BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up

Subject: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 04:46 PM

MY GODDESS!! Why does it always have to be me, and you know what......this time it's the big one, glandular fever......urrrghh!! I feel like XXXX to put it mildly, and to top it all my parents will let me go to work but I'm not allowed to go and play music on an evening, with all my friends at the jug.....I'm confined to the house for god knows how many weeks, and to top it all I'm clostrophobic!! I feel like I'm well enough to go play music bit my parents are arguing otherwise. I say it cheers me up and helps me get through it. I'm very much a people person. I love them. I'll talk to complete strangers if needs be, and so I can't stand it when I can't be around them. I get very depressed and that is not a good thing at this present time. How do I make my parents understand this, I mean, im 20!! Should I not be allowed to make my own decisions? I know its best in the long run, blah, blah, blah, but what can I say.......

If anyone has any amusing stories they would like to tell me, feel free, or just post any old bs on here, JUST PLEASE SOMEONE CHEER ME UP!! ARRRGH.....I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE IT!!

EMMA XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Firecat
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:00 PM

Poor you!! If I'm feeling poorly I always cheer myself by thinking of when we kept goldfish. We've also got umpty nine million cats, and you imagine what THAT was like! Anyway, I remember coming into the front room once where the fish were and catching a cat fishing. I shouted at her, she looked up guiltily and jumped off the fish bowl, or at least tried to! Unfortunately for her, we had a one of those plastic rings on the top of the bowl, and it slipped! The cat ended up face first in the water!! I just cracked up and went to help her out. You should have seen the disgusted look she gave me. It was an "ACTUALLY, I meant to do that! I don't see what you're laughing at," kind of look. She stalked off after that to sulk. I honestly couldn't stop laughing! I'm laughing just typing this, it was that funny. That happened about three years ago. We don't have fish any more, but the cats never did get them.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: wildlone
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:04 PM

Get all your friends to come round to you and make sure that they bring the noisiest instruments that they have, if any one has a bombard that would be a bonus, I think that in a short while your parents will be glad to see you off down to the pub.
Get well soon dave

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:11 PM

Hey firecat, thanx.....I've heard about all your cats at home. I spoke to you briefly on the fone the other night when I spoke to your mum. That story has cheered me up. If only I had the cats to go with my fish....I could always try catching them myself........

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Hollowfox
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:15 PM

What is glandular fever? If it's infectious mononucleosis, get to a doctor, and follow his advice about work and such. When I had it, I couldn't do anything but sleep. Since it's infectious, you don't want to infect your friends, so stay home and call them on the telephone, or visit here on the 'Cat. Stay where you can look out of a window for the claustrophobia, and get well soon. Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:23 PM

I thought it was only infectious through sharing food, drink, tongues etc........!! it's not airborne is it? I think I am going to go to bed soon and watch road trip. A good movie always cheers me up.....but I still want to be with my two best mates who I have most probably given it to by now as we were sharing lolliepops the other night......they're guna kill me, or we can all huddle up in bed ill together........

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: GUEST,Mike Byers
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 05:31 PM

When my son was in college, he had a Giant Oscar named Gonzo. Gonzo, after a couple of years, got to be a really big fish...really big. Oscars, as you may know, don't have teeth; they swallow their prey whole. And in Gonzo's case, "prey" was just about anything that got into his tank. My son would bring this monster home for vacations in a large, plastic garbage can and getting Gonzo from the can full of water into the tank was sort of like trying to net a running outboard motor. Gonzo didn't much care for the transfer process and usually managed to splash out three or four gallons of water onto the kitchen floor. But one time I'd managed to shift the big fish to a twenty-five gallon tank without too much splashing. I was feeling pretty good about this until Hobbes the cat decided it was time for a little fishing. As soon as he dipped his paw into the tank, Gonzo decided it was time for dinner. Hobbes was not pleased when the fish tried to swallow his foot and the next thing I knew, a wet and highly irritated cat was sitting on the top of the kitchen cabinets, shaking his paw and glaring at the hungry fish who was now in a tank that only contained about ten gallons of water, the rest being on the kitchen floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: kendall
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 08:47 PM

One of the best Far Side cartoons I ever saw was a goldfish bowl. On the table outside the bowl was the skeleton of a fish. Inside the bowl, one fish was saying to another, "He must have made it, he went over the wall two weeks ago."

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 08:56 PM

Just trying to think what would go well with the bomabarde - how about a trio - add bagpipes and hurdy gurdy - that should do the trick!

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: GUEST,Mike Byers
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 09:25 PM

Make it a quartet: add an electric banjo!

