BS: What happens to.......

Subject: BS: What happens to.......
From: Morticia
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:22 PM

plectrums? I know I bought five just a couple of weeks ago.Now I can't find any.......anywhere, although a bright green one that says it comes from a music shop in Toronto turned up in the front of my car......I've never even been to Toronto.

Come to that, what happens to the other sock......the one that never comes out of the washing machine? I believe in the existance of sock dragons but in this house, the little scamp takes no prisoners.

Or how about pens? What's that about? Urgent phone message.....need to take down a number.......not a pen in sight.End up taking it down on a piece of wallpaper in blood. When you are off the phone and idly sitting down having a scratch and a smoke......what can't you move for? Bloody pens.

Signed

Perplexed in Droitwich

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:25 PM

I don't know about the plectrums, but I think all of your pens are probably over here at our place, Morticia. Either that, or our pens are breeding ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:34 PM

I have all you pens here in a desk drawer. Well, actually three desk drawers, a box, and scattered all over the apartment. Some of them actually work. Socks I don't know about. There are those who claim that every washer and/or dryer has a quantum black hole in its center that sucks odd socks into a parallel universe.

Plectrums (pletra?) are stolen by pick-pockets.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:37 PM

My house keys. It's an ongoing conspiracy. They bide their time for a few weeks, then POOF!!!, they're gone. (I have a second set but they do the same thing.) I live in a house museum with three floors so there are many places they can hide.

The last couple of days I've looked for them sporadically. I know they're in the house because after all, I got in, and I haven't gone anywhere since- but WHERE?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:46 PM

My youth. It was just here.............and now?????

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Morticia
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:53 PM

You will always be young,Mick... *G*.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 May 03 - 12:56 PM

Car keys, too. One at a time. I'm down to my last extra hidden one...

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: DMcG
Date: 05 May 03 - 01:16 PM

Safe places disappear around here, I reckon. The number of times things are deliberately put in a safe place, then are never seen again ...

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 05 May 03 - 01:19 PM

The disappearance of socks I reckon can be attributed to portal type things in the washing machine and in the back of your sock drawer. Have you ever been driving along and noticed stray socks by the side of the road and other such unlikely places? That's where the portals go. I reckon is a government conspiracy to help the economy by forcing people to buy more socks.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Mark Clark
Date: 05 May 03 - 02:18 PM

Actually I found the definitive answer to PixieOfDoom's question. You know how wire coat hangers seem to mysteriously multiply in the closet? Well it turns out that socks are the larval form of coat hangars.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 03 - 02:28 PM

one of the larval stages. but actually of bicycles. Paper clips are the eggs.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 03 - 02:33 PM

Wherever y'all's socks go, ours are there too.

My mind seems to be missing as well.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 03 - 02:39 PM

What happens to.... AGREEMENTS? You know-- that little check-in on expectations, when you get smart enough to actually lay out who's going to do (and not do) what, and confirm that this is understood/agreed/fine/a great idea.....

Then, it's not. Like it always wasn't. Like the agreement never occurred.

Oh, I get it-- agreements are a larval form of little red wagons (not bicycles), to which they transform when you've put enough energy into them, and then..... they roll away downhill when you are not looking, taking all your energy away in them?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Allan C.
Date: 05 May 03 - 02:59 PM

Allan Clark
FINDER of the matching sock, lost plectrums, missing shopping lists, other earrings, missing car keys, vital kitchen implements, the missing plate and fork for the other place setting, all manner of tools needed but seemingly vanished, friends gone missing at largegatherings... LOCATOR of long-sought-after items such as the very few songs that MMario or Sorcha can't locate before Masato submits not only verses but eight sources of historical documentation, or a listing of folk venues for a city I've never seen for Fortunato, etc.... PURVEYOR of new or used pens, coathangers, odd bits of paper with undecipherable-but-important-looking-scribblings-on-them; trousers that are three sized too small (kept in case of famine) shirts that no reasonable human would ever wear; all manner of electrical and electronic cords and cables and much, much more...GIVER of free advice and useless, impractical information...AT YOUR SERVICE!

