 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Turning Fifty
|
|
|
Subject: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: khandu Date: 24 Sep 02 - 08:59 PM Oh, I breezed through turning forty, and scoffed somewhat at those who considered the "Big 4-0" a traumatic experience. The passage of time and the collection of birthdays meant little to me. However, in December, I will meet my fiftieth birthday, and, on some subliminal, primitive emotional level, I am in a panic. My rationale has generally prevailed against strong negative emotions, but not so regarding this subject. I have actually awakened in the night with clammy sweats, seeing the years pass in the blink of an eye. I have a dizzying feeling similar to having climbed a tall ladder much too high. I find myself wanting to quickly climb back down, but, alas, I cannot. I look at other, older folk, and think that they have a lot of time left and they should not sweat the small stuff like age. But, when it becomes a personal thing, I feel quite differently. No point to this thread, I just wanted to whine a bit. Thanks for the space. khandu |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 24 Sep 02 - 09:09 PM From my point of view, turning fifty was almost a relief. When you're in your twenties, you have all these high expectations and you place a lot of pressure on yourself to meet them. The thirties and forties have their own expectations... when you get a house, job advancement, raising kids if you have them. Byt the time I reached my fifties I though, "this is about as good as I'm going to get," and relaxed. The fifties were great, but as far as I'm concerned, they can't beat the sixties. In another three years, I'll let you know how the seventies are, God willing. The eighties might be a little dicey. My definition of old age is twenty years older than me, and I'm not going to change it. :-)
As far as I can see, you're heading in to the best years of your life... Jerry |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Amos Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:17 AM Fifty is just gettin' out of the starting gate, Khandu -- these yonkers are just doing jumping jacks prior to starting to warm up to get ready, perhaps. This IS your prime time, so quit whining -- it's show time!! A |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: mouldy Date: 25 Sep 02 - 02:08 AM I kicked against the traces as I turned forty - for a long time I wore a badge that said "39 and holding". When it came to 50 in January I shrugged and resigned myself to it. At 40 I was frantically doing step aerobics 6 times a week. Now I'm looking forward to a yoga class! It doesn't help when for the last year the kids have been thrusting every flyer for SAGA holidays/insurance etc at me, and saying I was old enough. Now they're reminding me I'm 51 quite soon. And I don't care any more. It'll be their inheritance that gets spent if I go off on all these over 50s jaunts! This is the time of your life when usually the kids are fairly independent (if you have any), or you have hopefully got where you are going in your work and the pressure to succeed can be less. If you are in that position you then have time for yourself, and probably time ahead to spend while you are still relatively active. Enjoy. Andrea |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Jeanie Date: 25 Sep 02 - 03:31 AM Just a thought, Khandu, but when the big day comes round in December, no matter how you may be feeling about it, *celebrate* ! A couple of weeks ago I went to one of the best parties ever. It was my friend's husband's 50th. They hired a hall and disco and everyone arrived looking fantastic in 60s/70s clothes, and, of course, all the music was 60s/70s too. I came away with the feeling that the music, the clothes, the communal raising the roof singing "Hi ho Silver Lining" had had a deeper positive psychological effect on all of us than any amount of "ageing counselling" could ever have done. - jeanie
|
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Steve Parkes Date: 25 Sep 02 - 03:55 AM I was quite upset at leaving my twenties, but 40 didn't bother me, and nor did 50. (But make sure you get a "Happy birthday" thread!!) I sometimes find myself thinking about all the things that never got done: don't! It's what you do next that matters. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,Raggytash Date: 25 Sep 02 - 04:32 AM Turning fifty is a better option than NOT tuning fifty, the chances are with modern life spans you have another 30 plus years to go. You're barely middle aged, but more important than this is how old you feel inside, me at 47 am still just 23 inside and have been for years |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Trevor Date: 25 Sep 02 - 04:46 AM I hated the thought of it (it was in June) but actually had a great time. I went to Greece and had a great time and when I got back had a party for friends and family. I did have to practice saying it for a while...'I'm fifty', 'Yeah, I'm fifty you know', 'Fifty....', 'Just fifty', which meant that Helen thought I'd taken leave of my senses, but I'm almost back to normal now. I'm just waiting for the first git to tell me I'm good for my age.....! