BS: MCFAT comes out

Subject: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 02:48 AM

Well I dont know what to say I thought the interest at the end of Whitby folk week was just curiosity but last night MCFat finally came out at Raggy's lifeboat fundraiser.

What can I say one minute my ears were being blasted with 'Lion' and 'No Rum and no Pies' and the next the trusty Epiphone was cast aside like some old rag (Sorry Raggy) in favour of what............................. A BANJO!

There he was happily playing away and stating how the Banjo suited his style of playing AND that it had a nice sound! Realising what he had said he asked me to promise not to tell anyone but what could I say - the man needs treatment!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 05:46 AM

from the computer of R & W... it's all to much but I cannot ell a lie I'm a closet banjo player could be worserer I could be a bodhran player

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 05:53 AM

I knew that there was some dark secret in Jim's life - never quite trusted the fellah   :-)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 06:14 AM

Just keep him away from melodeons!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Cobble
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 11:51 AM

I like Melodeons so there.

            Cobble hehehehehe

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 01:30 PM

McFat - I can give you the addresses of some pretty good therapists - what can I say about them...? The child Limpit is still alive!

LTS

Whatever, if you enjoy it and don't get arrested for it, go for it!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Folkiedave
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 03:56 PM

I never realised Limpit was child of Jim............

As for the man playing a banjo......words fail me.........he could be drummed (or bodrhanned) out of a lot of pubs in Sheffield.

Dave
www.collectorsfolk.co.uk

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 07:00 PM

the second red and white rabbit posting was from Jim using my name on my computer in my house- if he only played banjo in the closet it wouldnt be too bad but in public - words fail me!!

That could be the reason why Liffey didnt like you too much Jim - shes got taste!!

I have no doubt it will be melodeons next mind me thinks he doth protest too much about bodhrans so having been plucking this weekend he could be aiming for banging next closely followed by squeezing - I'm going to keep my whistles well away!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 04:49 AM

Actually, McFat does usually appear to be bursting out all over - has something given way ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 04:54 AM

It's all part of a master plan first I'm going to play the banjos then steal them and destroy them then I shall continue with the Bbodrhans next the melodians, hurdy gurdys and...... sorry can I have my medicine now nursie ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 04:58 AM

At least maybe he'll stop murdering the guitar... ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 05:07 AM

Thinking about the old joke about the skunk and banjo-player road-kills - even without the banjo, there would be no skid marks before McFat - only the ones afterwards where the driver stopped before reversing back over him again!

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 10:13 AM

I am deeply saddened by this revelation, but am cheered by the fact it is not actually Jim but his hologram, the real Jim would never have touched a banjo

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 10:34 AM

Is the banjo a hologram as well ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 11:31 AM

It sounded as awful as he real thing, I think it may have had 6 strings as well

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Mar 04 - 12:02 PM

Just thank god that no-one seems to have invented a 12-string version - or am I tempting providence ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 03:32 AM

You had to go and put the idea in someone's head didn't you..... bad boy...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 03:53 AM

Does that mean he'll get his legs slapped ...........jammy bugger

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 04:43 AM

If McFat just likes the playing aspect of the banjo rather than the hideous sound, perhaps he ought to think about trying a Banjola like the one that Leadfingers was playing at the Dog-Day afternoon last Sunday. It's got a 5-string banjo neck grafted onto a mandola body. It provide a solution for people who get addicted to the banjo in the same sort of way that the patch does for smokers, and virtually eliminates all harmful banjo emissions.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 09:26 AM

how about a 0 string version?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 09:37 AM

Been done already by Maxie of Maxie and Mitch. The strings were drawn on

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 12:11 PM

I'd prefer that sort of banjo - come to think of it - we could have a drawing of you too !

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 02:57 PM

Don't take any notice of them, Jim. And if you REALLY want to annoy people, I'll lend you my spare kazoo!
Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 16 Mar 04 - 04:04 PM

What makes you think that Jim needs a kazoo (or any other artificial aid) to REALLY annoy people.
He is, therefor he annoys.

