BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?

Subject: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: GUEST,Kitty
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 06:45 PM

This is a spin-off from another thread.

My case is pretty typical. I was a damn good wife for decades. In my case my man wanted money. So I worked really hard and built up a great business. I lived as though we were poor, because he wanted to save and save, to buy more land, to build, to make more money. And so on. Many women do something similar to bring uop the kids.

When I was tired of this way of life, I told him. I hung on for another good few years, then went.

As soon as I went he got a new girlfriend and spent all sorts of money on her. Big style ! Nobody could believe it becuase he had been so mean with me. Then another girlfriend, and more money.

So what's the deal ? Yeah, he is 40. Is that the reason ? I did what I thought made him happy and got little back in return. In fact, the new girlfriends are getting the profits of my work back in return. ( No, we didn't have a 50 / 50 settlement. Yes, call me a mug once again!)

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: wordfella
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 06:55 PM

Hey, Kitty--

You're obsessing again. Let it go.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 06:58 PM

You had a lawyer I hope?

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Beer
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 07:21 PM

Don't kiss me like were married, kiss me like were lovers. K.D. Oslin. Don't get it. It will make you cry.
Get a Lawyer. You have rights.
Beer

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 07:22 PM

" I was a damn good wife for decades."

Evidently not good enough eh

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 07:23 PM

His lose!!!

I do treat me wife like my girlfriend becuase she *is* my girlfriend...

Guess what? Mr. Wrong may seem to be real happy with his new life but he ain't... You say that his true nature is to be frugal and now that he's foot loose and fancy free he's having to do stuff that probably eats at him in order to keep the new girlfriend/s happy, right???

Guess what? People don't change much, they just get more so...

... so he ain't really happy but who cares???

I sho nuff don't... Hey, he's crated his own Hell...

Now, it's up to you to move on emotionally... Let an intermediate take care of the things that must be dealth with that involve you both... Even if it's kids...

Bobert (again)

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 07:44 PM

I just posted to the other thread... I think they should be combined.

So... you got tired of your life with him an "went". And now, he is spending $ on women. Well, I should think that the poor lad would. He is desparate not to lose the next one. After all, you left, after decades (ah, 40 years old minus decades = ah, wha???), because he was frugal while trying to build a comfortable and secure nest with you. I assume he is insecure and terribly hurt... bewildered about why you would leave him after you both sacrificed so much for so long for the nest.

You said "(No, we didn't have a 50 / 50 settlement. Yes, call me a mug once again!)" Ah... on the other thread you said you still have things to sort out so there has to be contact.

In the immortal words of Foghorn Leghorn, "Somethin' just don't add up."

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 11:57 PM

And none of us here, who haven't seen what actually went on, will ever know what adds up or doesn't add up. We don't know enough to put you (Kitty) down, or to support what you're saying. That's not a slam at you; it's just the nature of the situation, seeing a little bit of it in writting from just one of the parties.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 12:00 AM

But just so far as the thread title goes, any guy should have that much sense; which I guess is different words for what Bobert said.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 05:09 AM

I'd like to congratulate CH for his insightful, and sympathetic contribution to this thread. As with all his contributions to this site I can honestly say,"Wonderful just isn't the word to describe it"
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Divis Sweeney
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 06:56 AM

GUEST,Kitty The fact he has to spend so much money on these women to maintain relationships tells it's own story.

Think it's a case of him chasing his youth. Make sure you get out with pride and leave the bitterness behind you. Easy words for me to say to you, but it will eat you like a cancer if you dwell on it.

Get the rebuild of your new life underway and in a few years time you will have let go of this and be living within happiness. By that stage some woman will have cleaned him out and he can only reflect on what he had and lost.

Good luck with the future.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 08:45 AM

Rest assured, he will treat her just like he treated you.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 08:52 AM

Now, Giok, you know perfectly well CH is not a member of the Compassion Department here; he works down in the Short Stirs section, I believe. Take the lift to the third floor and it's just past Shallow Philosophers -- turn left at Whiners and right at Simpering Nabobs, you can't miss it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: GUEST,Kitty
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 03:45 PM

Thanks for the words.

( "We still have stuff to sort out" doesn't refer to money, but our pets ! You might laugh, but they are more important than the money, and I am making sure I get my 50 / 50 there !)

Anyway, I have picked up some good advice here. I have moved on, really, but it still hurts when someone behaves in a way you never expected, and thge unfortunate thing is that it makes you doubt your judgement and trust less.

Thanks mudcatters. I feel better.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 03:56 PM

".... doubt your judgement and trust less".

Welcome to the club. Glad to see you are getting more "people smart". Took me a while.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 04:16 PM

Sounds like you da brains an' him da clutz. Build your next business for yourself, preferably in competition. That is the answer to your other thread too.

Good luck

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: GUEST,kitty
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 04:28 PM

what does "da brains an' him da clutz" mean ? Is that a dialect ?

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:01 PM

I think every couple needs a passion they share--like music.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Janie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:06 PM

Custom Made Woman Blues

by Alice Gerard



Well I tried to be the kind of woman you wanted me to be
And it's not your fault that I tried to be what I thought you wanted to see
Smilin' face shinnin' hair clothes that I thought you'd like me to wear
Made to please and not to tease it's the custom made woman blues.

Yes I tried to be the kind of woman you wanted me to be
And I tried to see life your way and say all the things you'd like me to say
Lovin' looks gentle hands an guaranteed to keep a' holdin' your man
Made to please and not to tease it's the custom made woman blues.

And now you say you're tired of me and all of those things I thought you wanted me to be
Is it true you want some one who knows how to think and do on her own
Lord it's hard to realize the lessons I learned so was young were nothing but lies
Made to please and not to tease it's the custom made woman blues
Made to please and not to tease it's the custom made woman blues.

Subject: RE: BS: treat ur wife as u would ur girlfriend ?
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 06:22 PM

kind of a sad song, that.....too bad it ever has to be that way.