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BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
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Subject: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 01 Dec 04 - 06:44 PM Hey chaps, a new, cleaner, fluffier Tavern has opened up, and is waiting to serve you. The tree is still in the yard, but the boxes of trimmings are out of the loft and waiting to be dusted off and placed lovingly around the place. There is wine mulling by the fire, cider cooling out the back, real ale foaming in the wassail bowl, and for lager drinkers, the pipeline from the gents will be clear in about an hour. The Chieftans are playing 'The bells of Dublin' (or is it the Dubliners playing 'The bells of Chieftans?) in the background and Bing is warming up the vocals for the 14th rendition of 'White Christmas' and that's just this evening! Come on in, pull up a stool and settle in for the duration. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MMario Date: 01 Dec 04 - 06:53 PM In a prominant location - secured to its pedestal with a chain of iron links heavy enough to anchor the Titanic - is a thick photo album - titled "MudCat Christmas Tavern - 2003 - Memories" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 01 Dec 04 - 07:05 PM You made it! Well done... stop playing with those naughty posh people and come and give us a tune. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: SINSULL Date: 01 Dec 04 - 07:18 PM I don't like "fluffy". Reminds me of dirty bunny slippers and aggravates my allergies. Bah Humbug! That said...what can I do to help out? And where is the Jack Daniel's and Bert's credit card? Used mine up on the bourbon balls. OK. Nice quiet booth in the corner. No ducks. And a clean glass. Shall I get out my Jell-O Shots recipe for the pit? I thought Cherry - a nice Christmas red. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rapparee Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:00 PM Sorry about the little accident with the flamethrower/disinfectant sprayer. I left it outside in the powder magazine. I'd play my trumpet and sing, but with this flareup of dental trouble I can't buzz a mouthpiece and the swelling isn't at all swell. At least the new antibiotics seem to be doing a good job. So I can't drink and I can't play and I can't sing and I'm in pain because the dentists can't do a root canal job until the swelling goes down. What's left...pain...oh, hell, man, I've got Vicodin!!! (From a pharmacy, not from the Internet) Yes! If I live till tomorrow, it'll be a long song And I'll live out my life on hydrocodone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:24 PM And you'd better nudge the squid out of the hot tub and head him toward the beach. I think he'll enjoy the company down there better (though he sure seemed to enjoy YOUR company, Rapaire--maybe he knew you were a little under the weather and was offering the equivalent of a squid hug?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Tinker Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:49 PM Okay clear all the critters out of the tub, it's my turn to soak and float..... I could use a long shot of an old bourbon...Did you find any behind the bar yet SINSULL ??? I'm looking for something gentely aged and mellow. Ahhhhhh just a little lower and that jet will be in just the right spot... Yes. Oh someone make sure I'm out of here in time to get the horde off to school in the morning. Is the time warpped door still in place behind the bar??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: SINSULL Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:49 PM Looked to me like he was trying to suck the infection out of R's gums (or the life out of his body). Whatever! The end result was that our little ten legged friend got a healthy dose of painkillers and is being led on a leash down to the beach and out of harm's way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rapparee Date: 01 Dec 04 - 09:56 PM I've got a healthy dose of painkillers! Whoopee! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: SINSULL Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:09 PM I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts. Here they are a standing in a row... Stream of consciousness...sorry. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: moonglow Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:28 PM Wow, I actually got here before most of the holiday rush. *pours herself a glass of cider, moves over to the corner, pulls out a batch of papers and begins writing furiously, muttering something to herself about 'bloody essays' and Huckleberry Finn* (not much going on, might as well get some homework done...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST,Santa Cruz Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:34 PM Yo! Whassup, you Mudcattin' mofos? It is I, Santa Cruz, in from Santa's |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rapparee Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:58 PM Isn't Christmas supposed to bring joy to everyone, grownups, near-grownups, non-grownups, and squids alike? Why are we engaging in cephalopod prejudice? Just because the poor thing outweighs a small truck (or lorry), has tentacles with suckers that have teeth, and doesn't have a backbone doesn't mean that it doesn't have feelings! Why, almost every squid I've ever met is far and away more intelligent that any politician you can name and usually far more useful, too. Be kind to your ten-footed friends For a squid might be somebody's mother Be kind to your friends in the deep Where you never, no never, can peep.