Lyr Req: George Formby Songs

Subject: LYR REQ: George Formby Songs
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 19 Aug 98 - 09:45 PM

I don't know much about Formby except that he was popular in Britain in the 30's (and 40's?), played a really mean banjo-ukelele, and knew nothing about music - and had a number of 'hits'. Songs like 'When I'm Cleaning Windows', 'Leaning on A Lamp Post', 'Why Don't Women Like Me' and (I think) 'Auntie Maggie's Remedy'.

A number of his songs have been revived over the years, but for the most part I have not been able to track down the lyrics. I am especially keen to track down 'Aunty Maggie's Remedy' which was revived in the 60's. The most I can remember goes:

Now when the baby starts crying There must be a reason And if you inspect it you'll see. The poor little chappy. Has covered his nappy, With Aunty Maggie's Remedy

Chorus

It's me Aunty Maggie's Home-Made Remedy, Guaranteed never to fail, That's the stuff that will do the trick, Sold at every chemist for ....

Any help would be appreciated.

Regards John

Subject: RE: LYR REQ: George Formby Songs
From: AndyG
Date: 20 Aug 98 - 05:37 AM

I'm afraid I can't provide any lyrics but a quick search revealed the following web sites:
The George Formby Society and
George Formby / The Ultimate Collection

which might help you out (particularly the first one).

AndyG

Oh, yes, it's "Sold at every chemist for one-and-a-tick."
which is to say one and sixpence, one shilling and six pence, eighteen pence, 7.5 pee.

Subject: Lyr Add: LEANING ON A LAMPPOST (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 08:38 PM

Chorus transcribed from a video at YouTube. Verse found at http://lyricstrue.net/bandsongtext/George_Formby/Leaning_On_A_Lamp_Post.html

LEANING ON A LAMPPOST
Written by Noel Gay
As sung by George Formby

VERSE: I'm leaning on a lamp.
Maybe you think I look a tramp,
Or you may think I'm hanging 'round to steal a motorcar.
But no, I'm not a crook,
And if you think that's what I look,
I'll tell you why I'm here, and what my motives are.

CHORUS: I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little lady comes by.
Oh me, oh my,
I hope the little lady comes by.
I don't know if she'll get away.
She doesn't always get away,
But anyhow I know that she'll try.
Oh me, oh my,
I hope the little lady comes by.
There's no other girl I would wait for,
But this one I'd break any date for.
I won't have to ask what she's late for.
She wouldn't leave me flat.
She's not a girl like that.
She's absolutely beautiful and marvellous and wonderful
And anyone can understand why
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little lady passes by.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: GUEST,Granny
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 08:44 PM

MY favourite George Formby song is "Riding in the TT Races" which he sang in the film, "No Limit"

Subject: Lyr Add: RIDING IN THE TT RACES (George Formby)
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 08:47 PM

RIDING IN THE T.T. RACES

If there's one thing that I like,
It's riding around on a motor-bike.
I'm a speed king, when I once begin.
I once won first prize two and six.
I know all the dirt-track dirty tricks.
I'm a marvel when I'm out to win.
In a fifty mile race I am the best.
I ride five miles and skid the rest.

So come along and see me riding in the T.T. races
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
I've been riding all my life; I started quite small.
I've ridden fairy cycles, aye, and scooters and all.
Hear the people cheer me when they see me steering backwards.
Down the hill I go at break-neck speed.
See me coming down the street with the winning post on the pillion seat.
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.

Come along and see me riding in the T.T. races.
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
Once my bike was hard to ride, but I didn't mind,
Until I found they'd hitched two charabancs on behind.
Everybody's staring; I am such a daring rider.
My inside rattles when I go the pace.
My ribs begin to shake about; there's all my spare parts sticking out.
So come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.

Alternative ending:
With my gears in reverse, the other way round I'll finish first,
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.


See the following site, also:

http://www.georgeformby.co.uk/lyrics/r_s.htm

Subject: Lyr Add: WHY DON'T WOMEN LIKE ME? (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:01 PM

From YouTube:

WHY DON'T WOMEN LIKE ME?
Written by Jack Cottrell, Bud Bennett & George Formby
Performed by George Formby in the film "Boots! Boots!" (1934)

Now, I know I'm not handsome; no good looks or wealth,
But the girls I chase say my plain face will compromise their health.
Now, I know fellas worse than me, bowlegged and cross-eyed (?),
Walking out with lovely women clinging to their side.

Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Look at Empress Josephine,
The most attractive woman that ever was seen,
Yet Napoleon, short and fat,
Captiviates a lovely-looking dame like that.
Now, if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?

Last night I went out walking. My intentions were to click,
But the sights I saw while walking out, they nearly made me sick.
I must admit I saw some girls, attractive little dears,
Arm in arm with ugly men with cauliflower ears.

So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
What can the attraction be?
That's the thing that always has to worry me.
Although I haven't got a bean,
I've got a lot of things that girls have never seen.
So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?

Now, if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Take Lord Nelson with one limb:
Lady William Hamilton she fell for him.
With one eye and one arm gone west,
She ran like the devil and she grabbed the rest.
So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?

Subject: Lyr Add: AUNTIE MAGGIE'S REMEDY (George Formby)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 02:52 AM

AUNTIE MAGGIE'S REMEDY
Written by George Formby & Eddie Latta
Performed by George Formby in the film "Turned Out Nice Again" (1941)
As recorded by George Formby

1. Now, there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy,
No matter what ailment you've got.
Hey, but I know a special one you ought to try.
You'll find it's the best of the lot.

CHORUS: It's me Auntie Maggie's homemade remedy.
It's guaranteed never to fail.
That's the stuff that will do the trick.
It's sold at every chemist's for one-and-a-kick.

2. Now if you get lumbago, rheumatics or gout,
Or a pain in your Robert E. Lee,
Don't kick up a shindy; you'll never get windy
With Auntie Maggie's remedy.

3. If you set your alarm clock for eight in morning,
You're bound to wake up, I'll agree,
But I'll bet you, by heaven, you'll wake up at seven
With me Auntie Maggie's remedy.

4. In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake.
My intentions were honest, you see.
Since she shouted with laughter: "I know what you're after.
It's me Auntie Maggie's remedy." CHORUS

5. Now when the baby starts cryin', there's always a reason,
And if you inspect him, you'll see,
Ah, the poor little chappie has covered his nappy
With Auntie Maggie's remedy.

6. Now I went to the doctor; I wasn't too well,
And he made me lie on the settee.
He said: "There's trouble brewin'; you've been overdoin'
Your Auntie Maggie's remedy."

