Worst pop song ever!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 10:25 PM

Yup, Billy Joel wins that prize all right. If I hear "Uptown Girl" it makes me "hurl" (well, not literally, but you know what I mean...). Not that he isn't good, as a performer and writer...he is...I just don't like most of his songs regardless.

NOW...I didn't realize when I launched this thread just how far it would go. What a torture it must have been for poor Mbo! But the darn thread is getting way too long...so...

I am now OFFICIALLY LAUNCHING PART 2 OF THIS THREAD. TAKE NOTE! THE DRECK WILL GO ON AND ON....if you other people so choose...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 05:18 PM

I concede, John, Billy Joel is the most derivative writer in pop music. There was a period in the 70's and 80's when you could tell who was hot by who Billy was imitating.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,John Bauman
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 03:16 PM

Actually Earl, I would say that a case could be made that Billy Joel is the most derivative writer in pop music today--but it's not all about sources--it's what you do with them.

John

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 01:22 PM

Bawitaba ba dang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jumps the boogie! Love that song!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 12:43 PM

ah gee..... I love John's Play Guitar........

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 12:29 PM

J C Mellancamp is the most derivative pop product in history. How can a man steal from so many sources and still use only two chords? My favorite was the song he did about not being a pop star. I saw the video on MTV.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,donkey
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 01:57 AM

that horrible, pathetic, kid rock sulky, cheap voacal effects song. dry heaving as i write!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,donkey
Date: 03 Sep 00 - 01:54 AM

she's got betty davis thighs

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 08:58 PM

Early to mid '70's there was a dreadful song called "Billy Don't Be A Hero" which seemed to me at the time to embody everything I hated about pop music and I was very firmly in the Tull/Stones/Led Zep camp at the time. Don't know the band and don't want to be reminded.

My favourite most hated song is "Colour My World" (I think it's called) by Chicago which had the worst use of sappy arpeggios imaginable. I once quit a band over it, and when asked to return for occasional gigs, guess what, I was a prick and wouldn't do it then either. (There were other issues but that was the biggest.) I figure there's only so much shit a musician has to eat to make a living.

"The Wedding Song" was another that I resisted playing in my reception band days. It fell into that catagory of songs I wouldn't even play to get laid. It's funny how I can't even hear it in my head right now. Blessing.

There are others. I'm so glad I have no specific knowledge of rap music, 'cause I've not heard song one that works for me.

"Annie's Song" (?) a Bob Denver song I think. A guy with a great voice, reasonable accompaniment chops, and absolutely dreadful songs. I once heard a muzak version of it somewhere which was even worse. However, I don't think I've ever refused to play it in a band, democracy and all that.

Nowadays I pay little attention to pop music per se but since the radio here in radio wasteland is always on in public places (a complaint all its own), I get enough to know I'm not missing much.

A guitar student of mine brought in a song by a band called Limp Bizkit last spring. It was lyically offensive, musically dumb, and poorly performed. I kept an open mind and let the kid exercise her option to learn it but in the end she disliked it too. Another blessing.

Hmmm, I sound like a bitch tonight. No gig. Mooh.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 07:41 PM

Mbo - actually, most of the radio stuff that I know is from quite a way back. I don't listen to it much now. I listened to a lot of radio in the 70's in particular, and of course I do hear it in restaurants, stores or wherever...so that's how it goes. It's the ADVERTISING that I can't stand...all those silly jingles...so that's why I don't listen to the radio. Same with TV...I don't watch it, except very rarely.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,alanabit
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 06:19 PM

Dear mbo, you sound so easy to please that it would take a harder man than me to begrudge you life's simple pleasures!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 05:49 PM

HEY!

I was just listening to "Free As A Bird" in the car today, and that is one great song! I play it a lot myself, and love it dearly. "Real Love" was also beautiful as well. Still I wonder what all the folkies are doing listening to the radio so much that they are being overexposed. Get thee back to your folk festivals and coffee houses and leave us alone!

--Matt as hell

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,alanabit
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 05:38 PM

Oh well - I guess we are going to have to allow you "Angie", because this offender has obviously caused you considerable distress, John. Point taken about undeserved airplay. I can't argue that one, but if we are taking into consideration unmerited airplay for rotten singles, why has no one mentioned that dirge "Free as a bird" and another faked "Beatles" track of four or five years back?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 05:06 PM

Sigh...come on...worst pop song ever? Jack & Diane? You people have way to much time on your hands. I'd pick that song to be a folk song many years in the future. The song belongs on the Fahrenheit 451 thread, not this one.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Steve Latimer
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 04:55 PM

I'm with Earl on this one.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 03:13 PM

Same here! Hold on to 16 as long as you can, change is gonna come real soon...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,John Bauman
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 02:19 PM

LOVE that little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 12:28 PM

WHATTTT??? "Jack and Diane" is a flippin' masterpiece! So is the whole rest of the "American Fool" album. Talk about passion and edginess! Yowsa!

