BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested

Subject: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 09:39 PM

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) -- A 35-year-old man faces charges after allegedly driving drunk and then urinating in the back of a squad car and on the arresting officer. A criminal complaint said the man was pulled over early Wednesday after an officer saw him driving erratically and striking a pole at a gas station.

The complaint said the man failed field sobriety tests and when he was being taken to the police station, urinated in the back of the squad car and sprayed the officer, hitting him in the back of the head.

The man is facing four felony charges and two misdemeanors. He faces a maximum of 15 years in prison if convicted.

The misdemeanors include a fourth-offense operating while intoxicated.

Yeah, in my experience cops take a really dim view of people who do this.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 09:55 PM

It's not the urination per se, though, mind you. It's having to dry clean the uniform.



A

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Janie
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 10:05 PM

Man, oh man. Shane is realy raking in the dough with this new private lessons gig.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 10:08 PM

I can hear those Sheboygan people talking now, "Aw, the guy musta come from Chicago." They're probably right, too. People in that part of Wisconsin don't commit crimes. It's too cold to commit crime there, but the dumb folks visiting from Chicago do it anyhow. Wisconsinites don't need to drive drunk because there's a tavern on every corner. Sheboygan used to have a wonderful bratwurst festival, with music, beer, and wonderful sausage. They had to shut the festival down after it was taken over by rowdy out-of-towners.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 10:15 PM


Yeah, in my experience cops take a really dim view of people who do this.

You have experience at pissing on cops, Rapaire?!**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Genie
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:22 PM

When the cop stops you for speeding, never try to "explain" your way out of the ticket by saying, "Sorry, sir.   I had a few beers, so my mind was wandering and I wasn't watching the speedometer."


(I think I read a news story recently where a woman used an excuse pretty much like that.
She got more than one ticket.)

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:26 PM

It does sound like Shane has been spreading his particular brand of expertise around, doesn't it? I hope the guy paid him enough to buy at least a 6 pack or some smokes.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Janie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 12:41 AM

I heard he got a twelve pack of Iron City and a pack of Carlton Longs, and that was just for one lesson.

I tell ya'. That Shane, he got skills!

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 01:09 AM

And when asked to do the roadside sobriety tests, don't say: "Hell, I couldn't do that when I'm SOBER!".

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 02:47 AM

We don't have much serious crime in Juneau- oh, we have the occasional murder, mind - but not much car theft (it's called joy riding here) or abductions or serious burglary. The reason may well be that it isn't easy to get out of town unnoticed: We have no roads out of town- you either fly or go by water.

Here's how one serious criminal tried to do it, recently:

A-kayakin' We Will Go


"A convicted sex offender who tried to skip town in a kayak has been sentenced to two years in prison for violating his probation and failing to register as a sex offender.

"According to court records, Jacobsen spent three days kayaking south to Ketchikan last May before he was picked up by Alaska State Troopers near Holkham Bay, which is south of Juneau."

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 09:03 AM

Friend of mine just sent me some film taken from the video camera in a police car. It shows the cop telling the guy that he can complain about the speeding ticket to the Chief, to the Judge, and that everything is being recorded. The cop tells the guy to pull away safely, and the cop gets into his car. Then you see the speeder driving his car into and onto the roof of the police car and you hear the cop calling for an ambulance and help while telling the other guy to turn his engine off.

That too is something you really shouldn't do.

I've always wondered what would happen if, when you're stopped by a cop and asked for your license you replied, "Geez, the judge took that so you'll have to ask him for it."

As for how I know from experience -- well, let's just say that in my varied career I was once charged with and acquitted of police brutality....

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 09:14 AM

YEah--he put the county sheriff in a half-nelson until he paid up his back library fine--25 cents per diem clear to last Tuesday. It added up, I tell ya. That was one sore cop. Said it was the last time he'd check out "Best of the Centerfolds" from THAT Library.



A

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: maeve
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 09:23 AM

True, Amos. Even at my library here in Maine we heard that Rap threw the book at him.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 09:25 AM

Indeed, Amos. And we are preparing to retrieve YOUR overdue materials. Six days overdue...tsk, tsk.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 10:34 AM

ye gods! Idaho is tough!

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 11:05 AM

(Yes, I realize this is not a 'What Not to Do When Arrested' story but it IS crime related. It just struck me as funny. :)

The Uses of Food at North Pole


"North Pole is a city of less than 2,000 people about 14 miles south of Fairbanks on the Richardson Highway. The robbery was the 12th robbery of a bank or credit union in Alaska this year, according to the FBI.

A secretary at North Pole Middle School took the bomb threat call at about 1:20 Wednesday afternoon. The caller said the bomb would explode in two minutes.

Forty minutes later, a man that witnesses said was in his 20s entered the credit union, approached a teller and demanded money. He received an undisclosed amount and fled on food .

The grocery store anchors one end of the North Pole Plaza, a mall a few blocks from the school. Law enforcement authorities rushed to the mall and sealed off entrances. Shoppers were allowed to finished their business and leave."