7. Now I know a girl who was putting on weight
In a spot where it just shouldn't be,
So I said to Nellie: "Now you rub your—ankle
With Auntie Maggie's remedy."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 07:10 PM

Click here for a YouTube video of George Formby singing AUNTIE MAGGIE'S REMEDY. That video ends with a verse that isn't in the version Ruth Archer posted above:

Now one day at the races, the horse that I backed
Could have won, it was easy to see,
But the trainer said after, it would have gone faster
With Auntie Maggie's remedy—inside its nosebag—
With Auntie Maggie's remedy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 07:23 PM

Click here for a YouTube video of George Formby playing and singing RIDING IN THE TT RACES. The lyrics exactly correspond to what Peace posted above.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: BanjoRay
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 07:45 PM

George didn't sing "one and a tick" he sang "one and a kick", which is what everyone called one and six when I were a wee lad.
Cheers
Ray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 08:33 PM

You're right, BanjoRay: I thought it sounded like "one and a kick" in the video, but not being familiar with the term, I couldn't be sure.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 09:32 PM

Here's one my dear old dad always used to sing around the house - finally discovered where he had gotten it: Our Sergeant-Major.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 08:09 AM

My Dad used to cut George Formby's hair - before the war, this was.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 08:32 AM

Couldn't get away with some of the stuff now!

Oh Mr Woo, what can I do? I've got the working in the Chinese laundry blues...

Anyone ever heard Jon Brindley's version of "Leaning on a lampost"? Very good indeed.

Turned out nice again.

Dave

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Flash Company
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

George used to live about 5 miles from me when I was growing up in Cheshire, he had a house on the Mere to Knutsford road.

Now Mr Woo was a laundry man in a shop with an old green door,
He'll iron all day your linen away, he really makes me sore,
He's lost his heart to a Chinese girl and his laundry's all gone wrong,
All dy he'll flirt, and scorch your shirt, that's why I'm singing this song.

Oh Mr Woo, what can I do, I've got the kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry blues,
This funny feeling is round me stealing,
Oh won't you throw your sweetheart over, do,
My vest's so short that it won't fit my little brother,
And my new Sunday shirt has got a perforated rudder,
Mr Woo, what can I do? I've got those kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry blues.

Now Mr Woo, he's got a laundry kind of tricky,
He starched my shirt and collar but he never touched my waistcoat,
Mr Woo, what can I do etc.....

Now Mr Woo, he's got a naughty eye that flickers,
You ought to see it light up when he's ironing ladies blouses,
Mr Woo What Can I do etc.......

Then there was that amazing ukelele, no one who tries to impersonate him can ever get it right

Flash Company

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:19 PM

If you go Wroxham on the Norfolk Broads, you can see the ruins on the bank of the house he had built in that beauty spot. He had an Egyptian room - it was all the rage since that bloke had found Tutankhamoun. Apparently Max Miller wound him up - saying you've been done. that's ancient Greek not Egyptian.

WH Auden's dad was a vicar at Wroxham as well - great place.

Subject: Lyr Add: OUR SERGEANT MAJOR (from George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 06:45 PM

Copied from The George Formby Society web site, and checked against the video that GUEST,meself posted above.

OUR SERGEANT MAJOR
Written by George Formby, Harry Gifford & Fred E. Cliffe
Performed by George Formby in "George Takes the Air" (1938) and "Somewhere in England" (1940)

Now there's a sergeant major, enjoys life while he can.
He proves to all the ladies he's a soldier and a man.

He sticks out his chest, two pillows in his vest,
A bolster under his rotunda, our sergeant major.
His medals break our hearts. He won them playing darts.
And while competing, who was cheating? Our sergeant major.
    He's far away the worst friend we've ever had.
    When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad.
In the canteen bar, you know what sergeants are.
When we've passed out, who's the last out? Our sergeant major.

He's got a raucous voice. His language isn't choice.
In clink we'd shove him. How we love him! Our sergeant major.
His weight about he'll throw, the wicked so-and-so.
Who'd even smother his own mother? Our sergeant major.
    He's far away the worst friend we've ever had.
    When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad.
Our bugler goes his rounds, and when the bugle sounds,
Forever lasting, who's he blasting? Our sergeant major.
***
Now, he makes raw recruits just tremble in their boots.
He calls 'em slackers. Who's gone crackers? Our sergeant major.
His feet fill up the road, knock-kneed and pigeon-toed.
We'd sooner shoot him than salute him, our sergeant major.
    He's far away the worst friend we've ever had.
    When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad.
The mascot goat we own, so big and fat has grown.
Wild and warlike, he's far more like our sergeant major.

Subject: Lyr Add: IMAGINE ME IN THE MAGINOT LINE (G Formby)
From: The Walrus
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 04:06 AM

Does anyone remember the film - one of Formby's early 'Service' films (late 1939/early 1940*), that featured the song "Down on the Maginot Line" (below), It seemed to catch the mix of bravado and confidence that appears typical of that 'pre-contact' period**

IMAGINE ME IN THE MAGINOT LINE

You should see me out in France wearing my tin hat.
Midst shot and shell it's worse than..! Well it's even worse than that.

Now imagine me on the Maginot Line, sitting on a mine in the Maginot line.
Now it's turned out nice again, the army life is fine.

French girls make a fuss of me; I'm not French as you can see
But I know what they mean when they say 'Oui, Oui', down on the Maginot line.

Now imagine me in the Maginot line, sitting on a mine in the Maginot line
Now it's turned out nice again, the army life is fine.

The enemy we had to chase, but my gun got out of place.
I went and shot the colonel in the base, down on the Maginot line.

Now imagine me in the Maginot line, sitting on a mine in the Maginot line.
Now it's turned out nice again, the army life is fine.

At night myself to sleep I sing, to my old tin hat I cling.
I have to use it for everything, down on the Maginot line.

Now imagine me in the Maginot line, sitting on a mine in the Maginot line
Now it's turned out nice again, the army life is fine

Suddenly a pain I felt. A doctor on my tummy knelt.
He slapped a poultice underneath my belt, right on the Maginot line.

Now imagine me in the Maginot line, sitting on a mine in the Maginot line
Now it's turned out nice again, the army life is fine.

Hitler can't kid us a lot. His secret weapon's 'tommyrot"
You ought to see what the sergeant's got, down on the Maginot line, down on the Maginot line.

Can anyone help?

Walrus.

* Certainly from the 'Phoney War'/'Sitzkrieg' period.
** The Allies were preparing to re-fight the Great War and were prepared for the defence, unfortunately, not for defence against Blitzkrieg.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 04:45 AM

A whole ruck of his songs here:

http://uk.youtube.com/results?search=related&search_query=George%20Formby%20Music%20Hall%20Blackpool%20Wigan%20Beatles&v=55-oNqY

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Flash Company
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 10:13 AM

Ther was a song in the film 'Bell Bottom George' that led to questions being asked in Parliament because it was thought to be contrary to the war effort. It was called 'It Serves you right, you shouldn't have joined'
Can't remember all of it, but here is what I have in the memory bank.....


It serves you right, yiu shouldn't have joined,
It jolly well serves you right,
It serves you right, you shouldn't have joined,
You might have been sitting tight,
You might have been in civvy street instead of in the fight,
It serves yoo right, you shouldn't have joined,
It jolly well serves you right,
And it's no use kicking up a row, 'cos you're nobody's sweetheart now,
Oh I thought in every port I'd get a cuddle every night,
But all I've done is cuddle a gun and work up an appetite.