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Bert
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 11:17 PM

Or if your parents won't even let your friends come 'round, you could stay at home and sing and play all by yourself. A few verses of Kumbaya, & 99 bottles of beer should convince them that you are well enough to go out.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 11:30 PM

Hey....It could always be worse. I just posted this on another thread about the latest on Paw, Cletus, Buford, and the Reg boys.

**********************************************************

I've often thought there was something genetic at work in being susceptible to TV ads, but now I am sure of it. A couple of years back, Rick Fielding, an obvious sucker, sent his three half brothers, all named Reg, down here and of course they immediately hit it off with Paw, Cletus, and Buford. I suppose I should have figured they were "Ad-Addicts" because each of them had their own Pocket Fisherman inscribed with their name, or so they said. Upon closer inspection I found the "Reg" they were referring to was the "reg." in the patent info but they were happy and there was no convincing them otherwise.

Cletus too is one of those folks who becomes entranced by all types of electronic pictures and once spent several weeks in the James Taylor Rehab Wing For Catatonic Blandness at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed to cure his catatonic condition brought on by staring at Hamsterdance on my computer for three straight days.

Paw has been taken to the proverbial cleaners many times in his life starting with playing punchcards and once losing $82.00 and a new union suit to a card tosser playing Three Card Monty. It made quite an impression on him as he was wearing the union suit at the time and had to hitchhike the 600 miles home from New York City wearing only his bibs........in February. It was a numbing experience and he is pretty skeptical about anything being pitched his way. Today though, he was hooked into a scheme to cure his piles which Cletus and the Reg boys had figured out.

Buford had purchased an "Ab-Roller" from the TV ad in an effort to lose some of the spare tire he was carrying owing to the case and a half of Iron City he downs every day. He'd already tried the "Hollywood Miracle Diet" and I suppose it did clean the toxins from his system as advertized, at least to some degree. When it arrived he drank down the entire bottle straight without mixing. His first fart, about 45 minutes later, blew out the seat of his pants and he spent the next two days sleeping in the outhouse. The "Ab-Roller" seemed a lot safer and for Paw, Cletus, and the Reg boys it was certainly far better smelling. Buford could fuck up a wet dream though and sure enough when the things came (he ordered two just for the discount), he tries one out right on the spot. The spot in question being down by his mailbox where the road goes downhill and the gizmo took off dragging Buford along behind. If he had let go he wouldn't have run off into the big patch of poison sumac by the Chessie tracks.

Buford was really a mess btween the road burns and breaking out real bad from the sumac so Cletus offered to let him stay at his place with the Reg boys til he was better and Cletus could take care of him. While Cletus and the Reg boys were out, Buford got to looking around for some lotion and ran across the "Nads" kit that Cletus had ordered. Sadly, Buford had never heard of Nads before and thought it was something to make your genitals feel better and his were burning up from the sumac so he poured some on and applied the pad as directed. I guess the stuff is made for legs and backs and other parts of the body where the skin is tougher because when Buford pulled off the patch it brought not only hair, but three layers of skin off his balls. When the others returned they found Buford as a mass of quivering pulp on the floor and that this latest insanity would force him into a hospital stay for skin grafts on his nuts.

It was about this time that Paw's 'roids flared up on him. Ever since the "Night of the Farted Falwell" when one of Paw's flamers had scorched the image of Jerry Falwell on my garage wall, he had been having trouble. Some say that it's a divine retribution or a curse from Falwell, but it seems to me that after 50 years of lighting farts, his asshole has just blown out. The Reg boys had just ordered some magnetic bracelets for Buford to help in his healing, but since he was in the hospital they thought Paw could use them to cure his wasted bunghole. They figured that between them they had 27 of these bracelets, including Buford's, in various sizes and if they could affix them somehow to Paw's butt, a cure was inevitable.

As always, the answer was duct tape. Cletus held Paw down while Reg stacked the bracelets in stacks of nine, handed them to Reg who arranged them in interlocking stacks on Paw's ass, while Reg taped the whole thing on. When they let Paw up, Cletus said he was not as mad as he thought he'd be and the magnets only made a small bump in his bibs. I think though, based on what happened next, that the interlocking magnets may have produced too strong a field because as they walked down the road past the Rafferty house, a hubcap off of ol' man Rafferty's Buick flew off and slammed into Paw's ass. Rafferty was boiling peanuts in front of his stoop and came running over, madder than hell. After great tugging and throwing Paw all over the place, the hubcap was still stuck. Finally Paw held onto Rafferty's mailbox and the others managed to get the damn thing off but they pulled the mailbox out in the process. Ol' man Rafferty went to get his shotgun and the rest of them made tracks, not stopping til they reached the intersection at Rt.40. Here's where things went really bad.

