BS: Crisp Songs please

Subject: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 09:12 AM

This morning I received a letter informing me that I have won an Apple i-pod mini. It was a free draw at a local supermarket, so I expect I actually must have wone for real. Makes a nice change to actually Get something.
Anyway - the promotion was at a branch of ASDA in conjunction with Walkers Crisps.
So - I will have about 4GB of music to put on it - Who can come up with the best suggestions for Crisp - related songs?

I realise that I am talking English as spoken in parts of the United Kingdom, so the U.S. contingent might feel left out. Never mind - I will open the definition to include potato chips and any other small bagged snacks - but excluding nuts.... (there are plenty of them already on the Mudcat!).

Take it away folks...
Quack!
Geoff the (Lucky) Duck.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 09:29 AM

...Once I had some Fritos, gee they were swell,
Ate them up while drinking cheap rum.
Now my guts are acting like hell,
My stomach is tight as a drum!

Say, don't you remember, you call me Percival
It was Percival all the time...
Say don't you remember, you thought I was dumb,
Buddy, can you spare a Tums?

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: MMario
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 09:38 AM

Snap, what a happy sound
Snap is the happiest sound I found
You may clap, rap, tap, slap, but
Snap makes the world go round

Snap, crackle, pop – Rice Krispies!

I say it's Crackle, the crispy sound
You gotta have Crackle or the clock's not wound
Geese cackle, feathers tickle, belts buckle, beets pickle, but
Crackle makes the world go round

Snap, crackle, pop – Rice Krispies!

I insist that Pop's the sound
The best is missed unless Pop's around
You can't stop hoppin' when the cereal's poppin'
Pop makes the world go round

Snap, crackle, pop – Rice Krispies!

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST,Rev Gloria Sarmpits
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 09:40 AM

twas the killer alien vampire
come for his Krispy Creams
his black eyes flashed in the morning
to the sound of Krispy screams
he said serve me my Krispys with human blood
tell the Red Cross, I want more
call Oscar the butcher from the slaughteryard
i'm hungry for donuts.. and more
I'll have liver and kidneys and pay by card
i want pink icing and a fresh dead bard
send me my whip for the donuts of course
my veins are surging and i'll take them by force
Krispy Creme donuts - they're just my cover
i'm after some catters, dripped in butter
give me Shambles, I'll take him, and chew him up fine
and I'll blend him with Amos, and some old red wine
Jeanie - you're ruuned - and Trevor - you're tripe
I'll roll in soft flesh and consume every bite
I want Krispy Cremes!fetch my studs and the leather
I thought that this boredom would go on forever!
sautee the kidneys! I need some energy food
Bring me the file, I want my teeth done
its me and the Krispies, and Jennyo for fun
and when its all over some peppermint tea
i have to look after my liver, you see...

+ Vlad the Inhaler

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 09:57 AM

Aw, mario,you beat me to it!!
KT

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: MMario
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 10:04 AM

Have you heard those heathen demented advertising people at Kellogg's are changing the jingle?

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Dead Horse
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 10:17 AM

Pringle bells, Pringle bells, Pringle all the way........

Fa....jitas a jolly good fellow.......

Nuts! Whole hazel nuts.
Cadburys make 'em and they cover them in
saturated fats, cocoa flavouring, emulsifier & lecithin......

or, if ya wanna be boring, The peanut song!

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Splott Man
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 10:23 AM

"...where the snow lay round about,
deep and crisp and even..."

or is that pizza?

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 10:35 AM

Crisp a song at Twilight
Superflavouredsourcreamcrispstheyreallyaredelicious.
Hark to Old Krisp Kringle
Murphy Sliced

G.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 11:26 AM

Well, if you just want titles...

Who tossed the tater chips in Mrs. Murphy's chowder?

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 11:32 AM

I like the American word, because "crisps" is hard to say! (How many mouth positions DOES it take to say a one-syllable word?)

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 11:35 AM

Golden Wonder once user the Lincolnshire Poacher as the tune and play on the words as an ad.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 11:43 AM

"because "crisps" is hard to say!"

Good observation, Bill D. My sister is a switchboard operator, and she asked my sis-in-law, a teacher of English as a Foreign Language, for hints in dealing with Asian callers who are not good at English yet.

The sis-in-law said that few other languages pile up consonants the way English does. An Asian speaker, confronted with a name like "Strong" for example, heads for the vowel and ends up asking for someone like "Song" or "Ong." This observation has helped my sister at the switchboard.

It's a good thing for everyone to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 12:03 PM

Sort of crispy oodles?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 12:15 PM

I was driving down the road last week,
When I saw some crisps in a bag.
I was driving my new truck you see,
And thought it would be a wag.
To pick them up and have a chat,
I'd heard that they are good talkers.
But when I offered them a lift,
They said "sorry no, were WALKERS"

Composed by Mike Hill,2/12/05

To the tune of the Lincolnshire Poacher

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 12:26 PM

There a bloke round here a while back who wrote a song called I like a packet of crisps for me lunch, snackle and snunch.......!

his genius wasn't widely appreciated, in fact I was having a wee one night in the raffle interval and the chap next to me said, if that bastard gets up and sings his packet of crisps song again, I'll kill him.....well he did sing it. and now I come to think of it, i haven't seen him for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 12:54 PM

Where the snow lay round about, deep and CRISP and even.
G. ☺

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:18 PM

Hmm GS. My fading memory of LP would go

When I was just a potato crisp in famous Lincolnshire.
I was stuck in the mud I really was for nearly 1/2 a year

...