I used to be a chimney sweep in dear old Wigan Town,
I used to do the ladies down the street for half-a-crown,
But now I don't get nothing for the little jobs I do,
I wish I was in Wigan sweeping Mrs Jones's Flue,

But it serves me right etc......
And it's no use kicking up a row, because I'm nobody's sweetheart now,
Theres a draught around me fore and aft, Me jumpers much too tight.
I've got barnacles on me binnicle and it bloody well serves me right!

Brian Q

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 06:56 PM

Walrus: Click here for information about George Formby at IMDb (The Internet Movie Database). I see it doesn't list a song with "Maginot" in the title—which isn't too surprising. IMDb's data is impressively detailed about recent films, but it's often incomplete when you're searching for information about the soundtrack of old movies.

However, I see GF was in a film called "Turned Out Nice Again" (1941). Since that phrase occurs repeatedly in the song you quoted, I'm guessing that's the film you had in mind.

Subject: Lyr Add: IT SERVES YOU RIGHT (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 07:14 PM

IT SERVES YOU RIGHT
Written by Elton Box & Desmond Cox
Performed by George Formby in the film "Bell-Bottom George" (1944)

Ever since the days of old, the Navy's ruled the waves.
For years they've told the world that Britons never shall be slaves.
The Navy still remembers and you'll often hear them say
What Nelson told Napoleon upon Trafalgar Day:

It serves you right; you shouldn't have joined; it jolly well serves you right.
It serves you right; you shouldn't have joined; you might have been sitting tight.
You might have been in Civvy Street instead of in the fight.
But it serves you right; you shouldn't have joined; it jolly well serves you right.

And it's no use kicking up a row because you're nobody's sweetheart now.
You can weep and sigh and pipe your eye but still you're in the fight.
It serves you right; you shouldn't have joined; it jolly well serves you right.

I wouldn't mind the Navy if the blinking ship were still.
It's all this bobbing up and down that makes me feel so ill.
The sea's all right for sharks and whales and things the like of that,
But I'd rather stick my marlin spike in Ilkley Moor baht 'at.

But it serves me right; I shouldn't have joined; it jolly well serves me right,
It serves me right; I shouldn't have joined; I might have been sitting tight.
When I was cleaning windows, I would keep 'em nice and bright,
But now I'm polishing portholes, rubbing them up with all me might.

And it's no use kicking up a row because I'm nobody's sweetheart now.
One day up in the crow's nest I was feeling bright and gay,
Till the captain shouted, "Don't come down; we've taken the ship away".

I used to be a chimney sweep in dear old Wigan town.
I used to do the lady's down the street for half a crown,
But now I don't get nothing for the little jobs I do.
I wish I was in Wigan sweeping Mrs. Jones's flue.

But it serves me right; I shouldn't have joined; it jolly well serves me right
It serves me right; I shouldn't have joined; I might have been sitting tight.
I thought in every port I'd get a cuddle every night,
But all I've done is cuddle a gun and work up an appetite.

And it's no use kicking up a row because I'm nobody's sweetheart now.
There's a draught around my fore and aft; my jumper's much too tight.
I've got barnacles on my binnacle and it ruddy well serves me right.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Flash Company
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 07:32 AM

Nice one Jim! That fills in the bits I'd forgotten.

Brian Q

Subject: Lyr Add: CHINESE LAUNDRY BLUES (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 07:38 PM

There's a "video" of this song at YouTube, but all you see is a record player. Anyway, it was helpful for sorting out these lyrics.

Lyrics are copied from here and corrected by me based on the above-mentioned "video."


CHINESE LAUNDRY BLUES
Written by Jack Cottrell & George Formby
Performed by George Formby in "Boots! Boots!" (1934)
As recorded by George Formby, 1-Jul-1932.

1. Now, Mr. Wu was a laundry man in a shop with an old green door.
He'd iron all day your linen away. He really makes me sore.
He's lost his heart to a Chinese girl and his laundry's all gone wrong.
All day he'll flirt and scorch your shirt. That's why I'm singing this song.
Oh, Mr. Wu, what shall I do?
I'm feeling kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.

2. This funny feeling keeps round me stealing.
Oh, won't you throw your sweetheart over, do?
My vest's so short that it won't fit my little brother,
And my new Sunday shirt has got a perforated rudder.
Mr. Wu, what shall I do?
I'm feeling kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.

3. Now Mr. Wu, he's got a naughty eye that flickers.
You ought to see it wobble when he's ironing ladies' blouses.
Mr. Wu, what shall I do?
I'm feeling kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.

4. Now Mr. Wu, he's got a laundry kind of tricky.
He starched my shirts and collars but he never touched my waistcoat.
Mr. Wu, what shall I do?
I'm feeling kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.

[Instrumental interlude]

5. Mr. Wu, what shall I do?
I'm feeling kind of Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.

[There's another video here, apparently taken from a TV show, of George Formby in his later years, singing this song, but the song is cut short, and he sings only the first 2 verses shown above.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 08:32 PM

Here is another little beauty, but I have not been able to find out who wrote it. Can anyone tell me?

Blackpool Rock

Every year when summer comes round, off to the sea I go.
I don't care if I do spend a pound, I'm rather rash I know.
See me dressed like all the sports, in my blazer and a pair of shorts.
With my little stick of Blackpool Rock, along the promenade I stroll.
It may be sticky but I never complain, it's nice to have a nibble at it now and again
Every day wherever I stray the kids all round me flock.

One afternoon the band conductor up on his stand
Somehow lost his baton - it flew out of his hand
So I jumped in his place and then conducted the band
With my little stick of Blackpool Rock

With my little stick of Blackpool Rock, along the promenade I stroll,
In my pocket it got stuck I could tell
'Cos when I pulled it out I pulled my shirt off as well
Every day wherever I stray the kids all round me flock.

A girl while bathing clung to me, my wits had to use
She cried, "I'm drowning, and to save me, you won't refuse"
I said, "Well if you're drowning then I don't want to lose
My little stick of Blackpool Rock."

With my little stick of Blackpool Rock, along the promenade I stroll
In the ballroom I went dancing each night
No wonder every girl that danced with me, stuck to me tight

Every day wherever I stray the kids all round me flock.
A fellow took my photograph it cost one and three.
I said when it was done, "Is that supposed to be me?"
"You've properly mucked it up the only thing I can see is
My little stick of Blackpool Rock."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 07:50 PM

WITH MY LITTLE STICK OF BLACKPOOL ROCK has been posted a couple of times at Mudcat. See the threads called:

Lyr/Chords Req: With ... Blackpool Rock (G Formby)

Lyr Req: Blackpool Rock--She likes a little bit.. -- although here, it wasn't the song that was asked for.

Like a lot of Formby's songs, WITH MY LITTLE STICK OF BLACKPOOL ROCK was written by Frederick* Cliffe, George Formby, and Harry Gifford.

*Funny thing, though, several web sites—a minority—spell his name Federick Cliffe, not Frederick.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: GUEST,Gordon Waltham
Date: 08 Nov 10 - 07:11 AM

PLease could you postv the lyrics and chords for oh Dear mother for a formby enthusiast since the early 40's I have just bought a Uke and intend learning it I have managed a fes instruments but this one is special

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Nov 10 - 03:36 PM

I recently found a GF CD in the cheapo section. It is 'When I'm Cleaning Windows,' Memory Lane Presents, PGR CD 817, and contains 24 non-PC gems by George.

