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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:37 PM Living healthily just means dying in better condition! Yes, the recovery ward is an offshoot (sort of East Wing, where the cousin with the extra toes is walled up) of the Tavern, but with beds instead of benches, hydrotherapy pools instead of hot tubs and hot and cold running bed pans. Nurse, the screens again! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:25 PM Alan C; Just remember that good health is just a guarantee you'll end up dying of nothing at all! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: lady penelope Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:23 PM Any minute now Stilly will be on about a wardrobe and walking into a winter landscape etc. if you get me drift. I'm crawling in here with a chest infection. But have forsaken the Gin for Vodka martinis. Hey Liz & Cat,they sound like groovey gowns.... TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: A Backdoor to the Mudcat Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Feb 04 - 03:11 PM Over there in the corner of the ward, is that a door leading into the Mudcat Tavern? Is that where all of this booze came from? I wonder if there are any frozen leftovers from the holiday bash. . . ugg! It's the Tavern all right, but it ends up in the hall coat closet. Careful, don't trip on the shoes and boots (left behind by forgetful hot tub users?) as you pass through. I wonder if the hot tub is on? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 06 Feb 04 - 12:08 PM Anybody ever read "Gabriel comes to 24" by Russel Braddon? I would describe a required reading for the inmates of this particular Mudcat ward for the terminally decrepit. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:52 AM all of the patients seem to be happy when I leave I strongly suspect that the Mudcat Recovey Ward would be an exception to this circumstance Allan - they would NOT be happy to see you leave, though I am VERY sure they would all be happy to see you show up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Mooh Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:50 AM "I think I'm loosing my marbles, The doctor tells me I ain't got too much time. I think I'm loosing my marbles, He gives me pills to ease my worried mind." (Mainline) The friendly neighbourhood chiropractor has kept me able for almost 20 years, even my GP thinks so. Put my back out while trying to pick up my marbles. I know I never retrieved them all 'cause I often confuse chiropractor with choir practice on my calendar and go to the wrong place. Also gots me a wonky knee and a Frankenstein toe which gives me phantom pains. Otherwise I'm fat and happy. Peace, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Allan C. Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:18 AM I am disgustingly healthy; but as a member of the USO, (Unorganized Salubrious Obnoxiousness,) it is my duty to pop in to wards like these and to be revoltingly cheerful. I will bubble my way through the ward, repeating my mantra over and over: "Hi. What's your name?" "Have you been here long?" "Oh, that's too bad!" "Is there anyone back in Mudcatland you'd like me to say 'Hi' to? "Well, so long." I am not sure how the mantra does its magic; but all of the patients seem to be happy when I leave. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 09:35 AM Hook up the IV gin again, that'll take the pain away! Which was worst, the pain or the embarassment? I find it's usually about equal! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 06 Feb 04 - 08:02 AM Oh dear, cat! I imply that the problem might have been that you were not drunk at the time of the accident?! ;-) I hope there is no pain involved! Is the full leg splint by the same (color blind) designer as the tights you wore at Portaferry? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:47 AM I had the pleasure of wearing one of those lovely gowns this morning as I was rushed into hospital after falling down the stairs (sober before anyone implies I may have been drunk!) and dislocating my knee again. I have spent 4 hours having my leg manipulated to get it back into place and am now sporting a rather fetching full leg splint! They wanted to keep me in over night but as my operation is so close they decided not to! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 06 Feb 04 - 05:03 AM Tinker, send me your address, I just have to get you some of those chocolates! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:57 AM OOh, St Barts have a new design gown that does up at the back of the neck and the left hip, so now there is very little risk of a southern exposure! And it's much easier to tie up alone or one handed. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:55 AM ...and I'll be very careful to drop nothing then.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:54 AM I'm glad I'm not walking round in a hospital gown! Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:50 AM Ah but Fooles, you haven't seen Jimmy's "qualifications" have you?! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:45 AM I did the Australian Sports Medicine Federation Sports Trainer Level II Certification many years ago, but I'm not qualified to hold a candle to you... But I did do the Advanced Resusatation Certificate on the RM head and OxyViva... A little oxygen will clear that headache, but extinguish all cigarettes first please! Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:39 AM Sean Connery or Hugh Jackman to come round with the bed baths? Failing that, the chocolate will do! Jimmy - you have a medical qualification don't you? That gives you every right to come and help with the bedbaths. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:12 PM Sorry, Micca; I guess I misunderstood that slang from across the pond. Strep test was negative; my doc gave me this lovely robitussinC cough syrup -- C for codeine, in case you don't know. Cough is gone, and I will be able to sing Saturday night. Between the vioxx for my arthritis, the trazodone for insomnia, and now this, I am truly feeling little pain at the moment. Since it's virtual booze, I'll have a snifter of my fave cognac, and I have never sipped from the bottle so you may share. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tinker Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:29 PM Hey look ladies, we can have our own fun. And Morti, scroll down to the scond item, my favorite now comes in chocolates What more could a woman ask for??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,.garoyleq Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:25 PM Nurse....please may mine be the same as "jimmy t's" order
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jimmyt Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:14 PM You folks are a sorry bunch but I will fake an illness just to hang out with you here in thie godforsaken ward................nurse GIN????????????????????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:09 PM Ass-Up That's the way we like to FUCK Jo-Mamma, Jo-Mamma, Jo Mamma says you are ugly!!!
Sincerely,
Sincrely sorry all those ...who cannot hold your own within the circle.......but delighted that thee little belly-stability" will now discarde and let the rest share a keg of our own!
Sincerely, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Feb 04 - 09:11 PM And all I have to worry about is the stack of banjo cases (all full) in the corner of the lounge. And any of that Redbreast can be piped this way ANY time you like. Not having been Overnight in Hospital since 1970 ( Oh Gawd - Thats pushing my luck) All I can do is sympathise. And Morty , You can shine in my pallid existence any time you like you sweet young thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:41 PM I only have one and a half... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:38 PM Mudguard, I have TWO of those breasts! At home, on the counter.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:23 PM Because it is a not very widely known brand of Whiskey? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:17 PM Mudguard - it's alcholic, how could I possibly NOT know about it! ; ] LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:02 PM Liz, just in case you don't know it, here is a picture of the breast I am talking about |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Feb 04 - 05:49 PM Grim Reaper - I've told you, I won't go out with you, you only want me for my body. Tinker - that child must be really fed up by now.... hope all settles down soon, and yes, this is a genuine whinge-fest, so don't worry. We will take the p*ss but some of us do actually care. Morty - sorry love, but not all gems are shiny and expensive. But all are pretty (tries hastily to redeem self...) Mudguard - Never pictured you as a breast man, but having a breast transplanted into your mouth will at least give people something to talk about. I'm a rather fetching shade of yellow and purple today. Sort of aubergine really.... it's been a real rainbow trip, watching my bruises! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:21 PM Enters carrying large (and I do mean LARGE) hypodermic. "Which one was complaining about the food, nurse?" (Be afraid. Be very afraid, heh heh.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:07 PM N.H.S. That's pronounced "Nuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrssse!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:03 PM German measlies eh? Right. Here goes. Bubonic Plague? I dream of having Bubonic Plague. Last New Yrs Eve had gall bladder out, home within two days. 25 days later went in again as emergency case. Had appendix + bits of superating bowel whipped out. Last month had awful pains in gut. Things were moving in there, reminiscent of "Aliens". Diagnosed as Post Operative Hernia. Put on six month waiting list for another op to correct it. Pains still bad. Saw Consultant Surgeon. Now on waiting list for remedial appliance (thats "corset" to you) I smoke too much & therefore have shortness of breath, compounded by injury received to spleen stopping lung from fully expanding. I can't bend far enough to cut my toe nails, so they hurt, too. My knees are shot from self abuse when younger and even more foolish, while going all out doing Karate. I also have a cold. You tell that to the kids of today, they just don't know they're born! (I dont even come from Yorkshire!)