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Amos Date: 01 Dec 04 - 11:10 PM Cephalopods suck, and that's deep. But I do hope your teeth become less swell. Perhaps you have been smiling too much? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 02 Dec 04 - 12:34 AM Whoa! Did you see THAT? MMario put up a sign on the bar that said "calamari lunch special" and Mr. Squid was suddenly a mile away down at the beach, last seen slithering into the sea foam. I didn't know squids could read! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MBSLynne Date: 02 Dec 04 - 02:52 AM Heloooo?.....Oh....you all got here before me! Why didn't anyone tell me they were leaving the 2003 tavern? MMario, Cluin...I odn't think it was very nice leaving me there cleaning up by myself...that thing in the fridge was getting too bloody friendly!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Maija Date: 02 Dec 04 - 03:44 AM Ok, where's the bottle of rum? Need to make them Chrissie chocolates now, so I can get to batch 2 and 3 this weekend... *ages later* It is really hard to get those flaming little bastards into the godforsaken tiny paper cups. I think I'll have jhust anoffer one, saves a lot of work. Anyone else up for one? Note to self: less alcohol next time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 02 Dec 04 - 03:49 AM Have you got the jello pit cleaned out yet? I got a tanker load of cranberry jelly outside. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 02 Dec 04 - 04:24 AM Settled into a large and comfortable armchair by the blazing real log fire. Someone handed me a pint of something called "That Stuff". As they say around here 'kinell. The whole of Christmas in one glass and so thick it had to be chewed. That could have been something to do with the squid of course, he seemed quite partial to it which is probably why he was led away. Didn't go quietly though. Never knew that squids knew the dirty version of British Grenadiers. Now the hubbub has died down a bit the booze and the fire seem to be working their old magic and I may just let myself drift off for a little snoo....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: My guru always said Date: 02 Dec 04 - 06:31 AM Thump.. Scuffle... Thump... Meeeooowww... Thump.. Prrraarrppp!! Scritch... Thump... CRAAAASSHHHH!!!!! Claws desperately searching for purchase on the clean bar-room floor, a very surprised MadCat slides inelegantly over to the kitchen door. Well, really! Fancy putting in a Cat-Flap that only lets a Kitty out..... Anyone would think they didn't want us Cats in here! Hmmm, not started roasting in the kitchen yet I see. These little fresh cream chocolate truffles are yummy (hic), but the bits of paper get stuck in teeth and are the very devil to spit out. It's all a bit tidy in here, where's that spitoon? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MBSLynne Date: 02 Dec 04 - 07:20 AM Well I'm up for one Maija...whatever it is.... Can we have WARM cranberry jello in the jello pit please? Don't fancy cold at this time of year. That squid didn't look very well last time I saw it....don't have too much of what he had. If I catch him I can say "Here's the sick squid I owe you"...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: el_punkoid_nouveau Date: 02 Dec 04 - 08:38 AM In comes I, little epn Logs on my back, all tied again To place upon the yule tide fire MUMMY WATCH THE FLAMES GET HIGHER! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MMario Date: 02 Dec 04 - 08:46 AM Sorry guys, but I've got to do it at least once... *puts BRAND NEW CD (!) in player* *clears throat* a-hemm! This is my latest CD! (hope the links work!) 1) GLOUCHESTER WASSAIL - 1:32 2) WE BE WISEMEN THREE - 1:12 3) O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM - 1:16 4) WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED - 2:24 5) THE WINTER CAROL - 0:50 6) IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER - 1:14 7) DRIVE THE COLD WINTER AWAY - 1:47 8) OH HOLY NIGHT - 2:37 9) CHILDREN GO WHERE I SEND THEE - 5:36 10) ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH - 2:16 11) 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - 2:03 12) IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR - 1:53 13) THE FIRST NOEL - 1:28 14) SILENT NIGHT(S) - 3:34 15) ADESTE FIDELES - 1:27 16) NEW YEAR'S TOAST - 1:11 17) TINY TIM'S BLESSING - 0.02 me and a bunch of friends...featuring "Duke" Norsworthy as 'tiny tim' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Mrs.Duck Date: 02 Dec 04 - 12:14 PM Slipping in the back door as a brief respite from Christmas shopping. Someone hands me a steaming glass of Glugg and I sit close to the roaring fire next to a man roasting his nuts. He offers me one but I politely refuse. I explain last time I had one of those my tooth broke and couldn't get to a dentist as he was busy in the Mudcat chat room. I ended up on painkillers so strong that I completely missed Easter and didn't want the same thing to happen to Christmas. I returned to sipping my Glugg and he carried on with his nuts. We didn't speak again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Geoff the Duck Date: 02 Dec 04 - 03:24 PM Yaaawwwnnnn!!!!!!!!!! BLINK..... "Gawd - you lot move fast! I just closed my eyes a second ago, didn't I?" Oh Quack!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Geoff the Duck Date: 02 Dec 04 - 03:26 PM Bit smoky in here though! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MBSLynne Date: 02 Dec 04 - 05:27 PM Look out!!! The nuts are scorching!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rapparee Date: 02 Dec 04 - 06:15 PM Just take some more Vicodin, obtained legally from the pharmacy, and you won't care.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Dec 04 - 06:22 PM Hi All! Are we going to have a Panto this year? Due to old age and informity, I don't think I can play Baron Hardup this year.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Geoff the Duck Date: 02 Dec 04 - 07:04 PM Yaaawwwnnnn.... Strettccchhhh....... "Oh - I see - it's getting on towards Fishmas again is it?" I expect I'd better start practicing Silent Night on the Bombarde..." "I've been dozing since the last one. Did that squid get home safely? I gave him a bus timetable, but he seemed to be having trouble working out the Quarter-Hours last time I saw him...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: open mike Date: 02 Dec 04 - 07:16 PM Huzzah, Mario! great music for the occasion! and check the carols for sceptic thread for other tunes.. or is is carols for septics? speaking of which have we had the place here inspected by the health dept? warm gelatin? isn't that what they use in laboratories to grow cultures of oogly thingies? agar agar petri dishes...well as long as we put a bit of Thuja oil or eucalyptus or Tea Tree oil or bubble bath in the hot tub it might counteract any germs. and speaking of fermented things....I'll take a bit of that hard cider!! and here is a batch of peppernuts.. feffernussen....anise cookies....yum yum...careful..they are crunchy...if you've got dental probablems, you can just suck on them like my toothless old uncle used to do. dont' get any ideas now.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST Date: 02 Dec 04 - 09:06 PM Mudcat Tavern season doesn't officially begin until its founder, the venerable LEJ signs on and takes up his usual position. Maybe he will bring the ghosts of old Bill Lee and wife Joan with him to perform Bill's (in)famous "William Tell" trick, a highlight of the holiday and not to be missed by the kiddies... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Dead Horse Date: 02 Dec 04 - 09:59 PM New. Cleaner. Fluffy. I dont holds with all this new fangled stuff. It aint..........traditional. I kinda liked the old place, complete with its various holes & creeping thingies..... I might try the real ale, but aint too sure about *foaming*. Last time I did *foaming* was just before the barium enema! That reminds me, where is this chap Bill gonna stick his apple? Only I've got me trusty 12 bore ready in case of carol singers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 02 Dec 04 - 11:29 PM Dead Horse, it is the same old place, for all intents and purposes. It's just "beside itself" with pleasure over being so clean and tidy. If you go down the hall and through that coat closet you'll see the Mudcat Recovery ward, but be quiet or you'll disturb Nurse Ratched. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MAG Date: 03 Dec 04 - 12:08 AM Personally, I like clean. It gets me away from my house. I'm still eating stuffing casserole from (just) last week. I hate to feel rushed into Midwinter already, but then, I do love those carols. There's a bunch in the Christmas Revels Songbook which I do not know. Ahh, there is a piano over in the corner to go pick out the tunes ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rustic Rebel Date: 03 Dec 04 - 02:35 AM Mudcat Christmas Tavern The lights were flashing so brightly I thought I would have a hernia in my eye. Who could drive by a sign so well hung, and so entertainingly displayed in the middle of bum-fuck North-south-east-west polar rightness. Staggering in, already half baked, I wander in from the northern door. I see a wonderful assortment of people already starting to celebrate a holiday and I want to celebrate too. I have to wander the tavern to find just the right bar stool and then I had to move it down to the end of the bar where I could watch the Northern door. I was waiting for a friend to arrive with his electric washboard. Said he would meet me here. I'd like to buy the next round bartender!! Do we have a bartender? hell, set us all up with a shot of choice!! I need to start a tab. Why is the christmas tree hanging from the rafters? Is this some kinda Andy Warhol party? Well I can dig it. Tequila and plum for me, Mister Barkeep and keep them coming until I find a place to fall down by the fire, please. Oh, one more thing, if the squid is done I would like a morsel to eat before I really get fucked up, okay? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MBSLynne Date: 03 Dec 04 - 02:48 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rustic Rebel Date: 03 Dec 04 - 02:53 AM MBSLynne was speechless |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 03 Dec 04 - 03:58 AM .... I don't know, you close your eyes for a few seconds and someone tries to steal your nuts. Hey you, door watcher, I know you're pissed but stop trying to cook the friggin' squid, he's just trying to get home. You try walking after eight pints and no bones in your legs. Have a mince pie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: chris nightbird childs Date: 03 Dec 04 - 04:07 AM Alright, alright Sorcha, I'll have a pint! Oak! Get yer 'and off me bleedin' knee... fresh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Ellenpoly Date: 03 Dec 04 - 04:13 AM Hmmm, just peeking in the door for the