Leaning on a lamppost
You can't stop me from dreaming
Keep fit
You can't keep a growing lad down
Riding in the TT races
When I'm cleaning windows
Why don't women like me?
With my little stick of Blackpool rock
Somebody's wedding day
Trailing around in a trailer
Dare Devil Dick
A farmer's boy
The Lancashire toreador
Hindoo man
Pleasure cruise
You're a li-a-ty
Sitting on the sands all night
You don't need a licence for that
Auntie Maggy's remedy
our sergeant-major
Mr Wu's a window cleaner now
I did what I could with my gas mask
Chinese laundry blues
Bless 'em all

Thinking about it, I have Fanlight Fanny somewhere, too.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Nov 10 - 03:54 PM

Thought I had. I have a 3-CD presentation box by GF, 59 songs. Disky MP 905068. Or LC 11955, maybe.

I love the cheapo section.

Subject: Lyr Add: OH DEAR MOTHER (from George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 10:09 PM

For Gordon Waltham: (How could I resist anyone who's trying to learn the ukulele?) These lyrics were copied from here (and there are lots more George Formby lyrics at that web site). I can't supply chords; maybe someone else can.


OH DEAR MOTHER

I called round last night, my best girl to see,
Felt in such a plight when she sat on my knee.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, we shared the same chair too.
She clung to me both hard and fast,
And thought her chance had come at last,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, a wasp down her neck flew.
It settled somewhere, I could tell.
She told me where it was as well,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

At a christening once I felt far from bold
When they gave to me the baby boy to hold.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, I wore my best suit too
They sprinkled water on his hair.
There was water, water everywhere.
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, an old woman who lived in a shoe:
I called to see her kids galore.
She said she'd room for a couple more,
But oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, when in the bed with flu,
A young girl felt my pulse, but Lor'!
My temperature rose more and more,
And oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, while bathing in the blue,
Some girls when I came out undressed,
Took snapshots of my family crest,
And oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.
Oh dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: George Formby Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 11 - 11:36 AM

Can anyone get me the chords for It Serves Me Right? Thanks

Subject: Lyr Add: GRANDAD'S FLANNELETTE NIGHTSHIRT (Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Apr 17 - 07:00 PM

GRANDAD'S FLANNELETTE NIGHTSHIRT
Written by George Formby & Eddie Latta.

I. As recorded by George Formby.

Now in our family we've got an heirloom; they handed it to me a year ago.
It's been in our possession since Grandad was a lad; I'll tell you what it is and then you'll know.

It's me grandad's flannelette nightshirt; in it I was christened one day.
Down at the church, they were in a whirl.
No one seemed to know if I were boy or girl.
They'd had one or two and, ee, they were in a mess! "But it's all right," said the preacher, rather curt.
"I've been and had a quiz,
And I've found out what it is,
By his grandad's flannelette shirt,
Lordy, Lordy! His grandad's flannelette shirt."

In me grandad's flannelette nightshirt, I got married one day.
In the train my bride gave a shout:
"Ee, what is that you are pullin' out?"
I said: "It's old-fashioned and it's tattered and torn, but I've brought it honeymoonin' with me, Gert."
When she said: "What is it, dear?"
I whispered in her ear:
"It's me grandad's flannelette shirt,
Lordy, Lordy! Me grandad's flannelette shirt."

The other day I got an invitation to go and join a nudist colony,
And as the life is healthy and in the open air, I trotted off as happy as can be.

With me grandad's flannelette nightshirt, I walked up to the door.
Someone said: "Now don't make a fuss.
Just take off your clothes and you'll be like us."
I was bashful so I stayed by myself, for with the girls I didn't want to flirt,
But when I fell asleep,
They all came and had a peep
At me grandad's flannelette shirt,
Lordy, Lordy! Me grandad's flannelette shirt.


II. Additional verse and chorus sung by George Formby in the film "To Hell with Hitler" a.k.a. "Let George Do It" (1940):

In eighteen ten, Grandfather joined the army, to fight Napoleon across the sea.
You've heard about the battle they had at Waterloo, but what was it that brought us victory?

Why, me grandad's flannelette nightshirt! It saved old England that day.
Bonaparte said: "We are undone!"
Even Josephine put her gas mask on.
He shot down our colours and captured our flag, but we are not downhearted, it's a cert,
For flyin' in the gale,
Everyone could see the tail
Of me grandad's flannelette shirt,
Lordy, Lordy! Me grandad's flannelette shirt.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BARMAID AT THE ROSE AND CROWN (Formby
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 May 17 - 12:39 PM

THE BARMAID AT THE ROSE AND CROWN
As recorded by George Formby.

In town there is a little pub which gives much satisfaction.
The men don't go there for the beer; the barmaid's the attraction.
Her age is—oh, well, quite all that, and more on Monday mornin'.
She knows her onions, take my word; she's heard the gypsy's warnin'.

She lays on powder thick as crust; I've smacked her cheeks and what a fuss!
I couldn't see her face for dust, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

She wears nice undies full of thrills, all silk and lace and saucy frills.
I know because I've seen the bills, and paid 'em at the Rose and Crown.

There is a tavern in the town, in the town,
And in that tavern, there's a bust forty inches 'round.

She's got a figure fine and fair; there's lots of it and some to spare.
It goes in here and comes out there, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

She likes to think that you are hers, and if you prove a quitter,
She'll cry into your glass of mild and turn it into bitter.
She'll have a little drink with you and make you nice and cosy,
And if you never count your change, you'll make a hit with Rosie.

She always looks so very posh; so many rings she wears, by gosh,
Her hands she'll never has to wash, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

The pendant round her neck is great; it's larger than a dinner plate.
She's got round shoulders with the weight, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

There is a tavern in the town, in the town,
And in that tavern there's a lass in a glitt'ring gown.

With jewellery, she takes the bun; her earrings weigh quite half a ton.
She lets me swing on them for fun, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

Now if you want her to seize, and round her waist you give a squeeze,
You'll hear her shout: "Not this side, please!" the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

If she ever falls for you, her kiss will last an hour or two.
She's got her lipstick mixed with glue, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

There is a tavern in the town, in the town,
And in that tavern there are lips that have won renown.

But if you take her for a mug, and ever try to sneak a hug,
She'll kick you in the bottle and jug, the barmaid at the Rose and Crown.

Subject: Lyr Add: BELL BOTTOM GEORGE (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 May 17 - 02:57 PM

BELL BOTTOM GEORGE
Written by Phil Park & Harry Parr Davies,
As sung by George Formby in the film "Bell-Bottom George" (1944) – see YouTube.

Now I can guess that some of you
Are wond'rin' at my navy blue.
Or how I came to be,
Oh, a sailor on the sea.
You may think that I'm too daft
To know what's for'ard or which is aft,
But when I've sung my song,
Oh, you'll all agree you're wrong.

A happy-go-lucky A. B.
On the land or the sea,
I know a few nautical games
And me name's Bell Bottom George.

A girl in each port may be true
Of the boys dressed in blue.
A sailor I know has got three,
And it's me, Bell Bottom George.

