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BS: But God loves chimps! |
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Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Amos Date: 01 Feb 07 - 03:49 PM I'll say this for him -- he knows how to get all the action he can handle. Bonobos, man -- now THERE's a primate made fer lovin'.... A |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:40 PM I know you, Louie. You're nothin' but a big noise. Like somethin' ya would hear if you put yer ear to a drainpipe that's connected to one of the public toilets at the stadium durin' the World Series. And you smell that way too. Matter of fact, you're worse than the worst human, and that's sayin' a mouthful. Go crawl back up yer tree and quit ruinin' the neighborhood with yer smelly presence, you lowlife bindlestiff chump. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: GUEST,My keepers Brother Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:51 PM do Chimps love God? |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:56 PM They're like people about that. A variety of opinions. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: GUEST,Big Ape Louie Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:28 PM Chongo the Chump. Listen up, Chump-boy. The Boss said to fold, spindle and mutilate you and we're gonna do just that. You stiffed him on that South Side deal and he don't like that at all, not at all. You better get it on and get it off really soon, because pretty soon you ain't gonna have the equipment to do anything more than pee -- and even that's gonna hurt. Just a word to the wise, Chump-boy Chongo. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Wolfgang Date: 15 May 07 - 04:14 AM Female-led infanticide in wild chimpanzees Current Biology, Volume 17, Issue 10, 15 May 2007, Pages R355-R356 You may not be able to see the article, so here is the main finding: Infanticide by male chimps has been documented at all places where these animals are observed. Jane Goodall had once observed female infanticide but interpreted the incident as the attack by a pathological female. Now there is new evidence of coalitionary infanticide by females attacking females not belonging to the group (or new arrivals), taking away their newborns and killing these with a bite in the head. Wolfgang |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: JohnInKansas Date: 15 May 07 - 05:56 AM Chimps Kill and Eat Chimps O.K. - I couldn't resist the inflammatory title, but it's an MSNBC report on the article cited by Wolfgang immediately above. John |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Rapparee Date: 15 May 07 - 09:45 AM So...Chongo got lucky or had a very hard head. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: GUEST,Big Ape Louis Date: 15 May 07 - 10:04 AM That's rich, Rapaire! The Boss'll like that one. Maybe Chongo's here because his head is solid bone and he tastes bad too, huh? Probably like a pile of week-old dog poop, 'cause that's what he looks like. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Amos Date: 15 May 07 - 11:44 AM God does not love chimps. And he is not too fond of gorillas and he's kind of indifferent about the fate of monkeys. One by one, he has walked away from these species, turning his Gracious Attention onto his true favorite, homo sapiens. EVen though scientifically we are just a branch of the chimp world, WE know the difference. You just can't argue with God. You don't see no chimps going around naming all the birds, beasts and fishes, do ya? A |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Rapparee Date: 15 May 07 - 12:16 PM You also don't see them playing banjo. Kinda cancels things out, don't it? |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 15 May 07 - 12:23 PM Yeah, I see you guys are all dead from the neck up, just like I thought. What a sorry bunch of bozos. The biggest load of bull I have ever heard just came from Amos. So you think you homo sapiens are God's Chosen, do ya? That's a laugh and a half! I figger that God has just about run out of patience with you humans by now and is probably workin' up a plan to wipe you all off the face of this planet, cos you've screwed up everything you touched on it so far. Yeah, that's my theory. This planet is gonna be inherited by chimps, baby. You guys will be history. - Chongo |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: KB in Iowa Date: 15 May 07 - 01:49 PM an inordinate fondness for beetles |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Amos Date: 15 May 07 - 01:55 PM Oh, Chongo, Chongo. Get your head clear, little buddy. You surely realize that if it weren't for homo sapiens there wouldn't even BE a God, don't you? I mean, it wouldn't have been possible to generate such a bizarre concatenation of externalized self-representative Infinitude without the ability of language to divorce the spirit from its own actual experience and create synthetic frameworks. Surely, you understand that, don't you? Well...maybe not. But take my word for it.... A |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: InOBU Date: 15 May 07 - 02:39 PM Will Chimp Life Get Human Rights? By Barbara Ehrenreich, AlterNet. Posted May 11, 2007. http://www.alternet.org/rights/51729/ Hiasl, a 26-year old Austrian-based chimpanzee, is petitioning the courts for human status, and let me be the first to extend him a warm welcome to our species. My animal rights activism has never gone beyond the cage-free eggs' stage; it's the human possibilities raised by Hiasl's case that caught my attention. If a chimpanzee can be declared a person, then there's nothing in the way of a person becoming an ape -- and I'm not just talking about a retroactive status applied to ex-husbands. In fact, I predict a surge in trans- specied people, who will eagerly go over to the side of the chimps. The transition need not involve costly, time-consuming, surgical arm extensions and whole-body Rogaine treatments, since we are practically chimpanzees already. We share 99 percent of our genome with them, making it possible for chimps to accept human blood transfusions and kidney donations. Despite their vocal limitations, they communicate easily with each other and can learn human languages. They use tools and live in groups that display behavioral variations attributable to what anthropologists recognize as culture. And we may be a lot closer biologically than Darwin ever imagined. Last May, paleontologists reported evidence of inter- breeding between early humans and chimps as recently as 5 million years ago, and proposed that modern humans are the result of this ancient predilection for bestiality. Hiazl's motivation is economic: The animal sanctuary where he resides has run out of funds, and, in Austria, only a person can receive personal donations. Many humans in this country may be similarly motivated to seek chimp status. There are individuals who commit crimes in order to gain access to the free food and medical care available in a prison. How much easier and more pleasant to have oneself declared a chimp and win entry to the soft life of a zoo animal! Not only are the guards friendly, but one's enclosure has been designed with far more psychological forethought than the average office or cubicle. True, not all chimps have it as easy as Hiazl, who spends most of his time watching TV. There's the danger of being sold to a pharmaceutical company for research, for example, but this should decline as chimps achieve human status. We can't expect much progress on chimpanzee rights in Bush's America, according to Elizabeth Hess, author of the forthcoming book Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human. But in addition to the Austrian debate, the Spanish parliament is considering a bill to extend "fundamental moral and legal protections" to apes. Once apes achieve these protections, American humans are going to want them too. I'm thinking food, shelter, and medical/veterinary care. Another reason to make the human-to-ape transition is the sex, at least if you're smart enough to declare yourself a bonobo or pygmy chimpanzee. Bonobos, who are genetically as close to humans as larger chimpanzees, use sex much as we use handshakes - as a form of greeting between individuals in any gender combination. See an old friend, and you start rubbing genitals together, with mutual orgasm serving as a hearty "How ya doin', pal?" Plus, bonobo bands are female- dominated, which should be a special enticement to women investigating their chimpanzee transition options. There are is another, less selfish reason, to seek chimpanzee status. Like me, you may be a wee bit disappointed in our own species. Here we are - the tool-wielding, word-spouting brainiacs of the earth -- and what have we done with our powers? We've poisoned the world, encrusted it with our unsightly infrastructure, and exterminated most of our fellow earth-dwellers, from elephants and tigers to fish. Of course, what makes humans especially obnoxious is our tendency to believe in our absolute superiority over all creatures. We alone, of all species, have come up with religions and philosophies that declare us uniquely deserving of global hegemony. Yet one by one, our "unique" human traits have turned out to be shared: Chimpanzees have culture; dolphins make art (in the form of bubble patterns); female vampire bats share food with their friends; male baboons will die to defend their troop; rats have recently demonstrated a capability for reflection that resembles consciousness. We are animals, and they are us. But just because you want, for whatever reason, to attain the status of a chimp, don't assume that you'll make the cut. Just as we don't know how the Austrian court will rule in Hiasl's case, we have no reason to believe that the chimps will have us. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Bill D Date: 15 May 07 - 05:15 PM that's the way it is |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Amos Date: 15 May 07 - 05:20 PM LOL!! Larry, thank you. You have taught me a great lesson in humility. I forsake my swollen pride-in-species and will henceforth think twice about any naming rights, dominion, eating rights, extermination and hunting priveleges over any other species. This will take a great effort on my part, being deeply canalized from youth into the notion of our special nature as Man, but I will make the effort. A |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Mr Happy Date: 07 Jul 09 - 08:02 AM Last weekend, 30 chimps escaped from Chester Zoo & broke into the food stores, helping themselves - such ingenuity! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/8135603.stm |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 09 - 10:54 AM A chimp never misses an opportunity like that. |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Gurney Date: 07 Jul 09 - 06:10 PM To quote Gerald Durrell's mother, when her home was invaded by escaped zoo Chimps, "They were better behaved than many guests that I've had!" She served them tea and biscuits. But, they were Chimps that had received the benefit of human contact. Perhaps Chongo should become a missionary? |
Subject: RE: BS: But God loves chimps! From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jul 09 - 02:12 AM Not a bad idea. I bet it pays better than his present job. |