BS: Is Golf Rubbish?

Subject: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:19 AM

I reckon golf is rubbish, must be the most stupid sport there is, its not even a proper sport, its just rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:31 AM

Is this something else you condemn out of hand having never tried it jfH?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:32 AM

A good walk spoiled - (I tried it once)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:36 AM

The only other sleep-inducing television besides cricket; better than counting sheep-----

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: el ted
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:45 AM

Yes it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:47 AM

Glad you all agree!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:49 AM

anyway=instead of hitting the balls with them sticks, why don't they throw them, be a lot easier for them sureley?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:59 AM

I wouldn't know a golf cue from a football raquet...

It's all balls to me!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rasener
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:09 AM

The problem with golf, is that it is very difficult to learn and requires a lot of practice and concentration to play it well.
It took me a year to get an official handicap.
Haven't played it for a couple of years now, so my handicap will have gone out the window.
It also takes up a lot of time and is very expensive to play especially if you keep on losing your balls.
Having said that, I think it is a great game to play, but can't watch it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:25 AM

Well if Douglas Bader could play without legs I'm sure your handicap won't stop you.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: ced2
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:02 AM

I find watching paint drying an infinitely more interesting passtime!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,JOHN FROM ELSIE`S BAND
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:05 AM

To joHn From Hlul,
                   The Most Royal and Ancient game of golf is certainly not rubbish, either to play or to watch the expert practitioners. You could descibe my game as rubbish on occasions: much to the amusement of the band I once lost two clubs whilst playing at St.Enedoc, Rock on one wet and wild day. I find that my music and golf are good companions as was the case for Frank Crummitt. (Have I spelt that correctly?)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:07 AM

Only sport/game I know where you can compete on equal terms from as young as you can be taught to play it right up until the day you drop.

Very few amateur cricketers; footballers; rugby players; tennis players, will ever get to play their respective sports at, Lord's; Wembley; Twickenham; Wimbledon. An amateur golfer can play all the courses that host the major championships with one exception, Augusta.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 07:56 AM

If he can afford the green fees.
Golf is not a sport, it is an elitist pastime for snobs who have no dress sense.
It's shite.
IMNSHO.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:18 AM

Compared to what it costs for a day out to watch a premiership football game, a days golf works out fairly cheap.

Most popular sports cost the individual playing it around £1000 for equipment plus the membership of any club they belong to. Any more than that and it becomes too expensive to become popular.

Golf in Scotland is considered to be an artesans game, golf in England is considered to be a "professional" mans game (Doctor's, solicitors, etc), no idea how that came about, probably dates back to the fact that James Ist and VIth played it so the English regarded it as a "royal" game.

"Golf is not a sport, it is an elitist pastime for snobs who have no dress sense."

Too many people play it world-wide for it not to be considered a sport. The latter part of that quoted sentence Strollin', identifies you as being a perfectly balanced individual - a chip on each shoulder.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:41 AM

I LOVE it! It's great! I don't play it, mind you (except a couple of times years back). But it's wonderful.

You see, I live a few yards down from the second tee -- the second fairway is an extension of my back yard. This means I unobstructed views of some lovely mountains, a place to cross-country ski in the winter, and entertainment all year 'round.

We can sit on the deck or the patio, sipping cool drinks, our feet up, and watch men and women (and some children, but they're a different story) play pasture pool. Laughed myself silly last weekend at a guy who took at least six swipes at a ball and missed it every time -- he finally picked it up and took off in his golf cart.

Now, the kids are different. They're out with their folks and have not yet lost the truth: it's a game and you should have fun with it. So they do, and they're a joy to watch.

Lots of neighbors walk their dogs on the golf course in the evening after it closes. "Play the ball where it lies" applies here, too, I suppose....

And it's a source of gifts. So far, I've collected five free golf balls from my back yard. NEW golfballs. EXPENSIVE golfballs, or so I'm told. Since I don't play I gave them away as a birthday present to someone who does. Saved me ten bucks, easy.

