Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 23 Oct 01 - 05:11 AM A popular sheet music piece about 1920. Here are the original, the bawdy version posted by Dick Greenhaus (http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=5550#35384) in 1998 (not in DT yet) and the FATHER version he asked for in that thread
Mother
M is for the many things she gave me
Put them all together, they spell MOTHER. Dick Greenhouse's Version MOTHER from frat days.
M is for the many times you made me;
put them all together, they spell MOTHER
Now, for extra credit, does anyone remember the sequel? It started F is for your foolish little letter, and spelled out FATHER.
Answer to Dick's question –FATHER- four years later
F is for the farts that used to linger
Put them all together and they spell FATHER |
Subject: Lyr Add: HARVEST OF LOVE (Benny Hill) From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 23 Oct 01 - 09:52 AM HARVEST OF LOVE As recorded by Benny Hill, 1963.
I rise at six and then I feed the chicks,
CHORUS: I'm gonna sow the seed of deep devotion,
Yes, I was happy as a pig in spite of the way that you looked at me CHORUS
Side by side we will take a ride CHORUS 3X AND FADE. |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 24 Oct 01 - 11:11 AM Irian Jaya Tune: Mull of Kintyre
Far have I traveled and much have I seen,
CHORUS: Irian Jaya,
Been rogered in Rio and poked in Peru,
Met a girl in the jungle with a bone through her nose,
Oh the skirt she was wearing was made out of grass,
She put down her basket, took hold of my tool,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Oct 01 - 12:47 AM Could be in the DT, and then again might not. Ask Sam is a little tipsey tonight.
One-Eyed Riley
When I was sitting by the fire,
CHORUS:
Her hair was black, her eyes were blue,
Jack O'Flanagan is my name,
Walking through the town one day,
Up the stairs and into bed,
Fucked her till her tits were flat, Filled her up with soapy water,
Suddenly footsteps on the stairs,
He fired the pistol at my head,
Old man Riley's dead and gone,
Come you virgins, maidens fair,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Oct 01 - 06:09 AM Or Would you Rather be a ____? Tune: Swinging on a Star
A Pom is an animal that drinks warm beers,
CHORUS: Or would you rather prop up a bar?
A Yank is an animal that don't know jack shit,
An Ocker is an animal with corks in his hat,
A Kiwi is an animal that likes to fuck sheep,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Oct 01 - 06:15 AM
One-Eyed Trouser Snake
Oh, I got a little creature
He goes everywhere that I go
CHORUS:
One day I got reading in an old sky pilot's book,
I met this arty sheila who I'd never met before,
So come all you little sheilas and listen to me some, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Oct 01 - 10:01 AM I'll Take the Left Leg Tune: Loch Lomond
Oh, I'll take the left leg, and you take the right leg,
When the Lord and his band were shaping up this land,
Angel Gabriel scratched his head and asked the Lord instead
Now there was me and Auntie Annie,
Now the old goat died, around Eastertide,
When a visiting rugby team took a whore from Aberdeen
Now wee Ronnie teaches pipes to girls of all types,
Now in Burn's magic prose, a Scottish girl is like a rose.
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 25 Oct 01 - 10:36 AM ...you know garg....these songs about women are so disgustingly sexist that I can't imagine anyone singing them in mixed company. Some would also say violent. I hope you don't spend too much time collecting them...harpgirl |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Oct 01 - 08:39 PM Ah Harpy, there is a breed of woman who harken to the sound of breaking bones and grunts of mortal pain, and who are enamored by the smell of blood and stale spilled beer. I take your presence within this thread to indicate a sort of voyeristic fascination.
Upon your request; I will do my best, to briefly break away and bring you the women's visionous versions. Good Lord knows your bum would be welcome in my scrum. |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 25 Oct 01 - 09:05 PM ...ah garg...it's your online personality that intrigues, not the songs...the dungeons and dragons crowd have an interesting take on web presentation of self, I think. Do you play? |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 26 Oct 01 - 12:16 AM Hey, Harpy, ya wanna be my straight-man? You feed and I poke? Footballers aren't misogynists. All adore women/wives/mothers and have loving, enduring relationships which produce daughters. Perhaps because one or two nuts have been crushed. Just for you...Here is a female point of view.
