What is the worst song you ever heard?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:05 PM

Has anyone mentioned "Cinderella Rockerfella" by ester and abi ofarim. "Careless Hands" sung by des o'conner, in fact anything sung by des o'conner.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:17 AM

How about "After The Loving" by Englbert or "Sky Pilot" by the Animals.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Den
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:09 AM

dwditty and 'spaw holy Jasus the tears are still running down my face, there's nothing like a good laugh. I have to agree with the feckin' Unicorn. I absolutely refuse to play it, don't even know the words. How about Turn me loose by Loverboy or Mandy or Anything by Tony Orlando and Dawn.
Leprosy there are pieces falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh leprosy came suddenly

Does that qualify Peter?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 10:15 AM

Worst Beatle Song is complicated. I suppose Revolution #9 is -- Many dislike "Old Brown Shoe", "Octopus' Garden", "Hey Bulldog" or other fillers, but I have always had a special hate for "Across The Universe" which I thought was pretentious crap. I hate "Imagine" too, even more than "Across", but that is John all by hisself. ("I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one" -- Please.)
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: alison
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 10:06 AM

Teddy bear by ? Red Sovine (or was that Bovine??)... you know little crippled boy on the CB radio and all the truckers queuing to give him lifts... BARRRRRFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!

One of our radio stations issues a challenge to bands to do "their" versions of famous songs (that's how Rolf Harris came to do "stairway to heaven")..... well they had a fantastic version of "I write the songs" a few weeks back... the words were the same but the fella (Diesel) did it with a raunchy blues riff in a minor key, with occasional bits of slide guitar thrown in.... it was excellent..... there you go all you blues players give that a try....

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 09:51 AM

Despite the ms fetching £78,000 at auction "I am a Walrus" must come close!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 09:44 AM

It seems that Barry Manilow is getting off relatively unscathed here. And how about that Minnie Ripperton classic, Lovin' You (is easy cause you're Beautiful). What the heck was that?

Has anyone mentioned "The Night Chicago Died"? What a horrid song that was.

I agree whole heartedly about Light My Fire, I wonder what made Jim Morrison think he was brilliant? He certainly never tired of telling the world of his genius. What a feckin' eejit.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: scoattie
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:11 AM

The British Grenadiers!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:05 AM

Yeah brother seed...that's a winner, uh loser, er uh..let's go with piece of crap! Could never stand that turkey either.............But for a singularly dumb lyric, its hard to beat:

"Someone left the cake out in the rain."

I mean, what the fock is that anyway? I must have heard "MacArthur Park" half a dozen times before I convinced myself that was actually the line!!! Why or who would do that? You're right............

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

But you do it so much better!

Spaw

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:47 AM

A couple of notes: By "Starry Starry Night," I suppose you guys meant "Vincent" (a silly, presumptious song in which Don McLean tells Van Gogh that he, of all the people in the world, understands why Vincent cut his ear off and shot himself.

And "Tallahachee"? Try "The Ballad of Billy Joe": the first couple of times I heard it I liked it--it was kind of an interesting picture of a family falling apart, of a girl who has a curious lack of affect, to use a psychological term (no, I don't mean effect). In an earlier thread someone suggested that what the girl and Billy Joe threw off the Tallahachee bridge was their baby. I don't know; that had never occurred to me--it certainly could have motivated his suicide. I'll admit that after a few dozen hearings it began to wear on me.

How about the Everly Brothers song "When"?

When
When you smile
When you smile at me,
Well
Well I know
Our love will always be.

But I still think the worst song of all time is the Doors "Light My Fire"

Ya know that it would be untrue,
Ya know that I would be a liar,
If I was tuh say to you,
Girl, we just can't go much higher.
Come on, baby, light my fire,
Come on, baby, light my fire,
Come on, baby, light my figh------urr.

The time to hesitate is through,
No time to wallow in the mire,
Try, and we will only lose,
And our love become a funeral pyre,
Come on, baby, light my fire...

Lyrics just don't get any fockin' stupider than that. Talk about forced rhymes, fer Gawd's sake. What the bloody hell does the damned thing mean: "Try, and we will only lose [try what? To wallow in the mire?} and our love [will] become a funeral pyre." Wha-a-a-a-t? And that verse makes more sense than the first one. I'd say that the only thing that song had going for it was Jim Morrison, but Jose Feliciano also had a hit version. To borrow an expression from my friend Patsclaw:

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 01:00 AM

You worked with that boy too didn't you? Did he write that or did you?

