BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!

Subject: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 11:55 AM

O.K. I've had it! No more "Mr. Nice Guy!" I'm SICK and TIRED of all the squirrels eating the bird food. From now on, my motto is: "THE ONLY GOOD SQUIRREL IS A DEAD SQUIRREL! (any suggestions?) Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Bert
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 11:58 AM

Feed the squirrels.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:05 PM

Thar ya go Bob.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:13 PM

alternatively.......

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Janie
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:20 PM

Tree rats....

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: kendall
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:30 PM

Pellet guns are not very effective against tree rats. They are tough than tripe.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:37 PM

A .22 dispatches a squirrel nicely. Or, Grease the poles. Or put all the birdfood on high stands on steel poles and buy a pitbull.


A

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:38 PM

I LOVE IT! So far, I'm leaning toward the squirrel stew recipe. I have'nt eaten it since I was in high school.

What put me over the edge this morning was that I saw, at first light, a whole family of squirrels out there. Mommy and Daddy squirrel (Mr. and Mrs. of course ... we live in a very uptight neighborhood) were taking turns tossing the youngsters from the ground to the feeder. One of them managed to hold on and started chewing on the twine that held the feeder! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: bubblyrat
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:40 PM

Bring back the "bounty " on squirrels ( although those pesky ,grey,Ammerican things aren"t true squirrels, as we all know )---When I was a boy in the 50s, everybody with a gun or powerful air-rifle shot greys, and handed in the tails for the money ( not very much per tail, but it soon added up if you could shoot quite a few ! )
Mind you, so few people have guns now, it wouldn"t make much difference ! I used to shoot them in the grounds of a big house ,in Henley -on -Thames, with a Harrington & Richardson folding .410, at age 14 / 15 !! A gun -licence was ten shillings ( 50p ) from the Post Office----virtually anybody could get one, as long as they hadn"t had a murder conviction -------but today ?? No chance of having a gun, unless you are a criminal ,of course---apparently, that"s alright !!

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Severn
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:47 PM

Can Bullwinkle make it as a solo act?

If so, then "Open Up them Squirrelly Gates!". Or, more expensively, you gan retain a lawyer and "suet".

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:06 PM

Don't let the price of this one scare you. I've got a Squirrel Buster and it bloody well works, not only for squirels but with roof rats as well. Well worth the price to watch their furry frustration.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: pdq
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:12 PM

Start by getting a light-gauge piece of galvanized sheet steel, about 30-36 inches across. Scribe and cut into a circle, then cut from edge to center. Make center hole large enough to fit around pole holding-up bird feeder. Attach to pole and rivet together. Essentially, you are making a funnel-shaped device with large end facing down. I have made smaller ones for rats that worked quite well.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:13 PM

However, heavier birds such as Stellar's Jays will have to be satisfied with the seed scattered below on the ground by the chickadees. I've got mine adjusted so it will only support small birds such as nuthatches and the like, in order to keep the roof rats out as well.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:14 PM

Alternatively you might do what an Oregon farmer friend of mine did about Canada geese.

Every year they would invade his grain field, eating his hard-won money, making a mess, knocking down the stalks of wheat and the other grains. It infuriated him.

Until one day when he realized that they were really kind of cool and on a gentle slope that was visible from the house. he planted 'the geese's field'. Because it suited their needs even better (closer to a small pond) the geese switched to it and my friend and his wife got a lot of enjoyment for a lot of years out of watching the birds feed.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: bobad
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:15 PM

I solved my squirrel problem by attaching to the pole that holds my feeders, a two foot section of stovepipe with a hole cut into the center of a cap at one end, the open end pointed down. I haven't had a single squirrel get to the feeders in several years now.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:17 PM

Yup...I've solved it..well, 98.3521%...

I have a couple of those simple vertical bird feeders with openings in the side...they have a wire loop at the top. When I first got them, the squirrels would shinny down the chain and chew up the feeders...I took a piece of aluminum siding and poked two holes in it to match the wire on the feeder, then popped the wire out of the feeder, threaded it thru the aluminum..(about a 1 foot square)...and put it back on the feeder (which has a pointy cover).

