BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama

Subject: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:24 AM

I heard on the news this morning that President Bush fainted after choking on a pretzel. Several thoughts clamoured at once for attention as I listened:
Did it "go down the wrong way", as claimed by the White House, or was it pushed?
That's an unconstitutional way of assassinating a president; the proper traditional is by shooting.
There ought to be a song in this, like "They tell me Mr Dubya's been [insert suitable word] down, low down".

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. One that's just occured to me while writing this is: maybe they'll name a cartoon animal after him (you know, like Garfield)--what might it be?I wait with baited breath [oops--bad taste!]

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:31 AM

I mean bated breath, of course!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:37 AM

Maybe he's just trying to one-up his old man's puking act!
Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:47 AM

Ain't it great? The old man barfs up some Chinese noodles and the kid chokes on a pretzel.........What a pair. I bet both of them would have croaked if they'd been given one of Monica's blow jobs.

Have a seegar boys.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:57 AM

Aw, Spaw, you always have such insight!
Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:30 AM

Blimey, Spaw--don't you ever sleep? It's 10.30 in the morning her, so it must be the midde of the night over there!

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:31 AM

Or are you baking more pretzels?

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:50 AM

Spookily enough, the episode of 'The Simpsons' last Friday on BBC2 was the pretzel franchise one... Anybody got a copy of the Daily Telegraph Crossword? Any coded references in the clues? (special bonus 250 points to anybody who can decipher that obscure reference, from the master of obscure references)

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:31 AM

According to the BBC, he was watching an Ameruican Football game at the time, I maintain he just passed out from boredom (changing teams every couple of minutes - ye gods, how can they play thay way?<1>)

Dai, Could your references have anything to do with words like "Overlord" and "Mulberry" appearing in crossword puzzles just before D-Day?

Regards

Walrus

<1> If that doesn't lead to thread creep or a new pro- American Football thread.....

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: GUEST,Al K Hall
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:53 AM

He should take some lessons from his daughters. Pretzels are designed to be washed down with beer. No beer - no pretzels. Either that or the Bush matrons just don't teach their sons how to eat properly. Puking up noodles and choking on pretzels - what ways are these for heads of states to behave?

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Bagpuss
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:58 AM

Given that he called the Pakistani people "Pakis" only the other week, one wishes he would choke on his words rather than his snacks.

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:03 AM

Walrus - Iiiiiiiiiiiin One!! (could this be another obscure reference? egad)

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:25 AM

Bullseye, Dai!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:04 AM

Keep out of the black, and in the red, you get Fibula Mattock for two in a bed!

All things are true. Even false things. Hail Eris!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:14 AM

All Hail Discordia!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: GUEST,Jenna Bush
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:26 AM

You people are clever making fun of other people's misfortunes. You should all be very proud of yourselves.

Catspaw49, you're the most despicable. You use this forum to elict support and sympathy when you're sick and then make fun of other people's illnesses. Shame on you.

My Dad has the highest approval rating of any American president in history. Not many of you will ever actually accomplish anything beyond your or so clever put-downs.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:34 AM

Jenna? What's the truth about you buying booze underage there? I mean, isn't that ILLEGAL and all? shucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:40 AM

I think it's probably not inaccurate to say, Jenna, that most--if not all--of us are sympathetic towards Jenna's dad, or Ewan Blair's dad, or Harry Windsor's dad; but few of us are sympathetic to The President, or The Prime Minister, or The Prince of Wales: politicians choose to put themselves forward for election, and obtain their public offices through their own motivation; they do not have politics thrust upon them. I can probably think of a suitable argument for people who do have princedoms thrust upon them, but my b*llsh*t allowance for today has nearly run out.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: DougR
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:01 PM

Ok, fess-up time. Who sent the pretzel to Bush? Spaw? Kendall? kat? Toad? Dai? GUEST?

The Secret Service has it's ways, you know. *BG*

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:02 PM

Al K Hall: According to this ABC News report – The Pretzel Incident – Dubbya is quoted as saying, "My mother always said, 'When you're eating pretzels, chew before you swallow. Always listen to your mother." So the problem is, apparently, that the Bush men don't follow the advice of the Bush women. My guess is that the elder Bush was told as a boy at his mama's knee, "Now, Georgie, when you get the flu, don't you go to any banquets with leaders of other countries and throw up all over them."

The report also says that Dubbya estimates that he was unconscious for only a few seconds because his dogs had not moved from the positions they were in when he fainted. The dogs were, however, "looking at him funny." I find it highly significant that the dogs didn't try to wake him or run to get help Lassie-style. I imagine they were hoping against hope that Daddy Dubbya wouldn't get up, so that Mommy Laura would take them home to their Texas ranch before they met the same fate as Clinton's dog Buddy.

Just a theory....

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: M.Ted
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:10 PM

"I choked on a pretzel and passed out" is right up their with "I tripped on the dog" "I'm on this medication that makes me stagger around incoherently" for those morning explanations for bruises, breaks, and bad hehaviour--

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:15 PM

sooooo close...

