Punch the Horse May Thread

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 May 03 - 06:16 PM

Dunno Demister, but I have got me hands on a beautiful traction engine cosy from the war. £130 ovno.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 May 03 - 05:13 PM

Sweetfire has got her GCSE's so she WILL have been revising Noreen.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 May 03 - 02:50 PM

I sincerely hope that the Flood Prevention Anal Poppies are rigorously tested. Do they have a recognised product certification mark? Do they come with your personal guarantee? I really feel that these prducts should be investigated by the Trading Standards people.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 May 03 - 12:00 PM

Why weren't you at the Yorkshire gathering, sweetfire? Was fun!
But there again, Horse Punchers were notable by their absence, despite promises to the contrary- apart from the lovely Nik Nak.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:53 AM

Tuesday will be on wensday next week, see thread "Day change at the Sun".

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:48 AM

where was i when???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:46 AM

And where were you, sweetfire dear? :)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:38 AM

Oak's more like a Gelderlander...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:02 AM

After reading the information brought to us by KJ.....i think there should be more Yorkshire Gatherings!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 May 03 - 10:35 AM

David, the Calming, Soothing, Relaxing Lizard Helmet Putty is proving a little hard to shift at £5 per scoop. I feel that is may be wise to realign your pricing structure to suit the Usbekistan economic situation. I think three scoops for a tenner might just get things moving in the right direction.

Do the Flood Prevention Anal Poppies come in packs of ten? £2.99 seems a little steep for just one.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:51 AM

Oh Yes Leider Ossen I shall be in the fair town on Wednesday, still using last years holiday up. Tony, he with the Mandolin and talent will also be there this weekend, so we should be in for another good one.
Tell Oak leaf until he has eaten Braised Ducks Feet he has never truly lived

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:43 AM

I have just received the lastest batch of Arbitration Kebabs.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:27 AM

Hey raggy, are you still on for this saterdaty at the whitters?

Am coming up on the sat morn going back on the sun afternoon to play at the sun bev.Hope to see you for sume Bear9Hoi and song and that !

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 03:25 PM

Hey I know those two.

Some of us have contributed to the Mother thread Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:25 PM

Equine Prosthetics Patients.
Oakley is a 116-year-old, 16 hand, Thoroughbred gelding (so I really don't know why he's drivelling on about genitals!) with a right leg prosthetic, also a left leg; right arm; left arm; torso; & neck. The majority of his head is present, although completely non-functional from the forehead down.

Pete is a 21-year-old stallion with a full right prosthesis for five years now. Which is why he can't walk in a straight line. His stump terminates at mid-cannon, although he does not have any mobility in his hock anymore!!!!!! His prosthetic was rebuilt to improve upon the gait pattern.

Forgive me I've just returned from the Yorkshire gathering!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 03 - 01:21 PM

You people are really missing out by not contributing your particular brand of drivel on a daily basis to The MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS<\b>. It won't last forever, you know. Heed the words of the wise and get in there before it's too late.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:10 PM

oh yea i totally know what you mean john hullian!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:57 AM

10576

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:49 AM

"no comment" is clearly a comment. So come on A bored observer, say what you really mean!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,A bored observer.
Date: 18 May 03 - 10:03 AM

no comment.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 18 May 03 - 07:58 AM

Small more piper is correct. Allah sent the information to me. The Loons are kinds dipping birds. There is red Throated diver, black Throated diver and large north divers - nothing to do with the Oaklets Genitals.
   This translation function is mystical. It is decreed that you don't come back to what you started with.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 18 May 03 - 06:31 AM

Will he please work on an automated snooker cue for me that will produce breaks of 50+

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 05:53 AM

But french people make really good wine, and it goes really well with all them cows that we eat. Therefore they can't be all that bad, and after a bottle or two I tend to think they are wonderful.
(yes... both the French and the cows).

ENOUGH about cows and french people what I and the rest of the world want to know is.... What has Oakley invented today???????????????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 May 03 - 06:28 PM

Heloo, i was just about to starta thread "BS:Are french people rubbish?, but somebody did that recently and itgot delted, anyway, if a cow shit in the middle of one of my records i would be pissed off, but i got no records anyway 9only cds), and anoither anyway, i domt think a cow would fit threw my front door.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:42 PM

p.s
yes john the french do eat horses (stupid bastards), snails and frogs and the chinese eat dogs. or at least they used to...which is also stupid. but hey, people from india probably think we are wrong to eat cows...and that we should just let them stand in the middle of reoads and shit everywhere. I think we have the right idea...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM

no it's not a wonkey donkey because that wouldn't happen, it would just get shot if it needed any limbs replacing...oh yeah im so in a good mood

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 17 May 03 - 05:34 AM

Silly me it's prophylactic!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 17 May 03 - 05:12 AM

Didn't they used to call condoms prosthetics?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:52 PM

and frogs.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:42 PM

ps, i think they eat slugs there as well, i never been to france, and i am never going, it sounds crap.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:40 PM

