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Song Challenge! - Part 79
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 08 Jun 02 - 08:34 PM Never fear, Sonja dear, with a wave of TGG's wand, all has become rightly entitled - on the awards' post and in the Songbook. ;-) -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja (with egg on face) Date: 08 Jun 02 - 07:45 PM Thanks so much for the Cow Chips, Áine. I just realized I forgot to change the Irving Berlin title when I parodied "Alexander's Ragtime Band." The title for this Song Challenge! was supposed to be "The Oasis Badger Cam." ~SWO~ |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Áine Date: 08 Jun 02 - 03:52 PM Well, I got better, 'nuff said. Here are the Cow Chip Awards for all 41 entries for this Challenge! (and derrymacash, it's a good thing you got a job, so you can't do this to me anymore!)
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
song title edited per request by mudelf ;-)
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:12 AM Get well soon Aine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 17 Jan 02 - 03:45 PM The "Get Well, Áine" thread is here. Sonja |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:58 AM I just realized I spelled "butt" wrong in my Phil Ochs parody above. It should be "Bare-butt For Sportin'" instead of "Bare But For Sportin'." I made the same mistake in the hook line of each verse. (I probably penned it while sleep deprived.) Derrymacash's song for Áine, along with others by Amos, Micca, etc., is posted in the current "Get Well, Áine" thread. Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 17 Jan 02 - 04:48 AM To the tune of "John Henry" – A get well song for Áine Áine, she's a tearing up her garden She's a-diggin' and a-haulin' day and night Till one of her neighbours sneaked a look across the fence And wondered "Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite? Lord, lord Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite?" Cos Áine was fairly shifting earth boys She dug about a continent or two I shouted to her neighbour "Better get you out the way Else she might just end up digging you, Lord, lord Else might just end up digging you" The Texan human excavator She's digging like a JCB Someone better chuck a spanner in her works Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea Lord, lord Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea And then there comes the sound of rupture It's noisy as a thunderclap And Áine's on the ground, and she's rolling all around Saying "Fellas help me … I think something's snapped Lord, lord Fellas help me … I think something's snapped" The moral of this story The moral of this tune Is – sod off, there isn't any moral Áine, chara, get well soon Lord lord Áine, chara, get well soon |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: katlaughing Date: 17 Jan 02 - 01:15 AM Oh, Alison, what a memory!! I think that was about the time those cute garden service guys tried to hire her! As far as I know everything is still perky!**BG** |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: alison Date: 16 Jan 02 - 07:51 PM the last time she did all this heavy work Kat, she sent you with a message to say that her "tits were perky"..... so come on.... enquiring minds want to know..... *grin* get better soon Aine..... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: katlaughing Date: 16 Jan 02 - 07:40 PM HeyaFolks, This is a message for you all from Aine. She asked me to let you know that she tried to do an impersonation of Sisyphus and now her back hurts so badly she is unable to sit at her computer! She got a fine Scots blessing from me, as my dad would call a chewing out, for doing so! **BG** Don't worry, lots of love and sympathy, too. Anyway, she says you all have been doing a really wonderful job, esp. noting that Derrymacash has done no less than TWENTY-TWO, count 'em, 22 entries and she hopes to be able to get back on the computer, soon. Despite this, watch for a new Song Challenge, as she is going to ask Dear Hubby to post one for her. If ya feel the inclination, you might send her some good thoughts, like her floating in a warm seasalt inlet, letting go of all that pain and stress of pushing those dang 100 pound boulders up her driveway for a birdbath of all things!!**BG** Aine, when you read this...sorry darlin'....I had to do some recruiting so that you will take care of yerself!**BG** luvyaLOTS...kat |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 16 Jan 02 - 12:45 PM Ah, but ye flog the horse so adeptly, Derry, my man! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 16 Jan 02 - 03:57 AM Genie ... I don't know if you've seen the "finally made it to belfast" thread ... but a gauntlet's been thrown down there to do a wee job of work ... So in fairness to all ... I think this horse might have been flogged a little too vigorously of late ... 22 entries ... Bloody hell ... I'll have to start taking the tablets again! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 16 Jan 02 - 02:34 AM Well, so far, Derry, if I count right, you've penned 22 gems for this one Challenge! That's enough for an anothology on the topic! An' a good 'un, at that! That'll teach Áine to beware playing hooky--when you come back, you've got lots of homework! BTW, Áine, I hope all is well there at Moon On the Hill. (Breaking rocks is too harsh a penance for being away a while.) Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 05:11 PM Hurrah ... the cavalry has arrived! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Nerd Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:38 PM Or, instead of right upon her noggin-o, you could sing "right between their tushes-o!"
