Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04

Subject: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:35 PM

Well it is that time of the year again, when we revive this old acorn...
so let's get started.

Twas the Night before Mucat Christmas
and all through the place
not a creature was stiring, not the one on my face
The stockings were hung by the chimny with care
No, they're hung by Sinsull, she's the mudcatter with flare...


next verce...

'Twas the night before '03

'Twas the night before '00

links added as requested. JC - no, not THAT one - the Other one!

---

But the OTHER Joe doesn't see this as folklore, and moved this to the non-music side.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 06:09 AM

The puddings were soaking, in brandy or rum,
ready to blaze and then fill up the tum
of Mudcatters gathered, spoons at the ready,
to scoop up the puddings and custard so heady....

LTS (guess what I've been doing recently....)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 06:19 AM

I was doing the final wrapping of presents.
To the sound of xmas carols.
Drinking a glass of port,when I heard the mudcatters sleigh....

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 07:19 AM

I don't care you you say you are - get those reindeer off my roof!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: InOBU
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 08:22 AM

There was crunching of boots in the snow up above
As Spaw hoisted the bag from the sliegh just becuz
Ol Santa was soused on the pudding Liz made
So Catspaw took the riegns to help out I'm afraid...

but he fed all the riendeer with beens from his pot...
they'll be flying like jet planes... let's see what they've got!
and with a ripping fine blast they blew into the night
bearing gifts for the catters, lit up by blue light...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: MMario
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 08:36 AM

On Belcher, On Farter!
On Silent and Deadly!
On Hemerroid, Canker-sore,
Distress and Crudly!
Forget the d*mned rooftop
go straight through the walls!
Now Bash away, bash away, bash away all!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 08:53 AM

(That was brill, MM!!!)

A

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: MMario
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 09:17 AM

As sparks that from lit primer cord fly
or ash from volcanoes belch into the sky
So straight through the wall those ruminants flew
Hauling Catspaw and Santa's sleigh too!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 09:25 AM

There was plaster all over, and cracks in the paint
There were pictures knocked down, and Ma in a faint,
Rudolph's nose was bloodied, their coats a disgrace!
And Saint Nick had drywall tape hung from his face!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Flash Company
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 09:32 AM

They flew over Downing Street, high as can be,
And Tony Blair cried 'Its a WMD,
Send for George, send for Donald, send the Black Watch instead,
I'd send David Blunkett but he's prob'ly in bed!'

Merry Christmas!

FC

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: InOBU
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 09:55 AM

Ah we're off to a good start... HEY MAX (or other Mudelfs...)! Can ya link the ones from the last years? Cheers Lor

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: MMario
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 11:04 AM

As tracers and shells burst all 'round the sleigh
'Spaw tossed up his cookies, grabbed control of the sleigh
Don't Care if it's Christmas, or Solstice or Yule-
I ain't hangin' 'round here! My kids Dad ain't no fool!

all the Presents and toys spilled out in a shower
As 'Spaw turned the sleigh and increased the "bean power"
Then thrice round the world in seconds so few
went reindeer and sleigh - an that ol' mudcatter too.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Micca
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 01:53 PM

So Santa returned and reloaded the sleigh
For the Mudcat special run to be on his way
He opened his list, he is not one to shirk
But found its in Code, Its Secret Santas, You Berk!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: MMario
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 02:08 PM

I've seen "berk" used before - finally got around to looking it up. my,my,mymymy!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 02:10 PM

Fornicate my old footwear said Santa, that stinks
It could be Spaw's reindeer, or him in person methinks
Some goodies are made of polyurethane
And here I am with a sled powered by methane

Cor strike a light said old Mrs Claus
Please don't said our Santa, it's dodgy because
The balls that on the christmas tree hang
Could end up being mine when we all go off bang

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Emma B
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 04:15 PM

I'm asleep in my bed
With my sock on the shelf
Welcome Secret Santa
And here's to your 'elf

