BS: Why can't pickles fly?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: TheSnail
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 07:44 AM

Preparing for take off.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 02:03 AM

My pickle doesn't fly, but it does glow at night.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 11:51 PM

...the landing site...

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 11:44 PM

"A maxipad has wings, but a tomato flies at least as well"

But both of them land with a "splat", and leave about landing site looking about the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 11:40 PM

The kinship between you and the bustard is actually very close, but it is not anatomical, but alphabetical, sir.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:54 PM

Ossie the ostrich would like to discuss that "unwinglike" comment with you, Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:43 PM

I an usually good at "what comes next" puzzles, but that one puzzled me.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:41 PM

Bull patooties, Amos! Check out that anatomy, boy.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:32 PM

Rapaire. that bird was close kin to you, a bustard.

Ostriches fly not and their wings are unwinglike.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:15 PM

Anyone who has been anywhere knows that the pickle is a wingless vegetable. It cannot fly for the same reason as an ostrich.

Boy, Amos! That one's sooooo full of holes.

In the first place, the winglessness of fruits nad vegetables does not necessarily entail flightlessness. An apple has no wings, but it flies. It flies from the top of the apple tree all the way to the ground. Sure, we humans call it "falling", but to the apple it's "Look, Mom! I'm Flyinnnnnggggg! (THUMP!) Damn, that hurt!"

Secondly, the presence of wings does not necessarily entail the ability to fly. A maxipad has wings, but a tomato flies at least as well.

And an ostrich does have wings, it just also has a one track mind. It gets a helluva running start and then get's so absorbed in running that it forgets to stick its wings out. If it would just learn to multitask a bit it'd probably take off like a rocket.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:14 PM

Les Francophone connais le tongue la!

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:12 PM

Pickles can fly. You just have to launch them with enough velocity to escape the atmosphere.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:12 PM

"Yuck! You'd eat something that had been in cow's mouth?!?!?"

"Guess you ain't never et no egg, huh?"

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:02 PM

Sorry for the thread drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 09:00 PM

Lemme tray that again: TONGUE

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 08:59 PM

One of the things I enjoy about getting back to Quebec is the availability of pickled tonge. DAMN, that's good.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 08:49 PM

Ostriches can't fly? Really, Amos?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 07:53 PM

But, both can dream.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 07:30 PM

Anyone who has been anywhere knows that the pickle is a wingless vegetable. It cannot fly for the same reason as an ostrich.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 06:58 PM

Yes, civilization has declined that much. The places where people once ate pickled pigs' tails and the inebriants that made them want to eat pickled pigs' tails are both part of history.

Can you imagine someone in Starbucks ordering a half-caf grande latté, an organic bran muffin, and a pickled pig's tail?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 06:29 PM

I searched for an old timey thing from my childhood: pickled pig tails. They used to be in every tavern, curled up in a gallon jar like a bunch of skinned snakes. I wanted to share that image with everyone.

Instead I found recipes for fried pig tails, pickled pig ears, pickled pig lips, pickled pig testicles, pickled beets, pickled eggs...but the only picture of pickled pig tails was of a label on a plastic bag from a market.

What is our society coming to, when no one will post a photo of a gallon jar of pickled pig tails? Has civilization declined THAT much?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 04:25 PM

I think Mmario's onto something! There's obviously a conspiracy to use pickling to prevent pigs from flying!

It's a simple syllogism:

Major premise: Pickles cannot fly.
Minor premise: Pickled pigs' feet are pickles.
Conclusion: Pickled pigs' feet cannot fly.

So, it follows that if pickled pigs' feet cannot fly, pickling a pig's feet will keep him from flying!

(Sometimes my brilliance amazes me. I only regret that King khandu no longer frequents this forum so he can vicariously bask in my glory.)

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 03:44 PM

oh but they can

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 03:37 PM

It has lately been theorized that (some) pickles cannot fly because they are not pigs; thus cannot see the wind.

I do note that the topic has hovered primarily around pickled cucumbers, and neglected such items as pickled beets, onion, dilled beans and sauerkraut.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 03:35 PM

Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust;
If it weren't for the ladies, our pickles would rust.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 03:11 PM

It's clearly time to discuss this subject again!

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 11:46 PM

Why not? We park on driveways and drive on parkways.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 11:40 PM

Yes, but it leads to the next, and most obvious question:
Can mud fly if mudflaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 12:50 AM

The proof is here . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Aug 06 - 05:46 PM

'twas answered....

