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BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:04 PM Spaw: until I read Kendall's post where he refers to me as his "pretty", your comment about Cheney gave me the best laugh of the day! Kendall: maybe they didn't laugh when Henry Knox choked on a chicken bone, but there probably would be some who declared that Henry should have followed his mother's advice and chewed his chicken before swallowing it! They would be Democrats, of course. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:42 PM DougR: Are you on Junior's payroll, or what? Or are you 7 or 8 people who man Catsburg. This must be very exhausting, you know, sitting in front of a puter just about your entire life waiting for someone to say something bad about Junior so you can jump in and yell, "Hey, Junior (excuse me...ahh... GWB) is the best thing that ever happened to the United States... Nevermind... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Tweed Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:49 PM DougR, give me a hand here and we'll get ol' Boberdz duct taped up for his own safety. This whole dang pretzel story has driven him over the edge and he can't be blamed for bein' more delusional than normal....hand me that upright bass and we'll just secure him to that for a couple days 'til this thing blows over...deep breaths now Boberdz...good air in..bad air out.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:55 PM DougR, I'd think they'd be Republicans or Whigs. Were there such things as Democrats back then? Ken Burns, where are you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:45 PM George Washington was a Federalist. As I recall, Thomas Jefferson was a Democratic Republican. Whatever that is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:10 PM Well ya know, the way that the young shrub can convolute the truth (There are no innocent people on death row in Texas). The thing that surprises me is that the pretzel ever got lodged in his throat in the first place. I would have thought that even one of those Pennsylvania soft pretzels would have fitted perfectly, and gone down whole with no trouble at all. LEEJ, you say "Unless you consider the average guy a dumbass." well at least half (or almost half) of them must be 'cos they voted for him. Sharonmedarlin' It's funny that you should mention the Presidential library. I was reading in the paper TODAY that after leaving the governorship of Texas he placed all his record in Daddy Bush's Presidential library instead of making them public as Texas law requires. I wonder why? Bert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Rick Fielding Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:16 PM No No Bert! "He placed all his records in his daddy's library" because he'd burned them onto CDs. Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:34 PM Nah! he wouldn't have done THAT, that's ILLEGAL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Amos Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:23 AM Well, he did do it, see, but he didn't actually inhale..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:27 AM Tweed: how about that gigantic banjo in one of the current threads, instead of an upright bass? That would be far more creative, wouldn't it? Doug |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: M.Ted Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:29 AM With every retelling, the story gets more elaborate--of course the problem is that W's face has been re-arranged considerably--It occurs to me that if he choked on anything, it was Enron- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Lonesome EJ Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:33 AM Well, bert, that IS the hell of it, ain't it. George W IS an average guy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:38 AM Was it Steven Wright who said that "Half the population is below average"? - I suppose we could add, that we know which half. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes Date: 15 Jan 02 - 03:53 AM As the true and onlie begetter of this thread, I'll just run over my policy statement once more. I don't make personal attacks on people. If Mr B really were a moron, for example, I would never make fun of his low intelligence. However, he is a politician ("an ass upon which everyone has sat except a man"--e. e. cummings), and he chose to be a politician--it's not an affliction, and doesn't automatically command respect. I must apologise to Jenna: in my earlier post I inadvertantly suggested she's been a great worry to her father by lumping her in with Euan Blair and Prince Harry; sorry Jenna, that wasn't what I meant! I've got kids, and I was one myself once; it's all part of growing up, isn't it? Jenna, I'm sincerely sorry your dad (and you) had such an unpleasant scare, and I'm sincerely glad he's OK. But we can continue to make fun of The President now. See the difference? Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 02 - 05:04 AM Tweed, I think you'd make better use of the duct tape and bass over at the White House...for about 3 years...just stand him in a corner, taped to it, and feed him baby food. The whole idea that he is supposed to be the leader of the free world is such a joke, in and of itself....I don't have a pretzel, but I sure feel like pukin' every time I read something or hear something about him! Don't puppets ever get put back in the toy box? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Al K Hall Date: 15 Jan 02 - 07:34 AM Is it a measure of progress that the USA used to have a president who couldn't chew gum and walk at the same time and now has a president who can't watch TV and eat at the same time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Greg F. Date: 15 Jan 02 - 08:16 AM Wasn't a pretzel at all- it was one of the whopping great lies he's accustomed to tell that choked him- caught him unprepared.. He's the same as he ever was- the man just cannot go to the bathroom without pissing on his shoes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: WyoWoman Date: 15 Jan 02 - 08:37 AM Well, LEJ, I'd love to accept your version of the whole thing because I really do want to believe the best of people and also because imagining Dubya in his tightie whities is sort of cute. But frankly, I ain't buying it. The truth will out, one of these days and we'll find out what really happened -- either he got smashed or stoned and tripped, or ... something. But 20 years as a reporter and I smell such a rat. Here's the research project I'D be doing if I were still a reporter: Has anyone EVER passed out like this before? What's the medical literature say? (I mean, do any of YOU know of anyone who's swallowed something the wrong way and fallen over in a heap for just seconds?) And, I don't know about your dogs, but my dogs would have been right over me the second I even made a move, particularly if there had been the possibility of food falling anywhere in their vicinity. Even if I just dropped to the carpet for a couple of seconds, they'd have been front and center. And particularly if I"d fallen hard enough to hit something and cause scrapes on my FACE!!! I mean, Jayzuz, that's quite a fall. I've never met a dog in my life who'd just sit there watching and not even come over to see how the old boy was doing. Maybe he has stuffed dogs and doesn't want to mention THAT part of it. At any rate, there are holes in this story big enough to drive a lorrie through and I cannot believe the media is going to let this pass. My theory? He has had a substance abuse problem in the past and those are thorny problems that don't go away just because you gain control of them for a while. Maybe the pressure of the job has gotten to him, or he was feeling celebratory because of his great approval ratings and he took a few snorts. OR he has a health problem that either he's not willing to face up to himself, or that he and his minions are purposely concealing from the public. Meanwhile, the story about him calling for fast-track trade approval and for America to step up its export of food to other countries seems to be sliding in under the radar of the media and the American people. More NAFTA, more GATT, less ability for citizens to control their destiny. More food exports = more exploitation of land and aquifers that need to be treated kindly + less attention to enabling and partnering with other countries to cultivate their own food sources and keep their populations low. The Wizard is behind the curtain again, pulling those levers and dials and no one's asking exactly what this means beyond the most superficial slice at it. I swear to God, I'm leaving for the Planet Where Things Make Sense as soon as I can get this damned transponder fixed. Anyone want to go along? ww |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA Date: 15 Jan 02 - 09:23 AM WyoWoman: Me! Me! *G* bert (re: the library): LOL! Amos (re: inhaling): ROFLMAO! M Ted (re: Enron): CWL - Choking With Laughter! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall Date: 15 Jan 02 - 09:27 AM I believe he passed out and fell, the pretzel thing might be a lie to cover up a serious illness. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Date: 15 Jan 02 - 09:52 AM Katlaughing & Tweed: Thanks guys, Here I was having this terrible dream last night about being adbucted and carried off only to wake up in one corner of the Oval Office duct taped to a big banjo and Junior right next to me duct taped to a stand up bass!!!.... And I'm here to say that if I didn't have that box cutter in my pocket that I got at the airport magazine shop I'd still be there. Anyway, I left ol' Junior taped to the bass (hey, that's kinda catchy...taped to the bass...nevermnind). He didn't look to good at all and smelled like he'd been drinking half the night...I reckon I ought to call someone to make sure he's okay... As for the duct taping ol' bobert thinks things are a little more civilized around here. At least they ducttape you to musical instruments rather than nasty potty chairs... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Desdemona Date: 15 Jan 02 - 10:39 AM I think all Dubyah's food should be pureed for the remainder of his term, just to be on the safe side. I've been extolling the virtues of beer as a "health drink" for years, but now it should be apparent to everyone that it's also important for the safety of those who snack! Not only is it loaded with essential vitamins & minerals, it was practically designed to ease the passage of pretzels through the esophagus! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 02 - 10:56 AM WyoWoman, I'm right there with you, transponder and the holes through the story. I think you got it in one! Bobert...what can we do to ensure that you continue to have such sweet dreams?**BG**
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:36 PM WW: Don't you think that if there were "more" to this story than the public has been told that the White House would have come up with something less creative than swallowing a pretzel? Examples: He was sleep walking and walked into a wall. He encountered Osma bin Laden in the pantry while searching for the peanutbutter and they got into a fist fight. There was a temporary electrical outage at the White House and GWB bumped into Cheney when he dashed up the stairs from his bomb shelter to see why the lights went out. Bush bumped his head on the headboard while perfoming one one of his husbandly benefits. I just think the pretzel story is just too outrageous not to be true. As to whether it has happened to others, evidently it has. I watched an interview with a doctor on either CNN or Fox News Network who indicated it was not an unusual occurance, although not always due to a pretzel. But I won't rain on your parade folks. Have fun! :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:55 PM That's pretty creative for you, Doug! More! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: M.Ted Date: 15 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM I am surprised that some folklorist has not collected these "morning after" stories--They are a bit like the stories that cracked-out panhandlers tell--they hold together for about five minutes after you've given them some money--
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The Walrus at work Date: 15 Jan 02 - 01:20 PM On the other hand Doug, it could be good camouflage. I present you with this as a spin doctor/propagandist's train of thought (the notes in brackets are mine).
