A Heartfelt Appeal,,,

Subject: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 07:29 PM

This is really difficult for me but I feel it is time to leave the closet. I have been living a lie since I was a teenager. I grew up in the 50s and 60s when it was compulsory to be abused by your best friends horse, discover you have dispraxlexnumobula and protest about what man was doing to the world population of the spotted stoat. Since then I have pretended to have all sorts of issuess. I toyed with being an anorexic lesbian for a while - After all I like women and every time I look in a mirror I see a fat bloke. But it didn't work out. The next phase was to saw off one of my legs but I chickened out (See - I have a healthy streak of cowardice too!)

So, at long last, I am openly admiting - I am normal. There, I have said it now. I know it's a shock but I feel much better for it. It is a bewildering condition that affects so many people. We are easy to spot because we spend our lives doing normal things. Instead of ranting and raving about all the worlds ills, we get on and do something. Instead of rioting we go into shops through the day and, this may be difficult to believe, pay for things. We are neither super intelligent autistics nor pig ignorant doctors. We can read, write, sing, dance and do all sorts of things that we are subjected to guilt for. And the trouble is no-one knows we are there. It is as if we never existed.

Spare a thought for my plight, and that of billions of others. Send petitions to all the worlds governments. Post to every site on the internet. Above all, remember to support us in those little ways. Send money. Buy beer. Offer free passes to mainstream concerts.

Go on. You know you want to.

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 07:30 PM

Sorry - BS please elves. I forgot. Hey! Maybe I am getting dementia...

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: gnu
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 08:06 PM

It's OKAY... really.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: kendall
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 08:06 PM

It's ok to be normal, just don't flaunt it.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: bobad
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 08:25 PM

Scary.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 08:29 PM

LIAR!!!

There are no normal people...

B;~)

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 09:24 PM

Normal? Well, I'm going to assume that you can extend your arms and things, and that you're finite. Thus, normal would be:

Suppose L is a field extension of a field K. In other words, K is a subfield of L. L is termed a finite normal extension of K if it is both a finite extension and a normal extension of K. More explicitly, it satisfies the following equivalent conditions:

    L is a finite extension of K, and if p(x) \in K[x] is an irreducible polynomial having a root in L, then p splits completely into linear factors over L[x].
    L is a finite extension of K, and the minimal polynomial of any element of L splits completely over K.
    L is the splitting field over K of a finite collection of irreducible polynomials.
    L is the splitting field over K of a single polynomial (not necessarily irreducible).
    L is the splitting field over K of a single irreducible polynomial.

I hope that this makes it clear.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 02:32 AM

See! People deny our condition and then try to blind us with science! Or is it baffle us with bullshit..?

As for you Mr M - Why shouldn't we flaunt it? I'm going to arrange a normal pride parade this year just for that!

:D

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:07 PM

Hey - I'm only 60% Normal - there is hope for me yet!

How about you?

Maybe I can save the dyslexic, autistic, (chose your current favourite ethnic minority) trans-gendered, spotty woodpecker after all!

Yay!

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: gnu
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:33 PM

I got a 70... not that it matters a flyin f

What is folk anyway?

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:34 PM

Gnu - fcuk off. :-)

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: MartinRyan
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:48 PM

Maybe I can save the dyslexic, autistic, (chose your current favourite ethnic minority) trans-gendered, spotty woodpecker after all!


You leave woodpeckers out of this - some of my best friends are... Oh - never mind!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Will Fly
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:54 PM

You're a Gnome - why are you posting below the line on Mudcat? You should know that GUESTs and Gnomes are not allowed to start BS threads!

Normal indeed... the cheek of it!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: gnu
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 06:07 PM

Dave... you did not specify... was that a flyin fuck off or just a normal fuck off? I dunno if I can manage a flyin fuck off tonight... been a long day eh? My wings are tired.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: saulgoldie
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 06:08 PM

How very brave of you, Dave, to admit being normal so freely. Really. Most people would not flaunt it.