Spaw

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:52 AM

"It's knowing I can get some snatch without having to commit to you at all,
That makes me leave my sleeping bag rolled up and stashed behind your couch..."

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:49 AM

Ahhhh.........You have some excellent choices here. A fine lot to choose from. I like Barb Blessing's class system too. Let's see now...when I was in college little Bobby's smash hit was about tops on my list. Y'all remember "Honey" huh? Went something like.....

See the tree how big its grown
And now you're dead
I can't get blown
And I've got an itch.

When you were alive
It cost twenty-five
Why did you always charge so much
You fuckin' pig?

Well something like that anyway........

And for a tune that sticks......It might have been the flip side of "Unicorn" but I know it was out about the same time....Everytime the Irish Rovers get mentioned around here, I sing the chorus of "Black Velvet Band" for days.

Spaw

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:47 AM

WyoWoman, I can't quite make those words fit the tune I know - Tie a yellow ribbon, yes - Tie a f***ing ribbon, yes; but a yellow f***ing does not work. What tune do you use?

Jon

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From:
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:36 AM

"The night I talked to the Lord (on my CB radio)." Sounds like a satire, but they played it legit. It was on a compilation of trucker songs during the CB craze of the mid-1970s. Been trying to track down the lyrics for years. Want to add it to my Newgrass' bands repetoire.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: WyoWoman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:11 AM

Tie a Yellow F***ing Ribbon...

makes me twitch

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 11:58 PM

"That's what you get for loving me," which is, unfortunately, not musically bad.

I LIKE Starry starry night.

Also, James Taylor's "Fire and Rain."

Has something to do with my sister offing herself after her husband dropped dead of a heart attack.

To quote dave: I swear I am not making this up.

Otherwise, we do all need to vent on the ones that make us crazy every now and then.

MA

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 11:30 PM

Eric B. did "Little Gomez" live on my old radio show (The Flea Market) on N.P.R. back around 1983 in Chicago & I got pretty pissed off. Lots o' kids were in the audience that day at the Old Town School Of Folk Music. It was one of the first shows after we went national if I recall. Just wasn't appropriate. I've never been able to tolerate that song since then.

Art

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 11:24 PM

" I write the songs that make the whole world sing..." My God what an ego.

" Why do birds suddenly appear
everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.." This image is so funny that it nearly redeems the idiocy of the song.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 11:12 PM

Well, nobody's mentioned this one yet: All God's Critters. Pre-flamed for your reading enjoyment:
1) Bill Staines wrote it - he's a great songwriter.
2) I love this song
3) My kids love this song
My reply: I still hate it.
Oh, and I don't believe I've seen "Billy, Don't be a Hero" yet. I think it's probably on Dave Barry's list along with "Honey."

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: dwditty
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 10:26 PM

I AM...I Said. I could never get by Neil trying to have a conversation with the furniture.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Barbara
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 10:01 PM

Well, as far as I'm concerned, "Starry Starry Night" is right up there with "McArthur Park" for let's all slit our wrists and have a pity party for the survivors.... Thank you Don McLean!
The Unicors Song belongs to a different but closely related group of songs, I think. The "Sing it again and I'll kill you" family of cute lyrics and hypnotic tunes. Another of these is "Little Gomez" by Eric Bogle.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: paddymac
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 08:45 PM

Even a good song can be butchered and made into a horrible experience, sometimes even for the singer. I think maybe the best approach is to think of songs like humankind's other favorite endeavor: the worst you ever had is better than none at all.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jack (Who is called Jack)
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 06:31 PM

Lamarca, my favorite is Quaaludes Again.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Stewie
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 06:24 PM

'My Dollies Would Cry' as sung by early bluegrass duo Connie and Babe - this is so bad that it is actually good, if you know what I mean.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 06:04 PM

lamarca,

I know, and I feel bad for hating it solely because I adore Shel Silverstein.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 06:04 PM

lamarca,

I know, and I feel bad for hating it solely because I adore Shel Silverstein.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: lamarca
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:46 PM

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, we had a fun thread called Folk Songs to Ditch that covered the ground for Folk Music pretty thoroughly.

