BS: Fireworks! Hate them!

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: ard mhacha
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 04:08 AM

Nickhere don`t underestimate the Loyalist intelligence, they likely believed he was doing a good job.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Old Nick
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 08:57 AM

Well there you have it - Bobert's shown me the way forward. We need a new law that simply says "don't sell fireworks to hillbillies and the world will be a safer place". And what does "Even the Reg Boyz an' by6 couzin Rufus" mean anyway?
Good night John-Boy, good night Jim-Bob, good night Mary-Ellen.......................

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Stu
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM

"and on behalf of all you people who get upset about this that and the other fecking thing because a few immature people misuse it"

Spoken like someone who has never had to suffer the curse of anti-social behaviour for years on end, right outside your own front door - it ended up making me ill. You've no idea how these bastards grind you down eventually - as they grow they're replaced by the more sportswear-clad clones with the same dismal IQ and degenerate parents. Alcohol, fireworks and fuck knows what else should be far more tightly controlled until people can bring up there kids with a sense of responsibility.

Bollocks to your fireworks - ban them for general sale now and let those that suffer at the hands of this plague have some relief. Otherwise you go and put yourself in the frontline and see how much fun it is living with this nightmare nigh after night after night (one more thing - the police don't give damn about the suffering of ordinary people from anti-social behaviour).

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 11:16 AM

Humph! You sound like one of them prissy city slickers to me, Stigweard. Us country folks hereabouts don't worry our haids about stuff like that because we have a lot of empty space around us, so if'n some consarned yahoo starts makin' a big racket we jest hike over the hill and find a quiet spot of our own in the shade of the juniper trees, suck back on a jug of moonshine and contemplate the beauty of nature fer a bit.

And here's the thing I've always noticed. The one MAKIN' the racket enjoys it! The one not makin' the racket doesn't, unlest he is a good friend of the one makin' the racket.

We-all LOVE to blow things up and make one hell of a racket as long as it is OUR idea...you git what I'm sayin'? If'n it is the other feller's idea...well...it depends on how much we like the other feller and whether or not we is tryin' to git some shut-eye or not.

What you need to do is MAKE some noise of yer own, Stigweard. Let it be YOUR idea to make a hell of a lot of noise, and you will find out jest how much fun it is to let off a rip-roarin' bunch of fireworks. Blow them other suckers right off the street with yer own fireworks show. That is the best way to fight back, and it's fun!

Bobert, Spaw, I'm with ya, boys! Let's get together next July 4rth, go down to Nashville, buy a shitload of the best fireworks money can buy, and blow the whole danged Grand Old Opry right off its foundations. Yessiree. Great fun. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Stu
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 12:42 PM

"Blow them other suckers right off the street with yer own fireworks show. That is the best way to fight back, and it's fun!"

Jaysus - these people have their finger on the button too . . .

This is why you've got to have a sneaking admiration for Americans - it takes determination and grit to be so consistently dedicated to explosions, fire and destruction to the point it becomes their stock answer to everything.

I hear you mad bastards are getting some new nukes? Pass the tin hat . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 12:47 PM

Heh! Snort! Chuckle!

Yep, it's quite somethin' living right next door to a society whose basic natural instinct is to blow things up "read good". Always some excitement lurking just around the corner...

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 01:09 PM

that was supposed to read: "real good"

Blow things up REAL good! That is the American Way, and it has been ever since 1775.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 08:05 PM

Well, gol danged right, Hawkster... And right after we blow the Grand ol' Opree up let's take what we left over to stigs-wierd's niehborhood an' show his neighbors how its really done...

Okay, maybe July 4th wouldn't go over too good over there but what the heck... If they can't take a joke???

BTW, why the Grand ol' Opree??? Why not a certain ranch house in Crawford, Texas... Man, wouldn't that be fun??? Then one certain individual, upon retiring, might have to live in an ol' Airsteam....

No, better yet...

Nevermind... The Grand ol' Opree works fir me... Plus, I know of a real quiet spot about 40 miles west of Nashville in Buck Snort where ya' can rent a motel room fir less than 20 bucks right next to the 24/7 Quick Stop that has the coldest beer in the state of Tennessee...

If it gets better than that then I'd like for someone to explain how...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 08:24 PM

Sounds like Hillbilly Heaven, Bobert! Ah kin hardly wait!

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Stu
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 05:54 AM

I'm going for a lie down in a cool dark room.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 06:20 AM

..............flick*****flick.....................pssssssssssssssssssssss..

KA-BOOM!!!!

.................heheheheheheheheehhe............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 03:09 PM

Why don't those brain-dead morons get bored? How many f***ing bangs can one person listen to before they're bored shitless? No more than two, for anyone with more than one functioning brain-cell, surely!

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 05:10 PM

Two, my hillbilly butt... Takes 'bout a couple three dozen jus' to get in the mood for the good stuff... Hey, maybe you think we're talkin' 'bout lightin' one cherry bomb after another after another... That's okay fun but whn we're talkuin' about the good stuff it's the kinda stuff that folks drive couple hours in traffic and wait for hours to see... And hear...

The good stuff does a lot more than go "boom" and goes "boom" and then lights up the sky... What's wrong with that, woodsman??? Well, don't hurt yer head on this question 'casue I'm gonna tell you what's wrong with that...

...Absolutley nothin, that's what's wrong with it...