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Dead Horse
Date: 05 May 03 - 04:55 PM

I've got a green sock, only the one.
I did have two, but the other ones gone.
    From Mr Les Barker (who else?)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 03 - 06:22 PM

Allan, can we make an agreement about that? :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Noreen
Date: 05 May 03 - 06:45 PM

Now Allan, I have a small job for you when you're over here....

:0)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Allan C.
Date: 05 May 03 - 06:59 PM

WYSIWYG, I forgot to add: KEEPER, ratifier, signifier, imdemnifier of; or (as needed) set the fire to any and all agreements.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:13 PM

Morticia,

The trick to keeping anything is to never buy stuff that you really like. Always settle for second or third best. The little game that the Universe plays with us is called "I will remove the things that you really like from your life. I will leave the ho-hum stuff alone." If you really like that pair of green Argyle socks and buy them, one will be gone in two weeks. If you just look longingly at the green Argyles and buy ugly brown things instead, they will be with you until the toes are worn through. Plectrums? Can't keep a Clayton Gold to save my life. But the 12 for a buck promo things from the local music store? I think I've still got every one I've ever bought. PM me your postal address and I'll send ya some. That way you can have some from Pensacola, Florida to go along with the one from Toronto.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Burke
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:22 PM

Bruce,
You are so right! I got a really nice pair of gloves for Christmas that were lost by the end of Feb. The old ones that are falling apart are still here.

Ditto on the socks. I keep finding the complete pairs with holes & loose one of the brand new ones.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Allan C.
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:24 PM

I think you're onto something, Bruce. I still have every one of those cheap glasses they used to give away at the gas stations.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:48 PM

OK, Allan, then come to our Gathering May 16. We have red wagons here too but let's not burn them.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:55 PM

Morticia-

With regard to your initial posting:

The next to come in was a sock troll
Whose dress was exceedingly droll,
Whose dress was exceedingly droll,
When he joined in the jovial crew;
For he was attired in socks he'd snatched,
Argyle, stripped, and some was patched,
And not a single one did match,
When Jones's Ale was new, me boys,
When Jones's Ale was new!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: khandu
Date: 05 May 03 - 09:48 PM

My money? I work all week to make money, but I never see it.

Dang it, Allan C.! Have you got it?

k

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: RangerSteve
Date: 05 May 03 - 11:09 PM

There seems to be a portal from my washing machine to someone elses. That explains why I end up with an even number of black socks, but they differ in material or pattern. Some are the same material or pattern, but a slightly different shade of black. others are identical in every way except for a different color of thread at the toes. A pair of Levi's (size 32 - I haven't been a 32 since high school back in 1968) came through the portal and landed in my washer. Since I lived alone at the time, they remain a complete mystery.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Allan C.
Date: 06 May 03 - 02:40 AM

Ranger Steve! I just can't believe it! I lost a pair of size 32 Levis in a washing machine in Montana in 1967. Now, at last, I know what happened to them!

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: fat B****rd
Date: 06 May 03 - 05:38 AM

.........any important documents that my wife handles, as opposed to
antique magazines, flyers and junk mail that always seem to be around in heaps.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: GUEST,mink
Date: 06 May 03 - 05:50 AM

In a bizarre washing-maching/plectrum linkage... I keep my pleccies in one of those net bags that you get for putting in the soap tablet things. Keeps them safe - but smells a bit funny.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Gurney
Date: 06 May 03 - 07:04 AM

"When I was single I wore a plaid shawl..." no I didn't, but I only had two pairs of socks, originally represented by 24 black ones and sixteen brown ones, all the same brand. That meant it didn't matter if one went missing. I never even noticed.
This is bachelor logic. I gave away as presents all socks that didn't fit my system. Thats where I got them from, anyway, and I did have the courtesy not to wear them.
I daren't give them away now, because of who bought them for me.

