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BS: Signed, The Campground Committee

wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 01:59 PM
wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 01:59 PM
wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 02:00 PM
wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 02:01 PM
GUEST,Russ 21 Aug 06 - 05:04 PM
wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 05:43 PM
wysiwyg 21 Aug 06 - 05:48 PM
katlaughing 21 Aug 06 - 06:13 PM
The Fooles Troupe 21 Aug 06 - 07:56 PM
Kaleea 21 Aug 06 - 08:38 PM
Paul from Hull 21 Aug 06 - 08:50 PM
Sorcha 21 Aug 06 - 09:03 PM
Janie 21 Aug 06 - 09:10 PM
Janie 21 Aug 06 - 09:39 PM
open mike 21 Aug 06 - 11:57 PM
wysiwyg 22 Aug 06 - 09:22 AM
MMario 22 Aug 06 - 09:39 AM
wysiwyg 26 Aug 06 - 04:34 PM
The Fooles Troupe 26 Aug 06 - 07:40 PM
Sorcha 26 Aug 06 - 09:01 PM
wysiwyg 26 Aug 06 - 09:32 PM
Lady Hillary 27 Aug 06 - 02:42 PM
wysiwyg 27 Aug 06 - 04:23 PM
Sorcha 28 Aug 06 - 11:32 AM
MMario 28 Aug 06 - 11:52 AM
wysiwyg 28 Aug 06 - 11:52 AM
Sorcha 28 Aug 06 - 12:55 PM
The Fooles Troupe 28 Aug 06 - 07:54 PM
Old Guy 29 Aug 06 - 12:50 AM
dianavan 29 Aug 06 - 01:48 AM
Paul from Hull 29 Aug 06 - 07:57 AM
Tig 29 Aug 06 - 06:22 PM
wysiwyg 29 Aug 06 - 06:39 PM
dianavan 30 Aug 06 - 02:28 PM
Lady Hillary 02 Sep 06 - 06:32 PM
Lady Hillary 02 Sep 06 - 08:06 PM
wysiwyg 04 Sep 06 - 02:38 PM
wysiwyg 03 Apr 07 - 01:57 PM
Alice 03 Apr 07 - 02:49 PM
wysiwyg 03 Apr 07 - 02:55 PM
wysiwyg 16 Aug 09 - 12:10 PM
gnu 16 Aug 09 - 02:45 PM
wysiwyg 27 Mar 11 - 11:31 AM
Sandra in Sydney 28 Mar 11 - 06:57 AM
frogprince 28 Mar 11 - 09:58 AM
EBarnacle 28 Mar 11 - 10:49 AM
The Fooles Troupe 28 Mar 11 - 08:37 PM
Sandra in Sydney 28 Mar 11 - 09:29 PM
Donuel 28 Mar 11 - 10:26 PM
EBarnacle 17 Sep 12 - 10:05 PM
Bobert 17 Sep 12 - 10:18 PM

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Subject: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 01:59 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

The Committee wishes to thank your camping group for choosing to lodge with us, and we congratulate you for your fine campsite choice under the shrubbery on the cool, low ground along the creek. We were sorry to note that your large RV apparently is not presently operable, but please know that you are welcome to stay as long as you like while you await the necessary parts for repairs. The Mosquito members are especially gladdened by the promise of many nights of fellowship and fine dining.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 01:59 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

We are writing in regards to the large Naugahyde recliner one of your party has apparently installed under the tree at the far side of your campsite.

We regret to inform you of the following:

1. The Committee has not authorized a recliner as State Park camping equipment;
2. The tree under which you have placed the recliner is not part of your campsite but belongs with the neighboring tenters' campsite;
3. The Committee frowns upon Naugahyde as an unnatural material;
4. The notices to this effect left by the Avian members of The Committee are to be left in place, not removed and ignored.

