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Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II!
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Subject: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Peter T. Date: 22 Jan 01 - 03:47 PM For the earlier testimonials click here! "Whether it was akin to real communication, or more a penumbra around the wished-for if seldom accomplished proferring of mutual understanding, somewhat like the instant before the slippage through a pair of gloved hands, shaped at least in memory, and perhaps in actuality -- or pressed towards actuality by the presence of a potential absence -- similarly enough to a golden bowl so as ostensibly to hold such a bowl (though even that was not fully recognized at least in enough time to make something of a difference to the outcome, such as it was), not unlike -- and so it appeared to him in a moment of abruptness resembling the shock of discovery for which he had been waiting for so long throughout his travels -- a symbol of their encounters, namely, that all she had to do was to shape her hands, and the immediate conclusion drawn by all those around her was indeed that it was a golden bowl, though not a word had been intimated; so that even now he could not say whether they had been intimate or not; but even more that the medium of communication had both joined and distanced their gestures towards each other, like two people trying to cover up the fact that one of them had reached over to touch the other, and they had embraced, and and clumsily, inadvertantly, together (or together apart, or together with one of them apart, or one of them separately anticipating being together, or both of them together -- or even separately -- anticipating being apart) had smashed a precious object into a million pieces on the floor!!!!!" |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Ditzee Lee Date: 22 Jan 01 - 03:59 PM So like, well I dunno know about those hands and some like golden bowl, ya know, but like I was just cruisin' in the Valley, ya know and like nothin' was happenin' and like this um..friend of mine, like she is SO cool, she's got hair to die for and like, it was so rad, she came over one night and said she had to like show me this really cool thing on the Nerd's computer, I mean really, like, do I look like a computer geek, really, but she said, no, no, you'll see, like just let me show you! And, ummm, so we went down to my brother's room, thank goodness he was gone like to a concert and we knew he wouldn't be back for a few hours, so like okay we go in there, she turns on his computer and like types in this address and I say so like what's happenin' what are you doin' and she says like wait and see, I found this coolest spot, you'll never believe it, it is SO rad! And like the screen came to life and I saw ths werid, cute little fish with hair hanging down around its mouth, kinda like cute ya know, and she showed me all these pictures of these like old hippie types, but then she showed me like some of the stuff they say and write and like now I don't know what to do because I am losing my Valley girl image and I hardly ever do anything "rad" anymore, I just steal into my brother's bedroom and sneak time on his computer to go to the Mudcat to see all of my friends there and oh, geez, a whole sentence without "like"...what's to become of me now that I've found the Mudcat?! Ditzee Lee a'Morphin' |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: mousethief Date: 22 Jan 01 - 04:31 PM On a dark night in L.A., hot wind in my hair Warm smell of police dogs rising up through the air On the screen of my 'puter, I saw a shimmering light My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim; I thought it said "Mudcat: Next Right"
There they typed in the threadways
Chorus:
They got a 'catter named Catspaw, and Matt R. and Wesley (aka Wes)
So I posted a message: "Oasis is fine." (repeat chorus)
The last thing I remember, I was trying to log out ---Don Felder, Glen Frey & Don Henley |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Matt_R Date: 22 Jan 01 - 04:52 PM YES!!!!!! Excellent! I just started singing out loud! This needs to go in the Mudcat Songbook! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: mousethief Date: 22 Jan 01 - 05:10 PM Thanks, Matt. :-) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Troll Date: 22 Jan 01 - 08:32 PM Good on yer, Alex! troll |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 22 Jan 01 - 08:54 PM Keep yer eyes on the screen, yer hands upon the keys Keep yer eyes on the screen, yer hands upon the keys We goin' to de Mudcat Gonna meet some real....Folkies
Back of de Mudcat dey got some Tavern there
Come on and post, baby post
Ya got to post post post
Passionate strummer
Well I woke up dis morning and I put some Art Thieme on!
(apologies to Big Jim) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 22 Jan 01 - 08:58 PM I screwed up on the last two bits there. Should be...
