BS: Real Life Sucks!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 08 Mar 01 - 05:22 AM

DOH MAtt... I did mean Gams...

Just made me remember... Well I wasn't too far away... Gams... is what the bloke from Baltimore said to me, going on about my gams, and I had to stop him in mid gam and ask him what the hell he was on about....

He didn't say anything about killer gams... I have not mastered the gam headlock yet.. just said yak gams .. yak yak yak gams yak...

Anyways, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh please speak quietly, I am hungover, 4 bottles of lovely red wine between 4 of us last night..... but shhhhhhhh!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: roopoo
Date: 08 Mar 01 - 02:55 AM

It is useful to look back and see how we have actually cleared many seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our lives, and climbed out of what seemed at the time bottomless chasms. Nearly 3 years ago our eldest niece died from alcoholism at the age of 31. I believe the root cause of it was depression which had gone unnoticed, but by although she eventually admitted the problem to her doctors and her parents, she couldn't face her husband with it and talk to him, even though he knew. Her father is diabetic and her long final illness and subsequent death upset his auto-immune responses, and he developed vasculitis which went undiagnosed for several months until he was so bad that morphine wasn't working on the pain. (He has to be careful with any drug treatments because he is asthmatic and also has irrhthmia). He is eventually beginning to regain some quality of life, although he has some "off" days. He and his wife have dealt with Sarah's death admirably, and we are all able to talk and laugh at times about her memory. Her husband has a new lady in his life, who has been welcomed into the family circle. This is good because there was also a child involved, who was nearly 5 at the time, and she is now blossoming.

So I fret and fuss about yesterday afternoon, when I was at the end of my tether as we had a domestic disaster: the new sofa ( the first really good quality one we have had) is too big to go into the house via the doors and the only way is to remove a window from the front of the house. (And what happens if we move house?) It had to be taken back to the store. Anticipating a quick installation of the new furniture, I had scrapped the old lot the day before. I now really, really need to talk to my husband about what to do, and to let the store know, and he is up-country in Siberia, out of any contact until tomorrow. He may not even get any messages I have left, and he's not home for a week.

But at least we were able to afford the new furniture (even if this episode may cost us dearly), and at least we are managing to pay for 2 kids at university (one of whom, thankfully, finishes this year). My husband has a good job, even if I have hardly seen him for the last 10 years (next week for 5 days and then probably not again until June for a week or so, then August I should think for about 10 days or a fortnight). It's just at times like this, when you need to sit down and discuss things through - you can't. I have not the freedom of a single person, where whatever decision you make is yours alone, and any results are yours to deal with. I always have to bear in mind that there is another person in the relationship who has an opinion too. Most of the time I can cope with that, but at times like yesterday, when I know what I'd do, but daren't because he would probably go ape-shit...

Again, I should count myself lucky. I had a part in the service for the victims of the recent train crash in Great Heck, and I have nothing but admiration for the relatives of the victims who attended, and the injured. The widow of the freight driver was there with her children, and I had the privilege of escorting her to her seat. I do not think I could have conducted myself with the dignity she showed, given the circumstances. I still have a husband, and my children are adults except for the youngest who is nearly 15. She has a 9 year old and a 12 year old to comfort and raise by herself.

Bit long-winded, but sorry. Call this thread the psychiatrist's couch!

Andrea

Cones? Anyone remember circle-stitched bras in the late 50s and early 60s? AND let me add that they went out in my very, VERY early bra-wearing days when I am afraid that I never stood a chance of using one to its "full" potential!!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Kim C
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 10:02 AM

Madonna had cones, remember? But I think that might have been back in the 80s too. Or maybe that was the 90s. Heck, I don't remember. But then weren't there those torpedo bras back in the 50s that looked like cones too? That's before my time.

Thanks all of you for your encouraging words. I am much better today. :-) I may have lost my dad but I still have both my cones (and my voice and my job and my house and my car and my dogs and all my friends too) so I guess that's something to be grateful for!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: GUEST,Matt
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 08:11 AM

LOL, LH, Ella, you both need to watch some Pauly Shore movies, especiallt Encino Man. You'll learn ALL about cones!!

