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BS: Devil's advoCats
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Subject: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:09 AM This is not necesarily a non-music thread, but my idea is to provide some of the more entertaining aspects of flaming guests, without needing intrusions to do that, and to go about it in a more civilised way. Music topics might be a Defense of Accordians, or The Benefits of Playing out of Tune, or isn't Rap great, or I don't know, If music be the food of love, shut up, etc. Non-music might be Why I love schmaltzy Hollywood Crap--anything that seems to be a minority position, the un-paragigms of general discourse. One that gets me is an unspoken attitude that somehow death is a fate worse than death. Smart and healthy choices make me sick, daily news updates on how to live longer... I'd rather die before doctors find a way to make me live forever. If people spent more time on how to live in a satisfying way, and not how to grab at dirty crumbs of existence, then... then that would be time better spent. It would seem to me that embracing death as part of life would be a smarter, healthier choice. I also favor child-labor. Trying to entertain kids seems to make monsters of them. If you can give them a job they can do, they get along much better. Musically I'm getting interested in a hip-hop sampling approach to some folk tunes--it's not new, people have always done it, but trying to get a passing familiarity with hip-hop and rap has given me a new perspective on the tradition of manual sampling and borrowings. And I'm recycling some music that I grew up with, that I'd be too embarrassed to play without quotation marks, by writing stuff that sounds a little like it, or obliquely calls it to mind, the way soundtrack scores tend to sound a little familiar at first hearing. Some of it falls into the zone of an approximate way of playing a tune--playing a version of a tune with accidentals, but on harmonica, without the accidentals, and over different chording. Please add any odd thing here that you can advocate in fun or earnest or some mix of the two. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: GUEST Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:19 AM It's getting to be a bit dated now, but you might enjoy a book & CD called "Sounding Off: Music as Subversion/Resistance/Revolution" which is edited by Ron Sakolsky & Fred Wei-Han Ho. I agree that hip hop ideas are interesting, but from the poetry side, I can tell you it gets pretty tiresome, pretty fast. I was a judge at last year's National Poetry Slam. One can only take screaming, angry male rap and hip hop rhyme bustin' for so long... I speak from experience when I say that five days of it is too long. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: gnu Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:29 AM Mark Twain on exercise : "If you're healthy, you don't need it and if you're sick, you shouldn't take it." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: GUEST Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:52 AM BTW Fred, my recommendation isn't as crazy as it may sound on first suggestion. There are a couple of good essays in the book, including one by Anthony Seeger titled "Singing Other Peoples' Songs". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:15 AM I didn't think it sounded crazy, and my sister can probably lend it to me. I got interested by reading her thesis on African performance art and rap. Thanks. Still, I'm fishing for unlikely observations and opinions, so crazy would be welcome anyway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:27 AM Oh, Annamil's lingere site reminded me of an odd idea I heard once--lesbian-butt. Someone I worked with always had a gender theory for every occasion, and said he wasn't surprised when Ellen Degeneres came out, because she always had that sort of lesbian butt. I was about to tell him he was, as usual, nuts, but I... um, paused, and shrugged. hm. Does it exist? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:41 AM Only in some offensive pencil-dicks' heads and I ain't talking about the ones that sit on their shoulders! Good grief what an assinine thing to claim! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Mr Red Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:47 AM dare I mention the Devil's Advocatt - what a hangover that gives!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:47 AM Well, it makes as much sense as nineteenth century bump-reading on skulls, and numerological mysticism, and sending prayers into prisms so they reach further, or asking God under your breath to change the contents of a letter you are about to open (oh, God, don't let it be an audit notification!)... If "gayness" (gawd wotta term) is gene-driven as some people prefer to believe, maybe there is a buttock signature for it? I wouldn't know what it is, myself, of course. Haven't studied the material. But seriously, Kat, I'm jes' funnin' yeah. I think the Butt Theory is Ass-inoid, to be sure. :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 22 Feb 03 - 01:23 PM The notion of a woman's butt signifying lesbian-ness made me laugh but then I suddenly remembered what a friend of mine told me. She drives a tour bus and one day she had a full passenger load of lesbians that had come into town on a cruise ship. As they were going down the road, my friend announced into the microphone that she was one of 'them'. They laughed and cheered, and then one said, We already knew- you have a cute butt. hmmmmmm? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 22 Feb 03 - 01:29 PM Well a lesbian I know told me she looks for the presence of Birkenstocks (in the proper season of course). ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: CarolC Date: 22 Feb 03 - 01:41 PM For my arguments in favor of accordions, please see the photos of me, naked, with only my accordion (and in one of the pictures, ribbed stockings and a fedora hat) in the 2001 and 2002 Mudcat Nearly Nude Calendars. (That, plus accordions are the coolest of all the instruments. And sexy, too. Did I mention that accordions are sexy?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 22 Feb 03 - 01:48 PM Don't they pinch your nips, Carol? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: CarolC Date: 22 Feb 03 - 01:56 PM Not telling Cluin! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 22 Feb 03 - 02:14 PM Ahhhhh, THAT's why they're sexy, eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: CarolC Date: 22 Feb 03 - 02:49 PM I guess you'll just have to get one and find out for yourself, eh Cluin! |