But that's why we all love him. Especially when he gets to the end of a song and picks up that lovely guitar case.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 02:56 AM

There's nothing wrong with the guitar case - its a work of art!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 03:59 AM

So, it is said, was half a dead sheep in formaldyhdye

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 03:27 PM

When that guitar case slides itself around the outside of the instrument that jim seems to spend half his life torturing then it truly does become a work of art. And it looks nice too!

Wonder if we could find a person case to slide himself into ?????????

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Les from Hull
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 03:36 PM

A case big enough for Jim? I think they're called 'containers'.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 04:30 PM

Well now that's as maybe. But anyone recalling my manly stature and obvious love for those calorific beverages otherwise known as beer, whisky, wine, port, sherry, gin, vodka, absinthe ............ well really anything alcoholic ( except lager), will understand if I do not join in any sizeist discussions.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 04:44 PM

And anyway, surely this whole event is sufficiently tragic to be the source of a ballad.

We've got:-

McDonald
Coming out
The appearance of a BANJO
The Death of an Icon (well he can't be an icon with a banjo)

So howse about lets compose an online, up-to-the-minute traditional ballade.

Maybe to the tune of 'Glencoe' in honour of the only(?) other time that the McDonalds screwed up?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 01:42 AM

Hi Kampervan - cant remember the tune to Glencoe at this time in the morning so a song escapes me but its nice to see my soon to be husband is getting ready for his duel in Beverley by winding up husband number 3 in such a manner

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 03:57 AM

Duel !!! ............. Oh Goody ......... can I come ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 04:42 AM

Oh cruel is the thread that prounounced me dead and made me to play the banjo.......
Well there's the first line folks

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 05:45 AM

and cruel was the player that caused me to sway oh
and made me to play on the banjo..

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 06:13 AM

HELP !! ............ WE (HE) NEED HELP ......... I THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE .......... HELP

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 06:28 AM

Large was the crowd as I played it out loud.
I played it as fast as I can go!
Five were the strings, and now I have wings.
Because they strung me up with the banjo.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 06:53 AM

I know I've been cursed
Thought it couldn't get worse
When they caught me playing the banjo
But I got it all wrong
For in the very next song
They made me to play on the bodhran

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 07:51 AM

Oh God .......... someone pass the razorblade

Hang about ........ I saw another thread that asked what was the worse song you ever heard ...... I acn nominate this even before it's finished

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 08:31 AM

I went to the pub, and found the Folk Club,
I fished out my very large banjo.
The audience, mate, didn't appreciate -
attacked me with a very large mango.

Ar we getting any closer Raggy?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 07:30 PM

How's about one to the tune of the verse..

He went to the session with banjo in hand.
He played it all night, and he thought it was grand.
But the night didn't turn out the way he had planned,
'Twas the night that they murdered MacDonald!

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 07:45 PM

He arrived at the session with soup in a tin
"The Campbell's is coming" he said with a grin
Then somebody threw a tomato at him....
But that was the fate of MacDonald!

Raggy - can you guess what it is yet???
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 02:58 AM

My god he's got it !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 03:52 AM

The song is putting years on me...

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 04:06 AM

This thread is too sensible for me, I'm off home.
John

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 05:23 AM

Jim

Pleased to report that the committee share my view of El Presidente and did not ban me after all .... not strictly true, but my legal team got them on a shed load of protocols they are obliged to observe and did not ........ I actually bought the man a pint ..........oil on trouble waters ....... did he reciprocate ....... did he fuck!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 05:28 AM

Jim

Copperkettle are trying to contact you ASAP re- charity gig problems, give me a bell and I;ll fill you in as best I can

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 07:24 AM

Sir Ragtash, need the number of your telephonic device ring 0114 250 8384 before two or my mobile [phone]

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 10:23 AM

OK that's enough of that - it's about time you went back in again Jim.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 09:25 AM

MCFAT asked me to play around - no comments - with the lyrics you had posted so this is a version of the

Rape of Milnsbridge
MCfat/ Geoff The Duck/R&W Rabbit

Oh cruel is the thread that prounounced me dead
and made me to play the banjo.......
and cruel was the player that caused me to sway oh
and made me to play on the banjo..