(Python sketch) O.K. I'll have the bloody bed near the door. It wont be so far to nip out for a quick one. (fag, that is, scotching any untoward comments) (Removes huge sign over bed saying "NIL BY MOUTH" and replaces with "ANY DAMN THING HE LIKES") ....................................Gin? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:11 AM I urgently need a breast transplantation! Can someone please transplant a bit of Redbreast Irish Whiskey into my mouth? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:08 AM Right then, Largactyl and Gin all round with a side order of amytriptiline, not so much a Boiler Maker as a Meet your Maker. Grim, you are entirely forgiven for calling me aged although when I thought about it "Gem" just means I'm sharp and shiny and expensive......hmmm, not a bad description at that *G*. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Grim Reaper Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:33 AM Morticia, Now young lady, I would not call you aged, but with a name like yours are you sure you are a'workin' in the right ward!? (Recovery vs. Morgue) *BG* You are a GEM in anybodies (now body hear don't mean dead) book! You have one of my favorite Mudcat nicknames, and there are many. Grim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:09 AM spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tinker Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:03 AM Ohhh, if I promise to help can I stay long enough to look for a little quiet. Nothing really bad my way, just an unending stream of minor issues divided amonst four kids.... Yesterday we added a fracured growth plate in the 15 year old's wrist when he fell on the ice. We've had six cases of bronchitis, four ear infections, a badly sprained ankle, two sinus infections, the usual asthma/allergies and now this since December 1st. So can the nurse just sit for a while and unprofessionally sip a few too ????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 05 Feb 04 - 09:04 AM Well my feet smell and my nose runs, which must mean I'm upside down. So if you can hook the IV up to an enema tube I'll join you. I don't want the bed nearest the door, as this is where they put all the old men who were dying when I was in hospital last. Some days I could kill for a large dose of Largactyl, just think of the rest it would give me. Move over nurse!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 05 Feb 04 - 08:53 AM 'oo are you callin' a bit aged? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Micca Date: 05 Feb 04 - 04:55 AM MAG did you REALLY mean to say this???? "I'm wanked out on the OTC stuff "or did you mean Whacked out ?? cf UK to US translator, It made I laugh it did |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Sorcha Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:49 AM i saw my Chiropractor today, back and neck feel MUCH better. Thank you. I'll take the Drinks trolley now....bear, please. My right leg says it might just survive with enough bear. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Grim Reaper Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:10 AM Better the Mudcat Recovery Ward than the Mudcat Morgue. "May ye be half way ta heaven afore the devil knows yer dead" Get Well Soon mites, you are the cream of the crop (though a bit aged). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 04 Feb 04 - 11:53 PM OK, as long as this is a legitimate pity pot party, I've had this stupid cold (throat, cough, pflegm) since Tuesday last week. I'm wanked out on the OTC stuff and will finally break down tomorrow and call the doc to see if a throat culture is advisable. we have open mike Saturday; argh! I have to be able to sing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Feb 04 - 08:05 PM Who needs a six pack when you can have a whole barrel..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: pixieofdoom Date: 04 Feb 04 - 08:04 PM Can I just have a gin pack? I'd be as happy with a six pack too though |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:50 PM It wouldn't go warm if you weren't holding it on your bruises.....no, it's okay thanks...I don't want it back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:34 PM Well, seems like we're all a bunch of crips! I just hope that daffodil is going into a vase and isn't for taking a temperature (you have to have seen 'Carry on Nurse' for that joke to have any effect)! I escaped to work today.... shan't do that again for a while. Oi, Morty, it's my turn with the ice pack - this gin's gone warm. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:31 PM Yeah, MAG, I have. I'm only to take the stuff with food. And only one per day for the first week, and then two per day, alla time with food. If that side effect shows up I'm supposed to stop taking them. I haven't started yet, mostly 'cause I'm chicken. Come to Idaho, fall apart.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 04 - 01:12 PM Glad you like it, Fib! |
