BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:16 PM

I don't know but I could give it a try.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:12 PM

Can you swing 'em to and fro, can you tie them up in ribbon, can you tie them in a bow?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:10 PM

One of them, yes!

The other two are great.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:20 PM

>>I've got three sorts of balls but I'm not shouting about it. <<

Are any of them blue?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: autolycus
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 06:13 AM

Pedant alert. By my reckoning, Zebras are 25 times
bigger than A bra, not 26. Sorry I'm late,it's a long
way from Tipperary. (I feel a right titter. Coming on.)






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:18 AM

I've got three sorts of balls but I'm not shouting about it.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:12 AM

I used to know a girl with bearded tits in her garden.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 12:36 AM

Ah Rowan, I know what you mean... a walk in my native habitat not so long ago, gave me the sight of a family group of buzzards, just wheeling along, enjoying the updraughts coming off the hill. They barely flapped, yet achieved amazing altitudes and spiralled off out over the plain (or west Dorset as we call it) and vanished into the bluest sky I've ever seen in the northern hemisphere. Truly a stunning sight.

By the way... someone better tell my tits that they don't eat nuts. There were three blue ones hanging off the nut bag yesterday.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:33 PM

Liz, I'm surprised you find us hard to "get over"; we're avid bird watchers and your tits aren't the only ones we've been on about. I'm no twitcher, although I've seen lots of sights that had me twitching.

Wandering albatross cresting Southern Ocean rollers are a sight to make anyone twitch; occasionally a wing feather will ruffle into the airflow over the wing; beautiful! I've even held a Wilson's Storm Petrel in the palm of my hand, although Great Petrels lumbering over the ice with too much seal carrion aboard tend to be a bit offputting. I've listened to lyrebirds imitate chainsaws, focal plane shutters of cameras, dogs barking and multitudes of other birds. I've never heard the one that imitated the flautist practising Mozart, nor seen the visual display but it still made me twitch a bit. I've seen great flocks of galahs (even imitated one occasionally) and pelicans where they nest; wonderful.

So I hope I've come across as one who's paid proper respect for your tits and their behaviour. I wouldn't wish to be misinterpreted about them.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:39 PM

I do not know about that GUEST. I have heard a lot of salacious stories about milkmen so I'm sure that have, in the morning....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:35 PM

Once again Liz..I have to admire your tits..they have really caused a stir on here.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:33 PM

You can't beat the tits in the morning.



So get the milkman to cover the bottle tops when he delivers.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:12 PM

A tit ate my peanut!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

If tits eat nuts then beware!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 03:52 PM

Now durn it Giok, you are giving misleading information again by implying tits are nucivorous (nut-eating). All tit species of the genus Parus are frugivorous (fruit-eating) or gleaning insectivors.

Please get your tit-feeding habit facts straight. Liz's tit habits are misunderstood enough as they are without more misinformation.

Tit bills (beaks) did not evolve to eat nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 12:32 PM

Nothing more pleasing than to see a pair of tits at rest after a couple of nuts have been dealt with.
G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Converted tit lover
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 12:18 PM

I have fallen in love with tits beacuse of my avid interest in this thread. LTS, your tits are an inspiration to us all. BJ

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 10:28 AM

I vote for LTS as the Mudcat Queen of Double-Entendre (or in this case Triple- Entendre).

You are good sport Lady.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

Take comfort in the fact Liz, that your tits have given pleasure to so many. Without all your imparted knowledge we would never have known all we now know about them.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 01:10 PM

Lizzy,

What you have here is of bunch of men who are Bird Dogs (Men who steal another man's girlfriends (chicks) or dates; Remember the Everly Bros. song?)

Therefore, and as any bird hunter knows, Bird Dogs are known best for beating the BUSHES in search of game. Even though your tits are not considered small game animals and are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act there are those bird dogs that are always searching for bird chicks like your tits.

So, teach your tits to not respond to any bird calls used by game bird hunters. The sound of the call will be similar the the Squeak of your tits when they vocalize with each other.

It would be devastating to see your tits shot down in their prime. Tit birdwatching would never be the same fun you mentioned having, without you and other Mudcatters watching your particular tits.

_____________________________________________________________________


"Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you're on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own"

Everly Brothers

_____________________________________________________________________

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 11:54 AM

I really cannot get over you guys!!!!

Hope you're having as much fun bird watching as I am!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:11 PM

Liz the Squeak,

Have you considered waxing your BUSH? Please be careful because if you use hot wax and your tits should flit in it they could be injured; your tits will definitely Squeak! with pain.

Hot BUSH wax betwixt feathers and tits don't mix.   

Just one of those eternal truths in the Life of Birds.