Dave Barry has done the world a great service by publishing Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs, an insightful examination of such timeless wonders like "You're Having My Baby", "In the Year 2525" and "MacArthur Park"(which, in 1995, readers of his column voted THE alltime worst song). I can still grimly remember being in our junior high "jazz" band as we attempted to play it; if I ever remotely fancied the song, that experience killed it...

Cara, for some reason "The Unicorn" has entered American consciousness as being an "Irish" song, probably because of The Irish Rovers recording, but it was yet another creation of the deliciously warped mind of the late, great, Shel Silverstein (or should I say Sheldon O'Silverstein?), who also gave us "A Boy Named Sue", "I Got Stoned and I Missed It", "Freakin' at the Freaker's Ball", etc.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: clj
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:45 PM

Oh, I see. Anytime you write the name of a song/CD a magical green link appears. In Cara's case it was amusing. I guess it should be the worst WELL KNOWN songs since I have written some which had to be taken a safe distance from the house and buried. I had forgotten 'Seasons in the Sun', but I did remember the one which went "I've seen England, I've seen France, I've seen someone's underpants, but I've never been to me" or words to that effect. How about the theme to "Three's Company"? clj

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Les B
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:37 PM

"Oh Lord it's Hard to be Humble" is one, and vying for top honors is the country song of a few years ago about the woman who puts up neon lights and a bar at home so her husband wouldn't go out drinking. The first time I heard it I thought it was a clever Smothers Brothers parody, and then found to my chagrin that it was for real !!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Tincap
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:28 PM

Worse song ever? Too many come to mind but Any version of MacArthur Park is sort of like fingers on the blackboard for me.True torture for me would be Donna Summer and Richard Harris doing it as a duet! Also right at the top of the list,Grandma's Feather Bed by John Denver... oh and while I am at it...Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Alice
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:21 PM

Tallahachee... that's the one. Thanks, Cara.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 05:06 PM

Billy Joe McAllister jumped off the Tallahachee bridge? I like that.

Waltzing with Bears I hate too. And "I Am My Own Grandpa". Uuuggghhh. BUT, I find that I can't help singing along anyway. Then I catch myself humming some of the hated ones later, "Grandpa" especially. It drives me absolutely crazy.

Damn, they're in my head just from mentioning them. AAhh!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Alice
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:41 PM

Oh, yes, and the one with the line 'Hey did you happen to see the most beautiful girl who walked out on me, tell her I'm cryin.' (oh,brother)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: kendall
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:38 PM

lets forget I Love A Rainy Night that kind of monotonous rubbish makes me wish I could go deaf at will.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Alice
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:37 PM

tied among these nominees - Wolverton Mountain, Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town, The Ballad of The Green Beret (my brother was a green beret in VietNam, and he used to joke about this one), Love American Style, and whatever that one was about throwing something off the Chatahoochie bridge.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:33 PM

ooohhh Cara..YES! The Unicorn song! (I can see we have similar ummmmmm..'criteria')

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:23 PM

well, I don't KNOW most of those you all mention...but of all the songs that many folkies MIGHT know that just grate on me....

"Circle of the Sun" by Sally Rogers...usually it takes several hearings for me to be sure a song doesn't suit me...but this one was neat for one verse, ok for 2, and by 3 & 4 I KNEW.....it is not the tune, which is only mildly mindless, but the lyrics, after a couple of verses, that just go nowhere with silly images and mundane metaphor...

(yes, I know...some love it..."de gustibus non disputandem")

there are songs which I can take if they are not done too often..("Waltzing with Bears", "A Place in the Choir"(all God's critters), "Lovely Agnes"...etc..

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:19 PM

The freakin' Unicorn Song makes my whole body hurt. I detest it. Close on its heels are Margaritaville, Brown-Eyed Girl, and (bravely, now) Whiskey in the Jar.

You'd think I worked in an Irish bar that caters to tourists, huh?