It's the same to me if we sail to Tripoli,
Or we roll back home to Dover.
I can go ashore and have one or two more
Till I'm feelin' half-seas over.

Adventures I've had by the score.
What a life! What a war!
If ever you get in a scrap,
I'm your chap, Bell Bottom George.

§ There isn't a chap in the fleet
Who doesn't shout when we meet:
"What have you been up to today?
On your way, Bell Bottom George!"

When commodores chat in the mess,
What's the drift? Can't you guess?
"Old George has been at it again.
What a brain! Bell Bottom George!"

At the admiralty, when they have a jug o' tea,
They discuss my wild career.
And the First Sea Lord says that how I got aboard,
Well, he'd really no idea.

So if I'm in blue by a fluke,
Say to me and my uke:
"The Navy would like you to stay.
You're OK, Bell Bottom George."

§§ When others are up to their necks
Pullin' ropes, scrubbin' decks,
Who slips on the soap and goes whiz
Down on his Bell Bottom George?

The admiral's not a bad guy.
We get on, he and I.
He speaks when we meet on the stairs:
"Gangway there, Bell Bottom George!"

And the chief is grand, so I always lend a hand
With a grin and a smart "Aye-aye, sir!"
And it's fun, by gum, when I've had a tot of rum.
I'm the champion main-brace splicer.

I've sailed the Dead Sea and the Med
And the Black and the Red.
There's only the ... Sea*
Left for me, Bell Bottom George.


Verses between § and §§ are sung in the film, but are omitted from the recording.

* Several online lyrics sites have "There's only the suck it and see" but I refuse to believe that's what he's singing. But what is it? Sorkiton Sea? Sulkiton Sea?

Subject: Lyr Add: COOKHOUSE SERENADE (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 09:51 PM

COOKHOUSE SERENADE
As recorded by George Formby, 11-Oct-1942.

Now Jimmy Jones he came home from camp, you know; and he walked with a military swing.
He did look well; he said: "Army life, why, it was great, except for just one thing."

Mama used to say: "Please peel those potatoes."
Did I peel potatoes? No!
Now the sergeant yells: "Hey, peel those potatoes!"
And I peel, I peel, I peel, I peel, I peel, I peel, I peel.
Grandma used to say: "Please slice those tomatoes."
Did I slice tomatoes? No!
Now the corporal yells: "Hey, slice those tomatoes!"
And I slice, I slice, I slice, I slice, I slice, slice, slice, slice, slice.
My uniform is an apron; I'm learnin' to cook and bake.
Now when I get out o' the army, what a wonderful wife I'll make!
Papa used to say: "Please sweep up the kitchen."
Did I sweep the kitchen? No!
Now the captain yells: "Hey, sweep up the kitchen!"
(He sweeps, he sweeps, he sweeps, he sweeps.)
That's the cookhouse serenade.

Father used to say: "Please stick up a notice."
Did I stick the notice? No!
Now the sergeant yells: "Hey, stick up that notice!"
And I stick, I stick, I stick, I wish he'd stick it up himself!
When a girl asks for a lift in the rollo(?),
Do you think I refuse her? No!
And she likes the way I handle the chassis,
And the clutch I clutch with nimble touch; I clutch, I clutch, I clutch.
When I was cleanin' me windows, I would look in to see who's who.
Now the only thing that I look in is a saucepan of army stew.
Teacher said: "What shall we do with you, Georgie?"
Did I tell the teacher? No!
Now the cook says: "What shall we do with the porridge?"
So I tell him what to do with it.
That's the cookhouse serenade.

Now I told my girl I'd keep off the ladies.
Did I keep me promise? No!
When she wrote: "What have they got that I've not got?"
I replied: "Oh, now, but, dear, they've got it here; they've got it here."
In the army sometimes you'll hear 'em swearin'.
Do you hear me swearin'? No!
But the things I think concernin' the sergeant,
He's an [*], he's an [*], he's an [*], he's an [*], he's an [*], he's an [*], he's an [*].
My uniform is an apron; I'm learnin' to cook and bake.
Now when I get out of the army, what a wonderful wife I'll make!
In the laundry they say: "Please press all the blouses."
Did I press the blouses? No!
Now the ATS say: "Will you press all our blouses?"
And I press, I press, I press, I press.
That's the cookhouse serenade.


[*] represents a one-syllable donkey [or ass] braying sound.
ATS, pronounced "ats," Auxiliary Territorial Service, the women's branch of the British Army from 1938 to 1949.

Subject: Lyr Add: BLACKPOOL PROM (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:07 PM

BLACKPOOL PROM
As recorded by George Formby, 11-Nov-1944.

I've just been on my holidays to Blackpool by the sea.
Although I'm feeling mighty fit, my feet are troubling me.
I queued for hours and hours, but I must say it was grand
To get as near as half a mile to several miles of sand.

On Blackpool prom on Saturday, I had a lovely time.
I queued for breakfast; I queued for lunch.
I queued for bananas in a bunch.
I queued for a glass of bitter; the old woman was watching the pram.
I queued for Beryl's* gin and lime.
It really was a pantomime.
Before I got served, they shouted time,
So I queued for a queue with a tram.

On Blackpool prom on Saturday, oh, what a lovely day!
I queued for oysters; I queued for rock.
I queued for a view of the town-hall clock.
I queued for the fun of queueing, and I murmured: "What a do!
A game of snooker would be great."
I queued to put me name on a slate,
Then after sixty minutes' wait,
I queued in a queue for a cue.

On Blackpool prom on Saturday, the women looked simply grand.
I queued for the dark 'uns; I queued for the fair.
I queued for the chance to have me share.
Oh, boy, was I up and doing, and I murmured: "I love you."
Her figure it was like a dream:
Quite big at the front and broad at the beam,
But it was the missus that I'd seen,
So I flew from the queue, wouldn't you?


[*Beryl was George's wife.]

Subject: Lyr Add: FRIGID AIR FANNY (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:12 PM

FRIGID AIR FANNY
Written by Fred E. Cliffe, George Formby & Harry Gifford, 1938.
As recorded by George Formby, 11-Dec-1938.

A foreign dame to England came; for months she'd been afloat,
Travellin' first-class—that's the worst class—on that cattle boat.

See her with a gay rag wrapped around a hay bag, rattlin' a tambourine.
That's Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.
At the cabaret show, rotten apples they throw, shouting: "Keep the party clean!"
To Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.
Now, don't tell her she's frozen mutton, for if you do,
Soon you'll get the frozen mitt and the cold shoulder too.
You can recognize her; there's nothing to disguise her, except a bit of crêpe de chine.
That's Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.

Now since a child out in the wild—that's where she used to dwell—
In the land where beef gets canned, there she gets canned as well.

Sitting on an icebox, melting all the ice blocks, she's the hottest thing you've seen.
That's Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.
When she does the rumba, police will take her number and firemen dash on the scene
To Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.
Now don't tell her she's frozen mutton, for it you do,
You will get the frozen mitt and the cold shoulder too.
Her teeth are not a grand set; she bought a second-hand set and stuck 'em in with Seccotine.
That's Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.