A bottle of Absinthe
Would suit me just fine
Or maybe some Calvadoa
Or a rare vintage wine

A real ale or two -
Or better a fella!
But, most of all Santa -
Teach me to play this ******* Stradella!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: InOBU
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 07:39 AM

Thanks JC - Larry

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: InOBU
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 08:07 AM

that is JC the mud elf who added the links...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christma
From: GUEST,Champagne Carole's SS in a rhyming mood
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 08:24 AM

Twas a bunch of nights before Mudcat Christmas and Champagne Carole's Secret Snata stopped by to drop some hints

He/She sprinkled a few here, a few there, some nonsense about something that is NOT SOAP! and went off to eat some mints.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 08:25 AM

Mario my man.....You are on a roll!!! I think it's a Kaiser roll but I'm laughing too hard to tell at the moment........maybe it's just a fat bagel..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Micca
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 05:40 PM

As Santa flew bye on his Mudcat powered sled
He noticed that some folks were not in their bed
But were out having fun and here was the rub
An old oak beamed building it seemed was the hub

In the pub was a sight that would make you quite limp
A round being bought by Chongo the chimp
But Little Hawk reached for his wallet and said
Stop spending my dosh or I'll kick in your head

Filled with noise and with smoke and much singing and Mirth
No one gave a toss for the sign "peace on Earth
But drinking and Carole-ing, Champagne drinking too
The Barman is guessing the size of her shoe

He thinks that a Magnum might just fill it up
But whoever drinks it will be drunk as a Pup
And Carole, game girl, says "I'll just have a glass
And those that don't like it can just kiss my ear"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 06:59 PM

When in walked a man with a scowl on his face,
A visige that silenced each mouth in the place.
"So what in the fuck-all are you lookin' at?"
He growled as his arse on the barstool he sat.
"Just gimmme a beer, ya overstuffed wench!
And don't gimme no crap 'cause I'm Martin the Grinch!"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 08:12 PM

Now Martin the Grinch had a problem you see
In fact he'd a couple, maybe even three
But of Martin's problems, the greatest of all
Was that his arsehole was ten sizes too small
He'd not had a good bowel movement in years
So the serving wench dropped three Ex-lax in his beers

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 08:46 PM

the suspense is killing me...I hope everything comes out all right in the end.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:44 AM

Waiting for the bottom line over here in Scotland too:~)
Giok

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 08:59 AM

Now when those three beers that old Grinch had consumed,
He made a mad dash for the nearest restroom.
And then from that bog came a hideous roar,
And an odor that stripped all the paint from the door.

And after ten minutes old Martin stepped out.
His face was no more a curmudgeonly pout,
For he'd, in that loo, learned a lesson, to wit:
"Life just ain't much fun when you're so full of shit!"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: DMcG
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:12 AM

But that loo, evermore
Was an odious place
The walls were revolting,
The floor a disgrace;
And the smell was foul
Any champion would flinch
Thanks to Martin, O Martin,
The Magnificent Grinch!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christmas 04
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 07:36 AM

I shall resist the temptation to enter the thread currently - no point in having your best efforts deleted... ;-)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Twas t' night before Mudcat Christma
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:00 PM

Twas the Night before Mudcat Christmas and a pirate-preferring Secret Santa was relieved of his/her despair.
For he/she had looked high, looked low, looked here and looked there.
Hoping for some hint form his/her Santee, hoping that they hadn't abandoned him/her, hoping that she really did care.

And then, to his/her relief, Cllr posted in her stead.
told her Secret Santa that Carole was stuck in her bed.
with a cold and a potentially badly congested head.

So Champagne Carole's Santa boxed up some Holiday Cheer.
Handed if off to a Christmas Pirate who was swigging some Beer.
And now as we speak, the box is to Champagne Carole drawing near.

Ho Ho Har-har-Arrr!
Champagne Carole's
Secret Pirate Santa