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BS: reasons for not marrying
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:27 AM If people think in terms of marrying 'up' or 'down', IMO they have a view of themselves that ain't too healthy. "Oooooh, I am so fecking wonderful that the WORLD will want ME!" Jaysus, gimme a break. Most people, guy or gal, have days they should put their heads in ovens to save the rest of us the angst of their views and opinions. If the opposite sex is a 'chore' for you to relate to on a human level, don't. Listening to people talk about how 'the other sex' buggered up their lives is a pain in the arse. If your relationships went down the tubes for whatever reason, it's likely you too had something to do with it. If you feel you're too intelligent for those around you, and yet you're not intelligent enough to know that then you're doomed to failure in your relationships, then y'ain't as smart as you think you are. Your initial premise was wrong to begin with. The gal who started this thread is extremely bright--certainly my intellectual superior. Doesn't bother me a bit. As to the absolutely stupid idea that only dolts like to cook or take care of the mundane stuff that has to be attended to around the house/home--stop being so bloody childish. No one gets off cleaning the toilet bowl or doing the dishes. It's just stuff that has to be done--regardless of your IQ or self-perceived intelligence. Get over it. And if you don't have the people skills to arrive at a solution that works for both the people in a relationship, then you're too self-absorbed to begin with. The longest journey begins with the first step. If your first step starts with looking for everything wrong about the other person, you're in for a really crappy journey. Thank you for allowing me to get this little rant off my chest. BM |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: GUEST,Joe_F Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:15 AM "Without marriage, there is no divorce. Remember the alimony!" -- Nina Farewell |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:06 AM Splendid idea, 42!!! And, Amos, that was also very well stated, laying out the alternate viewpoint. I should not really have allowed myself to become that annoyed over LadyJean's comments. It's silly to let other people control oneself like that...better to just leave them merrily to their own misperceptions and cherished beliefs. I think, though, that it would be blatantly obvious that keen intelligence is attractive in either gender. It would only be unattractive to someone who was themselves lacking in either intelligence...or some other worthy quality, such as the ability to love with an open heart. I can say of all the women I have ever been much attracted to...they were intelligent. Some were pretty insecure, but they were all notably intelligent. This didn't necessarily mean they looked like your local librarian either. In fact, intelligence generally adds much attractiveness to appearance, specially to the eyes and face. This concept of "marrying up" or "marrying down"...can't really relate to it. I don't believe in it. You marry a unique individual, not a representative of a class. Healthy relationships are based on a sense of equality, not on connecting "up" or "down". |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:01 AM Well, the problem a lot of folks here are having is not understanding the game of marriage. It has different goals, different rules, and different moves, freedoms and boundaries, than the game of living as a single self. When yu try to run amarriage on the rules of the single self sort of game, ito f course sooner or later falls apart. The same thing would happen if you tried to play chess on a Monopoly board. Not only would you mess up the game but you would lose all the greatest pleasures of both games by mixing yourself up so badly. You can get into marrying while you are still trying to figure out the basic rules of play for the Self game and find that neither game works very well. IN the confusion you can also leap to the conclusion that you are messed up and that marriage is a messed up business. Neither being really the case except in opinion. As for playing a game that you really--after taking everything into account-- do not want to play, that doesn't make too much sense, does it? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: 42 Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:22 AM I like the idea of contract marriages...five year term renewable ...release without penalty... The whole concept of remaining with the same person for life is one which I feel sets any partnership up for failure. People change and grow - not necessarily in the same direction. Enjoy the benefits of a solid, loving relationship while it is that, kiss goodbye and keep the memories and the blender without societal censure for "not working hard enough at it". that's what two cents will buy you on the Cat Jen |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: freda underhill Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:08 AM i fall in the camp of not needing a certificate either, nor wish to gain permission from any external body for major decisions in my life. BTW, with all these pesky GUESTS on the scene, I would like to point out that my only anon posting was the original one. and Martin, beware, i may send my good friend Nurse Ratched to visit you one day... ps what IS a tush, anyway? |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Georgiansilver Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:07 AM They tend to look better in the mans socks than the men do too! It does appear from the statements and replies on this thread that there is a big discrepancy between the expectations of women and those of men.....so...the thread itself seems to have given us plenty of reasons for not marrying. A few of the replies have been spot-on. Best wishes, Mike. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: fat B****rd Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:28 AM One thing I know about women. They look better in just their stockings than men do in just their socks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: dianavan Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM As originally posted, "Women in their late 30s who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation are finding that men are just not interesting enough." According to the study, it should follow that BRIGHT men are just not interesting enough to bright women. Maybe bright women should be checkin' out the not so bright guy that likes to cook and clean and feed the animals. Hey, maybe we're on the right track, after all! Seems that society might be moving in that direction, anyway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Metchosin Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:51 AM Come on Little Hawk, a descicated fig? And Bobert's comment about women's "wiring" and the dreaded "sale" doesn't even warrant a raised eyebrow?. Jeez people are touchy. LOL I think I'll just go back to watching the hockey results. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: dianavan Date: 05 Jan 05 - 02:36 AM From the oringinal post - "A high IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married while it is an asset for men..." This is old news. Women often marry 'up', men rarely marry 'up' (financially, as well as intellectually) soooo.... I wonder what that says about our gene pool? btw I think the conclusions of this so-called study are a crock! |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:23 AM And Dianavan, I agree heartily with what you keep saying: "Why marry?" What for exactly? To please other people and meet their expectations? To please a church? I never had any trouble being faithful to a partner and being monogamous. No problem. It comes naturally to me. But why marry??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM Unless, of course, you were being witty and satirical, and lampooning an obviously ridiculuous attitude toward men in your post.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:14 AM You are so tremendously wrong, Lady Jean, that I hope you keep hooking up with just the kind of dumb guys you are complaining about. It would certainly be poetic justice. I haven't heard of anyone as wrong as you since George Bush decided there were WMD's in Iraq. You must have a brain with the agility and grasp of a dessicated fig. I very seldom speak like that to anyone on this forum, but you win the "fecking" prize tonight, if I may use some British slang. I always suspected there were a few real hardcore female chauvinists out there, and you have confirmed that there is at least one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: GUEST Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:20 AM No doubt. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: dianavan Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:14 AM Amos may be right about constant companionship being a result of marriage. But constant companionship can be suffocating as well. There is also plenty of couples who have married but enjoy the benefits of: "...constant companionship, enduring communication and sense of having someone on your side when things get rough in life." So why marry? BTW - I know plenty of lonely women who are married. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:08 AM BOBERT: You are being a bit unfair. This mechanism is called "justification" -- the effort of the irrational half of the mind to make up reasons for its conclusions so they seem rational. But men have as many or more blind spots in need of justification as women do. The response to breasts being one that comes to mind. Others are the instant reactions to the thought of cars, vaginas, touching other men, power tools, Demi Moore, double-bitt axes, schooners, fire-trucks, and black coffee with whiskey in it. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: LadyJean Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:05 AM I have said before and will say again, the scientific term for men who say they like intelligent women is prevaracators. Incidentally, I checked out a bunch of online dating services. I found men my age who weren't married. Most of them were sports junkies, anticipating the playoffs, the superbowl, march madness etc. So, what is it with men and sports? I can't think of a female equivalent. Why are men mesmerized by complete strangers who would charge them fifty bucks for an autographed picture? It boggles the mind. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:43 PM With an IQ slightly above the level of a billy goat, in all probability... |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:39 PM If one this is certain on this thread, it's that the "ugly smart chick" guest above is a smart-ass guy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:34 PM I have heard of Doctor Phil somewhere, Bobert, but I have never seen him. Not once. I know nada about Doctor Phil. The material I drew from to list those 10 qualities of women was... Taoism the Native American Medicine Way Various other sacred traditions. And my own knowledge of human history, culture, and life. And just plain common sense. If I was a woman, I'd be a bit concerned about the poor general selection out there in males right now...but there are always a few good ones around, I figure. :-) Only problem is, those are probably taken already! harpgirl - the Shatner stuff is just done to bug people. Apparently it's working. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:44 PM First of all, forget what Little Hawk said... He's been watching way too much Doctor Phil... Speakin' of Doctor Phil, what a wimp... His wife comes on the show and he's like "yes mam, no mam"... Like whats all thsat supposed to be about??? Answer me that one, L.H..... I know exactly why women don't wanta marry men.... They are friggin' men. Men is some nasty animal. They burp, scratch when ever and where ever they want. They kill each other and, take it from me, God didn't design um' to look too good either... Believe me... I lerant this at an early age taking showers with 'um after gym class. Nasty! Yup, put my butt in a shower room full of womenz, thank you... The only thing that most guys (exempt Martin G, DougR and Biskit here) have going fir them is good wiring. Yeah guys think right. Women don't. Let me give you an example of woman wiring. The dreaded "sale". The woman goes to the department store and buys $200 worth of junk that would have cost $300 if not fir the dreaded "sale"... Now the womanz will come home and tell you that she just saved you $100. Right? This is what I mean about their wirin'... She just cost you $200. Don't take a Wes Ginny Slide Rule to tell ya that yer out a couple hundred bucks... Hmmm, and why is this thread about why womenz don't wanta marry menz, or is it? Aww, nevermind... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Amos Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:44 PM Part of a good marriage is the long-term strength it providers the partners as a result of the constant companionship, enduring communication and sense of having someone on your side when theings get rough in life. Women who are smart and independent may under-value those benefits until they've been around a while, as some men certainly do, and such people end up being smart and somewhat lonely in spite iof having many friends and a few lovers. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: dianavan Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:43 PM What is the advantage? What is the disadvantage? Why bother? |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: GUEST,An Ugly Smart Chick Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:27 PM Well, I am above average intelligence well educated and could marry any man I please. I just haven't found one that I please yet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: GUEST Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:11 PM Well, while the study mentioned only used a sample of 900, statistically for the general population the more intelligent (as measured by I.Q.) a woman is the less likely she is to marry. Additionally and even more statisically verified is that the more education a woman has the less likely she is to be married. This does not hold true for men. The higher the I.Q. the more formally education the greater the chance that they will marry. Not to man bash or woman bash possible explantions 1. Men are less likely to marry smart educated women 2. Women who are intelligent and education are less likely to choose to marry. 