Well I woke up dis morning and I put some Art Thieme on! I woke up dis morning and I put some Art Thieme on! He sing some ancient tunes |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: mousethief Date: 23 Jan 01 - 04:37 PM refresh. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jan 01 - 04:48 PM Great jobs, Alex and LeeJ! Peter, superb as always, but was there a testimonial in there somewhere?**BG** |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Peter T. Date: 23 Jan 01 - 05:23 PM I thought we might try something a bit more collaborative, as elsewhere. Here's a beginning (if people can't make something out of this....!?) Alice was getting very tired, but thought that there might possibly be a sign or some other indicator up ahead. It was all very provoking. "That way is quite helpful," said a voice from above. She looked up, and saw what appeared to be a large caterpillar smoking a cigarette, sitting on the top of a substantial mushroom. "Of course," said the caterpillar, "Some people prefer the other way. I myself prefer the first way, because with that G grip you can use your little finger more easily. But don't let me influence you. It depends on what suits you best." He took another drag on his cigarette. "Listen to him," said another voice, "he is benign, I can sense it." Alice turned her head, and saw a large cat, laughing, high on a branch of a nearby tree. This was all very curious. "Excuse me," she said, "but I am not really interested in how to hold down a G chord. I am trying---" "Hmmmfh," said the caterpillar. "And I bet you aren't interested in the history of the banjo either, are you?" Alice thought for a few moments. "I suppose, sir, that I could get interested ---" "It isn't a question of getting interested or not. You either are interested or you aren't. What kind of banjo did Charley Poole play?" "I'm sure I don't know, sir." "ASK MUDCAT!!!!" said two somewhat intertwined figures who Alice could make out underneath the tree. Around the neck of one was written Tweedlebert and around the other was Tweedlemax. Ah, thought Alice. Now we are getting somewhere. "Who is Mudcat?" "Who is Mudcat?" howled the cat, laughing hysterically to the point where she nearly fell off her perch, "Who is Mudcat???? The child kills me." Tweedlebert and Tweedlemax conferred with each other for a moment. The caterpillar continued smoking. The cat continued, though it seemed for a moment as if its body was getting a little translucent. Perhaps it was a virtual cat, though the smile seemed real enough. Tweedlebert then said:"My estemmed colleague and I are agreed that if you want to find out who Mudcat is, that you would be best to try that house over there." Both of them pointed towards a house in a shady grove within sight, but at some distance. Alice could just make out that there was a table set out in front of the house, with one or two figures seated, and others gathering, and there appeared to be musical instruments scattered all about the elegant lawn. She thanked them all, the cat laughing virtually to the vanishing point, the caterpillar looking on benignly, the twin gentlemen nodding and pointing, and she moved along what oddly appeared to be a thread over the ground towards the beckoning house. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jan 01 - 05:33 PM Aside: Bravo, Peter a wonderful start! We'll see where it goes. I've never read Alice in Wonderland clear through because i never could stand it...I'll jump in if there seems to be a spot I wouldn't muck up.:-) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Lazurus Flatulus Date: 23 Jan 01 - 06:01 PM This is most amazing creativity, Peter T. I am glad to be a mere scribe, and will use my skills to promote and exalt this realm, but I remain in awe of those whose muse ranges so widely. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jan 01 - 06:19 PM Very cute, BillD Oh ye of many fonts!**BG**
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: mousethief Date: 23 Jan 01 - 06:21 PM Does "Lazarus Flatulus" mean "farts to raise the dead"? |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jan 01 - 10:03 PM Lazarus Threadus |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: catspaw49 Date: 23 Jan 01 - 10:55 PM The real giveaway here is the "extree" in the addy. My congrats Wild Bill!!! And also my sincerest congrats to PT and everyone who has been playing on these two threads. Some really unbelievable writing and some of the most creative I've seen for a long time.....simply great stuff!