And Ella...smaller is better. They're bite-sized. Yum yum!

And about "hams," that's just short for "hamstring", you know. Now "gams" is a classic leg euphenism, as in "You've got a set of killer gams!"

--Matt

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 06:44 AM

oooo... right... I could start off on the Clinton line.. but I'd depress you all too much... I'm on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster right now, but just about managing to keep my chin up. Though I feel exhausted, look wrecked and need time off.

Well ANYWAYS NOT going to dwell anymore on that... Clinton... you have your health!

Right, on to the other things in here...

Mouth organs... hmmm allegedly mouth organ players are very good with their mouths.. erm... heh heh heee

And cones = Breasts... Matt that one is a new one to me. Never heard them called that, I thought you were all talking about traffic cones, which is something we know about well in the UK.... They seem to eat the roadworkers.

Personally I'd admit to nothing as grand as a cone in Matts sense of the word.... one can but dream... oh well!

One american I met kept saying about my hams... was what I thought he called them (can't remember now) but apparantly he meant legs.... you lot are odd! I'm glad he explained though... I did start to worry.

lol.....

Hams, Cones... what else do I not know about in American slang for body parts....?

For ages and ages and ages I wondered what Bangs were?

Is u all aliums?

Ella

confused.... and just about awake in work... need sleep... need to stop worrying!

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 01:16 AM

Matt, I'm going off to bed, but from a previous post:

Matt, remember the bitterest messages you ever sent me? Sign me up for a DOUBLE. I want my turn NOW. And speaking of which, how come you quit writing me? What, am I chopped liver?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 12:57 AM

Ah yes, the late 80's...when I was, like, 9 years old, man!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Mar 01 - 12:13 AM

Thanks but I am already surrounded by more than enough of them. I think however that I appreciate the sentiment.

Me and a girlfriend invented a concept in the late 80's called the Penis Pouch. It would be a little amulet-looking thing worn on a thong around the neck. At all-male power-gatherings, a lady in attendance, if she were not being encouraged to fully participate, would pull her little pouch out from under her blouse, lean forward in a friendly way, and say in a low, reassuring tone, "It's OK for me to be here... I have one too, right here. Just so ya know.."

And inside, there would be a soft-sculpture 3D icon of a penis, decorated of course in some style unique to the lady's personality. I believe Joyce specified that hers would be sort of peach satin, with pink feathers at the base to suggest, well, you know... and the feathers would be most attractive and non-threatening too, sort of waving in the slightest breeze... anyway if it came to a showdown, these would be sort of nestled inside where they'd be revealed if you turned the bag inside out. Nice and tidy. I bet Sorcha could mock these up and we'd get rich, even today.

Of course I know times have changed; gimme a break, man, like, this was the 80's, man.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Amergin
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 11:54 PM

Well, yeah, Susan.....btw you can have my pecker if you want....I ain't got not use for it....

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 11:51 PM

Suddenly, my day brings me to a whole new appreciation for a place where it just might be OK to admit that whatever counterfeit of life I got caught up in today, it really sucked the big one. Yah, sure, I can keep up my pecker and apparently several others', most days, but just this one lil moment.... I give UP, and don't even think about cheering me back to the fray, because I'll do that for myself tomorrow just like always. And I had me nuffadatsheet. Today.... Matt, remember the bitterest messages you ever sent me? Sign me up for a DOUBLE. I want my turn NOW. And speaking of which, how come you quit writing me? What, am I chopped liver?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 11:06 PM

Bi-metal reeds adjust to the situation at hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 10:52 PM

Well, LH, I've heard that playing a Harmonica Lewinsky is similar to playing on an organ. Some say it's closer in sound to the Scottish skin flute, which is like an American skin flute, except the Scots one has a pump to go with it.

Tuning is simple. You use one of those battery-operated tuners...you know, the kinda that fit in your pocket?

And it does look like Hohner's going to have a bit of stiff competition...the Hohner HotMetal is being rivaled by the Harmonica Lewinsky HardSteel model.