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: sian, west wales Date: 25 Sep 02 - 04:57 AM I'm with all of the above. I'm getting there in October and I'm pulling out all the stops - which amazes my friends because all other birthdays are spent pretty much in seclusion. I always had problems with the +9ers: 39 and 49 in particular. I suppose because it struck me that I only had a year left of that particular decade. I organized a party for my mother's friend's 80th a few years ago and had their whole 'crowd' together - some had been friends since Sunday School. Of course, a lot of the gab was about younger days; at one lull in the conversation, Aunt Jean said, "So ... just when did we get to be 'old'?" And Hazel replied, "Gee, I dunno. I was only 24 yesterday." Nope. Go for it. Big bash. Splurge. I want to gaze into the sky some December night and see a red glow on the horizon ... and know that it's your party! (Ummm ... in what direction should I be lookin'?) sian |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Mr Happy Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:04 AM its a state of mind- i'm only 52- still just a boy! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,Boab Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:05 AM Good to read all you young-uns philosophising. Wait till you are looking back at sixty----'waaay back!!! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Genie Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:07 AM Well, Khandu, I can sort of relate and sort of not. Like several others above, I was happy to celebrate turning 40 and even 50--largely because I "didnt' look" (or feel) like either one. Turning 60 this November is gonna be more of a mixed bag for me emotionally -- because this time I DO look and feel it! But, as Jeanie says, I plan to have a big celebration anyway. Achieving "senior citizen" status (whether at 50, 60, 65) does have its advantages, as Jerry R. and others have pointed out. No point in dwelling on the down side of growing older, since, as Mark Twain said, it's better than the alternative. This doesn't mean I begrudge you your whine. It seems a dirty trick that life plays on us not to let us look and feel as good as we did in our youth even while we gain the wisdom, knowledge, and perspective of age. I do hope that by the time your big day comes you really will feel like celebrating having come this far. Think of the number as an achievement badge. *G* Genie
|
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Dave Bryant Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:57 AM I can't really why decade birthdays are any different from the others. If humans had evolved with 6 fingers per hand, we'd probably count in duodecimal (powers of 12) - your birthday would then be your 42nd - would it still be significant ? I do notice that with passage of years my memory is not as good - for example, I tend to forget that I'm in my late 50's (decimal) and thus fail to behave in a manner deemed suitable for my age ! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Dave Bryant Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:58 AM I also forget to put words like "decide" in my postings ! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 25 Sep 02 - 06:06 AM Yeah, Dave, you can't help getting older, but you can always refuse to grow up!! ;-) |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 25 Sep 02 - 06:20 AM The way I've heard it, Sonja, is that "you're only young once, but you can be immature forever." :-) Jerry |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Troll Date: 25 Sep 02 - 07:05 AM It's not the amount of time you have left, it's what you do with it. So you've lived more time than you've got left. What you've lived so far is a gift; there was never a guarantee that you'd make it this far. Continue with your life as you will and can. If you find that you can't swing an axe all day anymore, buy a chainsaw and keep going. You don't quit because you get old, you get old because you quit. I'll be 62 in December and I'll be home from a six-months gig in Japan working for Disney. I'm the oldest musician here and I'm having a ball. I hope to come back in the Spring and when Disney Hong Kong opens in five years, I hope there's a job for me there. So don't let it get you down. There's life in the old boy yet. troll |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,bbc at work Date: 25 Sep 02 - 12:00 PM khandu, You are certainly not alone in this group! I expect to turn 50 this March. Many parts of my life are not what I thought they'd be, but, generally, I like myself & I feel that I've done enough to be the age I am. When you feel anxious or depressed, focus on the good things in your life. That's the part you *can* control--where you put your mind & your actions--not the passing of time or what it's doing to your body! We don't control what happens to us, but we always control how we respond. And don't forget to keep in touch w/ loving friends. That surely helps us through! best, bbc |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Sooz Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:11 PM I did it without pain but with much celebration in May. It didn't hurt a bit! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Crane Driver Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:29 PM Yeah, been there, done that - the "50 but nifty" badge is going rusty and I'm still acting my shoe size not my age. My motto is "Die young - as late as possible". I reckon I'm about half-way there. These are the good times. Andrew |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: dick greenhaus Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:55 PM I vaguely remember turning 50. BFD! At that point in my life, the DT was nine years from having started. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: MMario Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:58 PM I've still got two years - but am dreading the 50th - not because of the age - but because of my coworkers! they decorate for a 30th birthday with black balloons, streamers and skulls. I dread to see what they come up with for a 50th. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,Just Amy Date: 25 Sep 02 - 02:26 PM That night sweat thing might be important, see your doctor about it. Looking forward at 51 to menopause!! Reallly!! |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Bobert Date: 25 Sep 02 - 02:31 PM Piece of cake. Done it several times myself. Bobert |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Deda Date: 25 Sep 02 - 03:41 PM My forties were so much better than any previous decade, and the fifties, so far, have continued in that same general direction -- better and better. With an occasional roadbump. There's a bumpersticker that says, "Of all the things I miss, I miss my mind the most" -- and I really do find it VERY unsettling to have to accept a diminished memory capacity, increasing forgetfulness / absent-mindedness, generally feeling that I can't trust my own mental faculties, which used to be much stronger. Although I guess I've always had some tendency toward absent-mindedness. On my 50th (July 1999) my husband and friends held a delightful picnic up at Chatauqua park, a beautiful park at the bas of the Flatirons here in Boulder. It was a wonderful day. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: jimmyt Date: 25 Sep 02 - 04:00 PM I know a lot of people who, when reaching some plateau, be it 40,50. 60. whatever, seem to come to some agreement with themself that this is the age that I have officially become old, and guess what, they do! I am 54, but have lots of friends that are my age or younger that have started acting old, gotten more sedentary whth their lifestyle, and in fact become old! I joined a gym a year ago, lost 30 lbs, I work out (previously that was a dirty word to me) I walk at least 2 miles a day, and I honestly feel better and am lots more active than I was 14 years ago when I turned 40! Do I have any aches and pains! Heck yes, when I get up in the morning sometimes I feel like an old man, but I just laugh it off, suck it up and go on! Life is what you make it! I think studies prove that inactivity is a killer, not getting old |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: RolyH Date: 25 Sep 02 - 04:08 PM I hit the big Five Oh a few days ago.Now developing the "Been there, Done that" philosophy and now looking for new ventures. My birthday was spent with close family and a bottle of Malt Whiskey. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Leadfingers Date: 25 Sep 02 - 05:13 PM As Cranedriver put it,act your shoe size,not your age.I'm still trying to work up to 7 1/2-and its not easy.And dont forget that age is just state of mind. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Joe_F Date: 25 Sep 02 - 07:43 PM "At 50, everyone has the face he deserves." -- George Orwell. "After a man is fifty you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he is pretty." -- E. W. Howe |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: DougR Date: 25 Sep 02 - 08:32 PM Aw Khandu, lighten up! I was there over 20 years ago, and the years just get better. Relax and enjoy life. Don't worry, have fun! Sing songs or something! At fifty you probably are only half way through life! DougR |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: khandu Date: 25 Sep 02 - 10:03 PM My, my! So many of you have made me feel young and silly! While reading through the posts, I have both laughed and shed a tear or two. Thanks to each of you for your input. I do not feel so alone and old now! Sain, west wales, look toward Mississippi for the brightness on the horizon. I plan to Celebrate!! And, I promise, to each of you, I will lift a pint of Guinness at the party! khandu |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: mooman Date: 26 Sep 02 - 04:17 AM Dear khandu, If it's any reassurance to you, this year (I was 50 in May) has been the best year of my life so far...! Best regards, mooman |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: greg stephens Date: 26 Sep 02 - 05:18 AM As you're getting on a bit, you'll need some motivation, otherwise you'll just vegetate and turn into a boring dribbling old fart. I suggest trying very very hard to answer at least one quiz question. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Naemanson Date: 26 Sep 02 - 09:36 AM I turned 50 in July. I am in a new relationship, I have booted my last kid off the branch (fly, you brat, fly) and I hope to move to Italy in April. I have a whole new life in front of me and I am finding life after 50 is pretty good. |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: Sir Roger de Beverley Date: 26 Sep 02 - 10:38 AM At the age of 55 I was introduced to the music of Ian McNabb who is a singer/gutarist with Liverpool band The Icicle Works. Now, he is pretty young (about 30) but I determined to learn one of his songs and sing it at the local folk club. The song is called "Still Got The Fever" and the first verse starts: "Nothing has changed with me I'm still the same Running around with my soul on fire Trying to play the game But I've still..........I've still got the fever" and the chorus is: "Still got the fever, still on the run." I figured that it pretty much summed up what I was aiming for and I hope to have the fever for a long time yet. R |
|
