BS: Drink and live longer

Subject: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 May 06 - 09:14 AM

A new report suggests that if MEN drink every day it helps prevent heart disease, unfortunately this does NOT apply to WOMEN, oh dear how sad, but as women keep telling us they are the better drivers, there is no excuse now.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 May 06 - 09:17 AM

Of couse I'm talking booze here.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: bobad
Date: 27 May 06 - 10:25 AM

Drink and smoke pot and live forever - ah, living's good here on the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 11:03 AM

Oh, I can't wait till Shane spots this thread...

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 May 06 - 11:07 AM

Interesting you should mention Shane, Little Hawk. Just yesterday I was wondering where and how he was... I din't ask because I eventualy decided I din't really care. (But don't tell him that.)

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 11:19 AM

No, he would be hurt if he heard that. I won't tell him.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Peace
Date: 27 May 06 - 02:05 PM

I have never smoked marijuana and I never will, but some friends of mine did and have you ever noticed that Sara Lee makes the best Orange Cake in the Universe? After a sandwich of but be careful with the stove because and the dog will want some too then you'll be days cleaning up after summer comes and the days lengthen a bit so set your clock!

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 06 - 03:48 PM

Yeah, I saw it too.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 May 06 - 03:53 PM

Cheers!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: bobad
Date: 27 May 06 - 03:56 PM

I saw a volcano erupt on the neck of a friend and the lava flowed down his back.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 06 - 03:57 PM

Well... now, c'mon eh!! It's fer sure, like, that women, eh, won't live longer from yer drinkin but men will, right, eh. It's, like, simple, eh, ya know what I am sayin. When we lads drink, we get relaxed and we ignore her, so our blood pressure goes down. When she gets into a few ales, she gets even more pissed about the shit that we didn't get done, so, like, her blood pressure goes up, eh. It's all about the pressure. Right? Know what I'm sayin, eh?

Dale

Grab me another one while yer there, eh. OUCH! What the fuck what that for?

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:07 PM

Some friends of mine had a budgie named Charlie who drank whisky on a daily basis from a teaspoon, mimicking the habit of their elderly father who drank the same whiskey daily from a glass. Charlie was an exceedingly long-lived bird for a budgie. His drinking bouts would prompt much inebriated squawking and swaying about on the perch and lecherous assaults upon his long-suffering companion, a female budgie named Honey. He would, in moments of avian enthusiasm, launch himself from the perch into a crazed, veering, unsteady, half-in-the-bag flight which normally ended in a spectacular crash landing and roll on the carpet, from where he would have to be rescued and returned eventually to the perch. He finally fell off the perch one day, having experienced an attack of some kind. He was rushed to the kitchen, where they held a teaspoon of whisky in front of his apparently lifeless form, hoping against hope that the love for his favorite libation would bring him back from death's door.

He opened his bleary little eyes for a moment...grabbed one last hearty beakful of whisky....and kicked the bucket. What a grand way for a bird to die!

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:14 PM

Didja ever notice the faucet? I mean, the perfect drops dripping from the faucet, ya know? And the faucet itself, too. I could watch the drops and the faucet for hours because there is perfection there except when the snake comes out.

How to live longer.

A doctor told a man he only had six months to live, and the man asked if he could do ANYTHING to live longer. ANYTHING!!!

After much pleading the doctor told him to move to the poorest, most hardscrabble farm in Kentucky he could find -- one so poor that even the rocks were below average. Then he was to marry a widow woman with six or seven very young children, and plow those fields with a sick old mule. "My god!" the man replied "Will this make me live longer?" "No," said the doctor, "but it will feel like forever."

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:17 PM

Daily? You mean, he'd a drop o' the craythur every morn?

Whack fol the da now!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:48 PM

Good story, Rapaire...!

Yes, gnu, the bird drank whisky every day of his life from the time they got him started on the habit. He also ate little bits of cooked hamburger! This was one weird budgie, let me tell ya. He violated most of the avian rules of common sense and decency. He was a fowl of extremely unsavory character.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Peace
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:58 PM

"He was a fowl of extremely unsavory character."

Let him read this:



The simple stuffing can be used with either fish or poultry. It is the stuffing of choice for Thanksgiving and Christmas in Canadian homes.


2 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cups bread crumbs
1 tablespoon dried savoury
1/2 teaspoon salt


Melt the butter in a skillet, add the onion and cook until softened. Toss the bread crumbs with the savory and salt. Add the onions and mix well. Makes enough stuffing for a large chicken or fish. For turkey, double or triple the ingredients.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 06 - 05:18 PM

A buddy I have not seen in 25 years had a lesser sulfur crested cockatoo. It was about 8 months old when we were working a construction job in NS. He would allow the bird several drops of Southern Comfort from his little finger after dunking in in his glass.

This bird would always try to climb to the highest point in the room. One day, I went to the aid of a young lady who had a flat tire in front of our cabins at the "hotel" we were at. My drink of SC and orange slices was on a coffee table and guess who got into it!

It was a swanky place and the furniture was top notch. I still remember that bird trying to climb up the Silas (fancy brand name) maple lamp by bringing the Kleenex box over to the lamp to get a leg up. Imagine this bird with one leg on the lamp and one leg on the kleenex box.... and the Kleenex box sliding away from the lamp!!! Doing the splits like a goalie!!! Our laughter was not well received by the cockatoo. When he gave up on that, he climbed Greg, his owner, and, once atop Greg.... yup, he did.

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 May 06 - 05:28 PM

Doctor told Joe he had only two weeks to live, and Joe said, "Can I have the first two weeks in August?"
G. ☻

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 05:34 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: John O'L
Date: 27 May 06 - 05:53 PM

An even newer report suggests that if men drink every day and every night, they live not just longer, but FOREVER!

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 06:47 PM

Well, if a man was able to continue drinking indefinitely, without ever stopping, then I guess he would live forever.

I think that may be what Shane is trying to do.

But that's assuming he even has a plan...which may be assuming far too much. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 06 - 06:59 PM

Sounds like a plan. (Old Kent County saying.)

Dale

Subject: RE: BS: Drink and live longer
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 May 06 - 07:03 PM

"I have a cunning plan, My Lord..."