To keep lifeboats afloat they came far inland,
To raise money this was what Raggy had planned
He wined them and dined them then McDonald did stand
And started to play on the Banjo

Large was the crowd as he played it out loud.
He played it as fast as he could go!
Five were the strings, and now he has wings.
Because they strung him up with the banjo

He arrived at the session with soup in a tin
"The Campbell's is coming" he said with a grin
Then somebody threw a tomato at him....
But that was the fate of MacDonald!

He went to the pub, and found the Socialist Club,
He fished out his very large banjo.
The audience, mate, didn't appreciate -
attacked him with a very large mango

He went to the session with banjo in hand.
He played it all night, and he thought it was grand.
But the night didn't turn out the way he had planned,
'Twas the night that they murdered MacDonald!

He knew he'd been cursed
Thought it couldn't get worse
When they caught him playing on the banjo
But he got it all wrong
For in the very next song
They made him to play on the bodhran

Some died in their beds at the hand of this foe
Some fled in the night and were lost in the snow
Some lived to accuse him who struck the first blow
Yes the Bodhran's now played by MacDonald

Oh cruel is the thread that prounounced me dead
and made me to play the banjo.......
and cruel was the player that caused me to sway oh
and made me to play on the banjo

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 12:41 PM

Red & White Rabbit, what can I say. I am just overwhelmed by this tour de force bravura composition.
Now the whole world can see why you're every drinking man's crumpet.

Who would not want to be third husband-to-be of the intellect that created the finest traditional song to be written since .... since.... well since anyone first wrote a traditional song, ,,,,, in olden times.

You're just fantastic, and you cook a mena sausage if I remember rightly.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 03:10 PM

I love the way you crawl its so nice to know that I am loved for my talents Kampervan!

I can sew, garden, do massage and only ever speak when I am spoken to:) I can also attend to a man's needs - you know cleaning the bath out, hoovering, providing hot cups of tea, handcuffs, fetching ale like any good wench should

By the way would that mean we will be Mr and Mrs Kampervan ( I got a Romahome before Xmas!!) How's that future step daughter of mine?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 04:15 PM

Well that's all very well, future spouse of mine (get lost MC), and submissive is great sometimes, but don't be a doormat! I like assertive ..... and what's that mcfat/kampervan duel thread that I spy???????

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 06:56 AM

well Kampervan, I dont think anyone would call me a doormat - wrong shape - closer to a doorstep me thinks!!

looking forward to the duel!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 09:59 AM

Nothing wrong with the shape oh lovely one; just checking out the spirit; and it checks out just fine. Here's to the future.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:38 PM

Am I too late for extra verses?
If not... (recalling Jim's performances of (high?) numbers from the pen of Pete Townsend..):-

He came to the concert, with music in mind.
He thought they'd be happy. He thought they'd be kind.
Or maybe he thought they'd be deaf, dumb and blind.
For MacDonald was playing a banjo.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:48 PM

Ole ole.
It just gets better and better!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 05:12 AM

Will someone kindly pass me a sickbag, what nausiating tosh from vamperkan

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:20 AM

..aw shucks

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:07 AM

What's the bag for Raggy? To put over Mc's head?
It won't help R&WR will have a new spouse, and trying to make jom look more presentable just won't help.
Anywway if you can't say anything nice
then you must be thinking of........................... your liege

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:55 AM

Just who is this Vamping Clone Rabbit, are you out of your mind with passion (for a certain gallant nobleman, who is beyond your reach)that you prostrate yourself before such low born vagabonds

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:38 PM

oh insult me all you like. It just bounces off my ring of self confidence.
R&WR knows a good man when she sees one. Well she's seen enough of McFat to know what she doesn't want.
And as for you - hanging on to his banjo strings - well you should find yourself a real gentleman to squire for; not that no good refugee from north of the border.

