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Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: alison Date: 05 Aug 99 - 10:19 AM Time warp time.... Everyone follow me Through the magic fountain careful of the squid...... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 05 Aug 99 - 10:06 AM Thanks for keeping the place tidy, Roger. 'Mornin', all! Coffee w/ cheese Danish & almond croissants to celebrate the new & improved Mudcat. Where're our computer elves? It's about time to move to Round Five! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 05 Aug 99 - 08:21 AM I've a feeling this place will move again soon. Wow, what a great job Max has done with the remodelling. LOve the waterfall. I see everyone else is complaining about the black stuff and Mick hasn't finished it all up yet so we've got nothing to deliver today. I hope your next location is on my delivery route. Well just a small one, I'll try not to spill anything on the floor. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: DougR Date: 05 Aug 99 - 01:16 AM Big Mick: If the good Sister, God help her, couldn't get the point across, I'm afraid it's a lost cause. Perhaps in your next life ... Anyway, it's always worked for me (except for my wife). DougR |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Song 'n Food Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:44 PM I'm after some of Mick's black vile stuff. 13 hours in a kitchen is too darnnned much. Say, is that Koko singing that great alto harmony on Joe Offer's drreadful drinkingsongs?? Susan A-R |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:31 PM You can takeover there, but this rounds on me and get yourself the biggest and baddest thing you want Max...You do deserve it. You've had a great day, but so have we! Hell Max, have another...and one from all of us 'Catters! Just drink free anytime here......Put it on my tab. God knows I owe everybody else...I'll just put Leej on my "Stiff of the Month Club" and stiff him along with the all the medical folks. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:27 PM LEJ & I work crazy hours, Max! Good to see you! Thanks for all your hard work on the site! Can I get you some food to go w/ that drink? Sit down & rest awhile. You're among friends here! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: alison Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:26 PM No Max..... you just take a seat you've been working hard. I'll take a turn..... what'll you have? Pints of vile black stuff all round courtesy of Big Mick... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Max Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:17 PM Fhwoooh! Boy have I had a day. A day!... Try a year. I feel like I've lived a 100 in these 27 1/2 years of mine. Pour me a double. Who's behind this bar anyhow? Can't still be LEJ can it? Take a break will ya? I'll take over for a while. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 99 - 10:00 PM Hey, you two! Stop playing in that waterfall! That's Doug's vodka you're splashing on each other! Where did you think we got the rocks, after all? Welcome back, everybody! Big Mick says this round's on him! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Big Mick Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:58 PM Now DougR, you are going to have to help with this "listen" thing. It is a concept that I am not familiar with. I faintly recall Sister Primitive (no shit, real name) back in school trying to explain this to me as she was simultaneously teaching me about rhythm and time signatures with a wooden ruler by tapping the back of my knuckles. I learned the bit about time and rhythm but never quite got the bit about listening..........Is this a Zen concept???...New Age???.........Help me out here, DougR......... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:23 PM Yeah, me too jeri......and that's so wonderful with the water cascading over the gravestone covered in Rubber Squid.........'Course it's nothing compared to that Possum's Ass Fountain in the center. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Jeri Date: 04 Aug 99 - 08:39 PM Glad to be back. That was a pretty drastic way of complying with health code regulations - completely rebuilding the place? Wow! I really like the indoor waterfall, myself. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: DougR Date: 04 Aug 99 - 08:25 PM Big Mick: Okay, here goes. The secret of success with women! Ready? This probably won't work with Koko, but I guarantee it will work with any other woman on earth. Got your attention? My instructions consist of one word: LISTEN! Women like men to listen, and most men aren't very good at it. So there you go! Now, darlin' bbc, I'll have me a great big old vodka on the rocks with a splash of water. Teachin' makes me thirsty. DougR |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 99 - 11:05 AM OK, Mick, you heard the man--no jello-wallowing till you sing! And remember, Doug's got his eye on you. Wants to see how you do w/ his tips! :) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Big Mick Date: 04 Aug 99 - 10:18 AM ...and rooting around in the Jello pool........ |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 04 Aug 99 - 10:05 AM ...and rooting for Babe Ruth.... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Jeri Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:48 AM It's actually sarsparilla. The drink is flavored with the roots (see root beer) of an evergreen climbing shrub. Some of you root fanatics might like trying growing your own. A perfect drink for kicking back and listening to roots music while watching Roots. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:41 AM Hmmm! I think I'll pass on the sarsparilla!BTW Hendrik says in Sweden you have to sing ,i>before you drink:I'll have to try that for a change. BBC. get Mick to do "Hat's Off to Larry" before you let him get into the Guinness pool. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:23 AM Kind of a Douglas Adams kinda' drink? LOL Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: MMario Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:21 AM Never had a sasperilla? Sorta root-beerish, with overtones of Doctor Pepper or birch beer. sorta. well, kinda. It's one of those tastes that you can never really compare with anythin' cuz it tastes different but the same, only not really. Clear as Guiness jello, right? MMario |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 04 Aug 99 - 09:16 AM Sorry, folks. Had a technical problem last night & got behind on my drink orders. Wow! I'm glad I missed helping the cleaning crew. This place sure looks a lot better! This time, let's keep the jello in the jello pit!!! Guiness, anyone? Ah, Doug, you spoke w/ Mick for yourself. Yes, he's been trying to lose Koko. Can't wait to hear how Rick's doing! I don't think Heather will approve of a girl-rilla in the house! MAG, I think we drove the cockroaches out, thanks to catspaw's soap & Roger's latest jello shipment. Here's to your dad; more power to him! And catspaw, don't mind what Lonesome says, I've got some cashews in the back. Comin' right up! Only one drink, though, for you & then you're back to Coke. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on you! Whew! Think I'd better sit down for a minute! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 04 Aug 99 - 03:54 AM What a night, cleaning all that solid jello out of the tanker, here's today's supply of Guiness flavour as Mick requested. Sure looks clean in here, that Dr Bronner's did the trick, eh? [What in hell wassasparilla anyway? Seemed to be the only non-alcoholic drink in the Wild West according to Hollywood] |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: catspaw49 Date: 03 Aug 99 - 10:38 PM This joint needs a complete cleaning Leej....damn whadda' mess...........Say what? No, in that case I can live with it. But, uh, I'll bring you in a gallon of Dr. Bronner's Miracle Soap...or better yet FUGG cleanser...then when anybody else says something you can hand them the bottle and a mop and tell them to go FUGG THEMSELVES!!!.........OK, OK...it was just a thought. Bring me a jack and coke and forget the coke. Tough day....That damn Rick made me feel my own dullness on the James Taylor thread...then I realized we're all dull....Yeah, you too........Any of those 'puters still in the back?...Can you punch up the James Taylor Rehab Clinic for the Catatonically Bland website...it's www.boringashell.duh......See if you can get us all a group rate. And bring me some peanuts...got cashews?...OK, OK...damn...you're in a mood ... peanuts will do..Thanks.........