Please stow the recliner safely in your vehicle for the balance of your stay with us.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:00 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

Through The Committee's investigation, we have become aware that a recent trespasser upon our private dwelling space occupies YOUR camping unit. Please inform all members of your party that the gap in the bushes behind your site leads immediately to the nesting area of Ms. Skunk, a longtime member of The Committee and usually a gracious hostess. She wishes you to know (and we concur unanimously) that a second warning will NOT be given (and other measures will be taken) if anyone from your party again intrudes past the decorative ivy outside her home.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:01 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

At our meeting of last night, the Committee discussed your trash-handling procedures. We appreciate very much your effort to feed us (Mr. Raccoon especially asked to be remembered to you). However, although your empty soup can and lid seemed promising, we wish to inform you that rinsing the cans before setting them out for us is NOT authorized, and that bundling such items with used sanitary supplies is REALLY not done at our campground!

You may expect a return inspection this evening. Items not approved will again be left for your attention.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 05:04 PM

enjoyed this:)


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 05:43 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

The Committee wishes to thank your group for an especially entertaining evening last night. The blue enamelware you set out so picturesquely to dry overnight on the picnic table made a VERY effective (and lovely) set of frisbees for The Committee's Youth Representatives! If more campers would only follow your example and eschew dish drainers, no doubt we could involve many more of our youth in this healthy alternative to roadway play.

Please discuss same with the other campers in your loop.

We may return to your site for this game again, but please understand if we move the game around the campground to include as many participants as possible. As you probably know, gametime is scheduled for an hour past campfire-snuffing.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 05:48 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

The Committee wishes to inform you that your folding nylon camp chairs were among those confiscated last night in the monthly campground sweep of duplicate camping items. If you would like to attempt to identify your specific chairs among the green nylon chairs (with stuff sacks attached) that were collected, you will find several hundred going up for auction (to benefit The Committee) at noon at the Camp playground.

Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 06:13 PM

Dear Campers,

Certain foodstuff which you bring into camp will be confiscated, as it is deemed not safe for your consumption. The Squirrel Brigade is in charge of this operation, along with the Camp Robber Division. Such items will include, but not be limited to, any form of nuts: cashews, peanuts, etc.; dry bread and crackers; rotted fruit, etc. Please keep this in mind when preparing your menu of the day and have a pleasant stay.

The Campground Committee

(Hope you don't mind my playing, too, Susan.:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 07:56 PM

I think some people have been looking over the hedge...


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Kaleea
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 08:38 PM

Dear Campground Committee:

    It has come to the attention of The International Safety Association for Naugas and Nylons Endangered, that Naugas and Nylons have &/or are being abused on your campgrounds. International Policy clearly states that abuse of these endangered species shall not be tolerated. Any individual or group, whether private or not, is liable under International Policy if they or anyone on their properties abuse or are in posession of of these endangered species. Furthermore, posession and sales of the hydes, or any portions thereof, of these species shall result in the maximum punishment.
    International agents for the INSANNE will arrive shortly after the noon hour to inspect your campgrounds. Any and all violators of the aforementioned International Policy will be hung by their tails, and all Naugas, Nylons, hydes, or portions thereof will be confisgated. Moreover, the campgrounds will permantly be closed for future use as an INSANNE preserve for the protection of Naugas and Nylons.
   
                                 Dr. I. M. Nutz
                                 Director, INSANNE


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 08:50 PM

Wow...this is getting serious...

Gripping stuff, wot?

*G*


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 09:03 PM

ROF!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 09:10 PM

Dear Campground Committee,

I hope you had a lousy night.

The rules should specify that tents should be zippered closed, even when not in use. For some reason, the ants thought the half-eaten pop tart I left lying on my sleeping bag in the open tent was an invitation for dinner and a sleep over.

Unhappy Camper


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 09:39 PM

Dear Campground Committee,

I hope you had a lousy night. The ants were univited guests. I can't believe you charged me for them.

Unhappy Camper.