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 11:25 AM

"...fled on food " What on earth does that mean?

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 11:35 AM

what a story...

guy got pissin drunk
cop got pissed on
cop got pissed off
the drunk's life is pissed away.

If we had a justice system where the punishment fit the crime...
the trial would be a pissing contest
and the sentence would be revenge by piss.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 11:41 AM

A typo, I suppose, for "fled on foot". Unless he was riding a cucumber or something...



A

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 11:55 AM

The item was from the Associated Press so the typo was probably not our local paper's fault. Wouldn't bet on it though- when it comes to mistakes in the paper, Typos R Us.

Recently there was a reference to 'Ladder Day Saints'.

And in the past they have advertised for an 'On Sight Manager'.

lol

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Jayto
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 12:00 PM

It kinda reminds me of Ginsberg saying "the only way I like to see a person give a flower to a cop is if it is still int he pot and dropped from 3 stories up." Paraphrased of course. lol

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 12:01 PM

'The misdemeanors include a fourth-offense operating while intoxicated.'

I hope they put him away for a long time before he kills or cripples somebody.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 12:04 PM

Hearing about all this stuff makes me realize that Shane is not alone in this world. That is somehow rather touching, don't you think?

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Genie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 03:44 PM

"Gee, Officer, I didn't realize I was weaving and swerving and I wasn't intentionally speeding. It's just that the kid in the front seat was turned around, fighting with the two who were wrestling in the back seat, and when I turned around to make them sit back down, I dropped my Big Mac, my coffee AND my cell phone. These prescription meds I'm on have my head a little fuzzy, otherwise I'd have insisted the kids buckle up before we left."

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: PoppaGator
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 04:00 PM

The guy made a more-or-less conscious choice to get shitfaced knee-walking drunk and then to drive his car, so he deserves whatever punishment he gets for that offense.

On the other hand, the peeing part has to have been entirely involuntary. They should go easy on him for that. I'm sure that the cop's immediate reaction was pretty harsh, and no further discipline should be necessary on that count.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Pseudolus
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 04:05 PM

Or as Rodney Carrington would say.....

Policeman - "Sir can you please step out of the car?"

Rodney - "Hell no, I been drinkin, you get in!"

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Becca72
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 04:10 PM

If the guy had just accidentally pissed his pants I highly doubt there would have been any splash to hit the cop. Sounds to me like he whipped it out in the back seat and deliberately pissed in the cruiser, or was so blind-drunk he forgot where he was, whipped it out and pissed in the cruiser.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: gnu
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 04:16 PM

15 years for getting drunk? Throw the politicians in jail for 15 days. They are the ones that sold him the booze. If the government makes a profit from selling booze, shouldn't the government be liable for the consequences of it's actions? Or, does common law and common sense not apply to the governement?

Sorry... I know the answer... that was rhetorical bullshit.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 04:57 PM

Speaking as an Ex-cop... I often had the piss taken but was never pissed on!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: PoppaGator
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 05:06 PM

In Wisconsin, as in every one of the United States, the government is not in the liquor-store business.

Various levels of government collect taxes from alcohol sales, of course, but the state-run booze outlets you see in Canada and in some (or all?) European countries do not exist in the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 05:12 PM

Ohio, Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, North and South Carolina and Montgomery County, Maryland are, to my personal knowledge, running state-owned liquor stores. I know that there are others, but I can't think any more right now.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM

They do in New Hampshire, don't they?

Ebbie, the link had the typo fixed. Sure glad my sis doesn't work at that school!

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Genie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 05:36 PM

I think Washington state has a Liquor Control Board too.    I never see anything stronger than wine or beer in the grocery stores and I never see private liquor stores here either.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 09:23 PM

In Juneau, you won't find any alcohol based drinks in grocery stores. The weakest to strongest libation will be found only in liquor stores.

It surprised me; in Oregon, wine and beer are sold in groceries while hard liquor is found in liquor stores.

And in Oregon, taverns (pubs) sell only wine and beer; it takes a nightclub to serve it the spectrum.

Also in Oregon, a certain percentage of revenue accrued in taverns and clubs has to come from food. If there is no kitchen, they must provide sandwiches and microwaves.

In Alaska, many of our taverns and bars provide no food at all.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 10:22 PM

I'm surprised the guy didn't end up falling down the stairs in the police station.
Might have been poetic justice...he was drunk after all.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Gurney
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 12:04 AM

The piss-artist has a relative who lives here. 'Our' idiot walked into a police station and complained that he'd been robbed. Someone had broken into his pad, nicked his money, his stash, and all the heads off his plantation.


They could hardly read him his rights for laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Genie
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 04:15 AM

Ebbie: "In Alaska, many of our taverns and bars provide no food at all."

Which might help explain a lot of Alaska's voting habits, perhaps?

Genie   *g*

Subject: RE: BS: What NOT To Do When Arrested
From: Becca72
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 07:25 AM

Here in Maine you can buy just about any liquor you can think of in many of our grocery stores..it's a long winter, after all...