Saul

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 06:15 PM

Gnu - It wasn't one of them at all! It was a normal fcuk - Just like the noise you make. Remember? Bnag?

D gT

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 06:51 PM

Awferchrissakes...............

Geeziz Dave, what kinda' shit are you trying to shovel here? You are not normal. You are undoubtedly fucked up and I can prove it to you! The very fact that you seem to believe that you are normal proves you're well and truly fucked up. If you wish you can also be fucked over upon certain occasions but you are definitely fucked up.


Spaw

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:00 PM

That was an irrelevant test. Try this one. There are no correct answers, but you will be judged on spelling and grammar.

1. Do you prefer beer or sex?
2. Would you rather be run over by a truck or play the banjo?
3. True or False: Catspaw49 is a space alien.
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you rate yourself?
5. On which side do/did you part your hair?
6. What was the lowest educational level you have had?
7. Were you at the coronation of Elizabeth II?
8. How about the coronation of Elizabeth I?
9. Would you prefer a Honda Gold Wing or Harley-Davidson?
10. Do you feel that normalcy is overrated?

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:14 PM

Yes me too, I am far more normal than I have ever cared to admit.
I was hoping as a kid that I must be a alien, but as it turned out I was merely adopted.

I was hoping I had a unique mind when it came to spacial cosmic concepts but again I was only dyslexic.

I had always hoped that my music would evolve into compositions of extramusicular dimensions so new it would be like visiting another planet, but alas no.

Having the courage to carry on despite normalcy, is in iteslf an heroic journey.

Carry on you wayward normals.


In Buffalo I even lived on Normal Ave. You can google map it.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Max
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:15 PM

I don't know what's going on here so I'm going to object.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:21 PM

That is a very normal thing to do.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 05:20 AM

My Mum used to have a saying - 'If he's normal, I know where there is a house full'. Anyway, on with the quiz

1. Do you prefer beer or sex?
Why decide?
2. Would you rather be run over by a truck or play the banjo?
Depends on the make of truck
3. True or False: Catspaw49 is a space alien.
I always read it as Catspaw69.
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you rate yourself?
I don't have scales. What do you think I am. A fish?
5. On which side do/did you part your hair?
The back.
6. What was the lowest educational level you have had?
A third degree in gibberish
7. Were you at the coronation of Elizabeth II?
Who?
8. How about the coronation of Elizabeth I?
What about it?
9. Would you prefer a Honda Gold Wing or Harley-Davidson?
Royal Enfield Bullet
10. Do you feel that normalcy is overrated?
Yo.

Well, doc, what's the verdict?

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 07:40 AM

1. Do you prefer beer or sex?
Yes.
2. Would you rather be run over by a truck or play the banjo?
OK, play the banjo, if I knew how. Frailing, bluegrass, Pete Seeger style--it's all good. Yes, I like banjo!
3. True or False: Catspaw49 is a space alien.
Yes. (But aren't we all?)
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you rate yourself?
1 & 10
5. On which side do/did you part your hair?
No.
6. What was the lowest educational level you have had?
Life.
7. Were you at the coronation of Elizabeth II?
Wasn't everyone? (Um, who?)
8. How about the coronation of Elizabeth I?
Wasn't everyone? (Um, who?)
9. Would you prefer a Honda Gold Wing or Harley-Davidson?
Yes, of course. But I don't ride anymore; I know my limits. My "motorcycle" is now an Infinity GS37S.
10. Do you feel that normalcy is overrated?
"Normal" is a statistic. No one I have ever known is normal. For example, I have never heard of any Thanksgiving that in any way resembles that Norman Rockwell painting. For starters.

Saul

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 08:52 AM

Well, both of you are definitely in the abnormal range. Solidly, with a standard deviation. That being the case, the test instrument has to be redone because it is normal to be abnormal. Or maybe the test instrument is okay and the premises should be readjusted.

I'll just readjust the assumption underlying the test. It's easier that way, and it's the political thing to do.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:07 AM

I liked you better when you were an anorexic lesbian.