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:25 PM

...but so far...

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:53 PM

Ted, I had a bit of that thought myself. We had a mayor in Columbus who was stopped by the police driving erratically at 3 in the morning. The fact that he had just left an illegal after hours joint (witnessed by the patrolman) and was obviously smashed was only highlighted more when he stepped from his car, fell to his knees scraping his chin on the pavement, and as he stood said, "I'm not drunk, I'm just inspecting the city!"........yeah, at very close range.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:58 PM

We were awoken with this riveting news story when our alarm went off at 6.30 this morning; imagine our shock at Ol' Dubyah doing something STUPID! How, oh how will he manage to keep the world safe from Evil-Doers for all us Innocent Folks if he can't even learn to chew his food properly?!

You just know that somewhere Osama's laughing his ass off; what a pity that we ever had to find ourselves in such a crisis situation, and that we had to have such a buffoon in the White House when we did! Last week there was all this brouhaha here in Massachusetts about him being here to discuss---of al things---education reform. the only conceivable context in which he could be taken seriously on such a subject would be as an example of how the old approach didn't work! "Now lookee here,folks, I'm a product of the old system; now you take a good look & tell me it ain't time to make some (cough!) changes!"

Aye yi yi yi yi!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:01 PM

Say Jenna, I read in another thread that you wanted to party with Prince Harry. If you have the same problem your Dad and Grandfather do, then I think you need to have a heart to heart with Monica Lewinsky or Linda Lovelace beforehand.....pick up a few "tips"..so to speak.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: GUEST,Butch at work
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:05 PM

Why don't you all just shut the hell up! The President of the United States (no matter who he or she may be at any given time) deserves better than to wish that person dead or to joke about it. I never liked Pres. Clinton, but I never joked that he should die! I never wished that tragedy on either his family or his country. I'm afraid that you have shown your true colors here folks. You seem to be petty, nasty and self rightous people. Funny, that's what you accuse Republicans of being.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM

For the record, regardless of his politics, I think Dubyah's a moron, and it would make no difference to my opinion if he were a Democrat, an Independent, or a space alien! I don't think anyone here actively "wishes him dead"; it was just another rather undignified moment in his presidency, one that I'm sure will be duly recorded in the history books along with his other great achievemenst (rigging a presidential election's gotta rank right up there, though his term is admittedly young). You must forgive us for being unable to resist the temptation to rag on him: he makes it too easy, it's like shooting fish in a barrel!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:27 PM

I'll offer a mixed signal to the discussion. Butch-at-work has a rather in-your-face finger-pointing way of stating himself that I would normally set aside as partisan, and I find Bush pretty darned contemptible, but even I, a liberal democrat, have trouble picking on him for choking. It's not like no one of us has never choked on anything before, or felt pretty stupid about it afterward. I'll pick on Bush for his voluntary stupidity, not his involunatary accidents.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: DougR
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:39 PM

Gee, I don't know, Sage, I don't any of these fine folks here on the Mudcat ever had a similar experience. Mebbe, but I doubt it. They chew everything up real good before swallowing, I think. *BG*

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:44 PM

Butch: Desdemona's right that I, for one, don't wish Bush dead but, you're right, I shouldn't joke about it. Sorry.

However, I do wish he weren't President. I consider it a tragedy for this country that he is. You're right that it's not good for the nation when any President dies in office from any cause, so I guess we the people are just going to have to do everything we can to minimize the damage Bush can cause till his term (Presidential or lifespan, whichever comes first) is up.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:52 PM

er-who's President Bush? (Is he a friend of that nice Mr Blair -international politician and roving world ambassador?)

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 02:25 PM

•Jenna,
So glad to have you with us at Mudcat!

As for your dad having "the highest approval rating of any American president in history," how the heck could anyone know that? I don't know if there even polls in our first president George's day. (Didn't folks want to make him king?)

Modern sampling techniques and mass media make the appraisal of public opinion a whole different beast than it was even in the early part of the 20th C.

• SharonA

Didn't Dubya recently say he didn't like Barbara's cooking? Maybe that's why he disregarded her advice to chew ...


•Butch at work
I think you're missing an important point. George W. didn't die or require a great deal of medical attention.
We're not really laughing at his misfortune, because he doesn't seem to have suffered anything more than a brief scare. He's on TV right now, laughing about it himself!

(BTW, mean-spiritedness toward one's political adversaries is not limited to one side of the political spectrum. A tree-sitter recently fell from his perch here in Oregon, after being harrassed into staying awake for days. He nearly died and he suffered major injuries. The right-wing talk shows were deluged with jokes about it and folks saying it was a just punishment for disrupting business. I won't paint all "conservatives" or Republicans with that brush, and I don't want to turn this thread into a who-is-meaner argument. Suffice it to say there are jerks at all points of the political spectrum.)