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Nerd (work computer) Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:32 PM Jesus, Derry, if you take on two more albums you're gonna need help! Try this one out...the title song from "Well Below the Valley"
A gentleman was passing by |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 15 Jan 02 - 06:41 AM I jusat wonder if the two love birds that have brought out the best [the dorty gits] in Mudsites magnificent rhymers, have ever been told. Would someone in that lovely part of England please pass on the message that through their antic in the woods, they have also given us on this thread, lots of pleasure. Ard Mhacha. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 06:13 AM A mischievous friend e-mailed me to ask if the well had any bottom. I took that to be a veiled reference to a request to start work on "The Well Below The Valley" or "The Woman I Loved So Well". Sorry … the well does have a bottom … here are two final Planxty parodies … of "Cúnla" from "The Well Below The Valley" and "True Love Knows No Season" from "The Woman I Loved So Well". Who is that there that's slashing the undergrowth (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Cúnla dear, don't come any nearer me (x3) Maybe I will says Cúnla Who is that there that's clearing a space for me (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's rippin' the clothes off me (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's wobblin'me tassel-o (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, all captured on video (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there that's fled from security (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who in his haste, got caught on a barbed-wire fence (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, his wound all festerin' (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS Who is that there, they're cutting his todger off (x3) Only me says Cúnla CHORUS TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO REASON Billy Gray was a bad man Well known not to give a damn He came from a townland Near Lake Windermere And Sarah was a bit naïve (At least we local folks believed) She wore her heart upon her sleeve And was younger than her years CHORUS But true love knows no reason And this is not the season To peel off your kit And get naked in the open air Wear a wool-hat with a bobble If you intend to dabble In any sort of carry-on That requires you getting' bare Billy was a charmer Though he didn't mean to harm 'er He hoped to pierce the armour Of her virginity To the woods he led her Planning for to thread her And after he'd betrayed her He'd flee the vicinity CHORUS But our Sarah was not so chaste As was generally held to be the case For carnal love she had a taste As Billy was to find And as he was nearing Her standing in the clearing He saw she was leering He knew what was on her mind CHORUS Her appetite gigantic Sarah was near frantic The force of Sarah's antics Made oul' Billy tired So when security gave chase Billy fell flat on his face Too knackered to maintain the pace That his escape required CHORUS
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 15 Jan 02 - 04:49 AM For all my crowing and bumming about having polished off "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night", I had a wee reminder that I left out parodying one song. Help! I can't cope! (Johnny Cope that it is!) HOW CAN I COPE? Johnny's sent a message to his girl Sayin' my flag of love I will unfurl Shall we give the woods a whirl Before the break of mornin'? CHORUS How can I cope, I am fit to burst Like an alcoholic with a thirst With a need for lovin' I am cursed Let's go to the woods before the mornin' When Jenny heard her Johnny's plea She dressed herself most splendidly And for the woods did quickly flee To join her love before the mornin' CHORUS Johnny be as good as your word And run me through with your long pork sword Do not leave me wantin' more When the night blends into mornin' CHORUS When Johnny Cope he heard of this He hugged his Jenny and he gave a kiss And soon he sprung in readiness For a night of love till mornin' CHORUS But as he grabs her and he takes a hold Jenny shivers with the cold And Johnny fears that he'll score no goal A cold old night till the mornin' CHORUS The threat of cold fills the pair with dread No nocturnal lovin', slinkin' home instead Till a bright idea enters Jenny's head And they're set to make love until the mornin' CHORUS For Jenny has a hat with a bobble sewn And it's over her ears she pulls it down And Johnny whispers "It's a crown And you'll be my queen till the mornin'" CHORUS Fye now Johnny, get up and run For the security guard is makin' a din The pair of us with nothing next our skin We'll be in jail in the mornin' CHORUS But Johnny says we'll stay our ground For I'll not be scared by that feeble clown If he lays a finger, then his face I'll pound Till his mother wouldn't know him in the mornin'! CHORUS |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:07 PM Geez Louise, That Goddess better show up soon -- there's so much talent overflowing around here, we'll drown on a single theme!! LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:40 PM Good one, Pus! Sonja |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Bradypus Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:15 PM Just because no-one else has used the tune, here's something to Ilkley Moor ...