I am only half normal, whatever the feck that is.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:16 AM

How can you possibly think you are normal? You hang around a folk music site (what is folk music, anyway?) and, one assumes, listen to and/or play folk music. Or, horrors, both! That is, in and of itself, a strong indication of an aberrant personality.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:59 AM

Shit! Never thought of that. Thanks Art - You have saved my (in)sanity :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 12:54 PM

"Normal is as normal does!"



Oh, I do love semi-tautologies

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 06:23 AM

Surely if it's only semi-taut it is a slackology. Isn't it?

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:37 AM

I think I'll start Normal Anonymous Group. ( Hello, I'm Dave and I'm normal...) A 12-step programme:- You have to admit to it, agree you can't control it, hand it over to a Higher Power etc. Perhaps members could explain how they finally overcame the Normality and managed to acquire some character quirks and defects. ("I'm a Recovering Normal Person...") Slip-ups ("My Bank Account is overdrawn and I hate my mother-in-law.." (gasps) could be sympathetically dealt with. Their families could join Normal-Anon.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:54 AM

Hey Eliza - If you think you're Dave you have problems of your own...

:D tG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 08:14 AM

Well, Dave, I was imagining your good self participating at my therapy group.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 12:18 PM

Normal AND delusional... Boy, I wish I had your problems :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:57 PM

"Normal" spelled backwards is "Lamron." Lamron was the ancient goddess of celibacy.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 07:54 PM

*Act* normal. That's crazy enough.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 11:19 AM

Nothing normal about celibacy either! Unless you happen to be married...

Ouch, oh, no, sorry dear. Didn't mean you of course...

:D

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 12:19 PM

LOL Dave! By the way, (seriously now) have you ever actually MET a normal person? Has anyone? Because I can't honestly say that I have!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 12:42 PM

It's difficult to tell, Eliza - Which is what makes it such a serious condition...

:D

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 12:45 PM

Ah! So they have a cunning disguise eh? Pretending to be quite batty while underneath they're sane and controlled? Sinister!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 11:03 AM

Normal can be a statistical term... were a hippie freak to go to Burning Man I, um, they would *be* normal there!

So if you're normal now, all you have to do is go somewhere weird, and you won't be normal any more, shut the door(*)...


*This is, after all, a music forum!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 03:13 PM

My little voices assure me that I am quite normal.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 10:57 PM

I have nothing against normal people, but I'd never let my sister marry one.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,jts
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 11:19 PM

When I was young I asked if I was normal. I was told that I was average and thought "That's just mean."

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 02:31 AM

I'd go too see a medium about that, jts.

Seriously though - Is averageness any better or worse than normality? I wonder if any serious studies have been done on it? I have not received the donations yet btw. Are they lost in the post?

:D

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Paul Burke
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 06:53 PM

Dave:

By "normal" do you mean you are normally distributed - in a Gaussian shape? Shaped like this?

Time to cut down on the fish and chips, or the women. One or the other.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 06:57 PM

I'm not sure I find this funny. It looks like an attempt to mock those who have trouble with or relating to normalcy.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Greg B
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 07:02 PM

I think I know your brother, Abby.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Paul Burke
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 07:21 PM

I just noticed that earlier post by the irregular Irishman (who may not be Irish). The gist of it is, once you've wiped the science (or BS) out of your eyes, that you contain within yourself all information. That's the upside. You also contain all disinformation incuding the History of Everything That Never Happened. You'll appreciate that that's quite a lot bigger than all the things that did happen. And interspersed, there's a whole load of gibberish and bunk. You also include the entire contents ofJorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges Acevedo's Library of Babel, repeated an infinite number of times.

This explains a lot.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 10 Nov 11 - 08:50 AM

In that case I am Lamron then!

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 11 - 12:41 PM

Lamron? Artemis.

Subject: RE: A Heartfelt Appeal,,,
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 10 Nov 11 - 01:13 PM

Simetra normal? Angkooler?