Now don't tell her she's frozen mutton, for it you do,
Soon you'll get the frozen mitt and the cold shoulder too.
People call her two-face, tying up a shoelace; you can see the face they mean
On Frigid Air Fanny, the frail from the Argentine.

Subject: Lyr Add: I ALWAYS GET TO BED BY HALF PAST NINE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:16 PM

I ALWAYS GET TO BED BY HALF PAST NINE
As recorded by George Formby, 31-May-1940.

Long hours don't appeal to me; up late I never sit.
Early to bed, I've always said, keeps us young men fit.

One evening while in gay Paree,
A nice young lady said: "Oui, oui!"
I said: "Such things aren't good for me.
I always get to bed by half past nine."
An air-raid warden shouted: "Men,
Expect a raid at half past ten."
I said: "No use; it's too late then.
I always get to bed by half past nine."
I never wander around after dark.
I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark.
Opposite, a girl so slick
By candlelight undresses quick.
Nine thirty-five, she snuffs her wick.
I always get to bed by half past nine.

I curl my knees up to my chin when into bed I fall.
All through the night, I'm tucked up tight with my face turned to the wall.

Our little hens were makin' free.
The rooster said: "Don't flirt with me.
I'm not so young as I used to be.
I always get to bed by half past nine."
A bookie bolted, sad to tell,
The punters all began to yell.
He shouted as he ran like—well:
"I always get to bed by half past nine."
I never wander around after dark.
I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark.
A sultan said: "You look hot stuff.
My hundred wives I use, no bluff."
I said: "For me, one's quite enough.
I always get to bed by half past nine."

I heard our old tomcat shout:
"Maria, are you coming out?"
But Maria knows what she's about,
'Cause she always gets to bed by half past nine.
A nudist said: "Of clothes I've none.
Still, I won't be sat upon.
It's time I put my nightie on.
I always get to bed by half past nine."
I never wander around after dark.
I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark.
My family's too large for our flat.
I've got fourteen kids; my hat!
But I'm really not surprised at that.
I always get to bed by half past nine.

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T LIKE (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:42 PM

I DON'T LIKE
As recorded by George Formby, 11-Jul-1937.

I'm so shy in ev'ry way.
Can't tell what I want to say.
Afraid I'm much too slow.
Other lovers get on swell,
But when I'm beneath your spell,
I can't let myself go.

I don't like.
Full of passion I could be.
You'd wonder what's come over me,
But I don't like.
If you knew,
I could be romantic too,
And even prove how I love you,
But I don't like.
Can't we take a lesson
From the birdies up above?
They enjoy life's blessin'
And they all get on with a little bit o' love.
But I don't like.
On my knees I'd gladly go.
I'd be a reg'lar Romeo,
But I don't like.

I don't like.
When I'm all alone with you,
There's always somethin' we could do,
But I don't like.
I'm not rough.
Sure I've waited long enough.
I want to start and do my stuff,
But I don't like.
Can't we take a lesson
From the birdies up above?
They enjoy life's blessin'
And they all get on with a little bit o' love.
But I don't like.
If I had the stronger will,
I'm certain I'd give you a thrill,
But I don't like.

I don't like.
I've never loved a girl before.
I'd take you home and lock the door,
But I don't like.

Subject: Lyr Add: I WONDER WHO'S UNDER HER BALCONY NOW
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:46 PM

I WONDER WHO'S UNDER HER BALCONY NOW
As recorded by George Formby, 22-Oct-1938.

Things have gone wrong
With my love song.
I'm not serenading tonight.
In my place there's somebody new
Doing the things that I ought to do.

I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?
Will he kiss her under the nose
Or underneath the archway where the sweet William grows?
If he's fresh and gets too free,
I hope a bulldog bites him in the place it bit me.
I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?

I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?
Will he kiss her under the nose,
Or underneath the archway where the sweet William grows?
I will bet, ten to one,
There's not a thing that he can do that I haven't done.
I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?

I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?
Will he kiss her under the nose,
Or underneath the archway where the sweet William grows?
May he fall, feel a wreck,
And stagger home without the trelliswork round his neck.
I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?

I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?
Will he kiss her under the nose,
Or underneath the archway where the sweet William grows?
I hope he catches the lot
When she empties out her old geranium pot.
I wonder who's under her balcony now. Who's kissing my girl?

Subject: Lyr Add: IN MY LITTLE SNAPSHOT ALBUM (G Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:50 PM

IN MY LITTLE SNAPSHOT ALBUM
As recorded by George Formby, 3-Apr-1938.

Now I'm a young inventor, a chap with good ideas.
I've built myself a camera; it took me years and years.
It's a wonderful invention, with special xray tricks.
It can take a picture in the dark, and can even see through bricks.
I bought myself an album and filled it up with snaps,
And I've got some lovely pictures of the local girls and chaps.

Now I've got a picture of the girl next door
In my little snapshot album,
And I've never had a better snap before
In my little snapshot album.
The night was dark and the hour was late.
She was kissing her boy by the garden gate.
Wouldn't she love to see page eight,
In my little snapshot album?

And I've got a picture of my old grandad
In my little snapshot album.
He's over eighty but a real bad lad,
In my little snapshot album.
Although he's an old antique,
He thinks he's still the village shiek.
I've got him dancing cheek to cheek
In my little snapshot album.

Now I've got a picture of the vicar's wife
In my little snapshot album,
Chasing the curate with a carving knife,
In my little snapshot album.
Now what he did was all in fun,
But it's not the kind of thing that's done.
I can see he pinched her hot cross bun
In my little snapshot album.

And I've got a picture of a nudist camp
In my little snapshot album—
All very jolly but a trifle damp,
In my little snapshot album.
There's uncle Dick without a care,
Discarding all his underwear,
But his watch and chain still dangles there,
In my little snapshot album.

Subject: Lyr Add: IT'S A GRAND AND HEALTHY LIFE (G Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 10:55 PM

IT'S A GRAND AND HEALTHY LIFE
As recorded by George Formby, 18-Jun-1939.

Some chaps like a game of tennis; some like boating on the sea.
Some are fond of cricket,
Or a ball—they want to kick it—
But there's only one sport that appeals to me:

I love to hike.
That's what I like.
Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!
I tramp a mile,
Then sit awhile.
A bumblebee there in the grass
Comes and stings me on my elbow.
Down comes the rain and I get wet through.
I can't blow my nose because it's already blew.
I catch a chill,
And feel so ill.
Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!

I love to hike.
That's what I like.
Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!
While tramping back,
The night was black.
My girl tripped into a ditch.
I said: "You are a clumsy bounder."
She shouted: "Help!" I thought I'd begin
Pulling her out, but she kept pulling me in.
The ditch was high.
We drank it dry.
Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!

I love to hike.
That's what I like.
Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!
My girl and me
Sat neath a tree.
A great big blackbird with its claws
Came and tore off my girl's jumper.
When she got home, she heard mother shout:
"You haven't come home the same as when you went out."
She hung her head,
And blushing said:
"Ee, but it's a grand and healthy life!"

Subject: Lyr Add: IT'S TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN (George Formby
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 11:02 PM

IT'S TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN
As recorded by George Formby, 2-Apr-1939.