3. It is a combination of choice and opportunity. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Kaleea Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:05 PM How about reasons TO get married? I'd sure appreciate having a roadie--someone to carry all of my instruments for me. (not the only reason, but a good one for a puny geezer like me) |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Cluin Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:01 PM 1 thing I know about women: 1. They are all individuals and are just as f__ked up as men are. 1 thing I don't know about women: 1. Why they bother with us men in the first place. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: harpgirl Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:57 PM That's more like it George. Better than that weird Shatner stuff! |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: open mike Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:55 PM if he or she is real smart they will find a way to NOT get sucked into a job that demands their time and energy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 05 - 06:32 PM 10 things I know about women: 1. They are living proof that that which is flexible and yielding, like a willow, is stronger than that which is rigid and unbending, like an oak. (taoist teaching) 2. They are the outer reflection of a man's inner hidden female self. That's why men fall in love with them. 3. They hold up half the sky. (North American Indian teaching) 4. They are the heart of a nation. 5. They are the conscience of a nation. 6. They are the glue that holds a well-functioning society together. 7. They generally only go to war when it's absolutely necessary. 8. They do not tend to confuse courage with bravado. 9. They are the bearers of new life. 10. They are the daughters of God and of Life. As such, they are sacred and ought to be treated accordingly. A fool recognizes none of the above. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM All I can think of is the Rolling Stones: "Satisfaction" or "Under my Thumb". Which do you guys thing would be the right choice of music to play in the background? |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: beardedbruce Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:57 PM To quote Robert Heinlein "All women are beautiful: Some are just more beautiful than others." |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Metchosin Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM you bet it is........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Once Famous Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM Yep, she's OK if you just put a bag over her face............. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM There is no such thing as an ugly woman. Not on this Earth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: GUEST,John in Oz Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:51 PM Okay - here goes. I reckon the studies are coming at it from the wrong angle. I think the reason high IQ women ( possibly should be highly educated )have trouble finding husbands is because they're ugly. Maybe I'll settle on; less attractive. When the attractive teenage girls are going out on dates, dances etc, the overlooked less attractive ones are at home studying. The Muslims had it worked out years ago when they had their women don the burka. It means that even the ugly chicks stand a chance of getting a husband. ( This is the BS section, isn't it ? ) JG/FME |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:47 PM "no, it wasnt intended in any way to be man-bashing - i can do that much more specifically if in the mood." Sure glad it's not ME yer POed at. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Bill D Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:32 PM well...maybe. There were these Russian athletes in the Olympics awhile back... |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:22 PM TEN THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 They are female. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: rumanci Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:15 PM a |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:03 PM I test with a variance of 7 points. Some of the questions are also stupid. 2,4,6,8,___. The tendency of most folks is to answer 10. However, x is a good response, too. f,m,a,m,j,j,___? |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: mack/misophist Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:56 PM The basic informatin in this study is nothing new. I saw it 10 years ago and it wasn't new then. It reflects our cultural norms more than anything else, I think. This current incarnation, however, is organized to provoke gender bashing. And let's not forget that IQ itself is in some disrepute. Also, did they give Stanford-Binet Tests to 900 people to get those results? How did they know? As a teen-ager I tested at 154 but I've never been anything but bright average. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:36 PM By his mum. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Peace Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:11 PM "A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job that is going to take up a lot of his energy and time," she said."In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home, a copy of his mum in a way." This fellow should be located and given heck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Georgiansilver Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM Please ignore Martin Darling! You have worked hard today so I bought you these flowers..oh and dinner is in the oven.(tenderly kisses her on the cheek)......Dream on! Best wishes, Mike. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: Once Famous Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:46 PM Go ahead. Get in the mood. I'll take you on! BTW, please be a dear and get the boys and I some coffee. Nice tush. .........smack! |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: freda underhill Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:28 PM ps for some strange reason, i'm tempted to get in the mood.. however my natural humanitarian impulses have overcome this animal instinct and i have decided today instead listen to music. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: freda underhill Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:20 PM i hereby come out as the GUEST who started this thread. you can guess my reasons for starting it, and for doing so as a guest. great to read the responses, except for the predictable knee-jerk reaction. no, it wasnt intended in any way to be man-bashing - i can do that much more specifically if in the mood. |
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Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying From: fat B****rd Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:59 PM Hey, Big Pink, It must be a North East England thing. All my wives have told me that. |
