BS: I am an alchoholic

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Jimmy C
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 01:24 AM

Please get help soon. This is a disease and a sneaky one at that. I have known a person who was an alcoholic before he even had his first drink. The very firt drink and he was hooked, honestly. No one knows for sure what affect alcohol will have on them. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is a disease like many others. You are on the right road by recognising this affliction, now please go and do something about it. Sincere best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Guest, another friend of Bill W.
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 12:10 AM

Admitting you have this desease is indeed the first step.

AA doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me. (hence the anonymous post.) Took a long time too. Lots of meetings where I couldn't stand what I heard. WAAAYYY too many born again Christian types. Way too many whose stories I couldn't relate to. Finally I realized that I better take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth, cuz I was sick of drinking and drugging, and what I was doing wasn't working. I stopped looking for all the ways I was different from those other bums (I nearly died from terminal uniqueness) One night I heard some one say that a high bottom drunk is one who wears their ass on top of their shoulders and recognized myself. I had admitted I was an alcoholic, but because I hadn't committed a felony, lost a job or a family or slept in a flop house I took awhile to recognize that my life had become unmanageable. Been sober 17 years now. Those 12 steps are a good plan for trying to live effectively on this earth for anyone. They were not invented with AA.

If you can afford treatment, get it. If not--you need alot of support and AA is the only place I know where you can get it for the price of admitting you are an alcoholic.

Now, believe it or not, I am not one of those people who think AA is the only way. It's just the most accessible way for most people. The ingredients for continued sobriety are not drinking, no matter what, and learning healthy skills for living life on life's terms. It takes decision, support, teachers and commitment. You have to make the decision and find the commitment to yourself within yourself. You are much more likely to be successful in sticking with your decision and maintaining your commitment with support. The psychological reasons or physical suceptibility behind your addiction are inmaterial to recovery. Whether you never had the effective living skills, or lost them during your years of reliance on alcohol, you have to acquire them now. You need teachers and support to do that. If you are a heavy drinker and are at risk for withdrawal or DT's don't stop abruptly without medical supervision.

I'm glad you posted. You have begun the journey.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: momnopp
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 12:02 AM

Dear Guest,

Thank you for your post. It is a bold thing to stand up and say, "I'm human, I'm hurting, I need other people, will you please help me?" You may never know the full ramifications of your opening the floor to discussion. Someone reading the thread may decide that, based on YOUR bravery, s/he can also stand up and ask for help.

There have been many people in my life who suffer from mental illness, but I am only just beginning to learn about alcoholism in a close, personal relationship.

AA is a fellowship and different groups have very different "personalities", from what I understand. In the area where I live, there are smoking and non-smoking meetings, meetings in English, in Spanish, for gays, lesbians, "dual diagnosis" (mental illness PLUS alcoholism) people; morning, noon and night every day of the week.

From what I'm seeing, success with the program (any program) is about feeling that YOU are worthwhile. The love has to start from the inside; you've got to begin to believe that you are valuable and worth the effort. And then begin to rebuild.

Keep up the courageous work and remember to be gentle with yourself.

Peace,

JudyO

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,CC Rider
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:33 PM

Dump this girl-friend - find another, who is a reveler to enjoy the festivals of Dionysious.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,D
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:07 PM

I just wanted to say that i don't have any affiliation with the Hoffman Quadrinity Process or the Hoffman Institute, (see above/previous post). it just changed my life in such a profound way that i thought i would throw it out there as an idea. also, it isn't some kind of rehab deal. the process gives you the tools to work on things for the rest of your life, without having to go to meetings or do any kind of other committment with them. so yeah, ok. rock on.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,friend of bill w.
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:06 PM

there are lots of us here at mudcat. when i needed the help, big mick was there for me. he knows what its all about, send him a pm, he'll be there for you too.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,D
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:55 PM