Thy Yellow Bobble Hat
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:41 PM Genie, You are right, that bloody man is an unstoppable avalanche, he`s on another roll. Ard Mhacha. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:46 PM Well, I'm not gonna bother working this one through, but I can't resist posting this little snippet (with sincere[?] apologies to Carly Simon). Ad for The Oasis Village: "Our tourists jog at night with no pants on. Their naked butts shine in the dark... Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:03 PM A skit on "The Bonny Light Horseman" from "After The Break", thereby completing another album's worth of parodies … MY BLOODY GLIPE, THE WHORESMAN Ye wise maids and widows, pray listen to me To this sad tale I rehearse unto thee A maid in distress who will be a rover Her hub's rolled one too many young girls in the clover CHORUS Broken-hearted I'll wander Broken-hearted I'll remain For my bloody glipe, the whoresman Is at his tricks again It's three years and six months since first he started to a-whore My bloody glipe, the whoresman, I hope I never see him more He's mounted oh so many girls, he's easy and he's free And among the ranks of the wanton, respected is he CHORUS His boney oul' body I never could stand And glad I am today that he's vanished from the land He's gone to foreign countries with the lassie with the bobble She's gone away and scarpered with the source of all my trouble CHORUS The dove she laments for her mate as she flies But I couldn't give a bugger if he lives or if he dies For the dove that I once mated, the dove I loved the best Has flown away and left me after shitting in the nest CHORUS |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:50 AM A parody of "The Pursuit of Farmer Michael Hayes" from "After The Break", which presumes that Michael Hayes is transplanted to England. And rather than being a farmer, he is instead … Oh I'll let the song speak for itself! THE PURSUIT OF THE CHARMER MICHAEL HAYES I am a bold undaunted fox, that's never once been trapped or caught I've sowed my oats all over unbeknownst to my good wife Until of late I was betrayed, by a bobble-hatted blade And then I fled, so's to evade, a stabbing with a knife From Penrith Town to Windermere, in the Lakes I sought to disappear From there across the Pennines, in Whitby I did hide And then I took a steer due south, and crossed across the Humber's mouth (And remarked how many Mudcatters in Hull there do reside! We had a session in the Jug, I hardly dared to show my mug But at singing and the music I'm blessed with a little skill And dancin', aye and telling tales, and drinking gallons of real ale But off I've got to go again, she's closin' for the kill) Through the Midlands, like a hare, then on to Wales I did repair In Bristol Town I rested, I slept just like a log But up at dawn replete with rest, I journeyed to the south-and-west But all the while she tailed me, like a hunting-dog I had a surf off Newquay Beach (Ireland was just out of reach Or else I would have drifted to the land across the pond) And heading east I passed Stonehenge, and all the while she sought revenge She'd never give up on her chase, be it never mind how long In London Town I made a vow, no matter what, no matter how My fugitive existence would have to terminate I'd face the one to whom I'm wed, her sweet forgiveness I would beg And so it was by Tower Bridge I did await my fate "Michael Hayes, you're full of lies; tricks and cons and alibis The day I walked the aisle for you, is a day I sore regret" And out she pulled a knitting pin, she found my heart and plunged it in And I sank to the footpath and haven't got up yet There was great contentment on her face, as she walked from my resting-place The glow of satisfaction burned for many days This gory death that she's achieved has left her feeling much relieved To cause the termination of the charmer Michael Hayes |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:07 AM A parody of "The Rambling Siúler" from Planxty's "After The Break" THE HIGHLAND BOYS Oh, the Highland boys are headed south, we've crossed near sweet Carlisle And we're in need of a few stiff drinks after travelling many's the mile And so to the town of famed Penrith, the Highland boys repaired forthwith Our progress fast, our progress swift as befits all rambling siúlers We wound up in all sorts of bars, in all sorts of seedy places Until at last we chanced upon the country club "Oasis" "This looks like the sort of spot, a man could enjoy a decent shot Of beer that's cold and whiskey hot, to soothe the rambling siúler" And when at last the round was got, we were seated by the fire The serving lassie caught my eye, her form I did admire "Young lady fair, you've caught my eye; I do not