(sheesh, whadda'grouch) Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Big Mick Date: 03 Aug 99 - 09:59 PM Door opens a crack, this huge head pokes in, it's Big Mick....................Now, Koko's not hiding in here is she??............Good, I sicked her on Fielding. I hope they are happy together...........That creature has been following me since 1972..........Oh Hi, DougR, care for a drink?..........In fact, bbc, set up the house. When is the next load of jello due?......I want Guinness flavored. And I insist that THE FAIR ONE and Hammerin' Harpgirl are on my team this time.........Now, Doug, you have got to show me how you do that thing you do........Amazing, man.................... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: MAG (inactive) Date: 03 Aug 99 - 09:26 PM NOT cockroaches. I took two years off my life spraying my stuff with industrial strength moving from one dive to a cockroach free apartment in Chicago, and they still give me the heebie jeebies. You haven't LIVED until angry bugs come flying out of your iron or your coffee grinder. Then I moved to Florida (bad idea) and met the 3 inch flying kind. I say, burn this sucker down and build another one. Now, THERE's a campfire ... seriously, lift a virtual one for my hardheaded 80 year old Dad, who got his pacemaker in late Friday. He's a right wing teetotaller, so this is most apropos thanks. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: LEJ Date: 03 Aug 99 - 08:30 PM My Lord what a DAY! "Cannons to the right of me Cannons to the left of me " Quick a Martini ... VERY dry, double olive, Bombay if you got it.. OHHHH that's good! Now let me take a deep breath...ommmmmmmmmmmmm...... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: DougR Date: 03 Aug 99 - 08:09 PM bbc: I'll have a vodka on the rocks, with a splash of water and no twist please! I wonder where Big Mick is? How'm I gonna instruct him in the art of courting the ladies if he's never around? Think he went on the wagon, bbc? DougR |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 03 Aug 99 - 07:31 PM OK, Doug, I've got the bug spray. You open the windows & stamp a few times & we're open for business. I'm still standing a round for Bill Sables, now safely back in England. Here's to you, Bill! What can I get for you, Doug? |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: DougR Date: 03 Aug 99 - 07:02 PM Wow! Here it is cocktail time on the desert and there's not a soul in sight in the Mudcat Tavern! A tank truck stands outside, presumably Roger the zimmer's vehicle, but all is quiet inside. To hell with the health department, bbc, let's open it back up! DougR |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 03 Aug 99 - 10:30 AM Tried to get in to deliver the pistachio icecream and rasberry jello and found a notice tacked to the door:"Closed by order of the health department". Well, I suppose a thousand cockroaches can't be wrong, but where did everyone go? To the campfire? And what shall I do with this tanker load, it's starting to set? |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Bert Date: 02 Aug 99 - 04:56 PM Whitbread Trophy for me. Dahn the 'atch Bill. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: LEJ Date: 02 Aug 99 - 04:35 PM I'll have a Whitbread Best Bitters, and Cheers Bill! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 02 Aug 99 - 04:01 PM Yoo hoo, Lonesome, I'm back! Yeah, I know, I said 1 day off & took two. How was I to know that 5 of my guests from Saturday would stay over & not leave till Sunday afternoon?! We had a wonderful time, though. Just saw Bill off at the train station, back to JFK to England. Made me sad to see him go. Let's have a round for him. What'll you have? This one's on me! Love you, Bill! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Big Mick Date: 02 Aug 99 - 11:04 AM *^&$**$@@#XX^%&*.......grumbling other unprintable comments about that damn Koko.......How the hell does she always find me........*&*^&%$#*&@#$^%........Leej, get me a couple of doubles of John Jameson's very finest......Huh???.........Goes back to my time in the Navy, one mad night on R&R in Bangkok, some guy hands me a pipe and says "Try some of this" and I wake up the next day next to Koko.......hopped the first military transport back to 'Nam.......she has been pursuing me since..........Think I got rid of her this time, told her there was the Love Sensei that got me my black belt living in Canada........Name of Rick Fielding, but known to women around the world as *BIG* Rick, if you get my drift. She caught the first train out this morning.....but not before one last fling.........damn near killed me. Now where the hell did the FAI ONE go????......I would much prefer getting beat by the flying possum move than that damn Koko 2 and 1/2 back flip with a half gainer maneuver........I need to wrassle some guys........I can beat them............ |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 02 Aug 99 - 09:31 AM Hmm quiet day in the tavern, must have been a hard weekend. Then, sorry barkeep you'll just have to listen to my tiple jokes: [substitute own least favourite instrument] "Why has the tiple player been staring at that can of frozen orange juice for so long?" "It says concentrate on the label." "Why do his shoes have TGIF on them?" "It means Toes Go In First." "Why do you do if a tiple player throws a pin at you?" "Run, it means he has a grenade in his teeth". [originally dumb blonde jokes recycled in more politically correct form] |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Roger the zimmer Date: 02 Aug 99 - 07:01 AM Monday delivery time again. It's so hot on both sides of the Atlantic, thought you'd like a cold pool rather than the hot tub so I've got a tanker of ice-cream here: it's the coolest brand: Sonny & Brownie's (TM). BLUEberry,naturally. Hot fudge sauce is optional.,Br> Don't let that Miss Koko get near me. Whooee, whooeee: that woman is killin' me TTFN |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: LEJ Date: 01 Aug 99 - 07:16 PM Why, hello there Koko... oh, I'm sorry, I mean Miss Kong. You are looking for WHOM? Big Mick, you say. Let's see, we had a Big Mike, and there was a Big Rick... neither one, huh? Howsabout another Banana Daquiri while we work this one out. On the house. Hey, where you going? No, I meant it's a free drink, not literally ON the House! Ma'am that drain pipe's not going to hold you! Oh, Jeez... UNGOWA KOKO! UNGOWA! Anyway, get some more Sominex into Neil Lowe, he's still jabbering about Clear Light and telling me "Hey, LEJ! You're off the freakin' bus!!" What's this contraption on the bar? I don't know, I bought it from one of Peter T's pals, said he'd let me have it for a song. So I did MacArthur Park and he ran out of here covering his head about the time I hit the second "Oh Nooooo". He says it's a SAD-O-METRIC Exerciser and whoa! WATCH OUT FOR THAT BUTTON...DON'T..
" The old hometown looks the same Sob! Now you've done it! sniff |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Dave Swan Date: 01 Aug 99 - 06:19 PM Hey Mick, There's a BIG woman at the door, says she came for the banana jello and YOU. At least I think that's what she's saying, my sign language is not that good. Anyhow, looks like wants the best three falls out of four, she gets to keep you and the bananas if she wins. She's playing a Uni-Royal like a concertina, got feet like hands, says her name's Koko and you her man. Let somebody else write the blues tune pal, you had better use the secret escape hatch behinf the bar, the one we use when ASCAP shows up. Hey Leej, gimmee a hand, let's see if we can stall her. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: WyoWoman Date: 01 Aug 99 - 06:12 PM I wanna see them Polaroids... WW |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Bill D Date: 01 Aug 99 - 06:12 PM ahhh...that 'frightning' should be 'sprightly'...Dick transcribed it... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Bill D Date: 01 Aug 99 - 06:09 PM from the database...yrs truly's addition to a Craig Johnson song
"Since these new friends have come our way |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: jon a Date: 31 Jul 99 - 06:52 PM If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise, If you go down to the woods today you'll never believe your eyes, For every bear that ever ther was, is gathered there for certain because, today's the day the teddy bears have their Rave Up. No I'll quit there and have another drink; talking of woods if there is any woods rum behind that bar I'll take a small one please, and maybe a packet of cheese and onion crisps (potato chips if you like), and a couple of pickled eggs to go with that, just open the pack and drop the eggs on top, that'll do nicely. s'pose I ought to have another attempt at this bodran, just what is the right tension? How do you know when you have it right? it's all very nice having somple instructions that a five year old can understand, but then at 35 i've got no chance!