Hey, you know, i had a similar situation in life. i realized that it had so much to do with unresolved issues in my life around a million things. for me, it was family stuff. i was trying so desparately not to feel, to numb out. it wasn't the drinking that was the problem, that was merely a symptom of a much bigger pattern. it cost me my family, and i had no idea what the hell i was doing. my now ex-wife's uncle steered me to the Hoffman Institute, and this program called the "Quadrinity Process." Now, i am so not into the "New Agey" diatribe, and i don't like "group sharing" BS, but that 8 day workshop kicked my ass. it changed my life like you, and i, couldn't have imagined. it is a personal thing, and you don't have to buy into any kind of life long idealism. it was just about breaking down a lot of my life held patterns of dealing with things to what they were really about, analizing them, and then reconstructing everything in a healthy way. it is a couple thousand bucks for the whole thing, and i understand that you don't have any money, but i didn't either, as i was kicked out of my house by my ex (we're working on a friendship now) and living in my car, and they helped me out with a scholarship, and what they couldn't cover, they gave me low monthly payments. that opportunity to hit a reset button on my life was probably cheaper and more effective than 10 years of therapy. now, i consider myself to be a major cynic and a headstrong do-it-yourself musician type who has had some major success (some of you have heard my stuff, believe me), and i don't talk about my Hoffman experience much with people, because it is very perasonal, but i stumbled upon your post looking for a song lyric, and i thought i would share. give the Hoffman people a call. they are really, genuinely interested in helping people, and they will answer your questions in a non-convincing, supportive way. they may tell you that it isn't for you even. who knows. call them. good luck. here is the link: http://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/ you know, when it all comes down to it, it's all about self love. i was brought up to think that loving myself was bad or "selfish" or not giving everything i had to the world and to the people around me. i am now practicing loving my "self", and having more to give. ok. enough about me... YOU WILL BE OK! "it's not the truth that is important, really, it is the search for truth" ---somebody said that, and i can't remember who.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: pattyClink
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:41 PM

You have a lot of pre-conditions on what you'll listen to, but I'll try. Is having watched someone you love die a horrible death qualification enough? If not, I also have a best bud who came close to checking out, got with the program, and has lived a way better life apres alcohol, 9 years and getting better all the time. I've had a front row seat to see what works and what doesn't.

Kidding yourself doesn't work. Staying screwed up while your judgment gradually slips away, being replaced by the judgment in the chemicals in your brain, doesn't work.

I've been to one AA meeting as a guest. Most straight-forward, no b.s. people I ever saw in my life, and they (with no sentimentality) cared about helping each other get off the slippery slope and move on. Get your butt to one and just tell them you think you might have a problem. If by some bizzarre chance the group doesn't 'click' with you (not your age demographic, etc.) don't sweat it, look up another one.

And in your favor, is the fact you're looking around for help from other human beings. That is one of the main things you have to do to get it together, so you got that going for ya. Go for it.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: YOR
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:16 PM

You have already taken the first step, you posted here. You know there is a problem, great, now do something about it. Reread your own post and then reread Bruces', Boberts', Lizs', Johns' all the posts, ten times each.

Ask you girlfriend for help and strength. Tell her to make you do it. Fight it together.

My oldest brothers' doctor said to him about 8 or 10 years ago. "Stop drinking right now or you are going to die." He runs marathons now!

Live man!, heal and Live.

Roy

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: The Pooka
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:15 PM

& What if this Guest is not really a Guest at all, at all?

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: X
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 09:25 PM

I agree.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 09:11 PM

If this Guest is THE "Guest" and he/she is sincere, what does it matter?

If this Guest is THE "Guest" and he/she is not sincere, then trolling has reached a new bottom.

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: X
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:55 PM

Is this Guest THE "Guest?"

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:54 PM

I understand you, sorry i have no ideas how to help you, the only bit of advice I feel able to give is this=Try to make sure you eat well, ie plenty of fruit and veg etc, this may seem like silly & irrelevant advice, but a lot of alcoholics have malnutrition, also if you are eating healthily you will soon feel better in general, and hopefully be more able to cope with the drink problem. Also many people drink too much to try to take there minds off other problems, maybe without even realising it, do you have problems at work for example, a job you don't like or other kinds of stress, if you have recently started drinking heavily try to figure out why.best of luck.john

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:52 PM

Antabuse or AA, or both. No other choices, GUEST. Sorry. AA is not necessarially for "rock bottom" folks, as you'll find out when you attend. You'll have a sponser, who like you, is recovering. Recovery can begin right now and from what you've posted is what you know you need. So get to it. Yep, a couple of phone calls and you're on you're way. And, yes, it is a disease. I know.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 07:07 PM

Join the club.