Don't allow yourself to be used. You can rejoin the human race. Just cut yourself loose from that apology for.... whatever he thinks he is.

And I notice that he's not backing you up in this thread. Where is he eh? Skulking I shouldn't wonder. Letting you take the knocks that should be his.

Come on down big Jim.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:22 PM

Oh Sad, is this the quality of our oppostion my Leige, yawn, ......

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:10 AM

He's still silent though!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:44 AM

So you think I'm silent......Silent but Deadly (or is that just after 10 pints of stout) It's the quiet ones you should fear Kamper for they might just nick your hubcaps and covet whatever you have worth coveting if coveting all right for you.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM

Silent --   like a fart eh? Appears from nowhere, creates a nasty smell, then disappears without doing any real damage.
Yeah, sounds about right.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:37 PM

now its getting below the belt!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:57 PM

My lovely love, soon to be mine; I'd rather that you did not have to witness such sites, or sights.
They are not for such beautiful and sensitive souls such as yours.
If your delicate sensiblities have been offended then the manner of MC's demise shall be even slower, more painful, more offensive, bloodier and altogether more gruesome than even the worst of his own songs.
And that's saying something.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:26 AM

Kampervan watch out !!! I may just let the air out of your tyres !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:19 AM

I hope you all realise that if you sung a parody, or different words, to my melody Glencoe, you must pay me royalties! I will, however not pursue this as my name is McLean, not Campbell.
Cheers, keep it up,
Jim (McLean)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:30 AM

Thanks Jim will pay your royalties in your favourite dram or two when our paths cross. Hope you are not offended. I am a McDonald after all (even if it is a McDonald of Sleat)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:33 AM

KAMPERVAN - perhaps the manner of McFAT's demise should be of the type practised in past centuries where parts of him come out - one at a time !

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 02:04 PM

Sounds good to me. Preferably through the smallest of his orifices, and that would be ?????? the hole in his head where his brain should be.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 02:41 PM

we've been runmbled by a proper musician!! Jim McClean - bet he doesnt murder Glencoe with a banjo!!

Dont remember last years duels being as blood thirsty - you need to think of some songs to trade blows with boys!!

Something like The Rape of Glencoe with its death to McDonald could be very apt - I'm sure someone will help Jim out with some punishments for Kampervan as I couldnt possibly tink of anything to hurt my new beloved!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 03:09 PM

I did once hear an additional verse to my song, written by someone with a grudge against the McDonalds:

The Campbell's a name that is feared far and wide,
They played against Scotland on King William's side,
But one crime they'll never be able to hide..
The didnae get all the McDonalds!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 04:08 PM

I'll gladly pay royalties, performance fees, bribes, under-the-counter cash, over-the-counter cheques, drinks, underwrite record sponsorship deals, and bribe NME to get that verse added to the song and broadcast to the world.
It's just so true...
How could they have missed McFat.
PS feeling very honoured to have the writer of such a world famous song on the thread (even if his name is the same as deadly enemy No1) and I'm sure I'd be very happy to join the queue to stand him a drink

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:06 PM

Thanks Kampervan AND McFat, I'm enjoying this but that verse is strictly spurious .... although a few drams might reveal the author!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:35 AM

Might need to buy a distillery Jim !!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:38 AM

I'm impressed the top three threads

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 05:00 AM

Impressed the top three threads what?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 06:02 AM

Dunno Vicky dearest but this thread has had the stars coming out !!! You included sweetie

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:24 AM

You smooth talking devil, you.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:19 AM