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 24 Jan 01 - 12:17 AM Alice entered the gate, which squeaked on its hinges, then squealed, then launched into a full blown version of The Irish Washerwoman. "Why!" Alice exclaimed,"that's wonderful!" "Not when you have to listen to it everytime a wandering soul stumbles through it intent on crashing the party!" called a rather snide and jaded voice. She turned to behold a grizzled, flop-eared rabbit wearing a monocle and a sailing cap. " I b-beg your pardon, Mr Rabbit," she stammered. "That's hare!" he retorted, slamming the gate shut with his great padded foot, then mumbling "damned repetitious piece of hardware, lets every fool stumble through, rock fans, jazz bands, drug addicted zeppelin pilots." Alice clasped her hand over her mouth and said "why you must be the March Hare!" The rabbit grimaced, pretending to tie a bowline hitch in its cravat."That's Maine Hare," he mumbled in what Alice would have recognized as a down-east accent, had she been privy to such arcane knowledge. "Excuse me?" she replied. "Maine!" He shouted in consternation, then lowered his voice, saying " nevermind. It's supposed to be a party. Let me introduce you to the others." And he firmly grasped her elbow, steering her toward two figures who had emerged from the cottage and were busy playing a guitar and a fiddle, arguing for an instant, and then exchanging instruments, then commencing the cycle all over again. "They seem to be out of sorts," ventured Alice. "Yes," said the Maine Hare, "they can never agree on a key. But lets join them, shall we?" The Hare was showing physical stress from the unnatural effort to be polite."Curmudgeon!" hissed the gate, and the Maine Hare lifted a huge foot as if to deal it a blow, but was distracted by the cacophony being generated by the odd pair by the cottage." For God's sake play it in A! You'll end up there anyway!" he sighed heavily, then hustled Alice forward. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: MMario Date: 24 Jan 01 - 08:23 AM *appluase* (gotta brush up on my "Alice") |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: MMario Date: 24 Jan 01 - 08:51 AM Alice stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a oppossum)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened by another servant in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like an owl, possibly a Nightowl; and both , Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and crept a little further down the path to listen.
The 'possum began by whistling a merry tune,harmonizing with himself in a most peculiar way, which alice had always understood to be most impolite, though one should of course never mention it. Then saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Fair One. An invitation to play croquet.' The owl-servant, fanning the air with a look of desperation on its face, repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little, An invitation for the Fair One to play croquet.'
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back through the gate for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the 'Possum was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring blindly up into the sky. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Peter T. Date: 24 Jan 01 - 11:55 AM curiouser and curiouser. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 24 Jan 01 - 12:19 PM Alice looked down and saw that the thread still lay at her feet, but it crept off in differing directions through the wood. She chose what looked to be the longest one and followed it into the trees. She had only taken two steps when she saw a giant fretboard in front of her. "Do you play?" asked a mouse standing at the edge of the fretboard. "Play what?" asked Alice politely. "You will... you will... " muttered the mouse. Alice looked down at the fretboard again. There were a lot of strange looking creatures running back and forth. Alice turned to a puzzled looking person beside her. "Excuse me, but what are they doing?" she asked. "I don't know" replied the person in bewilderment, "I'm just a Guest. I wanted the words to a Garth Brook's song but they said it wasn't Folk." "What is Folk?" asked Alice. All at once the creatures stopped their scurrying and looked up at her. "She wants to know! She wants to know!" they whispered. Then one of them spoke: 'Twas bodhran, and the slithy notes Did gyre and fiddle in the wabe: All mimsy were the dulcimers, And the guitar raths outgrabe.
"Beware the definition of Folk, my son!
He took his accordian in hand: |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,LEJ Date: 24 Jan 01 - 01:28 PM Great FM! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: harpmolly Date: 24 Jan 01 - 02:06 PM And as in Cattish thought he stood, The PermaThread, with FAQs of flame, Came posting through the newbie wood, And Refreshed as it came. One, two! One, two! And clog-soled shoes Through jigs and reels went snicker-snack; Though left for dead, Song Challenge threads Came still galumphing back. A frown creased Alice's brow. "Perhaps I should not have taken that last sugar cube with my tea..."