Heloo, they eat donkeys in france, i know this because Dodgy Derek told me, he went there for holidays with his girlfrend called Angela, and he should it was shite, all the food was foreigen and the weather was crap, so he id notgoing there anymore.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:32 PM

A lovely thread, this.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Willa
Date: 16 May 03 - 03:47 PM

No Sex, Please, We're British (1973, Ronnie Corbett, Beryl Reid, Arthur Lowe et al)
prosthetic; an artificial part of the body. Is a donkey with a wooden leg a wonkey donkey?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 02:06 PM

Is the film any good noreen? I was researching a guy involved in the making of films, and just noticed his works included that film...
what are prothsetics?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:16 PM

Loons were also a kind of hipster trouser usually of very bright material with huge flares and embrodary up the side very popular in the late 60's early 70's I believe. God they were awful I hope they don't bring em back ooops to late!

The equine prothsetics are competing with Deaf Shepherd and the selby bashthen mmmm choices!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:11 PM

They don't do Donkeys I'm afraid but they do Dog prosthetics as well, oh hum.
Sorry we'll be missing the Nelthorpe gig Dean, er Jack, er Walter, oh yes I've got it Pete!!!! But as the lovely Noreen says we'll be at the Yorkshire Gathering although I'm not sure now if we will be camping as Colin poor boy has had a nasty cold & it has got on his chest. If I rub 'im down with enough liniment he might just feel up to it but I'm not sure the sturdy souls of the gathering could cope with the prospect of Colin hacking up bits of lung tissue on Sun. morning...catch my drift!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:17 AM

The loon is a charming water bird found throughout the Ontario, Canada northland. It has a very distinctive and haunting cry, often heard lilting across quiet lakes in the early dawn. Nothing else on Earth sounds like it. It's very beautiful looking too (exquisite patterns of black and white feathers, graceful form, long neck), and it's a marvelous swimmer. You more often see them swimming and diving than flying.

It may also be found on the Canadian one-dollar coin, which has been popularly dubbed "the Loonie".

I know it sounds odd, but it's true. This is Canada, eh?

"Totally decent, man...Canada ROCKS!!!" (to quote BDiBR)

I don't know where the expression "crazy as a loon" came from, but it must have been inspired by the bird's cry, I would think, which would sound crazy coming from a human being. The only thing in nature which resembles it much is a hyena's laugh. It's spooky.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:49 AM

I could have a use for one of these equine prosethics, do they do Donkeys?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:41 AM

Karen, and anyone who is anybody, will be camping out under the cooling towers of Selby this glorious sunshiny weekend.

Be there, or don't.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:26 AM

I have just been insulted. By a Bap. Where would the world be without Oakley Enterprises Inc.?

Equine Prosthetics, Karen.....??? Have heard it all now! Fabulous entry for this lunatic thread! Will we be seeing you at the Nelthorpe Arms tomorrow night?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:38 AM

Saw this & thought of you guys!!!

"Equine Prosthetics, Inc. is a unique company that makes equine orthopedic devices based on tested and successful designs currently used in human medicine. We use contemporary techniques and superior materials to reduce the bulk and increase effectiveness, and because they are custom-made, they greatly reduce the chance of rubs or sores.
By utilizing these methods and materials we can advance animal support systems to a new level of innovative care, comfort and efficacy.
Toll-free number: (866) Peg-Legs. {866-734-5347].

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:28 AM

I thought loons were baggy trousers.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:41 AM

I thought it started life as a stage play

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:21 AM

Oh dear, Oaklet darling, www.legumesdubain.fr is a forbidden site on my library computer- is it at all suggestive?

I so liked the thought of Relaxing Bath Sprouts. Please let me have a snail mail address for your company.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:16 AM

Sweetfire: yes.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:16 AM

This thread has really taken off. I don't have any delivery information regarding the availability of Absorbant helmet/funicular Mushroom production booth sex in the city nitrogen inspection harnesses, but I do have a quantity of upholsterers' yeast and some ex Canadian Airforce surveveyors Owl Nuts to get shut of. The Caving Jelly capsules sold within 4 hours! My other company, Legumes du Bain sa is selling Relaxing Bath Sprouts for £3.99 each. Have a look at www.legumesdubain.fr

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:05 AM

Kleines piper ist korrekt. Allah hat mir die Informationen geschickt. Das Loons sind Arten der Tauchen Vo(with umlaut)gel. Es gibt rote Throated Taucher, schwarze Throated Taucher und Grosse Nordtaucher - nichts, mit den Oaklets Genitals zu tun.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:58 AM

just need to know....anybody heard of a film called 'No sex, please - we are British'???? it was out in the 70's....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:15 AM

Did they put something in your coffee this morning pete?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 May 03 - 05:00 AM

Can I come?

Are they the £19.99 pair or the deluxe model, David?

Also, I am awaiting production deadline for the Absorbant helmet/funicular Mushroom production booth sex in the city nitrogen inspection harness. As your European Sales Director, this is urgently required information. The punters are lining up as I type.