Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 Dec 01 - 08:22 AM I'd have though that routine wold be repeated with the Plods, who'd be looking on patronisingly, as the bucket was heaved at them.
Then with it'd turn out hat this time it was real custard. At which point Zip would split. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Dec 01 - 09:01 AM [thread creep while you're queueing for your interval drinks, souvenir flashing wands and giant foam waving hands, If you think we exaggerate this is from today's :London Ti,es ...at the Watermill in Bagnor, Berkshire, the team that won the Barclays Theatre Award 2000 for best musical is putting on a Cinderella so posh they're calling it Cinderella and the Enchanted Slipper. So don't go expecting Dr Legg and Spencer from Grange Hill as soft-shoe-shuffling Ugly Sisters there, matey. Don't get me wrong though — if you want Dr Legg and Spencer from Grange Hill as soft-shoe-shuffling Ugly Sisters, Britain can do that for you too. More specifically, Maidstone can do that for you — and their Cinderella at the Hazlitt will even chuck in Pingu. For further C-list panto-sniggers, you can take your pick from former prog-rock giant Rick Wakeman in Aladdin in Truro; Vanessa Feltz, John Inman, Gary Wilmot and Nichola from Big Brother in Cinderella at Woking; and Peter Pan at the Swan in Wycombe, which offers you the dream team of Joe Pasquale, Dirty Den and The Acromaniacs, all in one go.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Trevor Date: 17 Dec 01 - 10:16 AM I'm no good at this myself but can somebody write in my favourite bit where the one of the two simpletons/burglars/soldiers/outlaws/ is carrying a long plank of wood which repeatedly knocks the other one over to the accompaniment of a drum.
OH YES HE DOES! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Dec 01 - 10:22 AM Well, Trev., it usually apears in the script as "own routine, 10 minutes"! Widdicombe: (trying for topical appeal) "Is Arafat irrelevant?" Cherry:"No, Dumbo is irrelevant, Arafat is what makes your bum look big in that!" Drummer:Boom ,Boom, Tzing! RtS (it's the way I tell 'em. Oh no it isn't...) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Mr Red Date: 17 Dec 01 - 10:42 AM And is that Christine Hamilton (soon to appear as Carmen Theroux) fixing her evil eye on Buttons (in the fly)? Mr Hamilton? Sings "here comes the bribe". OK America, what're you making of all this? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,Penny S. (elsewhere) Date: 17 Dec 01 - 12:18 PM Now the underwater ballet starts when the Mudcat looks out of his hipbath, wishing for the Mississippi, when by ancient occult arts (ie the front of stage lighting dims, and the lighting behind the scenery brightens, revealing (for it is a transparent curtain), a scene beneath the rolling surface of the muddy river. The audience, bemused by the kiddiewinks renditions of passing crayfish, yet more catfish and other such creatures waving through the magically clear waters, do not notice as the curtain lifts into the (I used to know the names of all the parts of the theatre...)(Oh yes, the flies), and the dancers, to "The Aquarium" by Saint-Saens (for this is a tasteful part of the panto), quiver their way forward in the subdued cyan lighting, to draw the mudcat from its bath, to dance off into the ethereal distance and the wings. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,Penny S. (elsewhere) Date: 17 Dec 01 - 12:20 PM To be followed by a rendition, from the more raucous members of the cast, of "Oh, them golden kippers" (from the Opies. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: lady penelope Date: 17 Dec 01 - 02:23 PM Enter Zip stage right with box under arm. He's in a terrible hurry and is looking over his shoulder at something behind. Such is his concentration that he crashes straight into Dame Spaw.