Granted, it's sorta redneck, hell-raising stuff...but as that, it could hardly be any better. I love it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 12:01 PM

How about "Jack and Diane" by Cougar Mellancamp?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,John Bauman
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 11:43 AM

All the others were chosen. Besides, Angie is deserving of the list for two reasons 1. It's THAT bad. 2. It got its undeserved playtime 'cause it WAS a Stones tune. Just try to imagine it being premiere released by ANYONE else and tell me it would have benn on top 40's 15 minute song rotation for 2 years like it was as a Stones tune.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,alanabit
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 10:26 AM

John, I grant you that "Angie" by the Stones is pretty horrible, but that is surely by the Rolling Stones standards. I am not sure that it reaches the demanding standard of atrocity which this thread requires. Does it really deserve to be ranked alongside "Feelings", "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" or even my own candidate, "Ebony Eyes"? Played live, "Angie" was redeemed to some extent by Mick Taylor's guitar playing - and if you bought the single, you got the superb "Silver Train" on the B side. You appear to have had the good fortune never to have heard the Stones' 1976 abomination "Fool To Cry" - all about baby Jade sitting on Daddy Jagger's knee and telling him not to cry... Now there's a contender...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,John Bauman
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 09:37 AM

"ANGIE" by the Rolling Stones

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,slippers
Date: 02 Sep 00 - 09:01 AM

There are too many entries here and I haven't had time to read them all but sas nobody heard "Those Were The Bad Old Days", the eurovision song contest entrant from British group Koko (spelling?). It included astonishing lyrics such as "Remember who, walked into my life and put their foot inside my shoe..."

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 06:02 PM

Perfect!!! I love it!
Oh, LOL.

(Do it at song circle, I dare ya...)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 04:54 PM

Hey, I just looked up the Alanis Morisette Crappy Lyrics site...what a riot. I quickly composed a new song using their lyrics generator. This is great! I just need to come up with a few tunes now, and I've got a whole new songbook full of stuff with which to wow the rubes. My reputation should get a real shot in the arm (or maybe the head) from this...

Here it is...

"Why"

Dimwits, meatballs, morons
Why God, Why?
Meatballs, corporations, baseball caps
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this deep green horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of baseball caps
Like a Leonard Cohen character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Teenagers, dimwits, sidewalks
Why God, Why?
Baseball caps, sidewalks, morons
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this deep green disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of baseball caps
Like a Leonard Cohen character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this deep green misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of baseball caps
Like a Leonard Cohen character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 04:44 PM

I Alanis' song about the cross-eyed bear. And what's the deal with that Beck guy?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Hilary in NZ
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 07:01 AM

I'd just like to thank you guys, from the bottom of the world and my heart, for the best laugh I've had in ages. The worst popular song New Zealand has inflicted on the world (via Englebert Humpadink - which must be a contender for the most ludicrous "pop name") was Ten Guitars. I'd like to speak for my whole country when I say - sorry.
My daughter's vote is for boyzone, specifically the drippy "No matter where/what/whatever..." And she's 13!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 04:40 AM

Has no one noticed that Alanis Morisette is Jools Holland in drag? I don't think she's ever appeared on his show, which proves my theory that they're actually THE SAME PERSON and therefore will never be in the same room at the same time. Like Michael Jackson and Latoyah.

My main bone of contention with Alanis is her misuse of the word ironic. Rain on your wedding day isn't ironic, just unfortunate. Anyway, didn't she use to be a real disco dolly before a radical image change back in ye olde days of popular grunge.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 12:55 AM

I thought Alanis WAS god...

What was that movie again? Dogma?

I so wanted to see that!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Beanster
Date: 01 Sep 00 - 12:19 AM

Mbo, a bit presumptuous of you... Allow me to clarify. Although I do think greasy, long, tangled, flat hair stuck firmly to one's head so that even a gale force wind couldn't dislodge it is quite attractive, the woman's got more money than God and one would think that perhaps, she could invest in a bottle of shampoo every now and again.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 11:46 PM

Not a huge fan of Alanis' music, but I guess she's some kind of distant relative, so I can't HATE her. Lyrics generator was pretty funny.

