Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: GUEST,ClaireBear Date: 19 Aug 03 - 12:13 PM Should I ever be required to don men's clothing and sail awa' on the same vessel on which my fiance has been pressed and shipped away, I shall: 1. Find a more secure way of fastening my jacket than those silver buttons. Note to self: would Velcro hold in a stiff wind? 2. Just in case, wear an undershirt. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM I will check my pistols for water before use. I will not go on holiday with those 6 men from Dorset again. I will not entice beautiful young men home until I am sure that little sneak of a pageboy is off bending his legs somewhere else. I will not visit any former lover, no matter how much they call for me or how sick they are. I will always know the whereabouts of my Willy. Should my Willy disappear, he gets 12 months max, then I'm outta here! I will learn another trade other than weaving, four loom or otherwise. I will keep my glass eye securely fixed at all times. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Willie-O Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:33 AM And oh yeah, if I have a dream foretelling my death in battle, I will be sleeping in the next day. And if Pretty Peggy taunts me to go out and face four hundred armed brigands to get my kye back, I will ignore her and write a braid letter to my Farmers Co-Oppe Insurance Companye instead. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amos Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:21 AM I will not trifle with the King's deer; or at least not in such a way as to get caught. If someone persuades my mother to make a soldier out of me and tries to make me wear a weird hat, I will simply slip away from home in the middle of the night. I will not roam around the streets at night and break the laws of Man. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Willie-O Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:15 AM If I need a shilling, I will borrow it or steal it from a coin collection or something. God help me I might even work for it. I will not accept it from anyone in a snappy red uniform. Polly and I will go for counselling. I will not stay late at Paddy Murphy's wake, and while I'm there I won't be associating with Kelly, his friends, O'Callaghan, Flinigan, Flanagan, or that dirty Andy Burke. O'Leary breaks out the bagpipes, I'm outta there. I will maintain a healthy distance from cannonballs, roaring or otherwise. And I'll NEVER EVER hit seventeen while playing against the dealer. I don't want to wind up on a tow boat again. Just to be on the safe side, I will drop the last letter of my name. Willie-O |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: RangerSteve Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:10 AM If the band starts playing a waltz named after a state, I'm taking my girl outside for a walk until they're through. I'm not seeking my fortune in the city. Or out west. Or across the sea. Or up north. I will not work in the mines or pick crops. I will lay around the shack til the mail train comes back and roll in my sweet baby's arms. I will not court or marry anyone named Nellie or Maggie, their life expectancy's are too short. For that matter, any girl that Stephen Foster writes about is out, with the exception of Nelly Bly. I will not come home drunk night after night, at least not so drunk that I can't tell the difference between a man's head and a cabbage. I am not kissing the cold lips of a dead person. Nor am I going to request that anyone kiss mine. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Rapparee Date: 19 Aug 03 - 08:11 AM When driving a train I'll obey the speed limits, make certain that the brakes work BEFORE leaving the station, and insure that the track ahead is clear. I won't require more of the girl I left behind me than I'm willing to do myself. I'll not spend a lot of time digging for gold before going back to laying bricks. You know, I *will* lay under the junipers and watch the jugs a-fillin'. And I *will* use only hickory, ash, or oak. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: JennieG Date: 19 Aug 03 - 03:22 AM I will not indulge in any wilful grief for Jock of Hazledean. I will take the offered bribes and find another love, one who won't expect me to go over the border and awa' wi' him. I like it here. Cheers JennieG |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: GUEST Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:21 AM if i fall in love with a girl who crosses the ocean...i will follow her instead of remaining behind to pine for her in my whiskey glass, wondering about the ring I gave her. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:01 AM I will drink as much Johnny Jump Up as I like, even if I do reach 100 or 110, which, given the properties of JJU is highly unlikely. I will not take girls called Maggie into the wood for any purpose. I will buy a boat and a canoe before contemplating marriage. I will not restrict my dancing to one particular religious holiday - I'll dance when and where I damned well please! I will not let my love go walking through the dark fair on her own. I will subject any prospective marriage partner to an extensive body search for the 'folorum dingdorum' and associated 'courage'. I will confine my daily excercise to some star jumps and some press ups, indoors, during May. If I do venture out in May, I will avoid all areas dedicated to agricultural pursuits, specifically, meadows of flowers, haymounds, newly or partially ploughed fields or anywhere that nightingales might nest. If walking for excercise I will take with me powder, shot, spare ramrod and a book on the habits of native mammalian fauna. I will ignore everything that lying bastard William tells me. Similarly, I will not do everything my elder sister tells me to do. Breastbones make lousy harps. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amergin Date: 18 Aug 03 - 10:00 PM i'll not name any of my boys sue. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: IvanB Date: 18 Aug 03 - 09:57 PM I'll take no medical advice from any doctor in Wexford. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: LadyJean Date: 18 Aug 03 - 08:10 PM I will never kick a Lambkin. He might be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Remembering my dear mother's rendition of "Bell Bottom Trousers", I will never trust a sailor far above the knee. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Joe_F Date: 18 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM I will never get an unmarried woman in trouble. But if I do, I will not kill her. But if I do kill her, I will be sure to kill the baby too. But if I don't kill him, I will not inform him casually, when he is grown up and fully armed, that I killed his mother. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: georgeward Date: 18 Aug 03 - 11:00 AM If I ever get another job as an engineer, I ain't leavin' no damn monkey sittin' in the driver's seat. "A broad letter, aye? And signed wi' the king's own hand ? Ye'll be lookin' for some ither seaman, laddie, walking the salt sea strand. Patrick Spens, aye? Never heard o' him." |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: GUEST,Paul D Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:47 AM I will stop all o' my ramblin' and roamin'. I will settle down, find a good career, and finish everything I've started (especially all of those words I got too lazy to finish writing, and just ended with an apostrophe). |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: HuwG Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:41 AM If I indulge in courting, I shall do it somewhere other than the kitchen. No matter who invites me to the ball, you won't catch me spending six months learning the steps. If I am handed anything warlike by a recruiting sergeant, be it musket, tin hat, or so much as a round badge for my hat, you will see a blur where I was standing. Thank you, I'd rather keep hold of all of my anatomy, and no doubt any loved ones would like me intact too. Disclaimer; does not apply if one's cousin is called Arthur McBride. If going to a wake, ensure the centre of attention is really dead. (No, I meant proper medical checks, not a stake through the heart). Whisky is too expensive to waste. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: katlaughing Date: 18 Aug 03 - 12:15 AM I will rosin the Beau! **bg** |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Cluin Date: 17 Aug 03 - 09:01 PM I WILL play the Wild Rover. (long as they keep stuffing money in the tip jar) |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Ely Date: 17 Aug 03 - 07:00 PM I'll keep my house securely locked at night lest I find myself the mother of some half-human, half-seal bastard. I won't go out riding with my friend Utah amongst cattle with some stupid blanket flapping off the back of my saddle. I won't get mixed up with boys named "Willie", I WON'T let them lead me over hills and valleys so deep, and I DEFINITELY will learn to distrust them before I'm so far out in the wilderness that there is nobody but the wild birds to hear my screams. If I steal my older sister's boyfriend I won't go walking with her along the seashore. If I'm the youngest of three children I won't let my siblings talk me into drawing straws, taking lots, etc. on ANYTHING. Come to think of it, no good ever comes to third children so if I were one, I should cut my losses and move far away right now. I'll ride old Paints and not strawberry roans. I never will walk by the Brazos no more. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: GUEST,Satan Date: 17 Aug 03 - 11:47 AM I hereby resolve to stay the HELL away from clever little kids, ugly, cantankerous old women and Texas! |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Allan C. Date: 17 Aug 03 - 11:20 AM I'll not bother to date any woman whose mother sleeps with a dagger (silver or otherwise). If I ever get back to Bimini, I'll avoid the rum. It might be okay to marry an older woman; but there's no way in hell you'll ever catch me wearing a bunch of blue ribbons on my head! I'll never be one to court too slow(ly). I'll shoot no deputies (not that I ever did). |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: RangerSteve Date: 17 Aug 03 - 10:11 AM I will return to the old home before I get old, and before all my friends and family are dead. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Rapparee Date: 17 Aug 03 - 09:22 AM I will no longer conduct seances in Laredo. I will stay out of cantinas when I'm in El Paso. I will eschew Galveston in hurricane season. Come to think of it, I will stay completely away from both Texas and New Orleans. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Aug 03 - 05:34 AM I shall stay indoors on May mornings. I shall refrain from drinking cider out of the vat. I shall not accept any shillings, even if offered by royalty. I shall not tie flora, bits of trees or ribbons about my person. I shall not employ Sid Kipper, in the unlikely event I should become a pharmacist. I shall not attempt to drown felines, nor shall I carry their remains around with me. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: GUEST Date: 17 Aug 03 - 03:46 AM if I ever find a girl in san francisco and take her in my arms...well I'd want to see her in daylight first... |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Mark Cohen Date: 17 Aug 03 - 03:19 AM I will never let you begin. (See Tom Lehrer thread.) Aloha, Mark |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: katlaughing Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:34 AM I promise to stay off the damn horse so I can see my mother in the Fall when the work's all done. If I am little and named "Joe," I will stay at the back of the herd and let the other more experienced Wranglers turn the stampeding herd. I promise not to bury you on the lonely prairie. I shall mention Aunt Clara at every opportunity! If I have found true love in the Red River Valley, I shall not go. If my name is Charlie, I won't get on the MTA. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Bert Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:21 AM If I was frog I'd leave that mouse alone no matter how cute she is. I will not court a girl that lives on the other side of a river. If I had a hammer I'd only use it when I needed to hit something and not go banging it around just because it's the morning, or the evening or whenever. If I was a blind Grandmother I'd tie Eileen to the damned spinning wheel. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Mudlark Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:16 AM I will never let any lad steal my thyme. I'll never sail on a ship called the Lily of Arkasnsas, or in any ship that has 4 and 20 sailor lads to box it about the main. In fact, I'll go to sea no more. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: akenaton Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:59 PM Never invite a redhead in black leather to get up behind... |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Rapparee Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:52 PM No matter how much Elsid Barrett cries, I'm not shipping on the Antelope. Screw the grand city hall in New York! Let them get their own bricks and such truck! I'm not marching anywhere with Arthur St. Clair. Red-haired girls can go the Dingle Fair with someone else. If I'm named Annie, I'm staying in tonight and not leaving my own pretty garret. And frankly, I'd rather have a parrot than a man. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: harvey andrews Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:41 PM I will not visit any house in New Orleans. Particularly if I have to go by train. I will not call darkness my friend again. I will never eat parsley, sage, rosemary or thyme at Alice's place. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Gareth Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:30 PM I will not go down the dark dreary mine. I will not take the foremans job. If of English descent I will not drink from a bottle of Bitter Ale handed to me by a Welshman at Twickenham. I will not drink in the Conservative Club at Crumlin. And I'll never walk down Lime St., anymore. Gareth |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Aug 03 - 06:47 PM Since the water is wide, I will not cross over. I will have a drink instead, and then I will sing some more. And then I will have a little lie-down. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: twag Date: 16 Aug 03 - 06:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amergin Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:22 PM will never fall in love with anyone named Lily.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:17 PM It's carefull love for me from now on |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amos Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:14 PM I will never make myself emotionally dependent, especially on a woman, especially on a woman with a serving-man, and especially on a woman named Barbara. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Rapparee Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:07 PM If my name is Vandemeer and I'm young, I'll go to grief counseling. I'll go somewhere besides Louisville to find my fortune. I think I'll skip going to St. James Infirmary. I'm not going to mess around with anyone named "Nancy," especially if her last name is "Whisky." I don't really care where all the flowers have gone. I'm going to skip the mining stuff and go right to the clams. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Mudlark Date: 16 Aug 03 - 04:26 PM If I live on the Carson Valley plain, and my name rhymes with yarrow, I'll eschew all horseback riding. If I'm ever queen I'll make sure just who, exactly, it is I'm giving my confession to. I'm never going to NY because the people there just treat you mean. I'll keep the candle lit. And stay away from the Butcher boy... |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amos Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:34 PM If he comes at me with a big jackknife, I will get out of the way rather than go at him with lead. I will observe maximum speed recommendations on any roads on which I am an engineer, regardless of schedules. Saftety comes first. I will not yelll "Fire! in a locked building. When going strange countries for to see, I will communicate regularly to my loved ones at home so they will not feel they have lost me. IF a captain offers me great rewards for sinking an enemy ship I will require he open an escrow before leaping overboard to fulfill my end of the bargain. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:08 PM And most emphatically I never will play the wild rover no more. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Marion Date: 16 Aug 03 - 12:35 PM Nice stuff, folks. I will not attend a wedding in Glasgow town unless I have a formal written invitation. I will consider all the possible implications of my cabin boy's graceful figure, smooth cheek, and bright countenance. If I learn that the boy I love is in fact my father's illegitimate son, and that the only other person who knows is my father and he's anxious to keep it a secret, I will just go ahead and marry the lad. Who's going to know? But when I am young, I will never wed an old man. Marion |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Jeri Date: 16 Aug 03 - 12:07 PM Never walk river banks If there's a grave there, looking ready For you know the odds don't look too good Never court a fair ladye If her family looks too shady You'll likely wind up dead like in a ballad In all the coffee houses down along main street All the blood of the centuries comes gushing out in song If it starts out 'come all ye', you know you'd better watch it 'Cause it's gonna get real messy and you know it won't be long Sorry... |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Leo Condie Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:57 AM stop lending ears. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Dave Swan Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:46 AM I will not poach the stag, the doe, the hare, nor the lofty pheasant. Before loosing an arrow I will make certain that my target is indeed a swan. I will not shoot aprons. I will not drink on credit. |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: CET Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:37 AM Should the oversexed and lonely wife of a rich nobleman attempt to seduce me, I will not go home with her in public on a high holiday, on the very best day of the year. In the unlikely event that said rich nobleman gives me one of his swords and invites me to strike the very first blow, I will damn well kill him. Edmund |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: Amos Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:34 AM These are a crackup!!! 1. I will limit my response to gamblers' insults about my fiancee's picture to verbal remarks and will leave the table intead of getting violent. 2. I will manage my anger. 3. If a rival talks to my loved one down in a valley, I will ask her about it later. I will recognize that emotional and physical extremes will not restore lost friendships. 4. I will learn how to recognize the sort of person one cannot count on. 5. I will not come in to anyone's saloon while the games are going on. 6. I will leave those downtown women alone. 7. I will not go down to the bottom and never come up even if the river turns out to be whiskey. I will realize I am NOT a duck. 8. I will not lead a squad of pikes and scythes against a fully equipped division of the British Army. 9. If I am riding on the prairie and am accosted by three armed troopers, I will not choose to fight rather than surrender, realizing that even with a twenty year sentence I will be out in five on good behavior. 10. I will not get a .38 from a pawnshop no matter what my girlfriend says she wants. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters From: curmudgeon Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM i will not eat eggs and marrowbone. |