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 06 - 05:16 PM

It's a question still worth asking.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 08:13 AM

they can if you put 'em on my plate

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 05:02 PM

Alabama is one of the few states I have never been to......perhaps I see why.☺

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:19 PM

I have reconsidered my entire opinion of pickles. Amos mentioned the following idea on another thread and it has sent me to pondering*.

Our human concept of intelligence is highly biased toward mathematics and language. We assume that any life-form which doesn't do math and doesn't communicate ideas via language is unintelligent. But, that need not be the case. It is theoretically quite possible for high degrees of intelligence to evolve without the constructs of mathematics and language developing.

Enter the pickle. I have concluded that the pickle meets all requirements set out above. Pickles don't talk, don't surf the Web, don't read books, and don't solve quadratic equations. Therefore, pickles are a highly evolved hyper-intelligent life form. They just don't show it.

If they ever learn math so they can do aerodynamics, I'm certain they'll be flying in no time.






*Pondering is an enchanting little town in the hills of northern Alabama. It's quite lovely in the fall. You should go there sometime.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: GUEST,Lois
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:09 PM

One can't help but wonder about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: jpk
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 05:33 PM

easy,there to darn drunk,why do you think there called pickels,there pickeled,have agood day

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM

I 'ave. It was dreadful. Bloody stupid if you ask me. If pickles could fly, the Poles would rule the world, that's my opinion. Bloody good fing they carn't! The world's in bad shape as it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 01:47 PM

have you seen the hollywood movie The Pickle? or was it super pickle?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 01:18 PM

I dunno if they can fly or not but according to Amos THEY GLOW

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: GUEST,Trevor
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 12:53 PM

Speaking of Bolivia, I had a very hard time getting good pickles when I was there last year. That may have been due to a disturbance in their migration patterns as a result of El Nino. What do you think?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM

Yeah, that sort of thing is definitely worth doing more than once...right?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:52 PM

What probably caused the levitating egg was the dry, overheated pot-bottom flexing upward as it expanded from the heat and bouncing the egg into the air. The same bounce would have probably cracked the shell and caused the ensuing explosion. Neat trick. Next time, make a video.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:49 PM

I once saw an egg levitate all by itself.

I had been in the mood for an egg salad sandwich (a craving that strikes once in awhile, I don't know why). I put an egg on to boil and totally forgot it was there. When the water in the pan boiled out the hissing and smell alerted me to my forgetfulness. I walked in the kitchen and observed the egg lift itself about a foot and a half above the surface of the stove, hover for a brief moment and then explode. Burned hard boiled egg all over the kitchen with that lovely bouquet of sulphur lingering in the air.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 11:40 PM

But, but ....Tuesday is when they cut Rosewood in Bolivia!

(never mind..VERY 'in' joke among woodworkers.)

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 11:10 PM

It's actually simpler than all that. Pickles can't fly because Tuesdays are illegal in Bolivia.

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 08:46 PM

It's not that pickles can't fly. It's just that there are so many of them on the government's "No Fly List" that it's too much hassle. After being pulled out of line and grilled by airport police and then having nasty things stuck up whatever passes as their assholes, is it any wonder they don't fly?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: GUEST,Hiro Nakishima
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 07:08 PM

scroll down

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: GUEST,U.F.O
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 06:44 PM

We can---------------------you just think we can't.

Live in ignorance.

Unidentified Fried Onion.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 06:34 PM

I don't know about pickles, but I can tell you from experience that spaghetti can fly. I've seen it.

What you do is arrange a few strands of cooked spaghetti (I use angel hair, I don't know if it would work with anything else) around on the inside of a metal collander. It needs to be sticky, so don't rinse it off after cooking. Then you wait for them to dry. As they are drying, they stick to the sides of the collander, and then they start to shrink. When that happens, sometimes the force that is created by the shrinking spaghetti being pulled away from the sides of the collander will cause it to break off with such force that it will go flying across the room.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Strick
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 06:11 PM

A former chairman of American Airlines used to brag he saved $2,000,000 by taking the pickle and two olives off the first class meal tray. Of course now they've taken the silverware and more often than not the tray as well, but that's not the point.

I believe that this is why pickles won't fly -- it's a protest. The same goes for olives, of course, but that should be a separate thread.