moment. I had a pretty rough time in here last year. The crowd looks friendly enough, though I do think someone should wake up that guy with the burning nuts... Nothing too crazy yet this year. I'd love to come in out of the cold and have a nice hot chocolate and sing some songs... Guess I'll wait a bit. I don't think everyone is here yet, and the mood is still in the making. Back later, folks. Save me just the tiniest piece of space by the fire (and not too close to the burning nut man) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MBSLynne Date: 03 Dec 04 - 05:08 AM Rustic Rebel I tried to say "OOOOOOOh yes, I'll have a brandy alexander please!" but it wouldn't let me speak! Gagged by a bloody virtual landlord!!! *sulk. Don't know if I want to come in here.... (Come on then somebody...persuade me! Pleeeease!) And Chris...Oak isn't here yet, do you mind if I put my hand on your knee until he gets here? Then we can all put our hands on each other's knees....just need Skippy and Bassic too..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: pixieofdoom Date: 03 Dec 04 - 05:54 AM I fear that catflap may have been sealed to stop Jack getting in. Pesky pups already drunk all the sherry we were saving for Santa said some things that I wasn't entirely sure were in keeping with the festive season. Anyway, it would be best for all if he could be kept out of here, I hate cleaning vomit out of the fireplace on Christmas Eve.................Any of that foaming stuff left? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Leadfingers Date: 03 Dec 04 - 06:31 AM I was going to look in last night ,but the virtual motorway was solid with virtual traffic doing four virtual miles a virtual hour ,so I went home sober . This is only a flying visit for a quick Irish Coffee before tonights gig . Oh Life is HARD !! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 03 Dec 04 - 07:08 AM The virtual fog was the problem Tel. Would you like something in your Irish coffee and tell me, please, where in Ireland do they grow the bloody stuff. Trying to get served is becoming a problem as some moustachioed fool is laying behind the bar and trying to get at the drip trays. Oh, it's only Skipy. That's all right then. The bartender's back now, having trouble with his wassail. No that's two people in a bar not two beats in a bar. Waddya mean there's no deadbeats in your bar. HA!!! You let me in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: InOBU Date: 03 Dec 04 - 07:31 AM After turning down a gig to endorce Quaker Oats, the band Sorcha Dorcha, with Lorcan Otway, blows into the tavern, huge santa like bags of instruments to abuse. We are out of breath, as Amanda and Lorcan have had to run from an anti Amish mob, who can't tell the difference between Quaker and Amish plain dress... (there is the yearly evangelical KKK anti Amish riot which is held every year in honnor of the birth of the prince of peace, generally at a loss to stone anyone, as it is held in Rhienbec New Mexico, where there aren't many Amish, but there was this big Celtic Progressive music blow out concert... and DAMN but can't them crackers run even in those bed sheets!!!) Also out of breath is third band member Dick Cheney, who even though he is tall thin and red haired, both red and blue voters took him for the VP of the USA, and half the crowd wanted to try him for war profiteering, the other half wanted to ask for his autograph, shake his hand and lick his face for good luck. Amanda sets her bonnet straight, Lorcan pops the dents out of his broad brimmed hat and head, and Scott "Dick" Cheney glues his guitar back together and they launch into their new turned on version of Good King Wnsceslaus, while the band's monkey passes the tin cup, which becomes filled with an odd mixture of bear, rice wine, whiskey and religious tracts. The monkey downs the lot and passes out. Cheers Lor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: MMario Date: 03 Dec 04 - 08:44 AM 'Good King Wenceslaus' on uilann pipe? Wierd - but oddly effective... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Dead Horse Date: 03 Dec 04 - 09:01 AM I warned ya about carols in here! (donates both barrels from shotgun) P.S. Said shotgun is loaded with peppercorns, in mistake for rocksalt. Peppered behinds will, henceforth, abound! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 03 Dec 04 - 10:26 AM "the band's monkey passes the tin cup" Shameless exploitation of a fellow primate! Mind you, I didn't know that monkeys could drink so much. Worse than squids. Is that the correct plural or should it be squid? Seems to be a lot of noise coming from the big round table in the middle, sounds mechanical. Oh no someone's let King Arthur and his knights in, or wait is it, yes, it's the Herga mummers on tour complete with clanking tankards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too.... From: Rapparee Date: 03 Dec 04 - 10:32 AM Does that include my cousin, Carol? Now your peppering everyone and everything has put tiny little holes in the woodwork. This would normally let woodworms in, but the pepper will keep them out. So I guess it's just a case of instant antiqueing of the place. Don't forget though that I'm packin' two of Sam Colt's finest, both of 'em Walkers and I'm dead accurate with 'em. And this here star pinned to my chest gives me the authority to 'rest you. (I really should pin that star to something besides my chest sometime, I think. It's actually quite painfull and fairly bloody.) Jist remember the old story: One riot, one Ranger. |