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Subject: lesbian butt From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Feb 03 - 03:01 PM A Case for Lesbian Butt? When I was a teenager, guys used to claim they could tell if a girl was "experienced" from the shape of her butt. I'd not be so crass as to claim any direct knowledge of this, but could it not be postulated that certian activities tend to "perk up" certain muscles, muscles which could not be exercised without heterosexual "activities". Someone who even subconciously sees similarities among the butts of women she ultimately feels affection for might learn to associate this similarity with sexual attractiveness. ie Lesbians exercise diferent butt muscles, ultimatly leading to a different butt shape, ultimately leading womwn attracted to lesbians to be attracted to that shape. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: TIA Date: 22 Feb 03 - 03:23 PM Birkenstocks eh? I've always thought that I might be a lesbian trapped in a man's body. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 22 Feb 03 - 03:27 PM Sorry, JacktS, but Besides which, I know from experience as a bi-sexual, that plenty of lesbians and bi's have their hearts broken, when they find out the person they fancy is hetero. One can't always tell whether someone is gay, hetero, lesbian, bi, or anything in between. Trying to define sexual preference by body shape is just silly. kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 22 Feb 03 - 03:58 PM Kat: I don't think you left much room for anything in between!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 22 Feb 03 - 04:39 PM Hell, CarolC... me playing any instrument could never be construed ans anything approaching sexy. So I'll just take your word for it. Still thinkin' about that nipple-pinching thing though... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 22 Feb 03 - 05:35 PM You'll never know, Amos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 07:19 PM Well, I thought it was crazy too, but...t... I supposed that the feminine hetero butt is partly a reified fashion statement, the heart-shaped butt of high-waisted jeans--the various butt types which I shouldn't list until the publication of my North American field-guide--which if merely neglected, not striven for, results in an unaffected look, i.e. lesbian butt. And it is truely weird to look at how people can mold themselves to the fashions of their culture and times, can project themselves, variously, so, I let that one pass. If nothing else, it's funny. Oddly, my other co-worker at the time was a lesbian woman who was deeply predjudiced against bi-sexuals, because--here's the devil's thesis--because they HURT twice as many people. I thought for a moment (I'm slow with math) then said Are you sure they're working a double-shift? She felt she had been dumped because it was simply easier for her girlfriend to be straight. Guest, I had wanted to ask you how, particularly, the ideas in hip-hop were interesting to you, what you do with them. I've had an extended crisis about what to listen to, what to play, because many things I really like I can't quite identify with playing, can't do it--old art-rock folk-rock stuff I grew up with, things that seem laminated in a yellowing commercial plastic film, I guess. I'm finding I can use elements I like to write my own tunes more, and actually better, than by trying to be flat-out "original" (which winds up just as if I had borrowed and stole anyway, but more tortured, and lamer). And I also wanted to say that I think the deadening sameness of rap might be a result of the heavy commercialization of it, it became a sales formula really fast, which is unfortunate. I can't really claim I like it, hard as I try, but some is very funny, which is hard to manage. Oh, and Twain on exercise. Maybe it figures that his was the first biography I ever read. I hate all the stuff about exercising to be healthy. Hooray for that crap. As if there was nothing worthwhile to actually do in the world, we should all be doing fake work in the interest of living longer our useless, senseless, vainglorious lives. I don't mind people working out, mind you, but it's essentially something you do just for yourself, like masturbating, and nothing anyone needs to congratulate you for. In fact, now that I think of it, next time I hear someone talking about how much they jog or what they lift, I'll feel free to share how I'm doing on my program of strenuous, rigorous masturbation. You can bench-press 230? Cool. Guess what I can do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 07:48 PM Aaaaaand, please help me out here, y'all. Don't you have any odd ideas you haven't dragged out into light? If I missed them--where do I look? If people can't nonymously out-troll any anonymous troll, a part of me feels a need for them, that they serve a purpose, like village idiots, like Socrates, as gadflies to the state. Here I am with my pro-death, lazy-ass, copywrite infringin', lesbian-butt spotting, rap lovin' dumb butt hangin' in cyber-space. Help me dammit. Doesn't anybody love crazy dumb notions and have a few, tucked away? Thanks