The space-warp in a top-loader washing machine is between the tubs. If you habitually put a pile of washing on top and push it down into the tub, you will presently receive a visit from the repairman, who will give you a knowing smile, a mangled sock, and a bill. You will not enjoy any of them.
Don't leave the connecter taps turned on either, the hoses sometimes blow. At night, when the pressure is highest.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 06 May 03 - 08:03 AM

It seems that sharing a house with another guitarist somehow short-circuits the plectrum black-hole. No matter if one of you loses one it will invariably turn up on the shelf under the hi-fi. ;)

socks now are a completely different matter....

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Morticia
Date: 06 May 03 - 08:18 AM

just been to look at the shelf under the hi-fi and you are right, there was a plectrum......it wasn't mine though.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 May 03 - 09:48 AM

Ranger Steve!! you have my black socks. I always sew different colored threads at the toes to keep the pairs together (cos naturally they all fade at a different rate even tho they are the same brand & purchased at the same time).

Funny, all my pairs of socks are complete - so how come you have some of them?

Charley - To see the original Sock Bandit check out Charleen Kinser Designs - she has been creating magical soft toys for about 30 years. I'd love to add the Sock Bandit, The Dream Stalker & Buddy bear to my collection.   

http://www.charleenkinserdesigns.com/old_fav/index.html

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: mooman
Date: 06 May 03 - 09:49 AM

Dear Morty,

I don't actually know but suspect that plectrums are made from some secret quantum supermaterial that has the ability to exploit very narrow wormholes in the fabric of space-time and disappear and reappear at random (i.e. Schrodinger's Plectrum Theory).

Regarding socks...these people appear to have the knowledge to help:

The bureau of missing socks

Best regards,

moo

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 06 May 03 - 11:36 AM

EARRINGS!! Always expensive earrings, never cheap ones. I believe that the multi-holes in ears trend came about because people had a ton of single earrings in their jewellery boxes.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Cluin
Date: 06 May 03 - 08:54 PM

Teaspoons! Never any in the drawer, but the table spoons are spilling over. I think the teaspoons are the immature form of the tablespoon and all mine have grown up.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 03 - 09:12 PM

OK. Which one of you was enjoying my house keys the last few days? They have returned.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 03 - 09:47 PM

In an attempt to foil the sock-warp syndrome I actually bought one of those tag guns that they use in stores to put on tags... It stops about half the mis-matches, but I've yet to solve to black holes under children's beds....

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 03 - 11:02 PM

I have found the solution to the lost sock problem. It was never mine that was missing, but the laundry would always come up with 2 or 3 of herself's lost somewhere in the Twilight Zone. However, now the girls (who have the same size feet) have grown up and gone away...funny thing, they now all come up even.

Now, what I'd like to know is...what about screws (Spaw! Behave!) Why can't you ever find two screws the same length, thread and head? Every time I have to fix something, I end up with one 1 1/2 inch flat head Phillips and one 2 inch dome head slot. It just ain't fair!

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 03 - 11:05 PM

Well, Tink, it's obivious-- you'll have to tag the kids to the beds. Must be very worrisome having them come and go so mysteriously!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 03 - 04:49 AM

Post-it notes. Those sticky yellow (with variants) note paper pads.

I have hundreds of the buggers in my drawer at work. Can I find any at home? I did a post-it hunt the other day (anything to avoid housework) and came up with no less than 8 different post-it pads, mostly in shades ranging from pastel strawberry to PIIIINK and acid green. Can I find any now?

One thing I am glad to have lost and not found again is the 14lbs in weight I've lost since the end of March! Mrs Duck says she knows where it's gone.

What happens to screwdrivers? We have so many in this house but I can never find the right one. As someone said above about screws, whenever I have a flat slot head screw I can only ever find the Philips screwdriver. When I do find the right one, it's in the most unlikely place (I found one once in my knitting box) and it's mysteriously shed its handle somewhere.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Schantieman
Date: 07 May 03 - 07:21 AM

When I was a bachelor I lived all alone and my socks all stayed in pairs
While I was married my wife did the washing, my life was full of cares
The socks all went their own sweet way and walked around alone
-and they've all carried on in their own sweet way now that I am on my own.