No one will let me do MY golf thing, though. Even my wife won't let me shoot golf. I figured that living "on" a golf course, I could shoot golf, but no. You can't even get those uncooperative golfers to whack the ball when you yell "PULL!" Of course, if you shoot it you have to eat it, and them golfs have a really hard skin, there's hard TO skin, they're all stringy inside, and if you ever do get them cooked tender they taste like rubber.

Yeah, golf's generally okay.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Risky Business
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:00 AM

If you described golf to a young innocent child, I think the child would immediately fail to comprehend why grown people go to such an effort to place a small ball into a small hole a certain number of times, write down the results, then argue, contend, market and propound on the results. At this point it would be wise to stop because the child would never believe there are whole libraries, careers, foundations, landscapes devoted to the subject.

Some children grow up more credulous than others. Some learn that people of puissance put, that swingers swing, that if you're good at it, you can go on TV and sell Buicks. So these children bend, they acquire an interest, some fall into the devotional dovecote and make it their passion.

Others will never see its beauty, never know its thrall. Some of these will remain uninterested, and others will learn to feign for fortune that they, too, understand and believe, hiding a pathology of uninterest.

In short, golf is precisely like religion.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:07 AM

Hallelujah!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,El Bosque del tigre
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:27 AM

The thing about golf is that it's very hard to play if you're piss drunk. So I suppose, that for someone who is always piss drunk, golf would be rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:36 AM

Golf is a sport - and many people view ALL sport as being rubbish.
What is the point of golf or any other sport ?.
It's an inate thing especially in the male of the species to physically or mentally challenge another Male(s) either singularly or in teams.
I would much prefer men to be engaging in this ( some see as pointless ) activity or pursuit rather than , punching each other , fighting in armies and killing each other etc.
The game itself doesn't demand that you have to be a 6 Foot hulk or physically powerful person , persons of all statures can compete equally ,because the game demands a high degree of technique in order to hit the ball great distances - strength and muscle count for little or nothing in this game.
Many golf courses have added to the well-being of the countryside and provide local people with jobs.
Golfers aren't killing anyone, they're generally social well mannered and adjusted - they spend their money playing their daft game.
We're back to social bullying again, and minding other peoples business - I say let them get on with it, so, back to the question...
No, Golf is not rubbish, if it had have been, it wouldn't have survived for so many years and largely unchanged ,(like some of our traditional songs ).
Some sports are rubbish - but golf isn't one of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:37 AM

I `ad that Nick Faldo in my cab the other day all done up like a pox doctor`s clerk in `is golf clothes. `e `ad a great big smile on `is face and `e said, I just got two birdies. I said that`s two under par then ennit? `e said, nah, it`s two in the bag. then `e showed me a couple of dead pheasants!!
What am I like?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,earthling
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:43 AM

So I can't tempt you to a round or two, followed by a heady evening of line dancing then jOhn?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM

are golfers sexist ...you bet your life they are and elitest.
Golfers are fit? then why do they need someone to carry their clubs.
Why not make it more interesting and get them to RUN between the shots. And the fastest round in the fewest strokes wins ..now thats what I call a proper sport.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:57 AM

P.S. for the record I used to manage a Golf Course.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: el ted
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:14 AM

Women are rubbish at golf, and clog the course up for the men.They should only be allowed to play mid week.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,earthling
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM

Golf courses would be very peaceful though, were it not for the golfers.

Top quality grass to lounge about on, little undulating hills, occasional sandpits here and there, a decent bar at the end...... and they are probably home to a varied selection of feathered birds warbling away. Kind of like Telly Tubbyland for big people.

Down with golf, up with courses.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:15 PM

Gold is a fascinating subject...

Wait. That was a typo. Yes, gold is a fascinating subject, but it's not the subject of this thread.