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: harpmolly Date: 24 Jan 01 - 02:07 PM oh, my goodness. I'm staying far away from now on. ;) well, I tried... |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:13 AM Brava/Bravo!! Now I wished I'd actually read the damn thing all the way through, except this is SO much better! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:38 AM I have assembled you all in the library (said Hercule Poirot) to discuss the theft of certain items from the manor laundry. To whit: a wash tub and a scrubbing board. I have since learned that the housekeeper has also lost ten metal thimbles. A large cider jug has gone from the pantry too. Last night, Captain Hastings, you thought you saw someone on the terrace with a large unlit cigar in his mouth and you heard the cry of a corncrake. I have applied my little grey cells and have to confront you with the shocking news, the curate has the boys' club forming a skiffle group (gasps of horror) and it was he practicing the kazoo, for as you know, corncrakes are unknown in this part of the world. If you look under his bed, Inspector Japp you will find a cheap Eko guiitar and a copy of Bert Weedon's "Tune a day Guitar method." Do not try to deny it, the Bishop (not Dickie)has been informed and is sending you as a missionary to Orillia to give you a chance to consider your future. My suspicions were first aroused when you announced "Rock Island Line" instead of "Rock of Ages" at the Colonel's funeral. A mere slip of the tongue, but, how telling. As for who stabbed the Colonel with an assegai, I have no idea, but as they say in Belgium, who gives a merde? Hastings, a tisane please. RtS ( a poor contribution to this splendid thread, but mine own -for once) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:41 AM *LOL* RtS! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:50 AM Now we are alone, Poirot, (said Hastings) I think it a bit thick you took all the credit. If I hadn't been logged on to the Mudcat on my new Marconi Catspaw-whisker wireless receiver you would never have heard of Skiffle, Dickie Bishop or Bert Weedon (Poirot sighed and reached for his revolver, Hastings was becoming a liability) RtS (who was so smug he forgot to mention the Mudcat before! What do you expect, I failed the entrance exam for village idiot the first six times.) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:53 AM RtS - our village is so poor we can't afford a full-time village idiot. We all have to take turns to do voluntary shifts. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST Date: 26 Jan 01 - 06:06 AM refresh |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Jan 01 - 08:38 AM "Excuse me, sir." said Jeeves shimmering in with my afternoon snifter. "But I thought I heard a strange noise,is someone repairing the bedsprings?" Bally cheek, I told him I had bought a five-string banjo and was bally well going to play it. The drones have a banjo Orchestra you know. We used to play jolly old minstrel songs then Oofy Prosser heard about this Mudcat thingy so we're going to try folk songs: Wild Rover,Working on the bally old railway, sort of thing. It'll be an abolute hoot, we'll tie string round our trousers and wear flat caps and everything. I don't know what came over Jeeves, I've never known him faint before. Now where was I: "If you ever get to bally old Houston, then you better bally well walk right,don't bally well quarrel or bally well fight." By Jove, I think I've got it. I hope Tuppy Glossop has got his accordian out of pawn to join us. Now if Aunt Dahlia would give us a write up in her bally magazine we could be famous. I think Jeeves is having a spasm I say, that's it we'll be the famous Drones Spasm Band. I astound myself with my brilliance sometimes. Jeeves, come on old man, buck up, I'll give you my old banjolele. No? Well pull yourself together, we'll need a roadie.... RtS (Editor's note: the fact that the performance never took place is attributed by some to the accidental reversing of Mr Wooster's motor car over the assembled instruments by the formerly very reliable driver, Mr Wooster's personal gentleman's gentleman, in what was clearly a momentary loss of concentration.) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 26 Jan 01 - 08:46 AM Hey, Roger, that was HILARIOUS!!!! Don't forget the Drones' Club theme song "47 Ginger-Headed Sailors"! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Jan 01 - 08:50 AM Thanks, Matt, it was your mention of Jeeves & Wooster in the boredom thread that gave me the idea. RtS |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Naemanson Date: 26 Jan 01 - 09:39 AM Talk about thread creep! These latest "testimonials" need their own thread! The Queen of Hearts, She had her harp, And blew the blues so well, The King of Hearts, He chased the tarts, And slapped a bass as well. The Cheshire Mudcat smiled his enigmatic smile and whispered through his whiskers. "Would you like to join the band?" They need a banjo player. Here is your chance to shine!" "But I don't know how to tune the banjo much less play it!" cried Alice. "Perfect! Neither does any one else." The Cheshire Mudcat smiled wider and slowly faded from view. "Just let me get out of earshot and you can start."