As for flat reeds, no more worries, my friend. Harmonica Lewinsky guaranteed straight, long-lasting, rock-solid, powerful reeds that can take a massive blowing and still come back for more.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 07:49 PM

Matt - You've got me wondering...is it possible to tune a Harmonica Lewinsky? If so, they might end up outselling Hohner. Do they ever get flat reeds? If so, what do you do?

Flat reeds in harmonicas are among life's truly depressing phenomena.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 07:20 PM

Is that wroughten from the very depths of your soul ? That's deep bert.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Bert
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 07:13 PM

Blues songs ain't writted or wrote - They're wrotten!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 06:29 PM

Kim,

Let the feelings out now. Don't hold them in til sometime in the inappropriate future to let them out unexpectedly. I went through this too and I wish someone told me to cry a whole lot 'cause it really hurt.

wdat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 06:14 PM

Music saves!! (again).
It picks you up when you want picking up and it eases you down when you want to wallow.
And when life begins to suck, tell it to suck the other one, it's got cod liver oil on it!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 06:03 PM

ClintonH,

If I wake up feeling that life sucks...I take a real good look at the world all that day....and go to bed at night knowing that life really sucks........!

Hee Hee...enjoy it ..it's good to be down...It's how the best blues was written (wrote , writted!!).

Spot

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 03:07 PM

Kim; My condolences about your dad. After thirty years I still miss mine. It get's easier but there are times it's still a 24 carat gold bitch. Go with God, Kindest reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Bert
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 02:48 PM

OK, so I got it wrong! I still love you though.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 02:39 PM

Thank you Bert! I needed that. Actually, you and Guest misunderstood me. When I said "Poor old man - no love??? You have described existence" I was asking Guest,old man if he didn't include love in his list of essentials? His "food, water, and warmth" to me only constitute existence.


GUEST says: "Sinsull has it. That keeps you busy productively"????? Thanks for the vote of confidence but I don't have a clue what you're talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Kim C
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 02:36 PM

Thanks Clint. I'm workin on it. Onward and upward. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 02:19 PM

Good days and not so good days, eh Kim... Keep yer pecker up...

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Kim C
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 02:14 PM

I'm gonna wallow here with Clinton for a moment. Some of you know my father died six months ago. I thought I was doing really well... but yesterday a friend told me her father-in-law had recently died after a very long illness, and then it all came back to me, and I went home a crying, sobbing mess. By and large I don't suppose I have anything to complain about but I think the loss is greater than I imagined and makes small irritants into great ones.

and I told Mister, you know, I didn't think it would be this hard. I feel like I should be doing better. And he told me it's okay to take the time I needed to get better. But sometimes it feels like forever. 'Scuse me while I go get a kleenex.....

KFC

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Homeless
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 01:47 PM

When I'm feeling down
and life's a total wreck,
I think of those worse off than me,
And really feel like heck.

-Whiley (from the B.C. comic strip)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 10:18 AM

Clinton - you can have a moment of down-ness if you like. Just because other people have things worse doesn't mean you can't be sad. Same as the fact that other people have things better shouldn't stop anyone being happy.
Sometimes you just need to get the negative feelings through your head & off your chest so that you can move on & see the bright side later on.
So have a little wallow & then cheer up & give the wife a big hug (even if she is asleep..)

Hope your seeing a happier perspective soon.

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 09:49 AM

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: GUEST,Bill C.
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 01:07 AM

Well, first let's define "sucks."

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 12:42 AM

Ha! Ha! Ha! You're so naughty Matt. Funny tune though.

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 12:32 AM

LH, OF COURSE that's what you meant. If there weren't 647 cones in the State Department (some one in there must have a 3rd nipple), how do you think Bill found Monica? And Bill just LOVED sitting around smoking cigars and sucking and blowing on his Harmonica Lewinsky.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 12:31 AM

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 12:29 AM

Don't borrow no mouth organ
Not ever from your best friend
Don't go borrow no mouth organ
Not even from your best friend
Cuz if you survive the blowin'...
The suckin's gonna get you
In the end.........oh yeah!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 06 Mar 01 - 12:07 AM

You mean there's nothing wrong with us?