Springtime, summer, autumn, winter—so the seasons go.
Sometimes we get them all at once with a little rain or snow.
The sun for long it doesn't shine.
It's either wet or else it's fine.
Last night I said when I went to bed: "It's turned out nice again."

In this hotel, I'll sleep well; it's turned out nice again.
A sweet young bride then popped inside, turned down the counterpane.
She shouted: "Ooh!" I said: "Peek boo! It's turned out nice again."
Said Mrs Rouse at Seaview House: "It's turned out nice again.
The joint is through, but as a stew, it's turned out nice again."
A fork she stuck into the duck; it seemed to be in pain.
I said: "Here goes for the parson's nose; it's turned out nice again."

When you call upon your girl, you start to be polite.
Though it's raining cats and dogs, you say: "It's a lovely night tonight."
With her you start to bill and coo.
The glass is falling and she is too.
Last washing day, I heard 'em say: "It's turned out nice again."

For the bits of hose, and these and those, it's turned out nice again.
To Mrs James or What's-Her-Names, I said: "You can't complain.
It's the same pair, dear, that you wore last year; they've turned out nice again."
Said Doctor Wright to me last night: "It's turned out nice again.
It's plain to tell, the wife's doing well; it's turned out nice again."
I said to the nurse: "Tell me the worst;" she said: "You will feel vain.
This time it's quads;" I said: "Ye gods, it's turned out nice again!"

Subject: Lyr Add: MOTHER, WHAT'LL I DO NOW (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 11:10 PM

MOTHER, WHAT'LL I DO NOW
As recorded by George Formby, 3-Apr-1938.

Mother, you give good advice; always you mean well.
Now I need it more than ever; I'm inside this cell.

I'm behind a prison wall.
The bed's so hard and much too small.
There's no pyjamas here at all.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?
They told me they would treat me swell,
Tucked inside my little cell,
But up till now it's been like—.
Mother, what'll I do now?
We're parted from each other, and that's too bad.
You're my fav'rite mother, oh, the best I ever had.
Tonight I've got a date, you see,
But they won't let me have a key,
And the warders won't wait up for me.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?

It's hard to pass the time away.
I'm in a dang'rous mood, I say.
I've smoked two cigarettes today.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?
First I stand and then I sit,
Then I sit and stand a bit,
But I can't stand much more of it.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?
We're parted from each other, and that's too bad.
You're my fav'rite mother, oh, the best I ever had.
I got such an awful shock!
I asked the time, for there's no clock,
And the warder said: "Six months, old cock."
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?

They called a lunch from soup to sweet,
But they forgot the fish and meat,
And since the soup, there's nowt to eat.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?
I've had such a tummy ache!
All night long I've been awake.
Some castor oil they made me take.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?
We're parted from each other, and that's too bad.
You're my fav'rite mother, oh, the best I ever had.
I've played Peter, Fly Away, Paul.
I've played tiddlywinks and all.
I've written rude words upon the wall.
Oh, mother, what'll I do now?

Subject: ADD: Runnin round the Fountains in Trafalgar Sq.
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 11:13 PM

RUNNING ROUND THE FOUNTAINS IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE
As recorded by George Formby, 29-Jan-1933.

Now I have got a story, and believe me, folks, it's true,
So if you listen for a while, I'll tell my tale to you.
Now if you go to London, there's a thing you mustn't miss.
It's quite a simple matter; all you have to do is this:

Go runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
That's the thing that ev'rybody's doin' down there.
Just take a peep into the palace yard.
You'll find all the gates are locked and barred
And the soldiers that should be on guard
Are runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

And then there's Madame Tussaud's; that's the well known waxworks show.
Now that's the place that all the country trippers like to go.
The figures that you've heard about, now they're no longer there.
There's only one place you will find 'em; I will tell you where:

They're runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
That's the thing that ev'rybody's doin' down there.
Henry the Eighth chasin' Anne Boleyn,
Old Doctor Crippen lookin' haggard and thin,
And Charlie Peace with his old violin,
Are runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Now when I took a trip to London some few weeks ago,
To see the House of Parliament I thought I'd like to go.
The speaker simply looked at me with such an icy stare.
I said: "Where are the others?" and he said: "I'll tell you where.

"They're runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
That's the thing that ev'rybody's doin' down there.
Lloyd George, Baldwin, dear old Ramsay Mac—
Early ev'ry mornin' you will find them on the track,
With Lady Astor, June and Amy Johnson at the back.
They're runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square—
That's the thing that ev'rybody's doin' down there.
It's the finest sport in all the land.
When you've tried it, you'll understand.
That's why Jack Hylton and his band
Go runnin' round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Subject: Lyr Add: SITTING ON THE ICE IN THE ICE RINK
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 11:19 PM

SITTING ON THE ICE IN THE ICE RINK
As recorded by George Formby, 29-Jan-1933.

Now here's a new amusement that is gettin' all the craze:
You'll find that it's good exercise for folks of ev'ry age.
Now I go there most ev'ry night and sometimes take the wife.
I've never had so many ups and downs is all my life.

Since I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with my skates off.
It's the finest fun I've ever had.
Put it on the ice; it'll never go bad.
There's lots of nice young ladies, and how I like to tease 'em!
If they don't give way, I'll say okay; I set 'em on the ice and freeze 'em.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
We have some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.

Now once I went out walking with a pretty little miss.
She said: "I like you very much" and give me one big kiss.
She was a perfect little blonde and not so very old.
She let me hold her in my arms and, by gum, she was cold!

'Cause she'd been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with her skates off.
Oh, how hot she must have felt!
She sat upon the ice and the ice began to melt.
She was so young and pretty, what a blow that fall had dealt 'er!
For we couldn't pick her up in the ordinary way;
We had to bring a fire and melt 'er.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
We have some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.

Last night I went out for a drink down to the Cherry Tree.
I didn't go there by myself; I took some pals with me.
We landed home at half past two; I rang the front-door bell.
The wife said: "Where've you been?" and I said: "You can to to bed."

'Cause I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with my skates off.
It's the finest fun I've ever had.
Put it on the ice; it'll never go bad.
The buttons bust off my trousers; I got into such a tangle!
I said: "Heaven help the sailors on a night like this,
And never let your braces dangle."

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BLUE EYED BLONDE NEXT DOOR (G Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 17 - 11:25 PM

THE BLUE EYED BLONDE NEXT DOOR
As recorded by George Formby, 20-Aug-1939.

A lovely blue-eyed blondie has come to live next door.
I've seen a lot of her and now I want to see some more.

She's not so shy and not too bold.
She's young and tender, I've been told.
She makes me go all hot and cold—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
On washing day she looks divine
When hanging you-know on the line.
She's got more lace on hers than mine—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
I'm much more friendly with her than all the other guys.
I go all over dither when she starts to roll her eyes.
She's got a little turned-up nose.
Each day she's wearing diff'rent clothes,
But where she gets them no one knows—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.