Ahem! Golf is a fascinating subject. On the one hand, it's a totally ridiculous game if you look closely at what actually goes on, but on the other hand it's a great game for people who want to get obsessively perfectionist about something and master the discipline and intricacy needed to excell at it.

The anal retentive personality should really appreciate the merits of gold...ARRGHH!...I mean, golf!

It's hilarious to sit on a handy vantage point and watch such types grinding their teeth and tearing their hair out because they sliced or hooked or something like that. It's even funnier to watch their reaction when their ball lands in the sand trap again or better yet, in the water, or even better yet, when it vanishes into a bunch of scrub forest at the edge of the golf course. When you consider that all this is totally arbitrary, completely meaningless to anyone except the player, and will make no difference to the evolution of man or animal, it gets even funnier.

But it IS meaningful to the player, and people desire to have meaning in their lives. If they cannot find meaning in things that do matter, then they will find meaning in things that don't...like golf or football!

Only children play golf in a wise and enlightened manner. They have fun whacking the ball around. They don't care how many strokes it takes to reach the objective. When the ball lands in the woods or the sand trap it only adds to the adventure. This is brilliant, and is the way everyone might better play the game if they want to have a really good time.

However, I can see value to the adult approach too, come to think of it, because....it teaches discipline, accuracy, patience, concentration, focus, and all kinds of other good things like that. It could even teach serenity.

Given that, I believe there IS an enlightened way to play golf (and even football), if you do it to improve yourself and for the sheer love of the activity itself...rather than merely to "win".

FORE!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:21 PM

I enjoy golf, it does take a while to get any good at it. but then less than 10% of golfers ever break a 100, so I hear.
I do enjoy the camaraderie of playing with my buddies, but I dislike how its become a huge business and is geared to make you spend money, on green fees, balls, all sorts of accessories.
It is good exercise as you spend 4-5 hours walking in the fresh air,
unless you ride around in a cart - which defeats the purpose.
On the downside golf courses use massive amount of chemicals, & water
to keep that fake natural look, even in areas where courses are surrounded by desert.
Id rather go hiking, its free, and just as good or better for exercise. (and less frustrating)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:22 PM

Straight down the middle - from a well-balanced Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:00 PM

What about crazy golf then?
Did anyone hear the news item this morning about the German Shepherd dog who had eaten a gut full of golf balls? I'll try to find a link.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Sooz
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:03 PM

click here

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:24 PM

I understand that there used to be a Newfoundland dog a few houses down from mine that retrieved golf balls. Even from the greens. You can imagine funny it was to everyone except the golfers.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:37 PM

Golf...

I've never see a single golf course (o.k... one that didn't have a windmill and a waterfall to play through) that didn't look like a total waste of space to me... An arrogent, elietist past time... Which, like smoking fat ugly cigars, is now bing taken up by the middle class so they can pretend they are upper crust...

As said, more or less, in the movie "Falling Down" "Look at all this space, there should be families having picknicks here... children playing here... instead there just you two idiots in those stupid hats..."

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Once Famous
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM

Golf does suck.

And many people who play it smell bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: DougR
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:22 PM

To each his own. I love to play golf. I wish I was better at it though.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:38 PM

You'll never get to be invited to the Empire Club and get to hobnob with VIPs like Brian Mulroney and Mike Harris with a rebellious, commie-troublemaker attitude like that, Clinton! :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: ducksy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:11 PM

The golf course was the first place i encountered a bit of honesty ,respect,and decency.I was a snooker champion at seventeen,a fairly good boxer ,played soccer at a good standard,drank and bullshitted for twenty years,sang in front of thousands of people,recorded a few albums but ,nothing beats the thrill of hitting a good drive down the fairway or sticking a six iron ten feet from the flag and sinking the putt.WHAT A GAME.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:27 PM

Do you promise LH?????