To be sung to the tune of The Foggy Dew, with feeling.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Schantieman
Date: 07 May 03 - 07:27 AM

...and another thing. I used to be able to do things properly.   You know, think clearly, organise myself, other people and events.   When I was 18 I organised a ten-day Scout Camp from my dining table in an afternoon.   In my twenties I ran the technical side of all the school plays, including all the lighting cues, props etc etc.

Now I'm in my forties my head feels like porridge and I can't concentrate on any task for very long. Is it just anno domini or is there something wrong with me??!!

S

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 07 May 03 - 08:08 AM

Morticia

the one you found wasn't a blue one with a picture of an alien on one side by any chance?

I have two black Gibson #1 plecs that I can't account for

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Morticia
Date: 07 May 03 - 08:42 AM

Nope, WM, no aliens.....lemme see...okay..lets set up an exchange shop:

I have in my possession, one emerald green pick claiming to be from Toronto, one heavy duty tortoiseshell,claiming to come from a tortoise I suppose, and one bright red one, that's more coy about it's origins.

I have lost five light,grey picks and one white one....

This is a bit like schoolfriends reunited, don't you think?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Trevor
Date: 07 May 03 - 11:31 AM

Morty - it's simple....

METAMORPHOSIS!

The kitchen scissors vanish, and there's an extra spoon in the washing up bowl when you finish - metamorphosis.

Last night the pencil had disappeared from my music bag at choir practice, but lo and behold, there was a golf tee - metamorphosis.

And I've got a rare example of socks multiplying. The other day I spotted that Helen was wearing one, just one, of my green socks. She said she couldn't be bothered to look for the other one. Rather than cause a scene I thought I would wait until it was heading for the washing machine, spring it and return it to my own heap. I was too late, but when I went to the CLEAN washing pile to rescue it, there it was with it's brother. I just don't understand.

I wonder if Hans Blix would be any good at finding lost bits at Squilver.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 03 - 12:44 PM

We set up a basket above the washing machine specifically for odd socks. The theory is that when you find an odd sock it goes in there and when we have another odd sock, we try to match it up. We call it the Sock Exchange or Soxfam (Thanks again Les Barker). In 4 years have we ever found the other sock in there?

What do you think?!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:11 PM

Schantieman: I think we fill our brains up with loads of toot as the years progress until we reach saturation point. We can't remember the words to a song we sang only half an hour ago, yet ask us what we did on the day Kennedy was shot and we have the have the vision and even the smell of what we were doing at that time.

We are like pc's, if we ask our brains to open yet another programme when we have loads of windows open already, we crash. Tell you what, I'll defragment yours if you defragment mine.

#8-)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:34 PM

Yes, and where is that tiny little plastic part that was supposed to go on the bottom of the fuselage of the Japanese Aichi Type 99 Val dive bomber I built several years ago? It fell (naturally) while I was trying to install it. A desperate search of the entire work area floor, the worbench, and my clothing failed to produce it. I moved furniture, and emptied out every conceivable shelf and box it might have bounced into within a radius of 15 feet. I could not find it. I crawled around on the floor for days staring owlishly at the patterns in the rug and the concrete, and finding tiny things like mouse droppings. Still couldn't find it.

I finally fabricated a replacement for it that looks pretty good, and finished the model, which looks so real I expect it to take off any minute and drop a bomb on the 1/400 Arizona.

I know that stupid part is gonna turn up someday, though. Now that I don't actually need it any longer...

Hobby kit modelling should only be done naked, in a room with a completely bare and smooth floor and no clutter whatsoever. And no friggin' HOLES in the floor either! (sigh)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: Kim C
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:59 PM

Sunglasses. Mine don't usually disappear, but I've heard that other people's do. Maybe it's because I never spend more than $15 on mine.

This morning I couldn't find any trousers.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens to.......
From: JennyO
Date: 07 May 03 - 02:05 PM

Handy hints!

To stop losing single socks, just sew the suckers together.

If you are always losing your remote control, just tape it to the top of the TV.

Well it works ;-)