Now I have a feeder with a roof...a wobbly, wide roof! It hangs from the gutter in front of my picture window by a small chain. The silly squirrels climb down the chain and try everything to figger out how to get around that unstable barrier. I saw ONE actually hang by his back toes, reach WAY down, hook one from paw in the window of the feeder and do a wild swing around so he could catch a hold and hang there awkwardly and steal a few nuts, but usually he just missed and fell to the ground.
   A few times, a more athletic one has made a wild leap from a tree limb or the window to grasp the feeder, but this only works maybe 1 out of 20 times, so they usually just give up.

   I suppose if I made the 'roof' a couple inches wider and hung it all further away from the house, (like on a special pole), I could reduce successful attempts to about zero, but the entertainment value of making it 'almost' possible is worth it!

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:20 PM

The Squirrel Buster works 100%. It is absolutely rodent proof.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:23 PM

You will have to keep the ring clear of ice and snow though, or the weight of the snow will also make it 100% bird proof as well.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: TIA
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:23 PM

I tried all the commerical squirrel-proof feeders, and the funnels, and the dog. Squirrels still won. I can only invest a few hours a week - it is their job 24/7 to outwit me.

But I have won, and here's how...

Get a plastic-bodied feeder with metal perches, some insulated wire, and a battery-powered electric fence energizer.

Run wires from the two electrodes on the fence energizer (hot and ground) to two different (non-contacting) perches.

Birds will sit on one perch only, and not get zapped. Squirrels do their acrobatics and invariably touch the two hot perches simultaneoulsy. 7,000 volts (at 2 milliamps, so completely non-lethal) sends them flying through the air with all their fur standing straight up, and they often lose control of bodily functions mid-flight.

Cruel? possibly
Deserved? maybe
Funny? definitely
Save money on feed? oh, yes

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:28 PM

You won't have to go through such an effort with the Squirrel Buster, Tia. However, it is a Canadian invention, so it may take awhile before the rest of the world catches on. *BG*

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 01:30 PM

Read the reviews on my link above. This ain't bull shit.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 02:30 PM

I have seen video of "The Squirrel Buster" where one squirrel sits and holds the mechanism open while another squirrel eats...then they trade places.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 02:41 PM

Use the right tool for the job, Bob.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: bobad
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 02:42 PM

Keep yer nuts covered.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM

As an affiliate member of the SLA (Squirrel Liberation Army), Deckman, I just want to say this:

If it's war you want, it's war you'll get!!!

Our credo, by the way, is this: "There is no such thing as 'birdseed'. Seeds are seeds. Period. They don't come from birds and they were not intended only FOR birds. The term 'birdseed' is a term only used by human idiots who don't know the real nature of seeds, which come from plants, and are meant to be eaten by anything that likes eating them, squirrels included. WE SHALL PREVAIL!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:09 PM

We have a Code 41 in the post above. Repeat, Code 41.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM

I'm not sure I'd want to get involved in a battle of wits with a squirrel.

A few years ago, I was sitting in my car up in Volunteer Park, about a hundred yards north of the Iron Donut, eating a Burger King "Whopper," drinking a cup of coffee, and enjoying a nice spring day, when I noticed a bit of commotion by one of the waste cans near where I had parked. It was one of those waste cans with a removable dome-shaped top with a sort of flap opening.

Three crows and a seagull were squabbling amongst themselves and were very interested in something in the waste can. I watched a crow hop up and perch on the edge of the can and butt the flap open with its head. Then, a noisy ruckus from inside the can drove it off, and, frustrated, it hopped back down to the ground again. Suddenly the flap flipped open and a squirrel appeared in the opening. It tossed a French fry out on the ground, then disappeared back into the can again. The three crows and the seagull got into a pitched battle over who go the French fry.