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: bflat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:33 PM

No, it is not! It is recreation that happens to be for the most part dignified. People, who play the game, tend to be cordial and polite unlike those in many other sporting activities. A round with a good chum is splendid. It is also quite difficult to execute well and there is a great deal of strategy. The only thing I dislike is that it requires so much time to play.

Ellen

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strick
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 12:09 AM

Why is golf like a strip club? Because both cost lots of money and send men away frustrated.

On the other hand, if you like it why not play? Me? I'd rather mow the lawn than play golf on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:29 AM

Surely for an activity to be described as 'sport' there is a prerequisite of a reasonable degree of athleticism required of its participants? Take a look at any golf course and observe the legions of fat old men like me ambling and shuffling their way around the course, or even driving round in little electric buggies (what sort of exercise is that?). It's not sport, its in the same class as darts and snooker (for you guys in the US, snooker is pool for people with more than one brain-cell) - it's a pastime for people who either can't play proper sports, or who see it as a means of ascending the social ladder.

Teribus - no chips on either shoulder, I have ample opportunity to play (there's a very good course where I live, owned and designed by Solheims who have their Ping golf-club factory half a mile from my house), and certainly more-than-ample financial means. I just have things to occupy me which are more interesting and infinitely more exciting! And I refuse to wear those horrible pullovers and silly shoes.

:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:30 AM

VW make very good cars, so I have to say NO their Golf is OK. (European reference)

Though I do like the parody "A good drive spoiled"

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:33 AM

I read of a match years ago in which the players crossed golf, polo, and field hockey.

Something about running up to the ball, screaming, and whacking it with the club as you ran by wasn't appreciated by the other people on the course, so your men were thrown off.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:52 AM

Golf is elitist and ergo ' rubbish ' it's a bit like tennis and skiing, you don't get a lot of kids from council estates doing it.
Opera and ballet are just as bad, workinf class people just can't afford it.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Risky Business
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 11:35 AM

Song Link (ha-ha): Dan Bern's "Tiger Woods"

Betsy, you raised a good point back there which went unaddressed, that most sports might be rubbish. My answer is that most sports bear a resemblance to sublimated warfare, y'know, with teams on each side. U.S. football, european football, lacrosse, hockey, basketball. Even bowling is a test of marksmanship.

What the heck is golf? Having read a vast amount of golfing history (nothing) I conclude that golf comes from Scotland. I know that land used to be important in Scotland. Maybe golf was a method of controlling land "I'm going to hit this very small ball with this very long and hard club with a knob on the end. Wherever it comes down is 'also' mine. Oh, I missed, well, My sergeant at arms Mulligan says I get another go." Maybe it was a not so subtle way of one-upsmanship, seeing who had longer sticks or bigger clubs, much as the robots of "Tripping the Rift" strap their members to their waists (Another song tie-in: King Missile: "Detachable Penis"). This might be a big issue in a country where the guys wear skirts. (More songs here).

I have another theory involving aliens....


This morning on the Yankee public radio Deepak Chopra was putting against Scott (SCOT!) Simon and stressing on the inner peace of golf.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 01:38 PM

Sooz: "Did anyone hear the news item this morning about the German Shepherd dog who had eaten a gut full of golf balls? I'll try to find a link."

Good pun.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 03:36 PM

God, a Golf War thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:33 PM

I'm not so much in favor of what golf does in terms of consuming resources like water and land, but JtS likes to play golf, and I like that he likes to play golf, so I guess it sort of balances out there. We have a practice net out behind our trailer here in the mobile home park in the wilds of Alabamy. It's an interesting cultural juxtaposition seeing JtS out behind the trailer, hitting a few golf balls into the net.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Scoville
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:50 PM

I always thought golf courses looked like great wastes of good dog-walking or horseback-riding space. The town where I went to college had a small "country club" with a golf course but they were eternally fighting with the beaver and muskrats that lived in the water traps. I thought that was pretty funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:15 PM

I am a theoretical expert in golf. I don't play but I work with a lot of people who do.