Subject: RE: Non-Music: Turning Fifty From: dick greenhaus Date: 26 Sep 02 - 12:57 PM DougR- I'm not sure that the years are getting better, but it's damn sure that they're getting shorter.They don'm make 'em like they useta. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,Peter from Essex Date: 26 Sep 02 - 06:03 PM Forget about birthdays, forget how old you are, just have one hell of a life. It usually works until I realise that I can remember Jeanie in 60s gear the first time round. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: GUEST,BDog Date: 27 Sep 02 - 07:00 AM Turning Fifty? Bin there, done that! Don't panic, lifes just as much fun as it was before, but with a bit more experience to work with. Rest easy, and enjoy it. Brian |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: MBSLynne Date: 27 Sep 02 - 07:26 AM Yep, I did it last November and was horrified because it sounded so old, but I wasn't! Then I realised that that was the key...it isn't the chronological age that counts, it's what you feel like. I started having kids late, having enjoyed my young, free and single existence far to much to stop. Consequently, with an 11 year old and a 7 year old, most of my friends around home I've met due to school-gates etc. The majority of them are in their 30s and because I 'hang out' with them ,I feel like them, act like them and to some extent look like them. Definitely a state of mind! After all, if we didn't keep tabs on the years, we wouldn't know how old we were and would just act the way we felt. Love Lynne |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: Jeanie Date: 27 Sep 02 - 09:01 AM I agree, Lynne ! My grandma, who lived into her 80s, always referred to herself, and saw herself as, a "girl", and what a lovely, lively girl she was, always ready with a joke and going around the house singing away to herself. There seem to be a lot of us here in this age bracket. I'm getting there next May. That 50th party I went to has made me see what a wonderful time we're all going to have in the Twilight Home, 30 or so years hence. (If there *are* any twilight homes left by then - if there aren't, the experiences camping out at festivals and living on handfuls of macrobiotic mung beans will come in very useful. Just like old times). - jeanie (aged 17 and a bit) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: Mooh Date: 27 Sep 02 - 09:31 AM When I turned 40 I didn't think anything of it really. My dear older sister Barb said it was the best time, with some independence, surity, and without the problems of youthful image and such, but with many of the youthful urges. Those words of hers are a strange memory now, she died of cancer two weeks ago at the age of 49. It makes my heart ache to know she didn't realize 50. When I reach 50 I'm gonna insist I'm still a boy. Live life. Peace, Mooh. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: EBarnacle1 Date: 27 Sep 02 - 10:42 AM It amazes me how many opportunities and ideas come my way now that I am in my 50s. I was finally able to a miserable situation and be free. When I matured (in the sense of ripened, not grew up), I still did the stuff I did in my 40s, but I became more "in the moment" and available for more. Life is good. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: Stephen L. Rich Date: 27 Sep 02 - 11:36 PM Getting older is as much fun or as traumatic as you decide it's going to be. I'm staring hard at 49 (a week from Monday) and, fortunately, it's not putting me through as many changes as I had feared. Perhaps that's because this past year has been so volatile (my wife died and my first cd was released just for starters). I'm ssomewhat more inclined to believe, however, that, no matter what life does to or for you, there aren't to many alternatives to just playing out the hand you've been dealt. More often than not you'll spend long periods of time bluffing like hell. You keep playing, though. Life is the only game in town. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: clansfolk Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:41 PM Now that you're 50............... by His Worship and the Pig. and recorded by fellow Mudcatters "Penny Black" (www,PennyBlackFolk.co.uk)
Now you're knocking fifty I'll bet you a quid.
That your bodily functions don't work like they did.
And to see yourself naked is a little distressing
Though your skin fits O.K. it looks like it needs pressing. Chorus.
But don't think that fifty is the end of the line,
That you've run out of track and you've run out of time,
For as long as you've got both your ardour and zeal,
You are only as old as the woman you feel.
Well at fifty, perhaps you're a little concerned,
Chorus
Well shortly you'll start growing hair once again,
Now when you were just twenty-one all your girlfriends,
Chorus.
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Turning Fifty From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Sep 02 - 03:50 PM Hey Ol' Bud.........All good advice. Just take everything one day at a time. A lot of folks around here will well remember that I almost didn't turn 50! I do understand your feelings though......A few days ago I passed an interesting "marker" when I passed the day that I had outlived both of my parents. That's kinda' strange........ Hell man, get yourself some new sheets, break out the kerosene, nail up some 2x4's and you'll have a great time........... Have I ever mentioned how glad I am to have you around here? Seriously, it's good to have a friend who can take that kind of obvious bullshit ribbing without blowing a cork. Be good to yourself.....You're a good man. Spaw |