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BS: it's about as much use as.......
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: HuwG Date: 10 Dec 04 - 04:55 PM Common insults in the UK Armed forces: "As much use as a rubber crutch" "As much use as a concrete cushion" One of mine: "Useful as a haemorrhoid transplant" I believe that Georgiansilver said, "... a computer without a keyboard". Quite apt. Try booting a PC without a keyboard, and it will often say, "Keyboard error. No keyboard detected. Press F1 [or any key] to resume" |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: michaelr Date: 10 Dec 04 - 03:26 PM ...varicose veins on a peg leg. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Date: 09 Dec 04 - 03:19 PM Drat. Try Again |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:13 PM Chief Chaos, you surprise me. I thought you paid more attention to accuracy than that. "The Award is the Vice President's answer to yesterday's government and its $400 hammer. Fittingly, the award consists of a $6.00 hammer, a ribbon, and a note from Vice President Gore, all in an aluminum frame. More than 1,200 Hammer Awards have been presented to teams comprised of federal employees, state and local employees, and citizens who are working to build a better government. " |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Rob Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:07 AM ... an ashtray on a motorbike. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: wysiwyg Date: 20 Nov 04 - 10:39 PM it's about as much use as....... / Popular Views of the Bush Administration ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Strollin' Johnny Date: 20 Nov 04 - 05:42 PM ....a candy-floss door-knocker ....a chocolate teapot ....a w**k in a brothel others of a similar ilk:- It's like trying to knit fog ...........trying to plait shit |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cluin Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:04 AM ...a drunken wing man. And thereby hangs a sordid tale |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: mack/misophist Date: 19 Nov 04 - 08:23 PM a few I've heard used are: feathers on a catfish a boar hog in sunday school trying to herd cats/snakes |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 19 Nov 04 - 03:32 PM 1 square of toilet paper? |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: The Beast of Farlington Date: 19 Nov 04 - 11:57 AM ...something that is no use whatsoever |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee Date: 18 Nov 04 - 10:10 PM Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Couldn't organise a Ladies' night out in a chocolate factory. (That one courtesy of my other half!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Tony Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:29 PM Hip pocket in a singlet is a common one in Australia as is Tits on a Bull. Slight thread creep in honour of one of my work colleagues: Couldn't organise ... a piss-up in a brewery, .. a f*ck in a brothel |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: George Papavgeris Date: 17 Nov 04 - 01:47 PM Viagra for a eunuch? A Dutch cap for Sunday church? |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Chris Green Date: 17 Nov 04 - 01:16 PM The "s" in "lisp." |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: wysiwyg Date: 17 Nov 04 - 01:15 PM Tits on a boar hog. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 17 Nov 04 - 12:26 PM Yorkshire Yankee - your post reminds me of what I considered about the greatest waste of taxpayer money. Former VP Al Gore had an award called the Hammer Award given out to those individuals and agencies who made an impact on easing the public burden through tax savings, efficiency upgrades etc. The award was a standard store bought hammer (which they probably payed $200.00 for) mounted slanted against a blue velvet mat in a gold frame (which I would estimate to have cost approx. $70.00 apiece) What good is it giving me a hammer that I can't use? |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee Date: 16 Nov 04 - 05:55 PM ...glass hammer (a popular British saying) ... Microsoft tech support And here's a Yorkshire favourite:"Daft as a brush wi'out handle." |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 16 Nov 04 - 05:18 PM a bottle of crisps a pocket in a shift ( this last one from my late granny who would have worn such an old fashioned undergarment...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: George Papavgeris Date: 16 Nov 04 - 12:39 PM "Flies" for a spacesuit. Damp firecracker on 4th July. A side of bacon at a Bar Mitsvah Warm clothes in Hell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:51 AM A bishop in a brothel A priest doing marriage counseling |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Don Firth Date: 15 Nov 04 - 08:45 PM dianavan, even worse than a pen with no ink is ink with no pen around it! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Frug Date: 15 Nov 04 - 08:35 AM Pork Pie at a Barmitzvah ?? Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 15 Nov 04 - 08:16 AM ...Stevie Wonder with a pair of binoculars. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 15 Nov 04 - 08:13 AM ...Hellen Keller with a microphone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: C-flat Date: 15 Nov 04 - 07:38 AM ....a rubber ladder. ....an elastic toilet chain. Both of these gems were directed at me by my school rugby coach. C-flat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Date: 15 Nov 04 - 04:26 AM A guitar with no strings! A G-string on a wash board! A drumstick without a drum! A one armed window cleaner! A pig with wings! A computer without a keyboard! A dog with a keyboard! (Don't ask where the inspiration came from for the last two) Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee Date: 15 Nov 04 - 12:43 AM ...leaves on a railroad track. ...good taste in a Turner prize winner. As welcome as... your lover's ice cold feet in a toasty warm bed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Date: 14 Nov 04 - 04:22 AM Or hair under Julia Roberts armpits?? Not sure why that caused such a storm in the press...I like hair... women with hair...why not? Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Hrothgar Date: 14 Nov 04 - 04:16 AM ...a hatful of spare armpits... |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: dianavan Date: 14 Nov 04 - 02:40 AM hit the button by mistake now I have to think of something... ...... I'm baffled. a pen without ink? d |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: dianavan Date: 14 Nov 04 - 02:38 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cluin Date: 13 Nov 04 - 12:24 AM "...tits on a nun" we always said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Bert Date: 12 Nov 04 - 11:11 PM A lady with a Navvy's pick. (I said PICK) |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 12 Nov 04 - 11:05 PM ... as a loose prick in a brothel... |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: kendall Date: 12 Nov 04 - 11:00 PM A pig skin Koran |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Diogenes Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:40 PM Georgiansilver, if I wanted attention, I wouldn't live in a tub in the middle of the desert. But on second thought, I guess Martin Gibson is not completely useless. Anyone who can fart the entire Bach "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" is really quite accomplished. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:06 PM True enough, quite a lot of these "useless" things can be quite useful. For example, if you have a load of fish to carry about, a bicycle can be quite a handy thing to use. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cruiser Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:03 PM "Worthless as teats on a boar hog" A gilt that is the daughter of a boar possessing few, misplaced, or malformed teats is genetically predisposed to the same undesirable characteristic. Hog breeders will keep gilts with at least 12 well-placed teats and will not keep others as brood sows for farrowing. So, teats on a boar and the sow are important in brood stock. Cruiser Oh, to the question at hand: about as much use as a milk bucket under a bull's prepuce (unless that is all you have and need semen for artificial insemination, but I will leave THAT chore to other "handymen" and I'll handle the milking of the cows). |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 12 Nov 04 - 08:17 PM A pair of boots are for a snake. A parachute for a parrot. A hairbrush for a hedgehog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: frogprince Date: 12 Nov 04 - 07:23 PM LOL Georgian. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 12 Nov 04 - 07:21 PM Porch on a Submarine is one I've heard in use |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Date: 12 Nov 04 - 07:13 PM A 34b on Dolly Parton! |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: frogprince Date: 12 Nov 04 - 06:46 PM Forgive me if this is being too serious: Nuclear weaponry in a sane world. Clothes to go swimming in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: skipy Date: 12 Nov 04 - 06:39 PM Screen door on a submarine Skipy |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 12 Nov 04 - 08:51 AM 46 posts already and no one has said Screen door on a submarine |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Sooz (at work) Date: 12 Nov 04 - 08:32 AM .. an anonymous guest? |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Date: 12 Nov 04 - 06:24 AM As welcome as a fart in a space-suit As welcome as a pork-chop at a Bar Mitzvah |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Date: 12 Nov 04 - 12:41 AM There are exceptions, I grant you, MG. You, for instance. You gotta be normal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous Date: 11 Nov 04 - 09:34 PM Ebbie, you think about male teats all you want. I'll think about Pamela Anderson. then again, I have seen some fat guys who could use a bra. |