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: open mike
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 11:57 PM

so is this why you are closing down the mud bunk house at your place?
you need a k.o.a. permit? how about installing a kamper kabin?
i hear they come in kits in sweden. lincoln logs grows up!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 09:22 AM

Laurel, we did not close down the mud bunk house; we just removed access to it when we are not at home. (There used to be a number of Mudcatters with open-access invitations.) This is how rumors start!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 09:39 AM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

We are happy to announce that the panther who has been denned up in the RV of a certain camper has been pursueded to remove himself from under the bunk, with only a small loss of tissue and blood from the Wildlife Compassion Officer who was called to deal with the situation.

Please remember that the wildlife was here before we were. If the wildlife should wish to repossess portions of their natural habitat we can only comply. The campground is not responsible if wildlife cannot distinguish between your RV and a cave, nor if bats consider your tarp covered boat to be an ideal roosting site.

For the Campground Committee
and The Office of Responsible Relations with Wildlife
(signed) Orville Wilberforce-Smythe IV, Negotiation Officer


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 06 - 04:34 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

We also hope that your journey home today was safe and uneventful, but we are writing to inform you that you are permanently banned from our campground!

Our reasons are as follows.

1. Firstly, you violated the clearly-stated policy that specifically forbids washing dirty dishes at the freshwater spigot. No campground permits this-- campers must take care of housekeeping at their site at every civilized camprgrond.

Your soapy water killed hundreds of our insect brethren, removing them from the chain of life that keeps the campground clean for everyone. Your food waste was thus made non-biodegradable, as the campers who had to walk through your filth on the way to their showers will attest. Only the patent disgust at finding what a fellow camper had done (evident on numerous campers' faces)-- not to mention the colorful staff verbiage-- provided a basis for restraining ourselves from wiping out your whole species.

2. Secondly, when you pulled away from the campsite allotted to you, this morning, without first unhooking the water and electric lines attached to your camper-- you not only damaged campground property and flooded the surrounding habitat, you provoked so much campground noise so early in the morning that normally-peaceful seasonal regulars among our clientele swore if you ever returned, they would promptly commit felonious assualt upon yourself, your camper, and your children's children to the fourth generation.

We prefer to carry out sentence ourselves.


Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Aug 06 - 07:40 PM

P.S.

We know where you live, and we have relatives everywhere!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sorcha
Date: 26 Aug 06 - 09:01 PM

Dear Campers,
We hope your night was restful and your party was fun.

However, there will be NO MORE glass containers permitted in the camp sites. Any and all glass containers MUST be kept inside the camper at all times. They will not be smashed against the fire ring or thrown into the fire to explode over our luncheonette.

All non biodegradeable items such as aluminum will be packed out or placed in the rubbage bins provided for this purpose.

Your fire WILL be supervised at all times. Use of the fresh water spigot is not allowed to attempt to control forest fires. Keep it small, size does matter.

Signed,
The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 06 - 09:32 PM

:~)


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 02:42 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

Mr. S. Turtle regrets that he was unable to join and enliven the pondside party on the night prior to the departure of those thoughtful enough provide entertainment to all of us until dawn on their final night with us. He believes that his participation would have made a major difference in the outcome of the moonlit nude water polo game.

The Committee wishes to inform you that the following policies have been instated for water facility users.

1. Only non-motorized craft are allowed on the pond. We have confiscated the jet ski that was left by the swimming area. If you wish it rerurned you must inform us of your insurance carrier. Ms Beaver is still in the ICU. The Kits became a bit upset and opened the dam. The jet ski is now in non-working condition but must be removed from the base of the waterfall before winter. Mr. Moose can be contracted to arrange this operation.

2. The slide near the swimming area is restricted to responsible users. Careless use of said slide caused several near misses on members of the committee. Fortunately no one was injured. All further scares will dealt with an appropriate manner.

3. All young must be supervised. Ms. Otter has informed the committee that several campers have neglected to take their young with them upon departure. In the event of their reappearance, parents will be billed for food and supervision, as well as reeducation. All expenses incurred will be billed to the appropriate adult account. In the event of account closure, our more urban associates will come and reason with you. All medical bills will be charged directly to your accounts. You can work with your insurance carrier to straighten out the matters.