Doug C

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Raptor
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 08:18 PM

Golf takes a terrible role on the environment with pestisides, fertillizers, and water waste not to mention habitat loss and severing green corridors! All so people with too much money can take a little ball, hit it with a stick as far away from them as they can, only to follow it to do it again
It's a screwed world!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM

Time for a golf joke, but I only know seven hundred and thirty-two, and they have all been posted on the 'cat in years past. Anyone got some new ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 08:49 PM

"instead of hitting the balls with them sticks, why don't they throw them, be a lot easier for them surely"

Well, that is more or less how the Irish sport of Road Bowling works. Except that it's played along the road, and the "ball" is a lot bigger and heavier than a golf ball, being a sort of cannon-ball.

I believe it's a bit more organised these days. It can be a bit hairy driving along and coming across a game, especially when the bowler is cutting a corner on thr road with the throw.

Then there's the version we've all played as kids, kicking a can or a stone along the road going home from school or whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM

Actually, I like golf courses. They're wonderful open spaces with lots of grass and trees and little ponds and stuff. Cities need more green space. E'en though I don't play, I like golf courses.

Now, I used to play. Last time I played, back in '78 or so, I shot a 72 and figured I'd never do better than that, so I quit. I mean, a 72? On the first hole? Actually, I caddied when I younger and I would carry solid leather golf bags containing every club from a driver to a mashie to a 1 iron to a niblick to four different kinds of sand wedges for 18 goddamn holes. For this, I was paid the noble sum of less than USD 5.00 -- and that includes the tip, if any.

I haven't heard of a caddy in years.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:02 AM

A friend of mine had played golf each week for about a year and asked me to have a round with him, which I did, mainly to humour him. However, I went round the course in two less strokes than he did and put it down to begunners luck.....He never asked me to go again and I would not go of my own volition.BUT..If you want to play golf,,that is your choice..Enjoy whatever makes you happy and hopefully a little fitter.
Oh and Les....Sorry to hear you have a handicap..Playing without balls must be difficult.
By the way..I have some golfing socks..Got a "hole in one"
Be Blessed

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 06:45 AM

Not just rubbish but expensive rubbish. The land is being wasted in the worst way, and the obscene use of water to keep it's greens green in Hawaii, to be used by the Japanese tourists who are the only ones who can even afford the fees, is beyond belief. This is one subject I get pretty livid about..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: 42
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 07:46 AM

Much of the property surrounding my father's farm was purchased several years ago and made into a private golf course.

His land is situated on the Niagara Escarpment near Georgian Bay and is protected (theoretically) from building. For example no new construction is allowed. How the hell did they think a golf course would be less damaging to the environment than a four bedroom backsplit? (even with a pool)

j

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:32 AM

Rapper: You shot a 72? How'd ya do on the back nine?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:44 AM

A man is ship wrecked alone on an island and only just manages to survive for ten years when one day while sitting on the beach a figure in a wet suit emerges from the water.
It approaches him and takes off the face mask revealing a beautiful woman in the very tight wet suit.

"When was the last time you had a shot of whisky" she asks in a husky voice.

"Ten years ago" he replies.

She reaches into her very tight fitting suit and pulls out a bottle of single malt and a glass and pours him a large measure.

"When was the last time you smoked a cigar" She asks sexily.

"Ten years ago" He replies.

Once again she reaches into her wetsuit and this time pulls out a fine hand rolled cuban cigar which she lights for him.

The man is is heaven puffing away at the cigar and sipping his whisky.
She sits down beside him and moves in close.
"When was the last time you played around" she asks teasingly.

"My God you dont have a set of clubs in there as well do you !"