If I Were the Marrying Kind
If I were the marrying kind,
And he'd find touch, and I'd find touch,
--Would be a: And he'd: |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 26 Oct 01 - 03:51 AM Harping Girl, you THINK this reflects well on the male species of the globe? Reflections through jaundiced eyes, most frequently portray the critic!
Come on ol' harpy, I expected more from a fellow Maine-i-ak!
Lovely lady, I did not create, nor resurrect the bones of this long forgotten thread, however, I intend to fullfil it's promise since the material has, unwittingly, been placed within my grasp. I respect you as one of the truly, "kindred souls of the DT".....but how about looking for a "Knitting/Sewing SONG" thread to withdraw to? BTW....I think perhaps we dated for several years....your picture is not in the member's area....but your wit is her's. Post your photo, I will post mine. D&D - Donkey's and Dwarves? Whoop-T-Do!
You Won't Find Any Country
I've searched the world over, excitement I've sought,
CHORUS:
To tap a Yank for a good screw, in my belief,
The Dutch they just sit there, arsehole on bike,
Now haircuts for Germans are four times the price,
The Swiss nation at loving are antiseptic,
The Aussies are known for their intake of beer,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 26 Oct 01 - 03:56 AM Whoa, Harp!!!- Perhaps, this one compliments the male yang of the ying?
Inbred Man
Inbred Man, he's our man
Inbred Man had a sister once
Inbred Man he looses his truck
Inbred Man went down to the creek
Inbred Man had a dog named Rover
Inbred Man, he's got this punk
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 26 Oct 01 - 10:31 AM ...ah garg, my picture has been up for a long time via the forum. You just have to look. But I'm way more yang than I appear to be...Your turn! You're hard to pick out in that Philmont Rangers photo.... |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 26 Oct 01 - 08:49 PM Sorry, I don't know the team. At the end of the thread will be a posting of all the song credits, history, and writeup for the Ghost Riders Rugby Football Club, its the Camp Pendelton Marines not the U.S. Army.
Short on time right now Harps - so would you mind posting this next one into a couple of Irish threads?
Old Irish State
I'll sing you a song of the old Irish race
CHORUS :
Now Patrick was screwing for over an hour
Now Sean was a student at the top of his form
Mrs Riley went shopping for anti-perspirant
"The defendant, did he rape you?" said the judge to Anna.
Now Mary O'Toole a gynecologist had seen.
"Pilot Murphy to control tower, I want to come in."
Mrs O'Leary buried her husband, but her friend had found
Well the Jews tell us that they're God's chosen race.
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 26 Oct 01 - 11:33 PM ...you're the Songmeister for sure garg!!! |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Oct 01 - 04:19 AM Not a song, but a responce yell. How's Your
Leader: How's your father?
Leader: How's your mother?
Leader: How's your sister?
Leader: When was the last time?
Leader: When is the next time?
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Oct 01 - 04:22 AM Inside Those Red Plush Breeches Tune: ???
John Thomas was a servant tall
CHORUS: And he wore red plush breeches
Out of all the servant's at the servant's post
They went for a walk one moonlight night
They found a stump to sit upon
Mary had an illegit
Now Mary laid poor John a trap,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 28 Oct 01 - 04:27 AM Incest Time in Texas Tune: Yellow Rose of Texas
When it's incest time in Texas,
No time for masturbation,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:10 PM Interesting one to track down some history on.
Queen of All the Fairies
Oh, she was a cripple with only one nipple
Twenty-one, never been done,
Ain't it a pity she'd only one titty
Twenty-one, never been done,
As he got older and bolder and bolder,
Twenty-one, never been done, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:11 PM Vlad Tune: ???
Eat, bite, fuck, suck, gobble, nibble, chew
AW VLAD, AW VLAD.
Well, I went to a party, and what did they do?
Everybody's ass was bare,
My baby's not a sports fan, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:12 PM Nellie Darling Tune: I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Wiener
Oh, your ass is like a stovepipe, Nellie Darling,
There's a yard of lint protruding from your navel, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:15 PM This is another variation of lyrics first discussed and then posted in the above thread.