D.S. " And where do you think you are going?" Dame Spaw chases Zip off the stage with much clipping of ears........ TTFN M'Lady P.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Allan C. Date: 17 Dec 01 - 03:53 PM Aside to 'Spaw and other semi-innocent bystanders: I am starting to catch on. I believe what we have here is totally random craziness and blithering. The joke for the insiders is that they already know there is no theme and that there are no rules whatsoever - they only pretend these exist. It is all an elaborate ruse for the benefit of putting one over on the outsiders.* It all reminds me of the party game in which one or more people are removed from the room. When they are returned to the room, one at a time, they are told that a story has been concocted by the ones who stayed. The task is for the individual to figure out the story by asking questions, answerable by "yes", "no" or "maybe". What he does not know is that there is no story. The group answers his questions according to the ending of the last word of his question. Final vowels are answered by a "yes". Final consonants receive a "no". Questions ending in "y" are answered by "maybe". Thus, a question such as, "Is the story about me?" would be answered by "Yes". "Am I the main charactor of the story?" would get an answer of "maybe". Confusion soon ensues and continues until the individual breaks the "code" or issues a plea to cease and desist, at which time the next victim is returned to the room. *This is all tongue-in-cheek, guys. I am thoroughly enjoying the insanity of this panto. I only wish I could see one in person. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Bert Date: 17 Dec 01 - 04:06 PM OK guys, who's up to putting one on for real next year? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 17 Dec 01 - 08:05 PM Allan C - The rules are much more simple than that - A panto is a very straightforward storyline, usually based around a well known fairytale. A variety of stereotyped characters appear including the Dame, a downtrodden but cheerful stooge, a villain (mostly lacking so far) a hero and a girl. There are slapstick and wordplay scenes plus a ghost or monster who appears "Behind You". These have got very little to do with the plot, but ALL to do with Panto. The hero wins, the villain slinks of to be nasty another day, the girl finds true love and the Dame gets to wear a completely over-the-top frock to go to the wedding. Quack! GtD
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Allan C. Date: 17 Dec 01 - 08:32 PM At last, a meaningful scorecard! Somehow, what you said has made more sense to me than the others who have attempted explanations. Thank you, Geoff. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,McGrath Date: 17 Dec 01 - 09:02 PM (It's essentially the same as a Mummers Play - the plot is fixed in its essentials, certain bits of dialog are traditional and must be incorporated. (Oh yes they are...oh no they aren't...oh yes they are) Outside that anything goes. For example in a Mummers Play by the Chingford Morrismen that I say tonight The Turkish Knight, Slasher used the name Bin Laden. It didn't stop hik being brought back to life by the Dictor after being slain by St George.)
Proper pantos, like proper Mummers Plays, are primarily in verse, but slip over into prose much of the time. Modern pantos tend to get it the other way round.)
We haven't had a Fairy Queen or a Demon King yet. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 Dec 01 - 09:51 PM (It's essentially the same as a Mummers Play - the plot is fixed in its essentials, certain bits of dialogue are traditional and must be incorporated. (Oh yes they are...oh no they aren't...oh yes they are) Outside that anything goes. For example in a Mummers Play by the Chingford Morrismen that I saw tonight The Turkish Knight, Slasher used the name Bin Laden. It didn't stop him being brought back to life by the Doctor after being slain by St George.)
Proper pantos, like proper Mummers Plays, are primarily in verse, but slip over into prose much of the time. Modern pantos tend to get it the other way round.)
We haven't had a Fairy Queen or a Demon King here yet. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 18 Dec 01 - 06:40 AM (I really wanna see a real one!!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,Penny S. (elsewhere) Date: 18 Dec 01 - 12:05 PM I agree with Kevin that there is a similarity with the Mummers' plays. It puzzles me that the history is given as deriving from the Italian (OK the word does), when the Dame is rather like the Betty (?) in traditional English performances (and there's a similar character in Austrian folk dance groups, I remember, and the overall structure is quite different from the character of the Commedia del Arte. Penny, rushing to catch the post |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 18 Dec 01 - 02:30 PM Zip is in an outhouse stoking the boiler which keeps Dick'sGreenhaus hot during the biting winter. You can see four-foot icicles hanging outside the window. His face is blackened by with coal dust. The door opens and a bucketful of polystyrene snow blows across the stage. Enter the two policemen, George and Dubbya. 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello.We're looking for that rascal Zip Fastener, - turns to the audience - has anyone seen him?. In the background Zip shakes his head and mimes for the audience to say NO! Popcorn is showered from the opera box. A torch beam is followed by a well placed nugget!