Hey, there's a time fir bein' back in the woods and a time for firworks... I enjoy both o' um tho all I gotta do is walk 'bout 400 feet from here and I'm in the Shenandoah National Park which is behind my farm... Yeah, that's okay, too when ya need to be in the woods but this thread ain't 'bout quiet walks in the woods...

It's about fireworks so...

...KABOOM!!!

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 05:36 PM

A Norwegian friend of mine said that he doesn't understand Americans. In Juneau, on the 4th of July, a city barge travels out into the center of the channel between the mainland and Douglas Island and one by one the firemen set off about a half hour of fireworks, lighting up the night sky and the ocean alike.

My friend says, Townspeople see a rocket go up, say Ah!, watch the next one go up and again say Ah! and repeat until the fireworks are gone and the barge is empty.

Why don't they, he asks, set everything up to all blow at once? All the people would go AH!!!!!!!! and then everyone could go home.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 05:54 PM

He might just as well ask why people don't get sex over in about 3 quick strokes (like Spaw usually does...) or why they don't eat a delicious meal in ONE GIANT GULP and SWALLOW! Think of all the valuable TIME they could save! Just think!

Geez...

Even Shane is smart enough to figure out stuff like this, so what the heck is wrong with your Norwegian friend? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 11:27 PM

He just might have been tweaking my leg, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 03:26 AM

I have to admit, the firework display at Legland Windsor this year was something special.

It was a still, reasonably warm night for November, after a spanky sunny autumn day, and the conditions were perfect. All the lights in the park were switched off so the only glow in the sky came from Heathrow Airport some miles away across the valley.

It was one of those evenings where the music and the fireworks fitted perfectly. We could have been watching one of those weird sound graphs that Disney used in the original 'Fantasia' or from Windows Media visualisations.

OK, so the story was lame (Witches ball, bad witch wants to win and bewitches the orchestra, good witch knocks 'em dead with talent) but the timing of the music and the fireworks was perfect. Usually, there's a split second delay, but that evening conditions were perfect and they were spot on. And do you know... out of a crowd of several thousands - there was not a single 'oooh' or 'aaah' until the end. OK, there were a few 'wow's but it was that kind of display!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 10:20 AM

Yep Bobert, emphasis on the SINGLE functioning brain cell. Thanks for proving my point fella! :-)

Ebbie, your display sounds great, I'd love to see it. BUT - when you've had dickheads roaming the streets of your town every night for the past three weeks, setting off huge fireworks from roughly 4.30 pm until 1 am, you get a bit pissed off, I can assure you. I reckon even ole Bobert would tire of it a little! :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:21 AM

Well, gol danged, woodsy, at least I got one firin'...

LOL...

But Norweigan reminds me of yet another "Bobert Story":

                      "Yet Another Bobert Story"

Back when I lived in Wes Ginny in a mountain community there was a big lake and a nice club house and every 4th of July the local fire fepartment would set off some real nice fireworks... Like Liz was describing, they would be set off after an afternoon and evening of picnicing and music and kids of all ages splashing in the club pool...

As per any event in a Wes Ginny mountain community that involves partying there were a number of folks who wouldn't make the designated driver's list, if you know what I mean, and on this given 4th of July we just happened to have such a feller about 20 feet from us...

But nevermind him, for now...

So 'bout 9:00 came and it was getting toward dark and time for the big event... Now usually, like the display that Ebbie was talkin' about in Alaskaburg the display usually lasted about a half and hour or so... Well, the fire dapartment had set up all their stuff over on a point on the deep side of the lake and had the van filled with the firworks to be loaded into tubes and lit and a few fire trucks scattered around the point, as well...

"bout 5 minutes into the display one of the mortors misfired and went right into the back of the van filled with fireworks waitin' their turn...

Now, folks, this ain't a good thing to happen... It's kinda like my last firework story 'cept alot worser... Within' a few swconds the point became a war zone... It was so lit up you could see folks running and diving into the lake... It took about 30 seconds for everything to blow the heck up and then this eerie silence... The only thing left that could be seen was the burning van sittin' in the middle of the point...

Everyone was horrified and silent 'cept...

...you guessed it... Mr. Drunk who was still sitting their on his blanket who swt down his Budwieser, becane to clap and yelled accross the late "Far, fu*kin' out, man, far fu*kin' out..."

Well, luckily there were just a few burn and bruises to the folks from the fire department... One of my neigbors who was the fire marshall got hit in the side of the face by a firework but he healed up okay...

Is there a mopral to this story??? Well, not really... Stuff does happen and thankfully no one was seriously injured, however, as per usual the incident proved yet again that Budweiser never made...

...Bud wiser...

                               The End, Part 2

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:30 AM

Great story, Bobert. Another classic piece of smalltown Americana.

It's plain that a lot of the people who don't like "fireworks" are primarily upset about the ones that go "BANG!" and "BOOM!"

But when I think of "fireworks", what comes to my mind is the beautiful visual displays of bright colours in the night sky. The banging and booming is strictly secondary. It all depends what one is inclined to focus on, you see.

Now if you're inside your apartment watching television behind closed doors and the locals are annoying you by setting off loud explosions out in the street, well, I can understand why it annoys you. But if you have deliberately gone down to the lakeside to watch a beautiful civic display of fireworks paint the night sky in brilliant colours, then you are going to LIKE what you are seeing, correct?

And that explains the difference in viewpoints here about as well as needs be done, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: ard mhacha
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 02:20 PM

You are lucky in the US all of your vandals are in Iraq.

Subject: RE: BS: Fireworks! Hate them!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 02:58 PM

Yes, business is good over there...