Works every time! Thanks honey - you're a true gent! Perhaps you could teach that 2nd of yours some manners! :o)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:15 PM

Well now we all know the sad, unvarnished truth about our former hero McFat. We thought he was one of us, a supporter of the tradition. Which tradition isn't important, but it certainly wasn't the b***j* tradition.
He's been well and truly outed and so I think that now is the time for all good people to come to the aid of the....(have i read these words somewhere before?) ....well if you want to register your distaste for his despicable actions, his deceit and his betrayal of R&WR (who believed him to be a GOD); then take a stand. Go onto the McFAt/Kampervan duel thread and tell that necrotic apology for a string plucker what you think of him.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:51 PM

By the way, Jim.
Is it your own banjo?
What sort is it?
Who made it?
How long have you played?
We really need to know.
Quack!
Geoff the Duck.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 01:47 AM

Kampervan if you had any wits about you you would have noticed the dastardly MCfat is trying to use this thread to steal away your support - he's back using that McDonanld charm to try and woo your lass - deanmeister did warn you he played dirty

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 01:51 AM

another verse

They needed to know, McDonald please tell
Your own banjo true or one made in hell
And to play it did you have your soul for to sell
Does the Devil now own you McDonald?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:30 AM

No I coveted the banjo from a monkey hanger. Don't know who made it but it was a six string version tuned in 'Nashville Guitar Tuning' That's the technical bit now can we get back to being silly.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 02:26 PM

The banjo it came from some place in the North
Hanging monkeys for them was a matter of course
Nashville style was the tuning so 'get off yer horse'
And make like that monkey McDonald

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:22 AM

Cheeky Monkey !!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:41 AM

Doomed monkey

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 07:22 AM

Oi Krimpingvan, keep the threats to one thread please, how can I insult you on one thread if you respond on another, it's not fair to our avid readership. So play up and play the game

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 11:00 AM

Oh god - we're not going to get all that drivel about "There's a breathless hush in the close tonight " are we ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 02:21 PM

Don't be such a spoilsport shaggyrash.
It'll keep you on your toes.
You never know where the next penetrating observation (insult) will appear.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 03:58 AM

Just spotted this one MC Fat's public accounts....
Check out number 1, then ask if your accountant is doing his job right.
I would at least expect Danger Money to be allowable!
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:15 AM

What are accounts Geoff ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:35 AM

Well - I know that everybody says we can't hold you accountable for your actions...
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:52 AM

McFat - dont forget that under the terms of our agreement half your money is mine - dont see your accountant taking that into consideration

McDonald and money! - please everyone think
Not accountant but wife and and somewhere to drink
And three legged horses taking him to the brink
Yes its bankruptsy for this McDonald

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,padgett
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 03:17 AM

definition of perfect pitch
throwing a banjo down a well without touching the sides

MC Fat Whitby August 2002!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 06:30 AM

Ah, how the mighty have fallen!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 08:02 AM

When he played on the banjo, he soon hit a glitch.
The audience said that they had perfect pitch.
Then they picked him up, and threw him in a ditch.
The banjo, it followed McDonald.

Loud was the "Splat" as he landed like that.
the poor "ditching" boy, McDonald.
Dull was the "Thud" as he went in the mud,
and the banjo it followed McDonald.

A bit far fetched - the picking him up - but I'm using my poetic licence (provisional HGV)!

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 09:15 AM

Congrats Geoff on being numero 100.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 09:21 AM

Geoff's not 100 ............. he just looks it !!