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: michaelr
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 02:38 PM

Does it strike anyone as weird that Jenna Bush would visit the mudcat? Has the Prez directed his family to scan the web for unfavorable comments about him? Must we fear repercussions???
Jenna, please explain what you're doing here.
~Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: DougR
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:24 PM

Michael: that's the funniest post I've read on the Mudcat in quite a spell. I wish I had thought of it. Terrific!*BG*

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Don Firth
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 03:41 PM

Been drinkin' again, eh, Jenna? Fer cryin' out loud, give your old man a beer so he can wash the pretzels down!

small(I know what drew her here. The "Beer" thread.)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Gareth
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:35 PM

OK sympathy and worse for The Presidfent, but hows the Pretzel doing ?

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:49 PM

Good question, Gareth. If Bush managed to "bring it up", he could display it when he opens his Presidential library. If not, we'll have to settle for the bag it came in.

I'm sure the product will be recalled as a choking hazard, so I'm guessing that the pretzels that are on the shelves now will become collector's items. I hope the manufacturer is a major snack-food company that can take this kind of economic blow, not some mom-and-pop start-up that'll be shut down. This could end up being Enron 2!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:25 PM

The whole thing must have scared the hell out of Laura, who was in the next room talking on the phone.

Mow, contrary to what others have said, this incident doesn't make George W look like a dumbass to me. After all, it happened in private. I get a grin out of the whole situation. He's sitting alone, watching the football game. I like that. I can see him in his underwear on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. He notices the dogs, because the damn things are like all other dogs...sitting staring intently at him, hoping he drops a piece of pretzel. He chokes on the pretzel, falls on the floor, and comes to noticing the dogs are still in the same position, staring at him! To me, the whole thing makes him look like an average guy, not a dumbass. Unless you consider the average guy a dumbass. It kind of points out one of the hazards of being a reformed alcoholic, though. Pretzels are meant to be consumed with beer! If George had an ice cold Bud, or even a Celi's, on the coffee table, none of this would have happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 06:09 PM

On the other hand, this whole story could be a cover-up to explain the bruises and scratches. The truth may be that Laura is smackin' Dubbya around the way Hilary used to go at Bill Clinton (and probably still does).

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:11 PM

If he had died would anyone have believed the pretzel explanation?

I don't mean to say that it might not in fact be true, but would anyone have actually believed it?

In future I imagine instead of saying teh VP is a heartbeat away from the preidency, thye'll be saying he is a Pretzel away. And the Speaker, isn't it, who's a Pretzel and a heartbeat away?

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:26 PM

Yeah, well Dick Cheney's running about as low in the heartbeat department as I am and in that case, the Speaker is pretzel and half a heartbeat away.

Jokes aside, I would never and have never wished for the death or illness of another human being, but Dick Cheney is one GREAT reason to pray for the good health and well being of Dubya!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Gareth
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:56 PM

SharonA: I think you might be on to something but I don't think it's Laura. I think there's a possibility that Junior has fallen off the wagon... ahh... and the couch.

Jenna: Please don't have your daddy bomb the Cafe because of Catspaw. We've been working on his medication levels, plus, last I heard, he's dieting.

Spawz: Chill, brother. What, you trying to get the joint bombed, or what? You're just mad 'cause Junior can have pretzels while you're locked in the battle of the buldge with the Hippie Chick.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:20 PM

Hmmm...I think he was drunk and got frisky with the first Lady and she knocked the crap outta him. That's the way them girls are down in Texas. And is there a a Doctor in the Cafe? Is there a "nerve" in the back of a person's throat that when pressure is applied will actually cause unconsciousness? Could Monica have been affected in a similar way by this unusual phenomenon? The pretzel story is a total fabrication I believe. You can always tell when Li'l Buck is liein' cause his lips start movin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:22 PM

Here are the fellas with the smoking gun - Pretzel Time

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:23 PM

What impressed me is that he finally learned one should chew one's food. Lesson learned!! Touchdown!! I am sure Barbara is very relieved.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:24 PM

Well, everyone knows how I feel about Dubbya, and, although some of these posts have been funny, what you have posted ABOUT is not funny! I'm sorry, but, I cant join the "fun". Besides, Dubbya's death would put Cheney in the driver's seat, and that's not funny either. BTW, G. Washington's Secretary of War, Henry Knox, choked to death on a chicken bone, most people didn't laugh then either. Jenna, the fact is, a high approval rating does not make him a genius.Who are you really?

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:00 PM

Tweed: You got Florida mixed up with Texas. You see, in Florida, yes, the women have been known to knock the crap out of their partners after sex, but in Texas... the man is supposed to throw the old lady around the trailer before, during or after the act (...or any combination of the three). It's a Texas custom. Might explain why there ain't no doorknobs on bedroom doors of about a quarter of Texas's adult male population... Ahhh, what's that dark spot under your eye, Tweedster. Nevermind. (Hey Rufe, Tweed got lucky last night...)

Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:02 PM

Kendall, as I said before, the best reason to wish all the best to GW is Dick Cheney......a rather frightening prospect to be sure. About ten years back I was lucky enough to actually save a guy's life with the Heimlich. When it worked, I was as surprised as anyone! But the two first aid skills that everyone should take the time to learn are CPR and the Heimlich.

Spaw