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Peter T. Date: 26 Jan 01 - 09:42 AM Roger, my hero!!!!! ("So, Jeeves, what do you think of the banjo, eh?" He arched his left eyebrow briefly, as if a butterfly were about to take umbrage. "I believe, Sir, that it was Nietszche who said that 'After me come the terrible simplifiers', though he was clearly referring to the Great Powers of Europe at the time." "Oh, he was did he? Well when you see him, you can tell him for me that m. has c. to s. the s.b. and so forth." "I will pass on your remarks, sir. Will that be all?" "Yes, that will be all, Jeeves". And he shimmering out. I tried to accompany his shimmering with a disdainful roll on my banjo, but somehow it didn't have the required oomph.) ) |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: Peter T. Date: 26 Jan 01 - 09:45 AM sorry about the typos. in too much of a hurry this a.m. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: MMario Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:05 AM As Alice began plunking, strumming and frailing - along came an anonymous Guest and a Mock-poster. "Marvelous!" they cried. "Just the music we need for the Flamer's Quadrille!" "The Flamer's Quadrille?" asked Alice. "Whatever could that be?" "You may not have been in the forum much," said the Mock-poster. ("well not much" said Alice) So you may not realize what a delightful thing is the Flamer's Quadrille" "I once burnt myself on a match," said Alice - but quickly realized that was not what the Mock-poster was refering to. "How does the flamer's Quadrille go?" "It's so much fun it's incredible," burbles the Anonymous Guest. "First you troll a provacative post through the forum" "Or two! Insulting thread titles are best" interjected the Mock-poster. "But first you must choose a name to post under" "or no name at all," said the Anonymous Guest. "that makes it best of all." "you respond once or twice to fan the flames" they chanted together. "then you watch the regulars trip over themselves trying to help with the request, argue about whether or not the original poster is real and defend each other when they aren't yelling at each other." Alice plunked a few more notes out, and quietly said "It doesn't sound like fun to me." "oh it is, it is," claimed Anonymous Guest. "Do tell her," it said to the Mock-Poster. "No, please, you tell her" replied the Mock-Poster.
Will you post a little nasty, said the flamer to the troll
Will you flame or won't you flame, will you won't you will you won't you And as the Anonymous Guest and the Mock-Poster danced gleefully around and around, Alice concluded the best thing to be done would be to ignore them both at all times. She had found the Hesitant Newcomer and the Occasional Guest to be much more agreeable.
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:10 AM Rising to my feet to applaud, MMario, we have only one word for that where I come from: BOSTIN'! RtS |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: MMario Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:11 AM *blush* plagerized mostly, I must admit. |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: katlaughing Date: 26 Jan 01 - 11:01 AM These have ALL been FaneffingTASTIC!!! Thanks!! |
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Subject: RE: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials II! From: GUEST,Wynton Marsalis Date: 26 Jan 01 - 11:55 AM Man, the cool thing about the 'Cat in those days was they had created a whole new rhythm in their postings that was knocking every body out. I mean you had Peter T going "Dee dee bee bawww BOP BOP!" Then Mario would jump in like "Doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ba-deedle de op!" The Skiffler would be in the back doing this kind of "shoop-dop-shoop-dop-shoop-dop shadibidee bop!" and underneath all of them you had Catspaw doing this "Ba-RUMPH! Ba-RUMPH!" I mean, man, they swung. |
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