wish to prod or pry But would you wish tonight to lie with this young rambling siúler" The other lads to giggling fell, that I should be so bold And thinking that the serving-lass would treat me mean and cold But oh, their looks of great surprise, when the serving-lassie flashed her eyes And said "Oh yes. That would be nice. Let's go, young rambling siúler!" And so we two did disappear into the trees and bushes And all night long upon her neck I planted kisses luscious And all night long her bobble bobbed, and in the morning my friends mobbed "Good man, you did a lovely job. God bless all rambling siúlers." |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:00 AM Also from "After The Break", "The Rambling Boys of Pleasure" lends itself very well to parodying in this thread … You ramblin' boys of pleasure pay heed unto these words I write I own I am a rover, in rambling I take great delight I cast my eye on a pretty girl and I lose all sense of self-control And so arose my sticky end, my last days I'll spend in the badger-hole It was to the woods near Penrith Town, that my love and I our way did tread The night bein' cold and the wind bein' keen, she kept her hat all on her head And I was lost in some deep rapture, and didn't even notice yet The tell-tale signs, the faults and tremors, around the mouth of the badger's sett Well my final thrust, inspired by passion, was the straw that broke the camel's back The earth gave way and I was falling into a chamber dark and black Where ever since I've been imprisoned, a once-grand home that the badgers left And my poor heart is forever breaking, forever more I am bereft I wish I was in Penrith Town, and my true love to be in heat We'd forsake the thought of the open-air, to my feather-bed we would retreat And I would play a handsome medley, upon its springs of tempered steel "The Blackberry Blossom", "Paddy Fahy's", "Junior Crehan's" and "The Dublin Reel" |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:27 AM Ah, Derry, ye've done it! No one can match this last poetic episode of yours! Wad some powr the giftie gie me The golden cowchip to award thee, 'twd to naen but thee be gi'en [is that how you spell it?] Especially for lines such as: "And in a woodland clearing we performed a timeless act In that leafy glade we two made the beast that has two backs." Genie (humbly owning to have been out-versed). |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:58 AM Oh no, I hear you groan. The bollix has decided to move on to another Planxty album! 'Fraid so, folks … A parody of "The Good Ship Kangaroo" as sung by Christy on "After The Break". THE BAD SHIP KANGAROO Once I was a naval man who sailed the stormy seas Now I am a landlubber, a life that doesn't please Cos I've always loved seafaring life and I'd love again to do The rounding of the Horn aboard the Good Ship Kangaroo CHORUS I never thought she would prove false Or either prove untrue And I stepped on shore at Fleetwood From the Good Ship Kangaroo In search of drink and women I tried a dozen places And ended up in Penrith at a joint called the Oasis And there I met a pretty maid and offered her a jar And then we had another in the basement cocktail bar One thing lead to another, as I had hoped it might She suggested that we go outside and I put up no fight And in a woodland clearing we performed a timeless act In that leafy glade we two made the beast that has two backs CHORUS But back in the Oasis, my darling disappeared And left me on my ownsome, with a half-drained glass of beer And I was taken prisoner as a squad of police descended "Young sailor blokey, to the chokey! You've been apprehended." CHORUS In the days and weeks that followed a sorry tale emerged They knew of a pornographic clique, it was high time for a purge The members operated from a lengthy list of places One of which was a hotel which goes by the name Oasis And there this clique assembled, with some flimsy alibi That they use closed circuit telly on badgers for to spy But all the time they're watching with no little fascination A string of naked couples in al fresco copulation CHORUS But what of the young female who lured me to my fate? The law made no arrest of her I'm sorry to relate For she was wise and well-prepared and knew the heat was on Before the cops were on their way, me fine young blade was gone And on the confiscated footage, my face was in plain view But she was skilled in subterfuge and knew just what to do As we undressed for action, that dirty little rat Over her fair features, pulled down her bobble hat CHORUS
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Argenine Date: 13 Jan 02 - 11:05 PM Bobbles, Booty, and Things Words: Argenine Tune: Baubles, Bangles, and Beads
Bobbles, booty, strange dangly things, dangle-dangle.