One of the Irish pub players I know gave up the Unicorn Song for Lent one year and refused to play it during that time. He came back months later, and sure enough someone requested it during the first set (people's love for this song truly astounds me). He told the requestor that he had given the song up for Lent and enjoyed it so much that he had decided never to pick it up again. And I've never heard him play it since.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Dan from Boston
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 04:15 PM

I think that by "worst" you must mean the ones that irritated you they most, at least, that's how I read most of the responses above. But that doesn't make them bad musically. If they were, they probably never would have entered your concousness. Instead, we have examples above of some pretty old songs, ones people have apparently remembered for decades. How come? Do we love to remember what we dispise?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Marion
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 03:52 PM

OK, I'll be brave and admit that I like both "If I had a million dollars" and "Seasons in the Sun"; they're not on my top 100 list, but maybe my top 1000 favourite songs.

Come on Emily, don't be shy...

Marion

Subject: Speaking of worst songs..
From:
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 03:42 PM

This one is so bad, I love it. For you youngsters who don't remember the cold war, tt dates back to the time the Russians shot down a U-2 spy plane of ours. Eisenhower denied that we had any such planes over Russia. Then the Russians produced the pilot, Francis Gary Powers who was alive and well. It was the first time that I can recall a U.S. President being caught in a blatant lie. Anyhow, out of the whole sordid mess came a song to the tune of the Kate Smith classic, "There's a Star-Spangled Banner Waving Somewhere." The first verse goes:

In a lonely prison cell in Godless Russia, Where no Bible ever speaks His precious name, Sits the boy who flew the U-2 for his country, So no Pearl Harbor'd ever come again.

If anybody has the rest of the words, I'd be grateful.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: sophocleese
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 03:16 PM

Achy braky heart, I never even bothered to learn how to spell it.

You make me feel like a virgin.

I once heard the kids in my husband's church being led in a song called "The Weapon of Prayer". The title alone annoyed me.

And after spending four years in ahighschool where they played the Canadian National Anthem every morning on a failing tape player that always played at different speeds I can't say I'm delighted with that song.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: --seed
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 03:06 PM

Someone asked for lyrics to this one last year inspiring an interesting thread consisting of assaults on the song and its performer (Kenny Rogers): "Coward of the County." And another of his songs that drives me up the wall is "The Unknown Love." Both stupid macho-country garbage.

--seed

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: emily rain
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 02:47 PM

two of these songs (and no, i'm not telling which ones!) are songs i absolutely love. somehow, i think that must illustrate how a song becomes "dearly loathed" in the first place; it walks that fine line between heartwarming and sickeningly corny, and then gets sung over and over and over and over and over and over... then falls right off the cliff.

here's one on its way down for me. sing in three with monkey-like grin and gentle swaying:

"i see the moon up over my head
it's full and it's round and it shines on my bed
and i wonder, someday, will i live there instead?
on the cheek of my friend, the moon!

"i see the sun when night turns to day
it shines on my work and it shines on my play
when it sets, then i know it's the end of the day
and i might see my friend, the moon!

"i see the stars when daylight is done
they sparkle like diamonds and bits of the sun
and they're brightest and best when the moon takes a rest
when it's sleeping, my friend, the moon!"

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 02:02 PM

I'll give my vote to the song I wish I'd never heard - Young Banker. After 6 years of having to do this song every week for the same person (he used to help us by passing the hat round to collect the money for the club's funds and he got terribly upset - like it was a personal insult - if we tried to leave it out)in a local folk club, I grew to loath the song.

Jon

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Allan C.
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 01:24 PM

Usually the worst songs I have heard have been ones that were (in my opinion) inherently beautiful; but then were badly mangled by someone. Maybe they should be listed under the heading of most tragic rather than worst.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Tony Burns
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 01:23 PM

"Don't Worry, Be Happy!" (Makes me want to puke.)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: The Burren ranger
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 01:13 PM

Sunny....Tie A Yellow Ribbon....two Litle Boys(The Rolf Harris version)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jack (Who is called Jack)
Date: 30 Sep 99 - 01:05 PM

There's that song about rape from The Fantastiks.

There's 'Seasons in the sun' the pop tune lament of a dying man.

There's that song from The Gangs All Here, a Busby Berkley, Carmen Miranda Vehicle that they used as a setting for the Polka Dot Polka dance number. It had the memorable chorus...

Paducah, Paducah.

If you wanna you can rhyme it with bazooka

But you can't pooh-pooh Paducah

Its another name for paradise.

And I still absolutely despise Stookey's 'The Wedding Song'.