A few minutes later, another crow hopped up on the edge and tried to look into the can and once again got driven back. A squirrel appeared, tossed out a French fry, and the Battle of the Birds starts all over again.

What was happening, of course, was that a couple of squirrels (who regularly patrol the waste cans in the park) had discovered a passel of "fast food" that someone had dumped into the can and were having a feast down inside the can. Somehow the birds had also discovered the cache of grub and were trying to steal it from the squirrels (and from each other).

Whenever one of the birds got too aggressive, one of the squirrels (who were working in cooperation) would toss out a French fry, and the ensuing battle would keep the birds busy for several minutes, leaving the squirrels to scarf down the goodies in relative peace.

Those damned things are smart!

But they can be had. Mick Lieb used to buy a couple of those little cellophane bags of Planter's peanuts before going onto the University of Washington campus, and feed the squirrels. He found they could be pretty funny.

One day, one particular squirrel got especially aggressive, grabbing peanuts before the others could get them (Alpha Squirrel, apparently). So the devil sat on Mike's shoulder and made a suggestion. Mike began to smile an evil smile. He tossed the aggressive squirrel an entire bag of peanuts—unopened. With the bag held firmly in its mouth, the squirrel bounced away from the others, headed up a tree with its prize, and ran out on a branch.

Mike watched as, between paws and teeth, the squirrel tugged and yanked at the cellophane bag, trying to get at the peanuts inside. Suddenly success! The bag ripped open! But, horror of horrors, all the peanuts, the entire contents of the bag, rained down through the tree branches, leaving the squirrel holding an empty bag.

Mike said the squirrel jumped up and down on the branch, chattered loudly at him (as close to bellowing in rage as it could get), and shook his tiny fist at Mike.

The squirrel knew it had been had!

That kept Mike snickering for days. He did enjoy the antics of the squirrels.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Ron Davies
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:31 PM

We don't fight any more. I used to be dead against bribery. But now, strongly influenced by Jan, we get ears of dry corn and put an ear in a wire cage such that a squirrel can get one grain at a time--not yank the whole thing out and be gone. And they do in fact sit there and eat them. What's more, downy and red-bellied woodpeckers--and even titmice-- also like the ears of corn.

Of course I had to get metal trash cans to put the ears of corn in--and leave them outside. And fasten down the lid with bungee cords--to keep the raccoons from helping themselves.

This we've learned through trial and--much--errror------it does take planning to stay one step ahead.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:32 PM

Yes, it's fun to test the wits of squirrels. I used to fish for squirrels off the back porch, using peanuts, fishing line, and a rod and reel (no hook though!). I'd cast out a peanut tied to the end of the line, and it would immediately be grabbed by a squirrel. I would then start reeling the squirrel in to see how long he'd hang on to the peanut. They didn't give up easily and they put up a terrific struggle. You could haul them right off the ground into the air and they'd still have a deathgrip on the peanut. It was hilarious. Eventually, though, the squirrel I was having the most fun with figured out how the line worked, and he would simply snip it with his teeth and rush off with the peanut. End of game.

Like you said, they're smart.

I've always had a real affection for squirrels. I don't understand the hostility they seem to arouse in so many people. Besides, they're cute.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:35 PM

Contact these people

from this site.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:41 PM

Wow, cool site! Squirrels...gotta love 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: dianavan
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:54 PM

Set a post in the ground and cover it with stovepipe. Put the birdfeeder on top. This worked for me until the squirrels discovered they could jump from the awning which is about 5' away. Its unbelievable.