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:49 AM

TRUE STORY

A man is on the tee par 5 on a golf course and swings at his ball he hits the shot of his life, the balls soars true and lands on the green rolling to within inches of the hole.
A young boy runs out from the bushes ,picks up the ball and waves to the man teasing him. The man driver in hand infuriated races after the boy. when he is half way down the fairway another boy comes out the bushes by the tee and takes his bag of clubs.

Now thats what I call how to treat Golfers.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:53 AM

Noddy ,
TRUE STORY - My Arse !!!!!!!! What's your second name - Mitty ?
You obviously haven't a clue about golf.
It's possible, but highly improbable, to reach a green from Tee on a Par 4 in one shot - but it is IMPOSSIBLE on a Par 5.
TRUE STORY ?? - dream on.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strick
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM

"The land is being wasted in the worst way, and the obscene use of water to keep it's greens green in Hawaii, to be used by the Japanese tourists who are the only ones who can even afford the fees, is beyond belief."

Have you seen the courses in Phoenix, Las Vegas and Palm Springs?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 11:04 AM

ok Betsy I exagerated a bit but it is true. He lost both clubs and ball.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 11:53 AM

No Strick, I haven't..what's your point?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 12:02 PM

I understand that the golf courses in what used to be Rhodesia were the most dangerous in the world. No, not wildlife -- land mines.

I learned last evening that the manager of the golf course behind my house doesn't like people to walk their dogs on the course, but if they do (and he can't stop it anyway) he insists on the use of pooper-scoopers. So much for "play it where it lies."

My neighbors, the ones across the street, have found mishit golf balls in their back yard. Now, that's a bad shot!

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM

Betsy for the record take a look at the Guinness Book of Records for the longest drive and eat your words.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strick
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 01:00 PM

"No Strick, I haven't..what's your point?"

Sorry, my point would probably be obvious if you had. Some day the water we've wasted keeping those huge areas green in the middle of the desert is going to come back to haunt us. Some people are equally concerned about the environmental impact of the massive water projects necessary to make those courses possible, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 01:04 PM

Hmmm...Strick, the same can be said about most cemeteries. How about if we combine them? The new cemeteries all have markers level with the ground. so that wouldn't be a problem. The only drawback I see is the ease of making a hole in one.

Actually, living next to a well-run cemetery is a Good Deal. The neighbors are quiet, for one thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Strick
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 01:38 PM

Sorry, I'm in favor of cremation. I've been in the way often enough when I was alive. Once I leave this Earth, I'd just as soon be really gone.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Mudlark
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:14 PM

I live in an area that gets an average of 7 inches of rain a year. We're in a drought cycle now, getting only half that. Yet there are 2 golf courses within 10 miles of my place, and 3 more planned (plus a water park!) and no matter what I think of the game of golf, it's impossible to condone those acres and acres of obscenely green, green grass in the desert-like landscape on a 110 degree summer day.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:28 PM

I'm a crap golfer and my game is rubbish but I still enjoy it.

My wife plays much better and she trades her games of golf for my wanting to go to sessions. So I think it is a wonderfull game. I am a golf widower she is a session widow.

Do you play darts jOhn cos I think that is rubbish, bloody fat men throwing things at boards and swilling pints and they call it a sport.....;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Benjamin
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:01 AM

I was playing golf this weekend with some friends of mine. We all teed off on the 7th hole, when a girl driving a cart with a cooler on the back, selling drinks, drove up to us, to maybe sell us drinks if we were thirsty. My friends start making some stupid remarks to here like "you got a license for that thing, I think you need a license." I walked up to her as they were saying these things and said, "Can you give me a ride to my ball?" She said something to the effect of "sure, hop in." So I got in the cart with her and ditched my friends, who caught up to me in about a minute.
Anyways, golf isn't simply an elietist way to pass time. I play on a cheap set of clubs and have no offical golf clothing (except for some shirts which I've owned for a while now and will wear on any given day). I enjoy playing, and many of my friends enjoy playing. As a result, we get a chance to do something together and have that much more time to talk. Just because you don't enjoy something doesn't mean you should put it down (or the people who enjoy it) to your level.
Benjamin

