BS: A Happy Story....

Subject: Obit: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Mar 03 - 06:03 PM

Well, this mornin' the P-Vine and I heard a big *chunk" on the rear glass door and we both rushed over to see a poor "red Bellied woodpecker" laying there in our back deck. He weren't movin' at all. So I went out and watched him fir about ten minutes and he didn't move the entire time. Well, I put a plastic laudry basket over him and kept checkin' him.

After about an hour his clawed toes started to curl but nothing else as he lay there with his poor little woodpecker feet up in the air. Then, I checked him and he had righted himself and seemed to be just sitting there. Then the P-Vine came and told be that she thouhgt he had died. I checked on him and he had gotten his head though a hole in the basket and seemed motioless. I told her I would bury him later.

I went out an hour ago to bury him and danged if he weren't standng up so I put a piece of cardboard under the basket and coaxed him out to a spot in the woods where the snow had melted and lifted the basket but he didn't fly and didn't walk too well so I covered him with the basket again.

Well, I just went out to see how he was doing and he walked over to a dogwood and climbed up it about 10 feet and then, waalaa, he took flight! Whew... Made ol' Bobert all misty eyed there...

Praise the Lord!

Bobert

Subject: RE: Obit: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Mar 03 - 06:06 PM

Danged! How the heck did that happen? This was 'sposed to be a BS thread. Oh well, maybe it should be an "Unobit* story.

Bobert

Subject: RE: Obit: A Happy Story....
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Mar 03 - 06:06 PM

EH-EH-EH=EH=EH
EH-EH-EH-EH-EH
tthat's all folks.

pOOR wOODY.

Subject: RE: Obit: A Happy Story....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 14 Mar 03 - 06:08 PM

Humm... Bird in a Basket....

Now that's take-away my cats'd love!

:-)

Subject: RE: Obit: A Happy Story....
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 03 - 06:10 PM

Shucks, Bobert, yer jes' a mushmelon is whut!

Love the tale.

But what's this about snow? Have you guys been actually seeing some snow? I read about it once but I thought it was a Nurban Legend. You know, from the ancient Nurbans.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 04:56 AM

Well, my Nurbans are froze right SOLID this morning. -19C and it'll go down another degree or two before I have to go to work in the wind and trudge through snow drifts.

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 06:51 AM

Good story, and nice to wake up to this morning, Bobert! And, as Amos has also knighted me as a ripe mushmelon, I guess we should hit the road together as The Mushmelon Brothers.

Your story reminded me of a similar but more bizarre one. When I was Director of a Museum and Nature Center, I lived in the Gate House and people would arrive at all hours of the day or night with injured animals, expecting me to heal them, miraculously. One evening, there was a knock on the door, and a man said he had a deer for me. "eer" deer. He had been driving along the highway and saw a deer lying on the side of the road that was still moving. He picked it up and put it in the trunk of his car, and wanted the Museum to take it. We weren't licensed to take a wild deer, so I told him to wait a minute, and I'd call the humane society. But first, he took me out to his car and opened the trunk. There was a near-full grown deer, by Golly, looking up at us kinda dazed. I couldn't see any sign of injury.. legs looked fine, no sign of blood.

So, I called the humane society and they suggested that the deer might just be stunned, and recommended that the guy take it back out and leave it by the side of the road until it recovered. I went back to the door and gave the advice to the guy, but he said there was no way he was going to put the deer back on the road. If it was just stunned, he'd keep it in his garage. Now this waren't no bambi... it was pretty close to a full grown deer, all scrunched up in his trunk.
I told him I thought that was a bad idea because if the deer came too and was locked in the garage, it would panic and damage everything in the garage, including itself, trying to get out. I still had the guy from the Humane Society on the phone, so I said, "Let me go and talk to the Humane Society again," and left. When I came back, the guy and the deer were gone. I always wondered if that deer revived, and if so, what kind of hell he caused, being locked up in that garage.
I expect his car was hit by a deer many times, without ever moving.

Your Brother Mushmelon, Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 07:57 AM

On the other hand, our Cornish Rex died last night. Moggie was never the healthiest of cats but he was a lovalble little dude and Tris would drag him around all over the place. He and Tris were buds. He'd been acting odd last evening, but he was always acting odd! When I looked at him about 3 AM he was gone.

Bad time period here....just lost one of our cockatiels last week....

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 08:08 AM

Well, danged, Spawzer. I'm real sorry fir your poor little kitty, Moggie. Man, it jus' breaks one's heart to loose a good friend and all these critters are our friends. They don't kill noboby er' nuthin. They're just loving, trusting and loyal to us. Real sorry, my friend.

Yo, Jerry, think we've got a third Marsmeller Brother.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 08:33 AM

Thanks, Bobert and Jerry for those stories.