Whatever you do, don't try to catch them with a net. My brother and I tried that when we were kids. We not only ruined my dad's salmon net, we had one angry squirrel to deal with. It was a terrifying experience.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 03:55 PM

Do you have a link to that Bill D? I can't quite imagine how a squirrel would accomplish that. Ours can't even cling to the glass tube without sliding, let alone simaltaneously hold the weighted bottom up and the weight of another squirrel to boot. We've had the thing for a year and neither our rats or squirrels have managed to crack it and not for want of trying. First time in 30 years we've had any luck, especially with rats. Maybe were you are, you have the weight lifting Russian squirrels. LOL

They still try to eat the seed scattered on the ground, but the dogs love that rodent adventure.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:05 PM

My particular problem is this: Our BIRD feeder hangs from the corner of our arbor. The squirrels began jumping from the arbor roof to the BIRD feeder roof. So I lowered the feeder by a couple of feet by a strong cord. It only took two hours for the little buggers to start climbing down the cord! Then I said to myself :"MYSELF! Let's do some engineering!"

I took a plastic lid from a three pound coffee can, slit it and slipped it onto the cord. THAT GOT EM! (but only for another two hours).

Now I really am not so much anti-squirrel as much as I am pro-bird. Especially since I've been getting these very poorly written notes slipped under our door, which are mostly bird complaints about their dimishing food supply. (they are terrible spellers).

So, being the cheap SOB I am, I am committed to winning the battle. Besides, there's gotta be a song in here somewhere! Thanks for all your help ... "Bride JUDY" thinks I need to go a meds, but I think she's JUST PLAIN WRONG WRONG WRONG ... DAMNIT! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:07 PM

OK, Got the solution for you, Deckman. Simple, really.

1) Do you have a telescoping flag pole?

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:21 PM

No ... I don't believe in flags.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM

OK. Do you have a telescoping pole to hang socks on?

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:26 PM

I also don't believe in socks!

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:29 PM

But ... if I did believe in socks ... which I don't ... what would your suggestion be? I must appologize for my rudeness, It's just these DAMNED SQUIRRELS HAVE ME SO UPSET!!!! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:40 PM

No apology needed. I was gonna fart around. Best not to just now. However, give a good look to Metchosin's suggestion. The little creatures are going to be dining well for a bit longer, but get one of the things M is talking about and the problem will stop.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:46 PM

AND ANOTHER THING! Just NOW I got my butt chewed out not by one, but by TWO squirrels!!! I was 15 minutes late for their 1:30 feeding!

We have this understanding, or at least I thought we had this understanding, that I would feed at ten o clock in the morning and 1:30 in the afternoon. I was a little late for this afternoons' feeding because it wasn't cooled down enough from the oven yet. Today's menu was supposed to be: Gourmet biscuits, non-gluten flour, extra salt, with just a hint of orange zezt.

Now that I got this chewing out, I think I'll give it to the birds! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:48 PM

You tell 'em, Bob. Don't hold back. Let 'em know what's on yer mind.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 05:42 PM

God knows, squirrels never hold back, do they? Might as well see who can scold longest and loudest.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: robomatic
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 06:12 PM

This is in USA Today AND Fox News, so it's GOTTA be true .....

squirrel birth control

Heard about it today on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me"

I have a squirrel in the roof crawl space. He's not doing my house much good but I don't have the heart to hurt him. It's tough looking for nuts in the snow.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 06:18 PM

Yeah. Tough having them there, too. Cold as a well digger's arse.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 06:28 PM

Speaking of nuts and squirrels, my brother had a surprise one day. It was hunting season and my brother and his companions arrived at his cabin in the mountains. Every year, using baler twine, Bill hung his hunting boots safely from the rafters to keep them from being gnawed by critters until the next season.

This one year when he went to cut them down, he found one boot more than 3/4th full of nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 06:37 PM

"....a plastic lid from a three pound coffee can, slit it and slipped it onto the cord."

You have the idea! Now you just need the wider lid....like my aluminum gadget! They REALLY get mad when they can't quite reach around it far enough. (In bad weather, I make an effort to give the squirrels a special pile of their own)

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 06:47 PM

GEEZE! If I do any more it's 'gonna require a BUILDING PERMIT! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 07:10 PM

...and we know those building inspectors are gonna laugh at THAT one, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: THIS IS WAR!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 07:28 PM

I didn't know they KNEW how to laugh! Bob