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:29 AM

Strick, thanks. Now I understand. Yes, I rather expected that to be the case, and even more abhorrent in places that are already diverting such excessive energy to light up cities like Los Vegas (My SECOND biggest complaint). The short-sightedness of the whole thing continues to convince me that we rarily deserve the gifts this world has to offer if our response is to squander it..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 05:52 AM

I feel I would look silly in those clothes.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 07:27 AM

It,s not as stupid as people from Hull

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 08:28 AM

I don't care for golf at all and I am certainly aware of the kind of environmental damage they do. However, I like even less that fake working class crap about it being a game for snobs and the upwardly mobile middle class. When are some of you going to grow up. That kind of sweeping pettyness scare me more than golf does.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 06:08 AM

Old golfers never die, they just lose their balls.....

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:52 AM

Un-identified guests never die, they just smell that way.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Betsy
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 02:03 PM

Hi, Shanghaiceltic
I knew a woman who didn't like her husband washing his balls why he was watching TV - and he was a darts player.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: dwditty
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 08:42 PM

Golf id Flog spelled backwards.   'nuff said.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 03 May 04 - 05:54 AM

Risky Business - 24 Apr 04 - 11:35 AM

"What the heck is golf? Having read a vast amount of golfing history (nothing) I conclude that golf comes from Scotland. I know that land used to be important in Scotland. Maybe golf was a method of controlling land "I'm going to hit this very small ball with this very long and hard club with a knob on the end. Wherever it comes down is 'also' mine."

Maybe you should have read up a bit on it Risky, as should some of the others complaining about the waste of land, water, etc, relating to golf courses.

I believe that in it's original form golf was a winter game played, on ice, in the Netherlands. It was brought back to Scotland by the Calvinists/Scottish merchants/whoever, and adapted to a land based game. Well, Risky, you are right about land being important in Scotland, that is why the term "links" comes to be applied to a certain type of golf course. "Links Land" was regarded back in 15th century Scotland as being literally "useless" and it was just that type of land that was used to play golf on. The game increased in popularity and people inland also wanted to play, they didn't have sand dunes, sparsely covered with grass, so they opted to use "useless" exposed heathland. That takes us on to the clothes, Blackheath Golf Club (One of the oldest in England, if not the oldest) was such a heathland course and other people, non-golfers used to use wander about over it, so the rules of the newly formed golf club stated that those playing golf had to wear red jackets so that other members of the public could easily identify them and be aware that a ball might be headed their way. Been a long time, but I still believe when members paly Blackheath they are still required to wear red pullovers/polo shirts.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 May 04 - 06:07 AM

Never knew that. Blackheath is also very high, open and exposed; so a heavy jumper would have been essential. Can't see where they could still play on the heath nowadays though?

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Teribus
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:00 AM

I think at some time in the Club's history they moved location.

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 May 04 - 02:59 PM

Golf:   a game in which one places a ball approximately one-and-a-quarter inches in diameter on another ball approximately eight-thousand miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball without hitting the large one.

Just thought I'd clarify things a bit. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 04 - 03:32 PM

If there were no golf, what would the textile mills do with all those hideous fabrics?

By the way, I firmly believe that one reason golf is so popular among business types is because a game of golf with business associates is often seen as an appropriate substitute for actually working. In the business where I used to work it was not uncommon for the boss to take the afternoon off to play golf with a sales rep or similar type. It is much more acceptable to say "I'm taking the rest of the day off to play golf with the vice president of the bank" than it is to say "I'm taking the rest of the day off to go hang out in a topless bar, drink beer and stick dollar bills in ladies' garter belts."

Subject: RE: BS: Is Golf Rubbish?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:40 PM

All those dissatisfied ones have never gotten a hole -in -one. Like me - a year ago this month. I love golf.

Seamus