Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06

Subject: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:57 PM

Well: I've got this started most years for a while now. I am feeling a little low this year, and have no great start, so, it is up to the rest of you, I will try and chime in a bit latter...

Twas the night before Mudcat Christmas, and all through the net
Hardly a mudcat was stirring, well, at least not as yet...

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:00 PM

The Tavern was crusty with jello and sludge
The Binging and boozin' had hardly begun.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:20 PM

The threads were all strung on the Forum with care
With music threads high and BS threads down there.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Bert
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:23 PM

And Larry was blue which made us all sad
get down to the tavern there's booze to be had.

(If there's any credit left on my card)

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:24 PM

Though several members were feeling quite flat
'Cos each time they looked there was No One in Chat

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:29 PM

Bert's Platinum card shone bright as a Star
With friction from running the machine in the bar

His balance grew larger with every charge
Fear Not! for his credit line also enlarged!

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: freda underhill
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:33 PM

The catters were nestled all snug in their beds,

While riddles from Secret Santas bemused their wee heads..

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: fat B****rd
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:11 PM

While those who played bhodrans and banjos were mocked
Some traitors got out their Fenders and rocked

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: fat B****rd
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:28 PM

fB decided he'd had too much whiskey
and thought that last post a little bit risky

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:36 PM

The beer, wine and whisky were flowin' so free,
And catters all were overcome with such glee

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:41 PM

The snowmen were standing exposing themselves
And being deleted and censored by Elves!

LTS

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 07:37 PM

A crucified snowman lights up SINSULL's street
And a giant erection makes the display complete.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:52 PM

Creeping around in the corners at night
Were Max, Jeff, and Joe...all of them tight!

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:29 PM

The cookies were frosted with sparkling white icing
Laid out on a blue plate, they looked real enticing.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:15 PM

And while a good few were out making merry
They looked forward to having a good time in Portaferry

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:16 PM

I can't rhyme it but Sinsull is totally right about the giant snow man and the even more giant erection .... Tammy gets points for recognizing it first!!

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:22 AM

I giant erection? It shocks, hope it pleases
But go put a blindfold, on that headless Jesus [nearly]
Oh it's only a snowman, in thaw it will fall
It's sad, but it's better, than no man at all.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Scrump
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 05:29 AM

Blimey, McKenzie, I can't follow that!
(Hope he covered it up with dad's old bowler hat?)

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Fidjit
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 05:36 AM

Now you may think that he's a bit of a thicky
He's not you know, Splot Man made a, "Blue clicky"!

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Micca
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:03 AM

The snowman is standing like a giant from a story
like a Maine Patriot showing off his "Old Glory"
They could dress the erection in a Jimmy T thong
advertising Viagra since its lasted so long
and many more folks around about it were whinging
the thing is all drive shaft , no trace of an engine

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:29 AM

The engines are all on their nice reservation
Making buck in Casino's, they are the first nation
You can play on their bandits, you can injure your liver
But watch out for Chief Santa, he's an Indian giver.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:28 AM

The posts were all set standing upright with care
3 tits perched on each, gently cleaving the air.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:42 AM

Vintage "Night Befores" mingled with new ones quite freely,
While Max and the elves got stuck in the chimney, really?!

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Micca
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:49 AM

Ah, Linda there is nothing better on a bright December day then observing the cleavage between a fine pair of tits(Cyanistes caeruleus)

"and out on the roof theres a sound like the rain
the reindeer recycycling Budweiser again"

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:01 AM

And Santa appears with more coal from the cellar
An appropriate gift for some fine randy fella
One with a bit more heat than the snowman
The tittling ladies will never say "No man."

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: MMario
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:04 AM

Say santa, while you were down by the coal,
did you spot the Captain, down in that hole?

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:13 AM

Santa's beard it was full of crumbly cookies
Distracted by food he didn't quite lookie
For there in the cornor on ol' Kendall's lap
Was Jacqui curled up for a long winter's nap

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:14 AM

In the cellar again Cap'n, how can that be?
He said "That woman is making a fuel out of me".
I said "Do you think she's confused you with some nutty slack?" He
said "If you think this is nutty you've never met Jacqui!"

Giok

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:28 AM

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house
Was the smoke of the bulk-cooked meat loaf and roast grouse.
In 12 pounds and 6 they had come from the store,
Their red, germy juices to leak evermore.

The bags soon were trashed (with bacterial load)
And the roasting begun in the git-r-done mode.
The pork steaks snuck in and were too all a-sizzly,
For the stocking of freezer was going, by Wizzy.

On Hardi, on Wizzy, on choir for the season,
The busyness must ramp on up, for some reason!
On acolytes, on lectors, on church secretary,
By Christmas you'll be quite holy, though weary!

~S~

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:30 AM

Ah Giok I'd be careful of those Ladies from Maine
For in a short season you'll be vistin' again
Beware -- I hear SINSULL is needing a lackey
To deliver her gifts both wacky and tacky

As Rudolph and Frosty are both too distracted
You might have some words to be soon retracted
Ewetopia dear lamb has not yet been forgotten
She's been planning reunions with you and the cousins

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:53 AM

Ah Wizzy the padgent was perect-- Grandpa smiled long
And tradition was snubbed in favor of song
The angels they flitted-- never on cue
And the candles waved wildly like a concert I knew

But the old guard was mumbling it's just not the same
Changing tradition is not why I came
And I heard round the youth group from teens old and new
How dare you change things -we know better than you ..

Cradle Episcopalians of 15 plus years
Shaking their heads, tisk tisk Hrummphears
And I heard them exclaim as they walked through the door
Those youngsters have no respect for our traditinal lore.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:00 PM

Brava, Tinker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Susan
(maybe we'll recite it at the setting of the creche....)

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: MMario
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:06 PM

hee-hee-hee! Tinker - so true, so true!!!!!!

On the other hand _ I wish I could locate an intact copy of "The Nativity of Our Lord according to the Flock By Night" -- a very non-traditonal Christmas pageant including everything from reminiscences by the donkey that MAry rode, to "three wise owls" and a pig/spy from King Herod....

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

I knew you two would get it. I didn't realize the Cradle Episcopalian need to eshew change in favor of tradition started before leaving your teens. the congregation loved Light of the World. But the older kids....

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 05:04 PM

Listen my children it could have been worse
There were other choices that even I cursed
Deck the Stalls, (yes stalls) could have made your heads spin
But I doubt even Maine would have taken me in

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:15 AM

Oh that is truly appalling,


King Herod? You missed a couple!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:26 AM

First Ewetopia then that! What have I done to upset you Tink?
Giok.

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: eddie1
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:54 AM

Santa sat down and started to laugh, he
Had heard the Seminoles had bought Hard Rock Cafe.
Though his musical tastes run to quite eclectic
It's a home for those 'Catters who will play electric!

Eddie

Subject: RE: Twas the night before Mudcat Xmas 06
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:50 AM

Electric, he thought, now can this be right?
Perhaps I should give each a bodhran this night,
Or a great big accordion, loud, shiny and neat
All covered in mother of toilet seat....

Though are these traditional? Probably not,
But if they don't like them I don't give a jot.
What they can do, my generosity to repay
Is dispose of them quickly; list them on eBay.