They're flashing their beams so |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 13 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM Thanks, Amos. Your "Grapevine" parody wasn't chopped liver, either! I'm afraid none of us can keep up with Derrymacash, though! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:30 PM Cracking up, Genie!! I can just hear Joan Baez singing it in that deeply feeling way she had for the real meaningful songs....LOL! We certainly are bringing out bushels of talent around here! A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:23 PM While we await the return of the goddess to health and to our presence, here's another humble offering. Genie Bare But For Sportin' Lyrics: Genie (Apologies to Phil Ochs) Show me the TV set in your room, Show me the channel that's closed-circuit (with a zoom), And I'll show you, lodgers, way upon the hill so high, That bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. We've showed you the alley cats and the squirrels; We've showed you lots of critters for your little boys and girls; A new show's now showin'--not sure the reasons why-- Where bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di. Hugh and Di. Have they had too much whiskey? Are their brains on the floor? Was it here from the barroom that they sprinted out the door? It's showin' on your TV That was meant for badger spies That bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. See? There's the forest where the snow starts to fall. See the two looney guests who've answered Nature's call? Wearin' just a bobble hat, silhouetted 'gainst the sky And bare-but for sportin', go Hugh and Di, Hugh and Di. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 06:49 PM Well, gang, I have bespoke the Goddess all beseechingly to return unto our humble altar and bless us anew with her presence and she says she will soon, a day or so, as soon as she recovers from YATIDA (a new acronym just coined for her especially, stands for Yet another Trauma-Inducing domestic Adventure) -- this one involving an effort to build a birdbath with 100-pound stones carried single handedly up a steep hill. She says her back is a little sore. Hmmmmmm....:>) Well, at least she is adding long-term resale value to the place. If she kills herself improving it, BBH will see the proceeds. Sigh....
A
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 12 Jan 02 - 04:12 PM Well, I'd be glad to help out with little "fixes" like this (i.e, help out in a Joe-clone capacity) if someone will tell me how to get the job. Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 02 - 02:23 PM Hey, Sonja -- this isn't a secretarial service or a literary agency!! I'd imagine the TGG has all she can handle with the volunteer work she's already doing!! No offense intended, sure, but, I'd leave it as I posted it, if I wuz you. A |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 12 Jan 02 - 02:16 PM Áine, It dawned on me in the middle of the night (sounds like a good c/w song title, eh?) that I missed the most obvious and maybe funniest pun for "The Rose of Tralee." Instead of "'Twas not her beautiful bod that won me," the line should be "'Twas not her booty alone that won me." Will you please make that change for me? Also, the first verse should read "The pale moon was rising above the white mountain, The guests were reclining to watch their TV's,"... (The line breaks in the song also need a couple of corrections.) If you or another Joe Clone make these changes to my original post, any subsequent posts of "On Badger TV" can be deleted. Thanks, Sonja |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Matthew Edwards Date: 12 Jan 02 - 01:57 PM Before derry starts on the remaining repertoire of Planxty, and BTW congratulations on your new job, I've just been reading the Oasis holiday brochure. It is of course unfair to the company, but in the light of the events so thoroughly described in this thread some of the wording in the brochure is delightfully tantalising: Oasis..."can provide...a recreational paradise" with "ample opportunity to indulge in some valuable downtime." The accommodation is "attractively laid out, well equipped"..."nature in its full glory surrounds you on all sides, and the views are unbeatable." "the serene beauty of the forest and the gentle ways of its inhabitants are an enormous part of the attraction for guests." "As most of us lead such stressful lifestyles, it's only natural to seek out moments of sheer, unadulterated indulgence..." Well I for one know where I'd like to hold the next Mudcat gathering, to view the "serene beauty of the forest" wearing only her bobble hat, and I could certainly do with indulging in some valuable downtime. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST,Calico Date: 12 Jan 02 - 04:59 AM Bare-Bottomed Carousers Words: Calico (Tune: Bell Bottom Trousers] Once there was a barmaid worked in Cumbria Couldn't stand to be confined by knickers, shirts, and bras. She met a fellow nudist staying at the inn. Who said, "One should be free, unfettered as the wind!" Late in the evening, as snow began to fall, Suddenly they got the urge to answer nature's call. Up to the hilltop with assets waving free They ran through the forests giggling with glee. CHORUS: Singing "Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue What the heck do we care? Darlin', I love you!" Now, unbeknownst to these two, th' Oasis had a plan To film Mother Nature with their critter cam. They've only got one channel in Cumbria, you see, And tourists need diversion and some levity. Just try to picture it-- the patrons in their beds, Expecting a badger, get a beaver shot instead! "Is this the nude Olympics or is it merely porn?-- Oh, no, it's just our waitress bare as she was born!" Chorus: "See the Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue On the badger cam tonight Making their debut!" Now the moral of the story as you can plainly see: You never know what folks will do to get on the TV! If you have a hotel, closed-circuit fills the bill For very little overhead, your guests may get a thrill! Chorus: "See the Bare-bottomed Carousers Cold and turning blue On the badger cam tonight Making their debut!" |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 05:19 PM Tables turn ... like worms! I'm drunk! Where's herself? Oiche mhaith |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:16 PM I love it, Derry! So many songs about the fair maid being left the morning after the dalliance. 'Bout time the tables were turned! Genie |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 11 Jan 02 - 06:14 AM Well done A Chara, all the way to the wee hole in the middle,[the middle of the Disc, yeh dorty git,]Slan Ard Mhacha. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 05:32 AM OK with the following parody of "Baneasa's Green Glade" I have *now* parodied every song from Planxty's "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night". What a labour of love it's been … Some of you have remarked on how prolific I've been of late. That's cos the job I'm doing at the minute is a wee bit "slack" … However ( and you, my friends on Mudcat, are among the first to know this) I have just been offered a new job. So at some stage in the near future I envisage having a lot less time to spend on song challenge!s. However, in the meantime, I'll go at it hammer and tong! PS when typing this out, I got confused in my mind's ear as to the tunes of Baneasa's Green Glades (which I don't much like) and Síle Ní Ghadhra as sung by Cathy Jordan of Dervish - which I *do* very much like. If you're familiar with the latter try singing the song to that air and see how well they gel! CUMBRIA'S GREEN GLADES When I was a youth in the prime of my life I never knew bother I never knew strife I rolled through the hay with the comeliest maids Or succumbed to their charms in Cumbria's green glades From the woods of Penrith to the town of Carlisle I travelled the county, aye mile after mile With the lassies I met, I sported and played And cuddled and kissed them in Cumbria's green glades Until one I met in a hat that was knitted And all on the top, a wee tassel fitted I said "You have beauty". She said "Looks will fade So before they do, take me in Cumbria's green glades" From the cool shades of evening, till up rose the sun We played and we sported, and always in fun Till up rose the damsel and straightaway made A path to her home though Cumbria's green glade "Oh pretty fair maiden, are you going away To leave me heart-sore at the dawn of the day" She sighed, "My young man, we have sported and played But now I must leave you in Cumbria's green glade" My poor heart was broken with anguish and pain As I thought my true love I may not see again "Did you not enjoy the love that we made At it like badgers in Cumbria's green glades?" "I did not enjoy, though I made lots of noise But my job in this life is to trap fair young boys And on closed-circuit telly our love games displayed To a load of oul' perverts in Cumbria's green glades" And so with these words she flitted like smoke The thought of her treachery near made me boke Never before have I been so betrayed By a pretty fair maid in Cumbria's green glade