Durex is a Girl's Best Friend
To be screwed by a dude
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:16 PM No trousers Tune: When You Wore a Tulip
Oh she wore no blouses
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:18 PM This peculiar collection of oddities has me flumoxed.
Nelly 'Awkins
I first met Nelly 'Awkins down
CHORUS (Tune Change):
(Tune Change) I caught a dose of pox a year ago, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:19 PM Within the MC forum - the first one appears to be a tradition for some families. Here are some other verses for other holidays.
Next Thanksgiving
Next Thanksgiving, next Thanksgiving,
Next Christmas, next Christmas,
Next Easter, next Easter, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:20 PM Nice Girls Tune: All the Nice Girls Love a Sailor
All the nice girls like a candle,
All the nice boys like a harlot,
All the parsons like a choir boy, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 08:21 PM
Nick-Nack Paddy-Wack
This old man, he fucked one,
CHORUS:
This old man, he fucked two,
This old man, he fucked three,
This old man, he fucked four,
This old man, he fucked five,
This old man, he fucked six,
This old man, he fucked seven,
This old man, he fucked eight,
This old man, he fucked nine,
This old man, he fucked ten,
This old man, he fucked eleven,
With a nick-nack paddy-wack, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 31 Oct 01 - 11:59 PM HEINEKEN, SCHMEINEKEN Chant
Heineken, schmeineken,
Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon!
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:29 AM Another version of the two already in the DT
COLUMBO
In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two,
CHORUS:
Colombo went to the Queen of Spain,
Now three slick ships set out to sea,
The sailors on Columbo's ship,
Colombo came upon the deck,
Columbo had a one-eyed cat,
Columbo had a first mate,
For forty days and forty nights,
They spied a whore upon the shore,
With a joyful shout they ran about,
And when his men pulled out again,
Columbo went in haste to the Queen,
So she threw him in a stinking jail,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:33 AM JOE OFFER - sorry buggered the above post by leaving out the closing tags.
Another version of the one in the DT
COLUMBO
In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two,
CHORUS:
Colombo went to the Queen of Spain,
Now three slick ships set out to sea,
The sailors on Columbo's ship,
Colombo came upon the deck,
Columbo had a one-eyed cat,
Columbo had a first mate,
For forty days and forty nights,
They spied a whore upon the shore,
With a joyful shout they ran about,
And when his men pulled out again,
Columbo went in haste to the Queen,
So she threw him in a stinking jail,
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:35 AM I'M YOUR MAILMAN Tune - Blackbird, Bye Bye
Make me happy, make me gay, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:43 AM Falling into the military catagory - but
British Soldier (aka Suzie Wong)
Chorus:
Verses:
Yankee knocks upon my window
Yankee screws for just 5 minutes
Yankee cocks are sometimes limpy
Yankee lifts me on my pillow
Yankee tender kissed my nipples
Yankee treats me like his mother
Yankee sends me gold and diamonds
Yankee sleeps soon like a baby
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:50 AM Perhaps Shorty is acting up again....but this class is not appearing in the DT search
ARSEHOLES ARE CHEAP TODAY - VERSION # 1
Arseholes are cheap today,
ARSEHOLES ARE CHEAP TODAY - VERSION # 2
Arseholes are cheap today,
Large ones at three and eight,
We'll pledge your money back, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:56 AM HI HO! HI HO! IT'S OFF TO THE BURLESQUE SHOW Melody - Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work We Go
Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to the burlesque show,
OTHER VERSES: |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 01:04 AM A collection of miscellaneous verses - Night Owl once posted part of the statue one, but left it hanging with nowhere to go, in the middle of a "mudcat cafe story."
HUMORESQUE I love to go out after dark
I've noticed lately
The Thinker is the only one
Passengers will please refrain
If you simply have to go
Passengers will please refrain
If this method is in vain,
Mabel, Mabel, strong and able,
Ever since you met our Nelly,
Was it you who did the pushin',
It was I who did the pushin',
|
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 01:10 AM I WISH I WAS IN ENGLAND Tune - Dixie
I wish I was in England,
I wish I was in Sydney,
I wish I was in Paris,
I wish I was in Vegas,
I wish I was in Tucson, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 12 Nov 01 - 12:37 PM ...Hi Ho, indeed! |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 03:14 PM A good choice HarpGirl. This one was a little hard to find. It came from a parody of the "Smurf's Christmas."