Spaw, I am so sorry to hear about Moggie! I've loved hearing about him all these years and seeing the pix of him, too. Puir Trys and the rest of you. All my love, darlin'....

kat

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Morticia
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 08:44 AM

I am so sorry,'Spaw...I loved hearing your stories about the little feller too

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 10:48 AM

What a band of brothers are we -- who can build the mother of all bombs between Monday and Friday and rejoice in a single woodpecker's survival on Saturday. Sometimes I wonder if there aren't two or three separate species running around in the bodies of homo sap. Maybe there are!! Homo sap lizardus, homo sap numbnuttus, and homosap mudcattus. Maybe a fourth -- homo sap meatballi. That'll about cover it, I think...except for variants, and the unidentified class found in Hull and in Mississippi....


A

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 11:11 AM

Sorry to hear about your dear friends Spaw. Of course, the memories are the comforting part of the circle. I did a home inspection this morning and was immediately warned of the vicious attack dog... about as big as one of my sneakers, no more that three pounds at eight years old, ie, some cute ! Reminded me of my pets over the years and a lot of good memories. Enjoy yours.

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 11:39 AM

Bobert, you need to get one of those birds of prey silhouettes to put on your glass door so no more birds brain themselves against it. (Bird brains, right?)

Spaw, did your cat have a favorite place to hang out, or a favorite window view? Perhaps a suitable burial site in the range of one of these places, then coming into the house for cookies and milk (or a nice can of tuna) will launch him properly. Most recent cat burial in our family ended up being at the base of the tree he liked best to climb.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 08:58 PM

SRS:

Yeah, thanks. I just installed th doors this past winter and we hadn't had any problems unitl yesterday. Well, after that, I went to the basement and got some masking tape and made three rather primative birds with it on the glass. Lokks purdy crappy but I'll definately get the silhouettes.

As fir the bird brains thing, I got one so I can't help ya'...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Mar 03 - 10:36 PM

Bobert,
This conversation kind of begs the question what was that bird thinking anyway? What appealed to it about the inside of a darkened building that it tried to fly in there?

I need to ask myself the same question--I also have sliding glass and haven't put any scary shapes on it to keep the birds from bouncing off of it. (Is this another use for duct tape? Cut to fit bird shapes on glass?)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 12:05 AM

SRS:

When you figger out what you were thinking about the inside of a darkened buiding that made you fly in there, well, I'd like to know the answer. I spend entirtely too much time inside the damn things!

A

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 12:10 AM

Exactly!

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 12:22 AM

A window with a dark room behind it makes a dandy mirror. If you're a testosterone loaded male bird, and you see another male bird, you're going to fly at it full speed to try to chase the Danged thing away... only to discover that you just slammed head-on into yourself. Before you slump inot unconsciousness on the ground.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 12:39 AM

Actually I think most humans do that too, Jerry -- 's why we're all so semi-stunod all time!! Banging into ourselves at full tilt. Sure smarts, huh? :>))


A

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 05:43 AM

Maybe all of this is why men call women "birds" or "chicks,"
depending on their speed of pursuit. Could it be that our dear Bobert is a Bird Dog? :-)

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 07:09 AM

I have a casement window beside the clothesline. Last summer, an oriole was sheltering from the rain under the eave on the line and could see his reflection in the open window. The racket that he made was amazing. I thought I had a flock of them with bullhorns right in the kitchen. I had to shut the window because he was continuously attacking himself and would almost immediately return after being shooed away.

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 08:13 AM

Bobert kissed the teacher
He's a bird
Tiptoed up to reach her
What a bird
Now he's the teachers pet now
What a dog
Gettin' what he can get now
What a dog
Yeah, Bobert kissed the teacher
Now he's trying to get my baby
He's a bird dog!

??????

Nah, that weren't me, Jerry. I didn't do it. Well, as I recollect the teacher kissed me. That's my story and Iz sticken to it unless someone has any photographs...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 11:40 AM

Hey mushmelon brothers- here's a song for your bebut

I came home the other night, as drunk as I could be,
Saw this head on the pillow, where my head ought to be.
Well, I said to my wife, my pretty little wife, explain this thing to me!
What's this head doin' on the pillow where my head ought to be?
Well, you old fool, you blind fool, can't you plainly see, it's nothing but a mushmellon that my mama gave to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, 10,000 miles or more, but a mustache on a mushmelon, I never did see before.
[The Weavers]

Bobert, good story. Spaw sorry to hear about your pussy(cat)Seriously, I know how hard it is to lose one of the family. Tough stuff.
I just had one of my dogs in the hospital for four days and four hundred dollars later,from eating deer bones. Plugged her up real good. Thought she was a goner but ah, what wonders a few good enema's will do! If I would have only know I would have used a good old garden hose! (smile)
Peace. Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 04:52 PM

(Rover lifts his head suspiciously. "Who goes there??" he barks, "Friend, or enema??")