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:53 PM

So am I. I love harmonica playing. Just couldn't resist the opportunity, that's all...

I like Hohner Big River harps about the best these days.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:50 PM

LH,

What's wrong with harmonica players? I'm a harmonica player. I never knew there was anything right or wrong with harmonica players.

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:44 PM

Don't call me "old", man! :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Amergin
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:41 PM

LH, you old pervert.....

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:39 PM

What??? Not around here it's not. My God. Those are not the kind of cones I was referring to at all...

You and Bobby D appear to be getting along fine, which is great as far as I'm concerned.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:33 PM

Hey! What about me and Bobby D??

Oh LH, BTW "cones" is also slang for breasts.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:29 PM

Matt - "She's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look back" So you wanna keep cones out of America, do you? Too late, little buddy! I can state with absolute authority that there are 647 cones in the US State Department at this very moment, subverting America relentlessly from within. They are actually not quite as pointy-headed as the average conservative, and that makes them hard to spot. Even Spot the Dog could probably not single them out. It's no use fighting guys, the cones have got you licked. You'll all be living by the new Conestitution shortly, and consuming vast amounts of Canadian beer while listening to New Age music and dancing wildly in the parks and public areas. Cool, eh?

Back to the thread = It isn't actually real life that sucks. It's harmonica players that suck...except when they blow, that is.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: GUEST,David Cone
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 11:20 PM

Yeah! You people think you have it rough? I've lost my fastball, I'm tipping off the curve and I'll probably never be in another World Series again. So now you start pickin' on all my relatives.

It ain't fair I tell you.

David Cone (proud of my fellow Cones)

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:54 PM

"Through the years I could see my life blown by the wind
Soaring high and then dashed to the ground
Finally I wondered just how much I'd squandered
Having every wind that blows toss me around
A good man's not alway right nor the bad one always wrong
Things are not always black or white as I'd thought my whole life long
Instead of haste, I've learned patience and gratitude for questions
The answers can wait, that at last I have found"

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Matt_R
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:37 PM

Real life sucks...but my secret life as musical do-gooder superhero ATTITUDE BOY positively ROCKS!

Hesp, that line about keepin' on keepin' on tells me that you've be hanging arounf Little Hawk waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: mousethief
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:33 PM

So very few people who claim life sucks are willing to trade it in for something else.

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: hesperis
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:32 PM

Real life is AWESOME!!!

And yes, I have been in so much pain that I wished I were dead. Still, after keepin' on keeping on for twenty-odd years, I am beginning to see the beauty and colours of the life around me. Even shadows have their place. Even the most tired-out heart has a spark still in it somewhere..... waiting for spring to come again.

And the promise of winter is that spring will come again!

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:31 PM

I'm sitting here waiting for the "Storm of the Century" and I'm worried about the cones? The woodstove is right behind me and it's getting really hot in here. I can't even spell anymore. I've got to go outside and checkout this monster storm. I hope I don't run out of wood. My furnace went down in January and I've been burning wood like there's no tomorrow. I was out of work for two weeks with torn ligaments in my foot and I couldn't do much around here except feed the stove to keep from freezing. My pipes froze in the mean time and my cellar filled up with water. A friend from work asked me out and now life doesn't suck anymore. It's just more complicated.

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: Amergin
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:20 PM

I would have to agree that life sucks....sometimes I just get tired of having my emotions swing from one extreme to the next.....though I am in no hurry to be moving on...but hell, dealing with this everyday for 13-14 years is tiresome.....

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: mousethief
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 10:18 PM

Do they consume mass quantities of food and drink?

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: wdyat12
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 09:56 PM

Who are the cones? Are thye dangerous? Are they from outerspace? Inqiring minds want to know.

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Real Life Sucks!!!
From: mousethief
Date: 05 Mar 01 - 09:46 PM

Real life sucks, but it beats the alternative?