"Here we have a man who is perceived (NOTE: we are talking perception, not necessarily truth<1>) as acting occasionally like he is a sandwich short of a picnic. He has a problem wich may or may not be serious so, if we give the press an excuse which sounds outlandish, then people will laugh, make a few jokes and look no further, if we give them a believable excuse, people might start to worry and look into the matter. Bring on the pretzels."
Absolutely no evidence, just a feeling. Walrus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The Walrus at work Date: 15 Jan 02 - 01:23 PM Sorry, the foot note in my last post should have read <1> Truth and perception are often poles apart. Walrus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 15 Jan 02 - 03:12 PM Mebbe so, Walrus, mebbe so. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,rustic-rebel Date: 16 Jan 02 - 12:30 AM *you are all very amusing. Thanks *Wyowomen-Jr said he fell on his glasses and they cut his face. Curious to me. Anyway the proof is in the pretzel pudding (I suppose it's pudding now after being dissolved by spit) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA Date: 16 Jan 02 - 09:23 AM rustic-rebel: By NOW it's Presidential poop! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Charley Noble Date: 16 Jan 02 - 01:41 PM Maybe I missed this in scanning the above threads. Just imagine, Dick Cheney, a pretzel away from becoming President. Damn, no, McGrath beat me to it. How about "a dogbreath's away from President"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Jan 02 - 02:49 PM "I just think the pretzel story is just too outrageous not to be true."
That would be the idea of thinking it up if it wasn't true. All really experienced liars know that a good lie has to be a bit bizarre. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Jan 02 - 03:52 PM This is the kind of thing that makes me very glad I'm not an elected politician...or even an unelected one. As for the fist fight in the pantry with Osama...well, yeah, Dubya took a nasty shot upside the eye...but you shoulda seen the other guy! :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:11 PM L.H.: I think he hit him with a pretzel. That's what did the REAL damage. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Ebbie Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:23 PM But the pretzel was inside him. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Rollo Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:47 PM WyoWoman, to help you with your researches: I know of someone who's swallowed something the wrong way and fallen over in a heap for just seconds. This one is me. We were sitting together with friends and I was eating a hot dog when someone made a joke. I started laughing and choked on a piece of rosted onion. I still remember I was giggling like hell and choking in the same moment, next I was lying sideways on the floor, having BRUISED MY HEAD on the table corner. Everyone was quiet and looked at me. I was quite amazed why there was noone laughing anymore. They told me "Roland, don't you do this no more, right?" They said I had started wobbling like mad and my face had turned dark-red, then I had sunk sideways to the floor, where I spend nearly a minute in spasms before I choked out the damned onion. Everyone had been so terrified they hadn't even moved. the HIGH SUPREME RULER OF THE WORLD may be Mister WRONG PERSON FOR THE JOB himself but his story sounds completely all right by me. Also there is nothing you can laugh about wich such incident. My hot dog was nearly uneaten when I dropped it on the floor. Shame for the waste. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:30 PM He didn't swallow it the wrong way, and he didn't choke. He swallowed it the right way, but the pretzel piece was too big and it got stuck in the correct passage. According to the doctor I saw explaining this, the pretzel (painfully stuck in the correct passage) stimulated the vagus nerve which slowed W's heart rate and rendered him unconscious. Now here's the part that I, personally find very suspicious (and a little disturbing)... On the very same day that Mr. B. got that pretzel stuck in his throat, perhaps even at the same time, I got a big honking vitamin pill stuck in my throat. I didn't pass out, but it hurt like hell. Could this be some kind of conspiracy? Hmmm....
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:37 PM Now if ol' Dubya' had just had a different pet instead of his stupid dogs............Maybe something like this guy had...emphasis on HAD!