A Peterbilt with California registration roared past and before anyone could make a move, Paw was snatched up and was last seen hanging by his ass from an exhaust stack. Cletus and the Reg boys figured they could snatch him back with the Popeil's Pocket Fisherman if they could catch up so they hopped in Buford's pickup which he wasn't using and headed out, stopping at my place briefly to drop off Cletus' pet cockroach, Hernando, for me to care for until they returned, hopefully with Paw. My neighbor said he past them heading out of town, the Reg boys in the bed of the truck, Popeil equipped.

If you live west of here, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep an eye out for them. And do me a favor if you see Paw. Take those magnetic bracelets off his ass. By the way, does anybody know if these things that turn your home's electrical system into a sonic pest repellant will kill cockroaches?

Hernando? HERNANDO?? HERNANDO??? HERNANDO????............Hmmmm............Do they lay upside down like this a lot?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 11:37 PM

Hey Jez, I'm sorry to hear you're under the weather. I know that's no fun and I'm sorry I can't do something to make you feel better. If I were there, I could play my guitar and sing, although that could make you worse; many people have said such about my singing (drummers, mostly).

Well, I can't be there and cheer you up, so I shall have to do it from afar, as best I can.

I hope you get well soon. May all the powers of heaven and earth be at work in your immune system to get you over this as quickly as possible.

And if all else fails, and you feel you just can't go on, remember the words of the wise master, Yuga T'bay K'ding, "Disease is like beer. If it doesn't kill you outright, pretty soon it's over."

Best wishes for speedy recovery!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 11:54 PM

Oh, Jez, so sorry to hear that you're a bit under the weather....you know what I do when I'm down? I do my damnedest to make everyone else's lives as miserable as mine.....Hope you get yourself better soon!!

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Penny S.
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 05:56 AM

Jez, I had it without any of the usual physical contact causes, never traced the contact, so assume the worst about infection, though it's not as transmissible as F&M, and be fair to your friends. I assume you have seen the doctor, anyway - have you started feeling the tiredness yet? 'Cos you won't want to go anywhere when you do. Which is not cheering up, I know.

Get your friends to come and sing in the garden? Text message songs? Join in over the phone? Get friends who've already had it to come round for a session? Paltalk?

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 06:10 AM

Glandular fever is often known as the kissing desease so come on Em who was he and was he worth it!! I would have thought that work was out of the question for a short while but I'm not the doctor-ask him/her. I also thought you had to get pretty close to catch it (hence the name) so we could sit you in the corner at the Jug without too much danger!! In the meantime have you tried getting paltalk on your computer-I know its not the same as getting out but there is usually someone in the mudcat room late on the evening (post 10,30 usually) singing or playing. Otherwise just organize a party and we'll all turn up!!:>)

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 04:46 PM

...so these two elderley ladies meet at La Maison Rouge for lunch and when they've ordered their Old Fashions, Maude leans forward and says to Sophie:

"Sophie, dear, you've a suppository in your ear."
"What?"
Speaking louder, "You've a suppository in your ear."
"What did you say?"
Fairly yelling now: "You've a suppository in your ear."
"Oh lord, that's where my hearing aid's gone."

cheers, Fortunato

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JedMarum
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 04:49 PM

too sick to go play music, but not too sick to work? sounds like someone's got their priorities arse backwards! Or someone's trying to prove to you the importance of 'real' work and the firvolity of music. I'd say, stay home all the damn time; skip work and play! Play music while you rest up and heal.

By the way, I hope you get well quickly!

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Penny S.
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 05:39 PM

Earlier today I tried to post a link to the PPP guide to the disease - can be spread by droplet infection as well, you know - with advice about what you can and cannot do, but the computer wasn't having any. If you run a reach on Google you should find it, and some other sites as well. Irritatingly, they concur with your parents on work! But you shouldn't do anything which might damage your spleen. Do you play bodhran?

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Penny S.
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 05:40 PM

search, not reach

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 06:05 PM

JeZeBeL

By the process of psychosomosis, mind over matter, doctors bedside manner, placebo etc etc - allow me to refer to the old song popularised by Stanley Holloway (he played Eliza Doolittle's dad in My Fair Lady)

My Word you do look well, My word you do look well.

Though the symptoms are very physiological, solutions are available in the psychological domain. Fight it with the mind. Tell it (the chronic Epstein-Barr virus probably) to depart. Though it helps to have a little knowledge on the medical mechanisms. With problems I concentrate like mad just as I go to sleep (each time I wake). No miracle cure but it helps.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: guest(intruder-inactive)
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 10:04 PM

anyone have an extra holocaust cloak?

