not sticking things int electrical sockets, etc. And what one doesn't think of the other one will. Don't assume they're too young. Teach them. And one last thing. It keeps getting more fun. Teenagers are great! (So are twenty-somethings. I have two of those now...) |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: Mrs.Duck Date: 08 Sep 00 - 06:49 PM Great to hear everything is going well and look forward to the arrival of Srendan and Patrick. Our Moll and Rowan had their first birthday on 7th August and are just starting to walk (and climb and wreck everything in sight). Keep us all posted. |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: WyoWoman Date: 08 Sep 00 - 08:10 PM Wesley, I hope they're born on my son's birthday in February -- the 24th. He's one of the best human beans on the planet. And one of my dearest friends in this lifetime. I agree with the instructions above about taking care of our 'guests' as though they come from someplace different from ours where the customs aren't the same. That level of respect for the Being your child is is the beginning of a life-long love affair. Read "Real Boys," when you're staying up late in the rocking chair. It isn't happy news, but it fairly adequately dissects what's going on in our culture right now to mess boys up so much and make so many of them so sad. You won't do this, of course, but you may need the information. And then, just be yourself. Be the person you want to find in them. Works every time. Blessings on you all, ww |
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Subject: RE: Non Music: Update on my Twins From: GUEST,Unicorn Date: 09 Sep 00 - 06:44 AM Dear Wes, You and your good lady must be very excited - I can still remember the "shock" at the ultrasound session when the doctor showed us two "tadpoles". He kept on moving the sensor around, and when asked, replied that he was just making certain there wasn't a third hiding behind the other two!!! Our boys are now 17 years old and in their last year at school. I hope we've brought them up to understand "values" and "morals" as well as "a good sense of humour". We won't know for certain until they are out on their own and making their own decisions without parent backup! It has been fascinating to watch them over the years, how different each is from the other (they are fraternal not identical) considering they have had the same background, etc. How one walked before the other but was the later one to talk - slightly worrying at the time as these were our first children so we had "no previous experience"!!! Etc, etc - sorry I'm rambling (reminiscing?) One thing we have learned is that if you can "teach" and "guide" a child (by example?) rather than "tell", the results can be far more successful!!! (Especially if you can convince them that they thought of it first!) Good luck and the very best of good wishes to you both (all)! |
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