Most respectively submitted and

Signed,

The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 04:23 PM

!LOL!


Actually seen in a hunters' restaurant near a campground:

CHILDREN LEFT UNCLAIMED WILL BE SOLD FOR BAIT

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:32 AM

(This entire thread is PRICELESS!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:52 AM

Dear Camper:

We hope you stay so far has been pleasant and delightful.

The CAmpground Committee has considered your comment in the suggestion box in regards to tablecloths. While we do understand that removing and folding the cloth after use does contribute extra work to someone "on vacation" we would like to point out that it clearly states in the Campground Handbook (chapter III, Section B, Paragraph 17c) that any tablecloth left unattended in the campground will be subject to selection as the daily target for one of the following:

'Strafing Run Practice' by the Seagull Squadron of the Campground Protection League.

'Waste DisPosal Pellet Projection' by the Nocturnal Owl Brigade

'Saturation bombing' by the Pigeon and Dove Division (Campground Air Corp)

Signed,

The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:52 AM

(We love our new camper)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 12:55 PM

Haven't been able to use ours yet! :(


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 07:54 PM

"We love our new camper"


So do we.


Signed
The Pigeons.


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Old Guy
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 12:50 AM

Heard from another old guy waiting to get a camping spot assigned to him at Mounr Blue Stats Park in Maine:

Just put me somewheah!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: dianavan
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:48 AM

As a member of the squirrel brigade, I must warn you that our warriors are mighty.

Do not mess with the committee!

signed, Nutty



(OPEN THIS LINK AT YOUR OWN PERIL. POSSIBLE PORN!)

http://www.utterwonder.com/archives/images/squirrels%20nuts.jpg


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 07:57 AM

Ok Nutty, stand back....I'll handle this...

NUTTER the Squirrel


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Tig
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 06:22 PM

Brilliant!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 06:39 PM

Dear Campers,

You dozey lot!

The backyard is not, I repeat NOT, rated as a campground. Why else do you think the pitch of the ground is so extreme! When we are at your home, WE wish to be on vacation, you idjits!

Please-- don't make us come over there and bust off that stabilizer leg you are attempting to hyperextend!

Signed,

The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: dianavan
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 02:28 PM

Dear Campers -

I was not authorized by the Campground Committee to post my portrait. It was an attempt on my part to make you 'smarten up' and realize that as peaceful as the residents may appear, we do have our own brand of terrorists. We wear no uniforms but we will defend our community if necessary.

Apologies to the committee if you have found my portrait offensive.

Beware of nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 06:32 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

This notice is to remind all of our guests of the rules and policies regarding the hiking trails:

Please stay on the trails. Some of the trails go very close to some of the committees living quarters. As was noted above, some of our members appreciate their privacy.
The footpaths are clearly marked so that you can follow them. Straying from any path carries hazards. A recent camper reported to the health service with a severe rash. Upon inquiry, it was discovered that the camper had strayed from the path to examine an interesting plant whose leaves were in groups of three. Regrettably, this camper had to seek medical service outside our grounds, as the rash was quite extensive. Please remember that any thing you bring in on your hiking trails must be brought out.

1. Easy trails are marked with blue blazes.   These trails are usually located over flat terrain with lots of convenient resting points and locations to either get assistance or turn back. These trails are under the supervision of the Squirrel Brigade. They are very good at keeping track of hikers (especially those who bring edible supplies, such as nuts, gorp and granola), but not so good at leading hikers back to their camping areas. Not many campers can scamper over small branches.

2. Moderate trails are marked with yellow blazes. They are more physically demanding. They are also more interesting. We recently observed a younger camper using a hanging vine to cross a rapid, rather than using the convenient bridge. When he fell, he disturbed the raccoon family at their pre-prandial ablutions. While the amount of food lost was not significant (except to the family) both the upset to their composure and the damage to the scenery were significant. We have not yet determined how to re-hang the vine. The camper's friends got him back to the campground, where he was admitted to the infirmary. These trails are under the supervision of the Raccoon Ramblers.