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 12:33 PM

Penny, yes unfortunately I do play bodhran!! Which isn't really a lot of good!!

Mrs. Duck- I can't tell you who I think I got it off of as you know this person!! Wow, how embarrassing!!

Good news though.....If I go to work tomorrow, I can go play music in the evening and I f i go to work on wednesday I can go to the Jug!! Does that mean I have to sit in a corner all by myself then?.............

Keep writing people, you're cheering me up!!

xxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: wdyat12
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 12:55 PM

JeZeBel,

You might check out gnu's thread BS: New Sayings. When you get to Moticia's post hang on!

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 01:57 PM

Hey Jez,-don't suppose we'll have to Hedge our bets? Hope you are OK. Someone prise the name out of her, it might be someone we know at the jug, on the other hand, look out for who's not there. You can still sit with us-on your own outside if you take up melodian!!

Eric without glandular fever.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 02:42 PM

What do you mean by hedge our bets?....If you are referring to my best mate Hedge who was @ the queen o't'owd thatch, then you would be wrong, as he is going out with my mate lindsey.....keep trying. U won't get it out of me. It did happen a fair few weeks ago though. I had tonsilitis b4 this!! It's amusing to watch people try and guess though!!

Emma with glandular fever

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Penny S.
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 03:33 PM

Ah, but you can get it from someone with no symptoms, and without contact, so can anyone be really sure?

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 04:23 PM

That's very true. I could have got it from any1 of my mates seen as though we all share drinks and lollie pops when we go out.....so who knows?

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Gervase
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 05:22 AM

My God, the corruption of young morals in the UK knows no bounds.
Sharing lollipops?! Wouldn't have happened in my day, I can tell you. No wonder the country's in the state it's in. Pass me a Daily Telegraph, I can feel an apoplectic fit of spleen coming on.
Yours faithfully


Lt. Col. B.B. Strangely-Browne (Retd)

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Mr Red
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:56 AM

JeZeBeL

What I forgot was to mention that some people call it visualisation. Getting angry with the symptom &/or cause is all part of the process. Keep at it Pal!

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: John J
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 12:07 PM

Sorry to hear you're bad emma, but if you've got glandular fever: STAY PUT! I know it's not what you want to hear, but ma & pa know best. When I was was your age.....

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 12:29 PM

Sorry to everyone, but I ain't stayin put. Wether they like it or not, Jug Inn here I come......the doc says I ain't contageous, although he'll say anything to keep me happy after taking my blood outta me arm yesterday(I got a lollie though!!), just so I don't scream @ him again.....that's an exaggeration, I won't that bad!! I'll just ave 2 keep suckin thouse lolliepops I guess, and I didn't share them with my friends last nite, I gave them their very own....Aren't I just the kindest person ey?

And a final note today to mr ex army person......or whatever you were in......I don't know them all......I am a very open person with my friends and we believe in sharing all our stuff if one goes out with no money...and so we share LOLLIEPOPS WOOHOOOOOOO!!.....and pints of coca cola.....but not boyfriends though you will be pleased to hear......we ain't that bad......we ain't that young n foolish either.....we're 20!! On our last legs now......don't know how much longer we're gunna live....spesh if we keep goin out till 3am!!

Ave a nice ev'nin' peeps...I'm ofta play sum music.

Emma xxx

P.s - I can spell, s'just I'm from Yorkshire!!

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: wdyat12
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 01:04 PM

JeZeBel,

Why leave for Jugg Inn? Looks like you've got everybody in your room right now. Let's Party!

wdyat12

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 12:08 PM

Sorry, wdyat12. I had to go....I neeeeed to play music @ least twice a week or I go insane. It was a wee bit too crowded though, but nevermind.

PM me if you get bored.

Emma xx

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: beachcomber
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 04:00 PM

JeZeBel.

I think you are "spoiled rotten" Get up ouit of that and stop feeling sorry for yourself. A pint or three of good Guinness will soon have you performing again.

Subject: RE: BS: Im b****y ill again, someone cheer me up
From: Ruthie A
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 04:39 PM

Awww petal! ((big hug)) I know what you feel like. I had glandular fever last November - 6 weeks that I couldn't take off school (work! uurgh) combined with anaemia and chronic fatigue syndrome don't make the nicest of combinations. Trouble is, flute's my main instrument (that I can't live without and am permanently attached to), but I couldn't play for SIX WEEKS unless I doused the whole thing in disinfectant inbetween playings, which would do the pads no good...I was limited to piano and fiddle for that time and nearly went mad(der)! Do mail me on [e-mail] so I can empathise.

Loadsa luv and best wishes, Ruthie xXx

P.S. Are you Wiccan?