BTW, of clinical significance, I have tried waxed BUSH and the unruly, nuisance variety you mention. My preference is definitely the former although the latter can be much riper, so better for your tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 06:17 PM

>> am, however, having to consider trimming my bush down <<

Watch out for the stubble jumpers

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 05:47 PM

I have tried to plant shrubs that provide a sheltered and protective environment, but this summer's ban on hoses has meant they went without sustenance and consequently I've lost several of them. Their departure has left some bare nekkid patches which I'm hoping will be covered in the spring. The pittisporum and the butterfly bush have thrived though, as has the bay.

I am, however, having to consider trimming my bush down to fence height because it's just so unruly and starting to be a nuisance to the neighbours. Trouble is, the tits love it because it still gives good cover and it'll be ripe enough to eat the seeds soon.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 03:31 PM

No, this thread is about 3000s not 200s

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

200

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

Nearly

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 01:40 PM

If they are still hanging around please wish them a merry Christmas from me.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:46 AM

Liz, there must be any number of ways of stopping your tits from suffering with the wind. Letting them blow all over the garden may be natural but with the right protection they could be supported in their everyday living situation.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Adrianel
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 08:14 PM

To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
"Has your east tit the least bit
"The best of the west tit,
"Or is it a trick of perspective?"

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 07:35 PM

I don't remember ever seeing a bra used as a windsock but I suppose it would help your tits to make sure they took off into the wind.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 07:27 PM

I don't think my tits would like being covered in custard... they have enough trouble getting airbourne as it is. It's been very windy here recently and they're being blown all over the garden.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:47 PM

Well I hope you are going to behave yourself on Friday Pistachio :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Pistachio
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:31 PM

Thanks, I've been laughing outloud and all because of titinvasions!
What a thread!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:29 PM

Maybe they should have custard squirted all over them, then the custard can be licked off. perish the thought :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 04:24 PM

But I'm not sure a proper paper would put them in any better perspective.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 04:23 PM

A good paper might put LIz' tits in proper perspective.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:23 PM

Okay, I think I have regained my, uh, composure..............................................................................Naw, I'll try again L8r.................................................................maybe...................................................................!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 09:38 AM

"So you'd like to do a scientific paper on my tits?"

Liz, Liz, Liz! I will need to get back with you on that one. The tears of laughter are preventing me from continuing at the moment...

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................."The Tracks of My Tears".....................................

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:23 AM

I'll support anything including Aston Villa :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:01 AM

Although your tits have been out of sight Liz, they have not been out of mind. The Villan who resurrected the thread obviously wishes to offer them support.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:41 PM

If you don't mind the pen poking through the paper occasionally.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:39 PM

So you'd like to do a scientific paper on my tits?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 02:57 PM

Good guess Bunnahabhain (what kinda name is that anyway?!) but not the answer.

I would give the mammalian Order, but that would give the answer away. Think of a more exotic and less common animal species.

Thank for the Reply B. With replies like yours, we may change this thread towards a scientific endeavor and let the others have some bawdy fun along the way. I know you, like me, never opened this thread for other than purely scientific curiosity; correct? I bet you, also like me, do not read the non-scientific stuff either, huh? (Clears his throat again, for some inexplicable reason)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 09:10 AM

It's a pig, isn't it Cruiser?

I'll not say anything else on this thread, or else I'll be in trouble for making a tit of myself....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 08:43 PM

They call them chickadees around this neck of the woods. Because of their call, ostensibly.

But maybe our predecessors just didn't like calling them tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 07:34 PM

Its time the tits floated back to the surface.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 03:37 PM

Now Ms. Squeak (mice also squeak as vocalization) I peruse this thread ONLY as an attempt to add pertinent biological information to help keep this thread in a somewhat scientific vein.

Most female mice have 3.3333333333333333333333333333333333333… more tits than you. Their number is 10. Male mice do not usually have   nipples/

BTW, did you ever wonder why male horses do not have teats? Think about it. There simple is no anatomical space for them. The area is taken up by something else (usually 2 of them, of course unless they have been gelded and they still won't have them…I know Mudcatters. Some smart-alecky type would say something about that if I did not state a clarification).

Returning to this thread's relevancy:

Giok said: "With knobs on!"

That kind of titmouse would be a tufted titmouse, a correct ornithological appellation.

Who can tell us the mammalian species with the largest number of teats? (I don't want to give all the titillating information)

Now, please carry-on with your tits

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Den
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:56 PM

I had to laugh the other week or so when the thread, "should a woman make the first move and I've got 3 sorts of tits!", appeared above one and other on the forum list. Well I thought it was funny.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:55 PM

Sounds like my kind of earl.
G.