At least you recognise that you have a problem, that is the first step. No-one can help themselves if they don't at least recognise the problem.

The next step is to get professional help before you make yourself seriously ill.

I had your problem when I was 15. School was sort of interesting.

Take care, it can be sorted with help, and with the right sort of help it need never be a problem again.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:44 PM

I know what you mean. I like drink, I always make sure there's plenty in the house. I panic if it looks like I might run out. Don't know if you're in the USA or UK, but will go to the store/ off licence, if I'm running low and buy more, even though I might not drink it all. The only way to do it , is to make sure you have some booze available..just in case! Then go to bed with a good book, a big glass of water and sweat out the sleepless night/nights. I've done it loadsa times..and without the help of AA..etc. I've lasted 3 months before falling off the 'wagon'..and boy does that first drink taste great!!! And the roller coaster starts all over again.............. Or..(and I dont know your views on cannabis)..you could try having a spliff.But that might be replacing one 'drug' with another....it's worked for me in the past..and I'm not that keen on cannabis. Did get a good nights sleep though. Hope you can sort things out for yourself. And I might have made a little bit of sense ??

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:40 PM

Two words: Get Help.

Alchoholism is a disease, and a deadly one at that. Would anyone who knows he has cancer not seek help from a doctor? Of course not. Then why should anyone who knows he has the disease of alcoholism not seek help?

It sounds like you probably wouldn't have the money to do the rehab routine, and that pretty much leaves one option. You say"No 'rock bottom' AA crap please.", but, believe me, AA does work if you sincerely want it to. Don't delude yourself that everybody at AA meetings is an old down-and-outer who slept under a bridge last night. Whether you are aware of it or not, you know some people who are in AA, they just don't talk about it much to non-AAers.

Get out the phone book. Call AA and find out where a meeting is being held tonight, not tomorrow, and just go to it. Just forget all the preconceptions you have about what AA is and give it a chance. If you don't like it, what will you lose? An hour's drinking time?

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:36 PM

You don't have to hit rock bottom. I have no doubt that if I drank I would be alcoholic because I have pretty bad hypoglycemia and it is related, if not basically the same thing. Consider yourself hypoglycemic and eat a good fatty piece of meat right now if you still have the urge to drink. Don't try at this time to be a vegetarian. Read Dr Schwarzbein's Principal and Dr. Bernstein's diabetic solution. Read up on vitamin supplements for alcholics and hypoglycemics. I think B vitamins are recommended. Eat protein and green vegetables and good fats at every meal. Eat some saturated fats. Also eat olive oil and some nut oils. Check out flaxseed oil..it is a bit controversial. Eat fish, lots of it. Eat 5 or 6 meals a day. Eat no processed carbohydrates. Beans, lentils, oatmeal should be OK. If you can get to a naturopathic doctor, go. If not, search the internet for guidance, some of which will be good and some bad. Go to AA meetings whether you believe in them or not and don't drink the coffee or eat the donuts.

mg

Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:10 PM

This isn't rock bottom?

Two suggestions:

1) Make a choice.

2) Live with it.

Good luck.

Subject: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 05:44 PM

I am an alchoholic.

There's little doubt about the fact. Under any measure you might wish to suggest, I'd pretty much meet the profile.

Unfortunately, I have a big problem admitting it to myself.

Just now, I had an honest chat with my girlfriend about the situation and she was horrified when I told her how much I drank.

She suspected, sure, but I've been kinda sneaky (if lying is sneaky). I'm totally ashamed of myself. This minute, there's a bottle of wine downstairs. We bought it to drink together, but right now I 'need' it, and am on the brink of opening it, drinking it all and trying to make up some transparent excuse as to why it isn't there tomorrow (I don't have money to replace it) But who cares about tomorrow? I NEED it now.

This is horrible!

One problem is that I'll wake up again tomorrow, wish I hadn't posted this and think, 'it's OK' everything will be fine

If you understand me, any ideas. No 'rock bottom' AA crap please.

And NO crappy 'good lucks' from people who don't understand. Indeed NO messages from people without experience appreciated.