At the end something like:

"She was a funny one my pickled onion but very good company".

GW, I guess though I think it was nuts had "Golden Wonder, Their Jungle Fresh" I think.

And I have some jingle iin the back of my mind from years ago - "Smiths are our favourite crisps".

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:19 PM

missed my name again sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Les from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:25 PM

Who can ever forget the 'prefab four's' wonderful song Cheese and Onions. Rutlemania anyone?

I have always thought
in the back of my mind
Cheese and onions
I have always thought
that the world was unkind
Cheese and onions
Do I have to spell it out?
C-H-E-E-S-E-A-N-D-O-N-I-O-N-S-oh-no

Man and machine
Keep yourself clean
or be a has-been
like a dinosaur
Got a device
For everthing nice
You better think twice
at least once more
(Neil Innes)

(There's an Eric Idle story on the 'All you need is cash' DVD of him, Neil, Ringo Starr and George Harrison round at George's talking about this song and discussing whether they should go out as a Rutles tribute band!)

And there's a verse in the Byker Hill I do in reggae style

When Gary Lineaker went to Spurs
They gave him the number nine shirt
Expensive cars he's getting two or three
He say "Walker's Crisps done well by me"

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:38 PM

'Wotsit' all about Alfie.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:47 PM

Sanp , Crackle Pop was also known in the UK, Mmario.

My favourite of the breackfast cereal (etc), ones though I can think at the moment though would be Shreaded Wheat - nice stuff but my father dislikes Ian Botham (a cricket player and a good all rounder) to the point of never wanting to eat it again.

Probably the closet I got that way was Curries always cutting prices (white goods) ads. Think I could have throttled (not really - I'm not like that) that woman.

Best on jingles I gan get to off hand I remember was the simple "For Mash Get Smash". It had martians with tin hats (so bad they were comical themselves) and commputer type "metalic voices" talking and laughing about our making of mash. Somethhing vaguely on the lines of

One you first visit to earth, did you discover what the earth people eat?
They eat a great many of these.
The peel them with thier metal knives, boil them for 20 of thier earth minutes then they smahs them up to bits   - clearly a most primitave people. At which point the tin martians are falling over laughing at our love of the humble spud.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:49 PM

I'm dreaming of a White Crispmas
Baby Cheeses was born at Crispmas
Good King Wensleydale got Crisped
G x

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: robomatic
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM

Crisp Is Risen

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 02:57 PM

No that was at yeaster.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 04:12 PM

*groan*

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 04:27 PM

Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut last night.
Last night I found a peanut, found a peanut last night...
(Please stop me.)

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 04:47 PM

He was doing the munch
The monster munch..

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 05:01 PM

Well!
I'm flabbergasted by the response so far. I expected a bunch of bad puns, but what have I got - people actualy writing songs on the hoof, serious discussion of old advert themes and, of course, a bunch of bad puns.
Let's see what else you can find?

Is this the way to Salt & Vinegar?
Ev'ry night I'll be licking my finger
Sweet dreams of Salt & Vinegar
And pints of be-er wait for me...

Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Les from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 06:29 PM

And I imagine that the tunes for all these songs will have plenty of Quavers in them.

Seeing as Walkers also do a crisp flavour which will be close to the heart of many Mudcatters blicky

I've been gagging to mention those.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 06:49 PM

Hula (hoop) Hula baby
Hula (hoop) Hula baby.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Les from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 07:03 PM

Any road up - I thought, as a Bradfordian, you had to sign a Pledge of Allegiance to Seabrooks! Them Walkers people are messing with your mind, man.

Oh, and...

On top of old Smoky Bacon...

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 07:40 PM

How many kinds of crisps do you see,
In an English country sweet shop.
I'll tell you now there's at least twenty three,
In an English country sweetshop.
Golden Wonder, Hula Hoops, Finger fries and chickie choops,
Smiths cheese and onion and salt and vinegar.
Also ready salted. (Fourboys make some malted),
In an English country sweetshop.....
Walkers....don't forget the Walkers, Walkers....don't forget the Walkers....don't forget the Walkerrrrrrrrrrs

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 02 Dec 05 - 08:18 PM

Les - I will always hold in my heart the aroma of Cheese and Onion frying day in the streets surrounding Seabrooks main factory at Allerton. Also the Nibb-Its at the other works off Ingleby Road. Now then - there must be a suitable rhyme for Nibb-Its...

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 04:42 AM

Nibb-its, Nibb-its, I eat nobbut but Nibb-its.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 04:55 AM

Let's twist and shake ...

from the days when Smiths crisps contained a little twist of blue paper with salt in, to sprinkle on the crisps - and sometimes lots of blue paper twists and just a few crisps.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Dead Horse
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 08:00 AM

Bring me the crisp packet, I'll fathom the bag?
Roast beef (flavour) of old England.
Pub With No Nuts.
Farmers Toast. (followed by Drunkards Roll)
Hob Nob-Y-Derri Dando.
and when smoking is banned in pubs - AshaTray Farewell.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 08:09 AM

How can you have missed the cahnce to suggest anything by the Walker Brothers?

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Les from Hull
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 08:36 AM

Like 'Make it greasy on yourself', Dave?

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:09 AM

A pack of Smith's courted me, 9 months or better

The first sub 4 minute snack, Crisp Chataway.

C'mon girls get your Snickers and Mars off!!

Packet of crisps assaulted, by a Mrs Lot.

I'm too sober....G.

Subject: RE: BS: Crisp Songs please
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:41 AM

And the B side was....
                      Doin' the (beef) Jerk(ey)