3. Hard trails are marked with Red blazes. These trails are more challenging. Several of the trails have wonderful scenic overlooks that will give a panoramic view of the whole valley. Please go up in groups of 3 or more. These trails are under the supervision of the Raptor Group. Their normal operating procedure is to assign one of their members to keep an eye on the group(s). So.. If you see vultures making lazy circles overhead don't worry, they are there for your protection.


Most respectively submitted and

Signed,

The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 08:06 PM

Dear campers,
We hope you slept well last night. We didn't.
Mrs. Mouse and family did their best to clean up the insecure food one of you left out and, in their efforts to help you, they overdid it. If you think it is pleasant to spend the entire night listening to the anguished squeekings of 35 engorged mice, think again.

Consider getting secure food containers, such as these:

http://www.bellcanoe.com/products/index.html

Their barrels are waterproof as well as impermeable to casual damage.

Tiredly,
The Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 02:38 PM

Dear Campers,

Please be advised that there is a special weather alert for this afternoon, and do not be concerned when the change occurs.

Skies will show an unusual color as the day progresses. The comforting gray you have all been enjoying will give way, briefly, to what we call "Blue Skies." You may notice a slight discoloration of skin in conjunction with this phenomenon. We're sorry to report that this will be accompanied by a temporary lack of the wet conditions to which you are all accustomed.

For your convenience and safety, below is a review of the correct action to take when this condition occurs.

1. When this event begins, please empty your tents and trailers of all damp or dry items and hang them outside your dwellling.

2. Open all doors and zippers on your unit; it will be safest if you also remove and stow all awnings and rain flys.

3. Leave the campground for your safety.

4. Return in time to make your evening meal.


Upon your return you should find that sufficient time has passed for this adverse weather condition to improve significantly.

Thank you for your cooperation, and do enjoy your day out.


Signed,

Robin D. Redbreast, for The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:57 PM

Dear Campers,

Word has reached us here at [you know which park] that you plan on visiting our facilities for weekend camping over the next several months. We'd like to remind you in advance that we have not issued any warranty information for the coming camping season. Please be advised that the facilities you recall from last year will NOT be fit for human use for the foreseeable future; as a matter of fact most of the prime sites you tried to reserve LAST year have been flooded (as have the nearest public restroom facilities) with some kind of delicious, sludgey liquid residue that we understand may be toxic to humans. In addition, there is a recall of beef products from [store name], nearby.

However we stand always at the ready to welcome you to join us, and we look forward to your incipient arrival!


Yours truly,

I. R. A. Rat, Corresponding Secretary
for The campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Alice
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 02:49 PM

(TRUE!!!! announced April 2007)

Dear Campers,

All areas of the Gallatin National Forest in Montana now have expanded rules.
The rules call for all unattended food and garbage to be stored in a hard-sided vehicle, a bear-proof container or hung 10 feet above the ground. In campgrounds, compliance will require cleaning up immediately after a meal and keeping coolers and food boxes in cars or trailers.
The storage orders are in effect from March 1 to Dec. 1. The maximum penalty for violations is a $5,000 fine or six months in prison.

If you are hunting in the Gallatin National Forest, take enough rope to hang food and/or game at least 10 feet above ground.

It is advised that you be aware that bears think YOU are food, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 02:55 PM

Wow, those bears write well! :~)

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 12:10 PM

Dear Site 23 Campers,

We miss you so much. Your stay with us was too brief! You left before the busy weekend trade had pulled out! Remember that first night, before they all descended with their delicious aromas of poorly-stored leftovers and their poorly rain-flied tents? We WANTED to pay your site a visit even after they came, but they had left their tents open for the night air and you know how it is....

But we remember with such fondness that night we paraded about your site (before the night you lit up the Coleman lantern the better to see us), not only all around the picnic table inches from your chairs but the lovely dance we did underneath your chairs. We just LOVE those zero-grav chairs you got-- soooo much easier for us to enjoy than the solid little LazyBoy you used to bring!