Hi Ho
Hi ho, hi ho, its off to bed we go.
Hi ho, hi ho, its off to bed we go.
Hi ho, hi ho, its off to bed we go
Hi ho, hi ho, its off to bed we go
Hi ho, hi ho, its time for you to blow
Hi ho, hi ho, inside your bush I'll blow
Conclusion: |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 03:18 PM Lyrics added.... Already in the DT - but without the tune noted and without the updated versions of aircraft. Its connection to Rugby is purly because the club was Marines.
GIVE ME OPERATIONS
Don't give me a P-38,
CHORUS:
The engine is mounted behind,
Don't give me a Peter Four-Oh,
Don't give me a P-51,
Don't give me a P-61,
Don't give me an F-84,
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt,
Don't give me a jet Shooting Star,
Don't give me an F-86,
Don't give me an F-89,
Don't give me an F-94,
Don't give me an 86-D,
Don't give me a C-45,
Don't give me a C-54,
Don't give me a B-45,
Don't give me a One-Double-Oh,
Don't give me an F-102,
Don't give me a Phantom 4C,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: harpgirl Date: 12 Nov 01 - 06:37 PM a good hash might cleanse you of that testosterone poison, garg ole chap! go to it! |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 11:05 PM Aye, HarpyGal...yer testin' the strength of me testes, eh?
Footballers may indulge, and on occasion, over-indulge, in the ethyl esters of C2H3OH, and perhaps some of us may twist a twig of fulminating tobacco, but THC...of the cannibis family...nope, no thanks, aside from "medicinal anabolic steroids" we as a lot.... are drug free.
I will check the Indian/Nepal clubs for songs in reference to your distilate of preference. This may take awhile and something may be lost in the translations. You are a challenging gal, with peculiar tastes.
In the meantime, please satisfy yourself with the following.
THERE WAS AN OLD FARMER
There was an old farmer who sat on a rock,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 12 Nov 01 - 11:52 PM A man who kept stats in Katmandu for 17 years will be researching, in the meantime: Talked to other friends tonight, they say you are probably looking for the pop-song "Hash Pipe" by Weezer. Weezer has sort of a folk feel, particularly their first big hit...The Sweater Song....but I must assure you...this has NOTHING to do with Rugby Football. Sincerly, your most humble of servants Gargoyle.
Hash Pipe
I can't help my feelings, I'll go out of my mind
Oh, come on and kick me
I can't help my boogies they get out of control
Oh, come on and kick me
Oh, come on and kick me
I've got my hash pipe
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 03:51 AM A "Football" song, but of the soccer variety, not folk but rock.
Three Lions ´98 Version
We still believe, we still believe
It´s coming home,
Tears for heroes dressed in grey
Three lions on the shirt
Talk about football coming home
Three lions on the shirt
We can dance Nobby´s dance
It´s coming home, it´s coming home,
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Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 03:58 AM HOT VAGINA Tune - Yellow Rose of Texas
Hot vagina for your breakfast, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:03 AM GET IT UP, GET IT IN Melody - Bonanza Theme
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do
Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:09 AM
CHAPPED HIDE
Ballin', ballin', ballin',
You thought he was the right one,
Pick him up, take him home, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:12 AM BYE BYE CHERRY Melody - Bye Bye Blackbird
Back your ass against the wall, |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:20 AM
ALI BOOGIE
CHORUS:
Mama's on the bottom,
Mama's on the bottom,
Mama's in the hospital,
I got a gal,
I got a gal,
Papa's got a watch,
One and one makes two,
Nappy, nappy hair |
Subject: RE: Rugby Football Songs From: GUEST,Atalanta Date: 14 Nov 01 - 07:29 AM I know you! Aren't you the LongBeach Hash House Harriers songleader? I ran in your Sunday hash!!! Atalanta |
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