QUACK! :-))

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 09:41 AM

He probably had two paper rounds and a chimiley sweeping job as a kid !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:14 PM

well at least he probably paid his dues - wheres my £40 McDonald?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:15 PM

By the way Jim someone is selling a mandelin banjo - very old - sounds about your vintage!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:52 AM

Maudilin Banjo perhaps

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 08:10 AM

As for throwing McDonald and Raggytash in any river - you'll find that MC Fat comes out.
Quack!!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 08:11 AM

Whoops - wrong thread.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,R&WR
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:51 PM

you criticising my spelling now MCFAT - you just cant resist it can you! Thank goodness soon I will be free of this marriage - oops wrong thread!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 04:03 AM

I never criticise you my sweet I wouldn't dar. This is the self preservation society.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 08:56 AM

Self Preservation :-
Pickled in alcohol?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:24 PM

I just put MCFAT into google and this thread come up - amazing!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 04:22 AM

I'll need to try that !!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 04:32 AM

There's also a 'font' calld MC Fat

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 02:55 PM

We typed him in Google and up came a thread,
Oh what a surprise, the poor typist said,
He fell into a font, and they thought he was dead,
It was always the way with McDonald...


Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 04:42 AM

Yet another verse Geoffrey !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:20 AM

this song could be getting to Child proportions in length!

Have you seen what comes up when you put MCFAT into Goole - you are now in litigation!! I wonder what happens with Raggytash or DeanMeister?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 03:16 PM

Check out the duel thread if you want to find the answer!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 03:50 AM

This ballad is definitely of Child-ish proportions, Child-ish humour, Child-ish humour etc...
In fact, it is the most Childish song I've seen in a long time...
Quack!
Geoff the Duck.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:43 AM

..this from a man who has a duck in his tankard !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 01:49 PM

thats something from someone who sticks his finger up a lions arse and his hand up a sheeps!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:32 AM

..well seeing as you put it that way.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 05:57 AM

Put's it any way you want from the rumours I've heard

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,guess
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:15 AM

you should forget banjos and all that contemporary & american shite and stick to taditional scottish songs THEN YOU'll make some thing of youself........ nar bi sed

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:54 AM

Jim

Logging on as a Guest and then suggesting something you know you prosper at is not very sporting ............keep up the good work

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 08:15 AM

In the wurds of our old school motto 'It wisnae me'. Someone quoting the words of 9 inch perhaps located in the Chesterfield area.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:14 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:10 AM

And what about his hand followed by a Newcastle Brown bottle stuck up the rear of that poor long suffering bear? At least my duck is a free range beer swimmer!
Quack!
Geoff the Duck.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:11 AM

..ah they don't like it up em !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:50 AM

Free range duck ? ............ only 3 square inches of alcohol to paddle (and piddle)in and the sight of you gob leering over it every few minutes, it's a wonder the poor thing hasn't expired with shock

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:16 PM

This is all getting a bit anal and has strayed far from the original motion of censure. Namely that McFat was caught playing a banjo.

Probably cos it's got no back so it can sit further down on his corpulent being and hence is easier to reach than the hard-backed box used by all self respecting folk people.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:15 AM

No I can assure you this one didnt sit any better - I think it was trying to escape!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 04:18 AM

What the....

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 05:55 AM

Just tell his mum not to let him out again !

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:38 AM

I dont have a hot line to heaven

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:44 AM

OK - his gardian then - could you really describe McFat as a responsible adult ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:05 PM

Isn't it about time for another chorus?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 02:02 AM

well apparently MCFAT was irresponsible on Wednesday night be found by his work colleagues drunk and disorderly on a tram eating chicken and chips - eating is strictly forbidden on Sheffield trams

go for it Geoff I dont think I have time to put that into a chorus this morning

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 02:12 AM

There was MCFAT on a tram he was sat
Eating up chicken and chips -o
And he was as drunk as the proverbial skunk
When spotted by others from work -o

geoff I need help I'm loosing my rhyme! or is that mind

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:22 AM

I wasn't disorderly I was just wasted !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:43 AM

....or perhaps inebre..ineeb..inib...pissed !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:24 AM

Rabbit - Make sure that he's sent straight to bed without supper.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:44 AM

Rabbit ........ if I've been a naughty boy do I have to go to your room

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:59 AM

When she's finished "Breaking me in".