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 07:22 PM

I've done that song for many years, Rustic, and the line "a moustache (the way I learned it) on a cabbage head, I've never seen before" always gets a big laugh.. :-)

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 08:05 PM

Well Jerry, that is perfect that you know the song. Change your version and hit the road as the mushmelon bro.s!

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 08:22 PM

And count me in, Jerry! Long as Iz in the band you can call me a mushmelon brother, marshmelon brother or a honeydewmelon brother, I don't care. Yeah, we can do "Full Moon on the Melon Patch Boogie", "Watermelon Stomp", "Can't Elope 'Cause Her Daddy Nailed the Window Shut Blues" and our soon to be famous "The Mushmelon Twist"! Whaddaythink?

Ahhh, sorry to hear about yer dog, RR, but I'm gald that everything got worked out, errr somethin' like that...

Reminds me of that stupid old joke from when we were kids: Ahhh, hear about the constipated mathmatician? He worked it out with a pencil...

As per usual, nevermind...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 09:56 PM

Now, the inestimable Pea-vine would certainly correct us, Bobert, and change our name to the muskmelon Brothers. Sounds more masculine anyway. For a man, would you prefer musk or mush? Maybe we could expand our repertoire. I've always loved "When It's Peach Picking Time in Georgia," and Everything Is Peaches Down In Georgia."

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Mar 03 - 10:11 PM

Danged, Jerry, what was that song about "eatin' peaches"? Hmmmm?

Gonna move to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches...

???????

Help!!!!

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Mar 03 - 12:51 AM

A friend included in an essay many years ago a description of watching a jay of some sort sitting on the rearview mirror of his Toyota Landcruiser. The territorial bird would see himself in the reflection, then hop behind the housing to look for that other jay. It was a regular exercise for this poor puzzled bird. Natural selection at it's best--he probably didn't get a lot of breeding accomplished as long as he was trying to find his chimeric rival!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Mar 03 - 01:18 AM

Could that be a John Prine tune Bobert? I know the tune but can't remember either.

Subject: Lyr Add: SPANISH PIPEDREAM (John Prine)
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Mar 03 - 01:57 AM

I had to think about it a little more Bobert, then it came to me;


SPANISH PIPEDREAM
John Prine

1. She was a level-headed dancer on the road to alcohol,
And I was just a soldier on my way to Montreal.
Well, she pressed her chest against me about the time the jukebox broke.
Yeah, she give me a peck on the back of the neck and these are the words she spoke:

CHORUS: Blow up your TV. Throw away your paper.
Go to the country. Build you a home.
Plant a little garden. Eat a lot o' peaches.
Try and find Jesus on your own.

2. Well, I sat there at the table, and I acted real naive,
For I knew that topless lady, had somethin' up her sleeve.
Well, she danced around the barroom, and she did the hoochie-koo.
Yeah, she sang her song all night long, tellin' me what to do. (CHORUS)

3. Well, I was young and hungry, and about to leave that place,
When just as I was leavin', well, she looked me in the face.
I said, "You must know the answer." She said, "No, but I'll give it a try,"
And to this very day we been a-livin' our way, and here is the reason why:

LAST CHORUS: We blew up our TV, threw away our paper,
Went to the country, built us a home,
Had a lot o' children, fed 'em on peaches.
They all found Jesus on their own.


Peace. Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 01:00 AM

Bobert!!! Mushmelon brothers!! are you going to let this thread die without composing a song of your own? Well I don't think so,,,so here we go,,,

I've been all around the world
and ate all kinds of fruit
But the mushmelon is the favorite, fruit
that will suit me just right.
I got the mushmelon blues, thay say this fruit is good for me
All I know is I have to eat it
eat it to make a man out of me....

My woman she comes home , real late at night
say's "give me some mushmelon, and I won't put up a fight."

I've got the mushmelon blues,they say this fruit is good for me
All I know is I have to eat it... to make a man out of me.


Now I leave the next verses up to you...

I may be a little lopsided tonight but I am making music in my head anyway-Rustic(Erin go bra-less)

Subject: RE: BS: A Happy Story....
From: open mike
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 02:19 AM

plant a watermelon up above my grave
and let the juice (shhhhhhh)
trickle down...
(how do you spell ssssssslurrrp!)

sory to hear about the critter trouble.
by the way birds, both pet and wild,
benefit from heat either from lamps
or hot water bottles, when ill or
injured. Much of their energy is taken up
from keeping warm especially in snowy
weather. they also need a lot of water.

a neighbor lost 2 goats last week to
a mountain lion. we do live in the wild
wild west.
I lost a cockatiel last week too.

On the positive side, my canary hatched
out a nest of youn'uns today. If you have
ever heard me sing on pal talk chances are
you might have heard the canaries singing
in the background---cheer-up, cheer-up!
toodle-oo, toodle-oo! the original yodellers...