right just another half hour then I better go and plumb in the new washing machine so I can wash the kids clothes tonight,dont you just hate it when appliances blow up mid task? 'nother choccy any one? Jon |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Peter T. Date: 31 Jul 99 - 05:32 PM T'ain't me, MA, I love teddy bears, and their picnics -- especially those little Wedgewood bear cups! -- 'twas "Concerned in Canada" and his mew machine. Happy times! Bon temps roulez. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: MAG (inactive) Date: 31 Jul 99 - 12:28 PM Get outta here, Peter! Today is our Teddy Bear Picnic at work, the final event of our Summer Reading Program. Picture: large crowd of children, each hugging their favorite stuffed toy. Blankets, sack lunches. Vlunteers roaming with armloads of bear stories. Yours truly with her very own adult size Dearly Beloved Bear and Tak, serenading with Teddy Bear Picnic, and, yes Art, WALTAZING WITH BEARS. If Gordon Bok can do it, so can I. this is not a day for sadness and grief; it is a bbb-yoo-tee-full, if hot, day here in the glorious NORTHWEST, and, after I grab some coffee and doughnuts here at the Tavern, I'm off to my picnic. All merry folk invited. MA |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Peter T. Date: 31 Jul 99 - 09:43 AM Small, concerned figure enters, wearing large raincoat covering bulky object. Moves past jello pit, Guiness tank, World Wrestling Federation cappuccino dispenser, towards the dark part of the bar. Sits down, watches mayhem in the distance, sighs. Digs into pocket, pulls out pencil. Writes on cocktail napkin 3 times in block letters: Yearn While You Earn? Takes off raincoat revealing SAD-O-METRIC EXERCISER. Places Exerciser on table, pulls out wrench and hammer. Goes to work. 5 minutes later, smiles. "That should do it!" Looks around, Saturday crowd. "Let's try a 6.5." Adjusts dial, presses button. Machine whirrs into action. Drawer opens, picture of Eddy Arnold appears. Music begins:
"You give your hand to me and then you say hello
Outside passersby begin to glance at their wrists. Business men strolling over suspension bridges eye the distance to the water. A partial eclipse of the sun begins.
"No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night
In small apartments, women turn their mirrors to the wall. Traffic slows to accommodate non-existent funerals. In the tavern, the SADOMETRIC machine begins to whimper. The small, concerned figure says: "Let's try 7." and turns dial. Picture of Eddy Arnold replaced by picture of Emmy Lou Harris. Voice shifts into aching, exquisite stratospheric grief.
The sun is completely dark. Birds trail tears as they fly. The arms of chairs wrap around themselves in pain. Drinks order other drinks to try and forget. The SAD-O-METRIC exerciser shudders in heart-rending grief, but continues:
"You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye
Hushed global weeping. Unbroken silence. Broken silence. Moment of embarrassment. Furniture pulls itself together again. Jello reconstitutes itself. Splashing begins again in various jacuzzis. Small concerned figure smiles to self, puts machine back under raincoat.
"Oh, Miss bbc, ma'am, could I have a soda water, please?"
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: alison Date: 31 Jul 99 - 02:27 AM Hahaha........... I'm game for the hot fudge licking.... are we still a team Harpy? ...We whopped them at wrestling we could win this too...... Thanks for the songs Mick....... (should I tell him I'm too young to have heard of any of them do you think???.... ) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: WyoWoman Date: 31 Jul 99 - 01:11 AM It's hot here. I'm having a bellini, a lady-like little drinkie, I'll admit. Mmmm. Champagne and peach nectar all whirred up with ice like a big ol' slushy. Not my usual "belly-up" fare, but I've had a hard day and I'd like something refreshing before I go over and watch Big Mick warm up for his grudge match with Fair Alison. Did I hear this correctly? They're wrassling this time in beef consomme with just a whisper of fin herbes? Consomme-ing their relationship, are they? WW |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: bbc Date: 31 Jul 99 - 12:41 AM Well, I *have* been doing some spitting & polishing at home tonight, but I stopped in to pass out a drink or two. Let's see, Lonesome, did you get that round out to everybody, that Mick's covering? Whiskey for himself, a draft for Susan. kat, was that chocolate shake for drinking or sitting in? Hard to keep things straight in here, lately. Cooling off sure would feel good, though! Remember, Leej, I have to have the day off tomorrow. Big doings at home! Tell you all about it after! 'Night all! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!! From: Cap't Bob Date: 31 Jul 99 - 12:04 AM Ya chocolate lovers better go easy.....licken up all that stuff. I just found an empty case of EX LAX in Mick's guitar case. Maybe he just wants to get even for his defeat last night. Must be the reason he has that silly possum eating chocolate look on his face. Whoeeeeeee......I'm getten the urge....somebody save my sea.... t..... |
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