Pet Lizards Eat Man DOVER, Delaware: Several flesh-eating pet lizards were found feasting on the corpse of their owner in his US apartment, police have said. Police were called to Ronald Huff's apartment in Newark, Delaware, after a relative became worried because Huff failed to show up for work, investigators said. Officers found Huff's body on the floor, with his pet Nile monitor lizards feeding on his flesh. The state medical examiner is investigating the cause of death. Huff, 42, had last been seen on Sunday, New Castle County police said. Workers with the Delaware Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals recovered seven lizards, the largest over 1.8 metres long and weighing 11.34 kg. "They're alive and well," said SPCA director John Caldwell. He added that one of the reptiles recovered was acting aggressively, "actually going toward you, mouth open". Caldwell said the lizards have small but very sharp teeth and muscular, whip-like tails that can seriously injure a person. In the wild, they eat eggs, birds and other animals, he said. "In captivity, we feed them raw chicken and liver. You can also feed them hard-boiled eggs," he said. The lizards are considered exotic pets in Delaware and cannot be acquired without a permit from the state Department of Agriculture. State veterinarian Dr HW Towers said the department stopped issuing such permits for New Castle County residents in 1997 after the county passed an ordinance to stop the proliferation of exotic pets.
Okay Gang---Cough up some bucks to send these lizards to George!!!!Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:58 PM Were do I send my contribution, Spawzer? And, heck, lets just atke up a big enough collection to send man eating lizzards to everyone whose is in line to take the throne until we come to one with a three digit I.Q. I realize that's a lot of lizards but.... Speaking of lizards, one day remind me to tell you about the lizard that Rufus used to own, or vic versa.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 18 Jan 02 - 12:04 AM Carol C: It didn't turn you into a Republican did it? :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:02 AM Maybe not Doug, but I think she should stay away from buying a lizard. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Date: 18 Jan 02 - 01:44 PM I wholeheartedly agree, Spaw. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:07 PM No, DougR, it didn't. Vitamins are for pinkos like me. Pretzels are for Republicans. ...and I'm going to be a good girl and not post a treatise on all the ways in which a blood thirsty, human flesh eating, cold blooded lizard is like a Republican. I mean, that wouldn't be sporting, would it? It's just too easy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC Date: 18 Jan 02 - 03:27 PM Ooohhh... did I say that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:10 PM Be fair to the lizards, if you drop dead in a locked room with a dog or cat, it is going to start chewing on you when it gets hungry enough.
Given time, those pooches that looked on with interest when Bush keeled over, would have done the same.
I still think it sounds a lot like the open door that people blame when the bruises get a bit too obvious. As I said, if he'd died, would anyone have believed the pretzel theory?
King John was supposed to have died from "a surfeit of lampreys" which was widely taken to have meant he had been poisoned. But a surfeit of pretzels? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jan 02 - 04:14 PM It's not so evil of family pets to eat the dead body of their former owner...they know perfectly well that the living personality who was the owner is not in there anymore, and they are practical enough to dispose of the body, rather than leave it lying around to decay. Totally sensible. They're just not so sentimental as humans. Remember that story about the woman who kept her decaying wedding cake for years and years, mouldering away in her room? No animal would be silly enough to do such a thing. Lizards, on the whole, are quite likeable...except for Cheech Wizard, that is. He's a depraved scumbag. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: jup Date: 19 Jan 02 - 06:41 PM Did it happen before or after he herd about Prince Harry? They say he was watching football. Can football be that exciting afterall it's a game not a sport. I think he was checking out Mudcat and it all got to much for him.Anyway the world had a lucky escape. Who can remember Mr.Creasoat from Monty Python. Just a thought. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Date: 19 Jan 02 - 07:18 PM Well gawd knows that could be the truth! Maybe he read that Neil Young got that simpleass award. Dubya may be stupid, but even HE could see the irony in the writer of "Ohio" falling into Bushbaby's scheme. People for the American Way, which once described the goal of the PMRC censors as "to bring children and parents together on music selection," gave Neil Young its Spirit of Liberty award at a December 11 Beverly Hills banquet. Young used the occasion to proclaim his support of the USA/Patriot Act, which became law on October 26. "To protect our freedoms," Young said, "it seems we're going to have to relinquish some of our freedoms for a short period of time." I'm thinking of closing the NYCFTTS. Fuck Neil and the crazy horse he rode in on! The CIA thing I joked about now sounds like an all too real possibility. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: WyoWoman Date: 19 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM I think the home definitely should stay open. It now has truly earned its name. Neil YOung IS terminally screwed ... ww |