I took her out because she cried:
She loved the simple countryside.
The cosy nooks filled her with pride—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
I found out in those cosy nooks,
Beside the simple bubbling brooks,
She's not so simple as she looks—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
She hasn't got a brother; her father lives in France.
She never had a mother; she was born round at her aunt's.
I didn't think she'd fall for me,
Till one day she climbed up a tree.
She fell and hurt her dignity—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.

She's learning dancing, and it's true,
One day the splits she tried to do.
She nearly split herself in two—
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
She's fond of music, I am sure.
She asked me in to play some more,
So I supply the music for
The blue-eyed blonde next door.
She calls me in there daily, to sing and have a chat.
She plays me ukulele, and she's getting good at that.
When mother said: "Where have you been?"
"I've been to London to see the queen."
She said: "I know the queen you mean—
The blue-eyed blonde next door."

Subject: Lyr Add: THE WEDDING OF MR WU (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 May 17 - 08:45 AM

Following on the success of CHINESE LAUNDRY BLUES (1932), Formby recorded 5 more songs about Mr. Wu. One of them, MR WU'S A WINDOW CLEANER NOW (1939), has already been posted in another thread, so I won't repeat that one. The rest will follow:


THE WEDDING OF MR WU
As recorded by George Formby, 12-Nov-1933.

There's gonna be a celebration down Limehouse way,
For Mister Wu and his Chinese girl are gettin' married today.
All the folks who use his laundry will be there to see them married, wet or fine,
And the little church will sure be decorated with the washin' off the backyard line,

At the weddin', at the weddin', at the weddin' of Mister Wu.
Oh what a sight!
Won't it be bright?
There'll be colours there of almost ev'ry hue.

The Chinese Laundry Blues will surely be the weddin' march.
There'll be collars, ties and shirts and fronts and stockin's full o' starch,
At the weddin', at the weddin' at the weddin' of Mister Wu.

There's bound to be a lot of diff'rent nationalities.
There'll be some chaps with chopsticks tryin' to eat a plate of peas,
At the weddin', at the weddin' at the weddin' of Mister Wu.

At the weddin', at the weddin', at the weddin' of Mister Wu,
Oh what a sight!
Won't it be bright?
There'll be colours there of almost ev'ry hue.

They broke a piece of china then the marriage vow was read.
She took him home and broke a lovely tea set on his head,
At the weddin', at the weddin' at the weddin' of Mister Wu.

Subject: Lyr Add: I'M THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF MR WU
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 May 17 - 08:48 AM

I'M THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF MR WU
As recorded by George Formby, 18-Jun-1939.

Famous men they come and go.
Where they go to I don't know.
All I know, it's clear:
I'm still here.

I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu.
She feeds me up with nice chop suey too.
Of charm, she has a lot.
Don't know exactly what.
It's just a little somethin' that the others haven't got.

Our honeymoon in China was a do.
We visited pagodas quite a few.
Said a geisha: "You look sporty,"
But I said: "I daren't be naughty.
I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu."

I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu.
She feeds me up with nice chop suey too.
Of charm, she has a lot.
Don't know exactly what.
It's just a little somethin' that the others haven't got.

Said a geisha servin' tea, "Me likee you."
A tasty dish she brought, and made love, too.
Then I said: "You'd better stop quick.
You can't meddle with my chopstick.
I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu."

I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu
She feeds me up with nice chop suey too.
Of charm, she has a lot.
Don't know exactly what.
It's just a little somethin' that the others haven't got.

In the market square of things I bought a few.
They tried to sell me silk pyjamas too.
I said: "Though I might admire 'em,
I don't think I shall require 'em.
I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu."

I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu.
She feeds me up with nice chop suey too.
Of charm, she has a lot.
Don't know exactly what.
It's just a little somethin' that the others haven't got.

Then a girl said: "I intend to marry you.
Of little chinks we'll soon have twenty-two."
I said: "That's a proposition,
But I'm no Chinese magician.
I'm the husband of the wife of Mister Wu."

Subject: Lyr Add: MR WU'S AN AIR-RAID WARDEN NOW (Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 May 17 - 08:50 AM

MR WU'S AN AIR-RAID WARDEN NOW
As recorded by George Formby, 7-Jun-1942.

There's a Chinese laundry man, the famous Mister Wu.
He's chucked his Limehouse laundry shop and his window-cleanin' too.
He's got another job, and it's one of the best.
Now he's doin' his bit for England like the rest.

And Mister Wu is now an air-raid warden,
And don't he look cute
In his new siren suit?
He goes round ev'ry night to make the blackout sure,
So if you've got a chink in your window, hey, you'll have another one at your door.
His headquarters, it's plain,
Are down by lovers' lane,
And he goes there ev'ry evenin' anyhow.
He'll flash his torch into the dark,
And the girls all cover their laundry mark,
'Cause Mister Wu's an air-raid warden now.

One night while on his beat,
A couple he did meet.
They were cuddlin' in the shelter anyhow.
He said: "The all clear's gone, you see,"
And the chap said: "Boy, you're tellin' me!"
'Cause Mister Wu's an air-raid warden now.

His cousin One Way In
One day was helpin' him
To move a time bomb from their shop, I vow;
But it went off bang and there's no doubt
One way in flew one way out,
And Mister Wu's no air-raid warden now.

Oh Mister Wu is now an air-raid warden,
And don't he look cute
In his new siren suit?
He goes round ev'ry night to make the blackout sure,
So if you've got a chink in your window, hey, you'll have another one at your door.
A fire bomb dropped one day,
So close to him, they say,
That he deserves a medal, they all vow;
But that's what you don't understand:
He put the fire out, but he didn't use sand,
'Cause Mister Wu's an air-raid warden now.

Subject: Lyr Add: MR WU'S IN THE AIR FORCE (George Formby)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 May 17 - 08:55 AM

MR WU'S IN THE AIR FORCE
As recorded by George Formby, 11-Nov-1944.

There's great excitement Limehouse way.
Mister Wu is gone, they say.
Packin' his laundry bag, he said bye-bye.
To the RAF he went with glee.
He said: "Please you takee me."
Now he's flyin' way up in the sky.

He's in the air force, is Mister Wu.
He's a rootin' tootin' shootin' pilot too.
His coat of arms are painted rather tricky.
It's two stiff collars and a shirt that's got no elbow.
He looks OK in his uniform, as you have guessed.
He chases women all day long and gives 'em no rest,
But his wife says as a night fighter he's one of the best.
He's in the air force now is Mister Wu.

His Limehouse bus'ness now is closed; that had to lapse,
But still his laundry trainin' is handy perhaps.
He used to stiffen collars; now he's stiff'nin' the Japs.
He's in the air force now is Mister Wu.

Our language so confuses him he gets in a mix.
When ordered on parade one day, gosh, what a fix!
Instead of wearin' camouflage he wore camiknicks,
'Cause he's in the air force now is Mister Wu.

He's in the air force, is Mister Wu.
He's a rootin' tootin' shootin' pilot too.
His coat of arms is painted rather tricky.
It's two stiff collars and a shirt that's got no elbow.
He goes out with his lady friend, Sally Mae Wong.
They love to talk of aeroplanes; now don't get me wrong.
He's so keen on his work he takes his blueprints along,
'Cause he's in the air force now, is Mister Wu.