Carol C, I may be on a mudcat shopping thing soon, and have a new idea of something I want to have in my basket. You must be crazy, but I wish everyone was crazy enough to be photographed nude with an accordian. It would surely be a better world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 22 Feb 03 - 08:07 PM Fred, let me see if I understand you. You're asking us to fess up to whacky ideas we have harbored, similar in aberrative index value to the notion that lesbi-butts are recognizable from across the street? I dunno if I can do this for ya, man. I think it might be too embarassing. LOL!!! Not for lack of material, just a little shy of being branded, ya know. Say! Didja hear about that feller who went mad talking to folksingers?.... **bg** A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:15 PM Amos, yes. That's what I'm asking. And so much more. I do understand that many 'catters know each other better than I know any of you off-line. But I truly deeply love such dumb things as lesbian-butt, and history teaches us that we are dumb anyway, wrong anyway, so what the hell. Or one may just defend the opposite of what you really think, for fun. You know, for the exercise. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:35 PM Kat: Really, no problem at all! :>) Fred: Well I believe that we are all operating a very high-frequency Destiny Manufacturing Plant somewhere just over the horizon of what we too often consider to be our 'limited' sphere of awareness. And I believe that DNA is just a high-falutin radio receiver for picking up vibes. I believe that if people had a fraction of an inkling of the misadventures they have already survived getting to this turn in the road, their current adventures would seem relatively delightfully easy to them. And I believe the Infinite smiles on those who take the trouble to create a smiling Infinite. I believe that Skimpy Glimmers is the planet's most popular parlor game, and that the world's most popular religion is the worship of Mass and its prophet, Time. I also believe that cats have psychic abilities and can spot all kinds of things (including lesbians, of course) from a thousand yards away, and sometimes a few weeks away, too. So there ya go, pal! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 11:00 PM Well, Amos, Thanks! I believe that cats have a Jungian collective unconscious, but dogs don't. Cats remember somehow that humans worshipped them as divine, and still bloody well expect it, and nothing less, whereas dogs will take whatever they can get. Prove me wrong, anybody. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 22 Feb 03 - 11:50 PM "I believe that if people had a fraction of an inkling of the misadventures they have already survived getting to this turn in the road, their current adventures would seem relatively delightfully easy to them." Amos, I love that! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Troll Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:13 AM The dog says, "They feed me, they groom me, they pet me, they take care of me. They must be Gods." The cat says, "They feed me, they groom me, they pet me, they take care of me. I must be a God." troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:18 AM Hey! I like this idea! I can say something and you can't tell whether I'm serious or just pulling your leg and I don't have to tell you which it is and even if I did tell you I could lie about it! Cool! Okee-dokee! I hate it when people sing in a foreign language. I don't mean "foreign" as in "non-English". I mean foreign as in a language that the singer does not normally speak. French singers should sing in French. Paul McCartney should not. Irish singers who speak Irish should be the only ones allowed to sing in Irish. As they are probably bilingual and speak English as well as they do Irish, they are allowed to sing in either language. Dumb-ass Americans who learn Irish songs phonetically without even knowing what the words mean should be banned from sessions everywhere. They are nothing but pretentious. If I never hear some dip sing "Shule Aroon" again it'll be okay with me. While we're at it, could we please never hear "Roddy McCorley" again? I know it's in English, but I'm damned well sick of it! It's gotta be the Irish equivalent of "Rocky Top". Now, that was fun! All you have to do is figure out whether I was serious. And if you accuse me of being a jerk, I'll tell you I was only kidding. Hey, Fred made up the rules, not me! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:39 AM And as for Danny Boy, begorrah, may he go off to plough the rocks o' Bawn alongside the Maid of the Sweet Brown Knowe in the Garden Where the Praties Grow, wearing a Black Velvet Band and driving a lovliest of all Unicorn!! LOL! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:49 AM Hey, and what about that "Gilligan's Island"? Why did the Howells take all that money along? And why did Ginger have all those different clothes? It was a three hour tour, a THREE HOUR TOUR!!! And why didn't Gilligan and the Skipper have a change of clothes? They LIVED on the frickin' boat!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:31 AM LOL, Cluin. Tom Hanks talked about that once when he was a guest on Charlie Rose's show- talking about 'Castaway', he said they could have had him build a bicycle out of bamboo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:33 AM Of course cats have no frelling* idea of how to spot a hetero, since they always have their nose up each other's butts no matter the equipment. While we are at it, why did we have to be the only animals who have to wear clothes? I mean isn't it time that we liberate ourselves as much as the animals are free to prance around in their b-day suits? At the very least we wemoon shouldn't be arrested for baring tops any more than the men! kat *Farscape's version of fucking |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:40 AM It's too eff-ff-ff-ff-ffing cold for that around here, kat. However, it is legal for the past couple of years now for women to go topless in public if they want. Contrary to a lot of tight-assed people's fears, not very many women have availed themselves of this new "freedom". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:46 AM So maybe we'd all just toughen up, eh? (It's too cold here, too, right now.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:51 AM Whoops, I should have clarified that's it's legal here in Ontario for females to go topless in public. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:51 AM I used to spend some time in my younger days wondering why we don't have a tent-like cavity in/on our beds into which we can insert ourselves and be toasty, sans nightclothes and with no covers touching, maybe with a kayak-like skirting around one's neck... You suppose it could work? On a documentary I watched recently a journalist in Siberia was given a 'bed' that was like a hairy womb. The outer shell was a tent apparently made of gut or some other translucent material. Inside it was a small tent that was lined with reindeer hides, hair side in. On the 'floor' were piled more hides. There were a couple of fat candles that warmed the air but he was given no covers. He stretched out- and reported in the morning that he had been toasty. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:56 AM It sounds lovely, Ebbie, but I think it'd make me itch like crazy! At least there'd be no drafts to freeze my bum.:-) Ontario here I come!**bg** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:29 AM It appeared that the journalist had slept in his clothes, kat, or at least they gave no hint of disrobing... But what happened to your fantasy of having a furry coat? :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:42 AM On the outside, darlin', on the outside.:-) Even my own hair makes me break out and itch if a loose strand falls on bare skin! Talk about touchy, eh?! Actually, live cats do not make me itch, so maybe, nah...they'd have to be alive, there's not way I'd sleep in it otherwise! I did read an ad once for a fur-lined bra for those who lived in the northern climes like yerself.:-) But, somehow, I don't think they meant this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 23 Feb 03 - 10:50 AM My grandmother has a radio that only plays Rocky Top and news that changes without getting up to date. After Castaway I got a contract with my wife that if I'm ever lost at sea for four years with a volleyball and I come back and she's remarried I still get a "greeting/severance package" including something more than a tearful hug. I read about an inventor once who designed a bed with a lateral channel in it so he could sleep with his arm around someone without cutting off his circulation. Actually, the Howell's only brought one trunk full of cash, mere change, as was discussed in the Mr. Howell-imposter episode. I don't know about Ginger, never noticed if she changed or not, I was fixated on Mary-Ann. I think Ginger had a dress made from the sail, though. It is strange that after the Skipper died, the Professor turned into a striking twin of him. What foul thing can I say or defend today? Barbie. I like Barbie, and all the bad press she gets is mean-spirited scapegoating. People blame her for their own erotic fetish of her. She's really very shy, and not too bright, but tries hard, and feels freakish, and cries herself to sleep at night in her little box, or more often, left laying out on the floor. American Girl dolls are smug pretentious over-priced crap, not worth a Bag O' Barbie Heads. They can kiss Barbie's MATEL tm. I think high school kids should do nude life-drawing as a required curiculum, at 7:00 am, to develop visual skills, learn to participate in seeing, so they aren't so easily led by advertising and pop-culture imagery to screw themselves up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 11:42 AM I think Walt Disney founded the Axis of Evil. If we could only subtract the influence of Mickey Mouse from world history, we would find much less hatred toward the U.S. Exporting Mickey and Goofy was a colossal strategic blunder. Talk about weapons of mass destruction!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:14 PM Amen, Amos! DEATH TO THE MOUSE! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:21 PM well *I* think guitars and banjos ought to have a little micro chip embedded in the neck that emits a pulse of energy and beeps or flashes a red light when the instrument varies from standard tuning! Guys who play at home all week show up at gatherings, having re-tuned to themselves until they are WAY off, and then they tune to each other, and poor, long suffering autoharpists are left sitting. Ya' know, I'm beginning to think it's a plot! Bluegrass bands are behind it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:32 PM Bill D, do you visualize a beep/red light for each string? Just picture 10 people sitting around trying to make music and these plaintive beeps keep resounding all around the room. Probably come to fist fights. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:03 PM Fred, I'd like to know more about that bed... I always have a problem figuring out what to do with that "lower" arm while spooning. Always falls asleep on me in whatever position I put it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:34 PM "Bill D, do you visualize a beep/red light for each string? " Will Rogers was once asked during WWII. "What shoud we do about the German submarines?"..."Easy", he said, "boil the oceans!" "Oh, Will, that's silly...how are we going to do that?" "That's not my department...I leave the details to the experts, I'm just the idea man!" sure...have a beep for each string! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:47 PM Would the beeps be in tune at least? |