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 11:38 PM

Why? I though things like that didn't bother you?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Beanster
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 11:31 PM

I'm sorry, but could someone please wash Alanis' hair??

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:39 PM

Oops.
Double post, sorry.

Can the pixies who run this site take care of deleting one of them for me please?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:29 PM

Yeah, Alanis is cool, but that site was funny!
(Although, perhaps "ironic" would be a better word here...)

I like Gillette too, when I'm in a certain mood.

Oh, that gives me another one:
"Don't want no short, short man" - Gillette
Especially the bonus track version. It's pathetic!
(Though it never fails to crack me up. ROFLMAOO!)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:28 PM

Yeah, Alanis is cool, but that site was funny!
(Although, perhaps "ironic" would be a better word here...)

I like Gillette, too, when I'm in a certain mood.

Oh, that gives me another one:
"Don't want no short, short man" - Gillette
Especially the bonus track version. It's pathetic!
(Though it never fails to crack me up. ROFLMAOO!)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:26 PM

Yeah, Alanis has done some kind of cool stuff.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 10:06 PM

Hey, Alanis is cool too...!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Beanster
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 09:54 PM

Bernard, thank you so much for that detailed (and I'm sure, painful-to-write) explanation of a Stylophone. And I hate to tell you this, but I LIKE what it sounds like--I never actually knew which instrument that was but you pointed it out so well, I know exactly, now! I promise, though, just for you, I WON'T learn to play one, AND I hereby swear that I will never endorse its use for any private or commercial purpose. Okay? lolol

Fibula Mattock--I can never thank you enough for posting that hilarious Alanis Morrisette crappy lyrics site! It's SO funny and it works! Priceless.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 09:45 PM

How about a pair of opposites:
"ring-a-ling" - Carlo
"the wanderer" - Dion
One of them wants to get married, and the other leaves whenever he gets serious...

I could probably just type all the titles off this CD, (20 Collector's Records of the 50s and 60s,)as the only somewhat good one on it is "Spirit of Woodstock" - Ernie Maresca.
One friend of mine is totally into metal, and he loves the early 90s stuff. He told me that he couldn't wait for his music to be the 'nostalgia' music. I told him they'd probably just package up all the 'crappy' songs from those years. He looked really startled.

~*sirepseh*~

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Charlie2
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 12:16 PM

I don't know, the music on the radio is so bad these days I can't even make comment. What is going on with that anyway?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: LR Mole
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 12:03 PM

Well, "They're coming to take me away, Ha-Haaaa)(sp?) had as the B-side the A-side pressed backward. But I suppose that was neither pop nor a tune. The same thing was done some years later with "Yellow Balloon" as "Noowllab Wolley", by Yellow Balloon. Hm.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Skivee
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 11:29 AM

The "Life is a rock, but the radio rolled me" song...I believe it was Tracy Ullman. And I dug it. Gave it a 79

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 31 Aug 00 - 11:20 AM

Danka Scheinn, by Wayne Newton, Tiny Bubbles, Don Ho, Life is a Rock, But the Radio Rolled me, can't remember who did that one.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 06:42 PM

I've got nothing against Billy Ray Cyrus. I imagine he's probably a very nice guy.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bernard
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 05:18 PM

HREF="http://www.stylophone.freeserve.co.uk/"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bernard
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 05:09 PM

OOOO-ERRRR!

There IS a Stylophone website, and they're even offering the bloody things for sale! Even worse, you can download a virtual Stylophone...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 05:08 PM

This damned thread is taking forever to finish loading...and my life is slipping away through the cracks in the keyboard.

Hey Mbo, I've got a parody of Barrett's Privateers that has even more verses than the original. It goes on almost forever. It's about a bunch of aging hippies who try to drive a dilapidated school bus from Moncton, New Brunswick across the USA to Mexico so they can score some good dope. They are led by an American draft-dodger named "Clive Barrett" (he was tall and lank and smelly and weird, had a colony of weevils in his beard...God damn them all!...etc.). Somewhere in the Midwest they run afoul of the highway patrol, and almost all of them end up dying hideously in a bus/train wreck at a level crossing under a hail of paramilitary gunfire, but Fat Freddy's Cat escapes and makes it all the way to Cancun, where he is probably still basking in the sun, and ordering cervezas.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 04:56 PM

Yes, I am.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 04:54 PM

Mbo, I take offense to Mr Doyle's inference that Latimers are untrustworthy, but have to agree whole heartedly about the bad news thing.

What did he have to says about Mbo's?