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:49 AM A spoof on the words which Planxty sing on their version of "The Frost Is All Over". Which means that the only song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" which I haven't parodied in this thread is "Baneasa's Green Glade". Which, no offence to you, Andy, is my least favourite track on this album. Still … in the interests of a song challenge!, I'll give it a crack in a few minutes… I don't know what I was talking about above, there!!! What would you do if I tumbled you over? What would I do, only pull you on top. Would you perform in a woolly pullover? Not on your life, but a big wolly cap. The night it has come and the cameras are rolling Kitty lie over next to the tree You to be damp and me to be swollen Kitty lie over next to the tree Paddy, she says, you are rough as a badger Kitty lie over next to the tree I'll have me a shave just as soon as I've had 'ye (Groan!) Kitty lie over next to the tree
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:24 AM A parody of "The Green Fields of Canada", which means that in this thread to date I have parodied every song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night". THE NEW GREEN FIELDS OF CANADA Farewell to the girls in their warm and woolly bobble-hats Farewell to the girls of Cumbria all round May their hearts be as merry as ever I would wish them It's far, far away across the ocean I'm bound Oh my wife she is mad, oh my wife she is ripping To learn of my adventures it grieves her heart sore Oh the tears in great drops down her cheeks they are rolling And now she has banished me to a foreign shore What matters to me whether I am married? I had no inclination to be faithful to my wife On the green fields of Canada they daily are blooming It's there I'll put an end to my misery and strife Then it's pack up your sea stores and tarry no longer Since that cruel-hearted woman has driven you away There'll be lots of pretty girls in pretty woollen headwear To please a new arrival to Amerikay The badgers go unwatched and the TV crews abandoned The Oasis has closed down and the woods look all forlorn Away across the ocean, good hardy country stallions And those who shed their breeks in order to perform But I mind the time when my love life it was flourishing With girls in winter woollen hats, one and two and three But since my wedded wife was appraised of my unfaithfulness It's now she has driven me across the Western sea And now to conclude and to finish my ditty If a bobble-hatted damsel should ever pass my way To a spot of rowdy-dow I will treat her, and welcome, At home on the green fields of Amerikay
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:24 AM Áine, when you get back to us, Derry, Sonja and I have screwed up a few posts and had to repost 'em, so we've got a few duplicates to delete. (Mudself, if you get to 'em first, be our guests.) Genie P.S., You owe some people (notably Derry) a few B.L.O.B.s. Derry's about to bust a gusset coming up with all these gems! |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 04:29 PM Nice one ard mhacha ... maybe a wee bit of the Black Bush as well (and the odd nip of Cushendall poitin). |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: GUEST Date: 10 Jan 02 - 12:28 PM Derrymacash, It must have been the Nettle Champ the Pollens and the Porter, that weaned the ribald rants and rhymes, that lie below your Mortar. Ard Mhacha. |
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 10 Jan 02 - 11:54 AM Yet another parody of a song from Cold Blow And The Rainy Night – this time of "The Lakes Of Ponchartrain". THE GIRL IN THE BOBBLE-HAT It being a fine May morning I bid Penrith adieu And I took the road for Lancaster, my fortune to renew At the back of the Oasis, by the badger-hole, there sat The prettiest girl in all the world, the girl in the bobble-hat I sat myself beside her in the early-morning sun It was the depths of evening before I rose again The stranger 'came a friend to me in just ten minutes flat And I feel in love with the bonny girl in the bonny bobble-hat I said "My pretty maiden the omens here are good That I should chance to come upon such beauty in the woods" "You're welcome here kind stranger" and then bestowed a kiss "We never turn a stranger away in the woods around Penrith" She then removed her garments and treated me right well The hair around her shoulders in jet-black ringlets fell Naked as a baby upon the ground she sat Free of coat or vestment, save for her bobble-hat I asked her if she'd marry me, she said that could never be For she'd a love already, and he was far at sea She said that she would wait for him, although he was a prat To ever leave fair Penrith town and his maid in the bobble-hat So it's fare thee well me bonny young girl, our parting was for good But I'll not forget your kindness in the clearing in the wood For the local badgerologists filmed our love-play And they ran me off a copy and I watch it every day
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