What did we do wrong? We noticed that only one of you was able to relaxedly welcome us to that dance, while the other's chair fabric seemed to suddenly get very, very tense, suspended from totally non-flexing bungee cords. What's up with that?

And we promise, if you will come back on any Tuesday before we grow up, to stage another mock fight right in front of you. You can even use the lantern, altho we don't really care for it-- because we WANT you to enjoy the artistry of two raised-tailed yoots facing off to claim the valuable real estate nearest the picnic table and espresso-machine table.

Hey, don't forget to bring the MP3 recorder out next time, too, BTW, before you wrap up in those hot, bulky sleeping bags in your chairs, because we promise extra-thrilling squeaks. Just for you.

BFF,

The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 02:45 PM

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 11:31 AM

Dear Camper,

Good morning; we were glad to note that your 32-degree night was restful and that you did not repeat last night's sad bedwetting incident; we congratulate you upon expanding your camping season to enjoy our own delightful, winter-fur season.

The Committee wishes to thank you for the delicious fare you added to our meager winter food supply.

We were sorry, however, to note that your Class Dm Boondocker apparently did not afford convenient space for you to dress discreetly... please know that seeing a human remove her fur was quite a shock to our youngest members, when you elected to change into businesswear at our dining table instead of walking the few extra steps to the nearby enclosed building whose amenities we have so enjoyed, ourselves.

The Committee's mosquito members, unfortunately, were not on hand to remind you NOT to try THAT again, no matter HOW apparently empty the campground appeared to be! We would remind you that park rangers share our viewpoint about this matter, and WILL be driving through more often when you next visit!

(Please-- TMI!!!)


Signed, The Campground Committee


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 06:57 AM

I'm so glad I don't camp in wild places!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 09:58 AM

I have camped in WILD PLACES,
Where mosquitos bite,
And the racoons carry
My food away;
But I'll be OKa-yay...

            Garth Woods


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: EBarnacle
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 10:49 AM

Dear camper,

We, the Committee, wish to thank you for your consideration in storing your kayak upside down last night. It made a very welcome shelter when that sudden storm came through. Several of us found shelter in it from the wind and rain. We regret that a few of our newer members are not sufficiently trained. As a result, we left a few fascinating reminders of our existence inside the boat.

Our apologies for reminding you that you are not at home.


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 08:37 PM

"I'm so glad I don't camp in wild places! "

What? King's Cross not wild enough for you?


:-P


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 09:29 PM

living here since 1976 is probably a bit more permanent than camping!


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 10:26 PM

Dear Campers,

Good morning; we hope your night was restful.

The Committee wishes to warn your group for your especially unentertaining vocalizations in the morning.

Your attempt to imitate commitee member Darth Bird by repeating TiVO TIVO to his morning mating call was done in a vile and offensive intonation. It took hours to calm his raving outrage.

Also your repetion of CAW CAW directed at Commitee member Edgar Raven was a particularly insensitive response to his call for help Kaw KAw which means help I think I have bird flu.

While your imitation bird calls have given way to coughing we strongly advise that you refrain from any such off color avaian messaging in the future.

Thank you


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 Sep 12 - 10:05 PM

Dear Campers,
Good morning; we hope your night was restful.
We hope you have enjoyed the camping season,

This is a reminder that the auction of unclaimed property will be held on Friday 1 hour after Suppertime.

Some of the highlights of the auction include:
5 Blue nylon camping chairs (confiscated as duplicate items)
3 blue Tablecloths- brought in by the Raccoon family
2 small campers with red shirts found by the waterfall –brought in by Ms Otter.
1 non working jet ski
1 older camper with a blue shirt found on the red rail- brought in by the Vultures.
3 red coolers – empty (they were very well inspected)

Most respectively submitted and

Signed,

The Campground Committee
LH on EB's account


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Subject: RE: BS: Signed, The Campground Committee
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Sep 12 - 10:18 PM

I ain't sleepin' on no ground...

No cots then no me...

Get it???

B~


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