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:49 AM

You've got to win a duel first

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:24 PM

I thought it Kampervan who was needing breaking in

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 03:29 PM

Sounds like my second has aspirations to move up a place.
Seems like R&WR just has the power to pull anyone.

I can understand her interest in Dave B and myself, but how the hell did she get hooked up with that bag of beer who sings songs that you wish you had never heard?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 07:51 AM

Now if you really want to see a bag of beer you should have been at Matlock when somebody asked Andy the barman for a pint of crisps and a packet of beer. To which Andy poared a packet of crisps into a pint pot and filled the empty packet up with beer !!! To his credit the chap din't flinch as he walked away with the packet of beer and promptly drunk it.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:53 PM

wots this. Serious comment? If this carries on I'll be telling the world how much I like you.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 May 04 - 01:51 AM

I just thouht the world needed to know that the banjo affliction has got decidedly worse

In order to cover up his passion for the instrument he has bid for a tenor guitar which has four strings and is played like a - yes you guessed it - Banjo

MCFAT you're not fooling anyone a guitar that looks like a guitar but sounds and is played like a banjo is called a banjo!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:02 AM

The bid has been succesfull and I shall unleash the new instrument soon on the unprepared folk audience

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 May 04 - 08:04 AM

Is this a real guitar or merely a hologram. Mind you this thing seems to be catching on - Leadfingers is playing a mandola body with a banjo neck these days - but then I suppose that's an improvement on his proper banjo.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 May 04 - 10:36 AM

I love Andy Irvine's secret weapon, the guitar-shaped bouzouki. Fantastic sounding instrument.

I'll shut up now.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: JennyO
Date: 06 May 04 - 11:54 PM

James Fagan plays one of those guitar-shaped bouzoukis too. Very nice!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 May 04 - 03:48 PM

MCFAT is still waiting for said banjo - sorry guitar to arrive Holmfirth was saved the debut!!

( see MCFAT I didnt say anything that might embarrass you - not even that you spent half an hour in Music Roome trying out the five string banjos!!)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST
Date: 11 May 04 - 10:51 AM

Said tenor guitar arrived today and sounds a bit like a banjo but...it's a guitar jim but not as we know it. At least the banjo I picked up and tried to play was a Vega and retailed at £2,000

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 May 04 - 02:32 PM

you even admit it!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 May 04 - 04:37 AM

I cannot tell a lie !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 12 May 04 - 02:23 PM

lion!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 13 May 04 - 04:16 AM

Will need to buy a tenor banjo chord book today for they is same chords for my new toy

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 14 May 04 - 06:27 AM

An excellent book for chords - various stringed instruments, not just tenor banjo - is one I mentioned in this thread BLICKY.
It is a very useful reference as it has all the information within one cover, and wasn't overly expensive.
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 14 May 04 - 06:35 AM

Referring to your Tenor Guitar thread.....

He played on his guitar
and broke all the strings
The people who heard him said
"he should have wings"
And people in Milnsbridge -
they know about such things....
So that's why they strung up McDonald.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 May 04 - 08:37 AM

he's dedided to drop the tuning Geoff - but then I guess his tuning a guitar always was questionable - he claimed to use those drop tunings just because he had problems with normal ones!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 15 May 04 - 06:48 PM

Just as long as he doesn't go for the Long Drop...
Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 22 Jul 04 - 06:57 AM

Anohter verse...

He tried to escape on his three legged horse.
He'd found it that morning, outside the racecourse.
But the deaf, half-blind nag only understood morse...
So there was no retreat for McDonald.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,rd and white rabbit
Date: 22 Jul 04 - 03:13 PM

He feigned he was dying from a terrible flu
From a cough a sore throat and bad sneezing too
No work just the pub, what else was there to do
Soon we'll mourn the passing of Mcdonald