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 18 Dec 01 - 06:43 PM Zip, with black face, chirps up - He hasn't been here all day. In fact I'm not even here!What do you mean - you aren't here? exclaims P.C. George. I bet you five pounds that I can prove I'm not here! says Zip. Done! says George. Zip - Am I in Tokyo? George - No. Zip - Am I in Alaska? George - No. Zip - Am I in Rome? George - No. Zip - Well - If I'm not in any of those places, I must be somewhere else! George - Yes. Zip - And if I'm somewhere else - I can't be here! Grabs Ten pound note and disappears rapidly.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Dec 01 - 07:50 PM Enter Mother Duck:
Hullo Girls and Boys. What a Muddy lot you are. I'd like to get you in my duck pond and clean you up. Has anybody seen my ducklings? They keep on wandering off all over the place.
(More or less to the tune of "any old iron")
George and Dubya, the Plods:
Dubya: Dad, Dad - can I arrest her? Can I run her in - she looks very suspicious to me. I think she's in some kind of disguise.
George: That's my boy - you've got it in one. She's cleary a partner in villainy of that rascal Zip. We'll run her in.
We're public guardians bold and wary, |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: alison Date: 18 Dec 01 - 08:55 PM ***POOF***.... and with a blinding flash of light the beautiful good fairy appears to loud cheers from the kids and not a few wolf whistles from the dads....... "what up Zip fastener?" "you want to go to the ball but you don't have anything to wear?" "I can fix that.... here climb into these".... and she waved her magic wand and gave Zip a slinky negligee a big furry slippers...... now all I need is a turnip, 4 hamsters, gaffa (duct) tape, and a big mallet............. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 19 Dec 01 - 11:12 AM I don't like the sound of the big mallet! GtD! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 19 Dec 01 - 04:06 PM It's to get the budgie/turkey into the cage, of course. Failte.....Jock (Mike Harding.... The 10lb budgie story.) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST,hollowfox with no cookie at work Date: 19 Dec 01 - 04:56 PM For those of us without our pantos here in the USA, there's a book that might help: King Panto: the story of Pantomime by A. E. Wilson, E. P. Dutton, publisher, 1935. The English edition was called Christmas Pantomime: the story of an English Institution, published by G. Allen & Unwin. My library system owns it, so you should be able to get it on interlibrary loan. Delightful book, describing the whole operation, describing routines, naming and describing famous performers and genteely mourning the downfall of this institution by the influx of music hall performers and comedians who put in their comic turns and songs whether they have anything to do with the plot or not. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Dec 01 - 05:07 PM Is it really true that there aren't any pantos in the whole of the USA? I can't believe it - after all there are Morris Dancers and Mummers Pays. And even people eating Marmite.
I can't help suspecting there are amateurs putting on pantos in some places - and if there are they'd probably be a lot closer to the tradition hollowfax mentions than most pantos in Britain.
And if there really aren't, it's high time somebody started doing it, and set out to show the British how it should be done. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Trevor Date: 20 Dec 01 - 12:31 PM Isn't there some base for panto in the commedia dell 'Arte? Although I don't know whether Frank Bruno would have studied classical theatre. Anyway, have we got to that bit where Lionel Blair/Danny La Rue/Lily Savage/Roy Baraclough et al gets the kids out of the audience on to the stage and they all sing Jingle Bells before throwing sweeties into the stalls. I NEVER caught a sweetie, or got asked on stage. I didn't even get covered in the bits of paper when they pretended to chuck a bucket of water into the crowd. And where's that woman dressed as Peter Pan, you know, the one with the great legs that you hoped you would get off with when you were old enough to know what 'getting off with' meant - when you were a lot older, say about 12? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Dec 01 - 12:41 PM Make some more popcorn and send somebody for Beernuts...I kinda' see it now, but it's still on the blurry side......My alter ego still seems to be having a fine time of it and a few Beernuts oughta' be about right............There seems to be some vague association to "Guerrilla Street Theater" which I never quite got either, but I'm still enjoying this. Sorry Mac, but the Colonists seem to have left a few things back across the pond............... Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Dec 01 - 03:39 PM Why do I keep thinking about yoghurt? Jock |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Trevor Date: 21 Dec 01 - 04:01 AM Enter Dr Bumpfeel, the shrink with the totally over-the top mid-European accent..... (it's no good, I just don't know what comes next!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Dec 01 - 03:26 PM Tell me LTS, ven didz u vorst haff zeese vorries about ze varink offf ze herrs clothinks? Undt zis tigh slappink perhaps zis iz ze compensatory manifestation of ze internal strackle mit ze feelincks off confusions. You moost admit it to youselfs zat zu bist addicted mit der kazooitis. Und ven you haff recognised you haff a problem zen all ve haff to do is remove your membrane. Ven zis hass been done ze blowing vill haff to stop, JA? Gezundheit.....Jock |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Dec 01 - 12:54 PM What's this I hear, oh woe I cry, Don't let the Mudflap panto die Remember how in Peter Pan, When Tinker Bell grew pale and wan The children gathered to her cause, And brought her back with loud applause. What about the Prandsome Hince, (Do spoonerisms make you wince?) Make this the best panto you've never seen, eh Look out kids here comes Dandini. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: GUEST, A Regular, sans Biscuit Date: 23 Dec 01 - 01:47 PM Maybe that was just the Interval, Giok? *G* |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 23 Dec 01 - 05:09 PM (They thought they'd left Morris Dancing behind - in fact maybe that was why some of them emigrated. But it seems to be live and kicking in some parts of the States...You don't get away that easy. But on with the show...)
Enter the Plods dressed up as Brokers Men - carrying long ladder.
George Jr: Dad, why are we carrying this ladder and dressed up in overalls, Dad, Dad...
George Senior: That's a very good question son. I'll ask my young assistant, Lon Cheney. Lon. Lon, please come on!
Enter Lon Cheney, in the person of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Swinging from a scenery rope, which means that the backdrop scenery keeps on changing like in A Night at the Opera.
As he swings he shouts out his dialogue: At this point the rope breaks and he swings off into the wings, cryng "Aaaaargh" and loud crashing noise off stage.
Lon, Lon, now you've gone.
When you're working as a broker's man,
It's not easy being a villain,
(As they manouevre the ladder about the stage they keep on knocking each other over, with cries of "watch out" and so forth. Then they eventually lean the ladder up against Mother Ducks window, but half way up she opens it, and drenches them with a huge chamber pot, and they fall over.
"You are the weakest link!" she cries. "Kindly leave the stage.
(And they do, shaking their fists at the Dame and at the Audience who is booing them, and being conducted in a chorus of "You are the weakest links" by Zip.)
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 24 Dec 01 - 04:48 PM Geoff the Duck enters the room carrying a bucket of paste. Grandpa Duck is cutting lengths of paper. A set of step ladders is placed against the wall. GEoff is nearly knocked over by a swinging end of a plank. He trips and the wallpaper paste flies across the room. He ends up in a pile of sticky wallpaper. This is not a scene from the pantomime - it's what I've been busy doing in the living room to try and get it ready to use for Christmas. It's also the reason I have been neglecting the panto. Merry Christmas to you all. Hopefully I'll be in a new scene tomorrow!!! Quack GtD |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 25 Dec 01 - 04:26 PM GtD, you're supposed to get plastered at Christmas, not papered. Failte.....Jock |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: Geoff the Duck Date: 25 Dec 01 - 07:00 PM On Sunday I started wrapping presents. I had a great big roll of fancy paper and a load of boxes. All went well as I cut lengths of paper, but then I started to get overwhelming urges to slap paste on them and stick them on a wall........ Quack! GtD. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto anyone??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Dec 01 - 05:30 AM Please beware of these urges, they can be terminal. Just look what happened to Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen for instance, you don't want to end up like that now, do you?? Failte.....Jock |