Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial

Subject: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:07 AM

I thought Mudcatters would be interested in this:

Reuters - FAMED FOLK SINGER GOES ON TRIAL FOR MURDER

Condolezza Schwartz, one of the folk legends of the 1960's, goes on trial today for murder, in one of the most bizarre stories of recent times. According to state prosecutor, Henry Thomasina, the folk singer conspired to murder a waitress, Lucky Day, who had discovered that Ms. Schwartz had been orchestrating attacks on herself to boost her ongoing comeback. Related incidents included a knife thrown at Ms. Schwartz during the Coke IBM Sony "Folk Challenge 01'" Concert in June of this year, a spate of gunfire at the July Pepsi AT&T Hump for Hemp "Just Do It, Folkies" Folk Festival in Lmuma City, Wash, and others.

Attornies for Ms. Schwartz, whose new album "Ms. Tambourine Person" sits at the top of the charts along with Janet Jackson, have denied the accusations. They argue that Condolezza Schwartz was suffering "temporary insanity due to comeback fever" and the intense stress from her recent spate of touring. Supporters of Ms. Schwartz, however, believe that she is the victim of a plot by a global conspiracy of oil companies, and point to evidence that at her last concert she was in the middle of singing an anti-oil song, "The Fossils Go Marching On" when shots were fired that injured her bodyguard.

"Free The Folk 1!!" is only one of the signs that have appeared outside the State Courthouse in anticipation of the trial. Longtime Schwartz supporter Craig Giarc. 37, says: "This is the most blatant example of sexism, blondism, and global capitalist powermongering in American History! She is a herone." Not to be mistaken for a misprint of "heroine", Schwartzians have taken to wearing the symbol of a heron as a token of their committment. Ms. Schwartz, who is very tall, thin, and blonde, does bear a striking resemblance to a heron. One follower, dressed in a heron costume, was taken to hospital yesterday morning suffering from heat exhaustion.

During battling press conferences last night, Ms. Schwartz' attorney Dave Whiplash said that she had been particularly comforted by a letter of support from Darlene, the ex Mouseketeer who remains in prison serving a sentence for tax fraud. In the Prosecution side's press conference, Mr. Thomasina suggested that "Condolezza's next album will be entitled "Sing A Song at SingSing." In related news, Ms. Schwartz' record producer, Cosmo Tepperman, says that her latest album, spurred by the sensational television coverage, has gone double platinum in 36 countries. "According to our latest figures," said Tepperman, "Every citizen in Singapore now owns a Schwartz album."

The trial begins today.

Files from local and international correspondents. Check out our Web site for the latest in Schwartz-related topics!

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:20 AM

Peter - how odd. I've never heard of Ms Schwartz before this. Of course, I think it's vile that someone would stoop to cheap publicity tricks to get their name in the papers, even if it may be the obituary column. What if that knife had been thrown by Cosmo, the Fairly Accurate Knife-Thrower and he missed...or didn't?

Do you know how I can buy her recordings?

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:20 AM

LMAO!!! BRILL!!

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:22 AM

Well we know just the lawyer to defend her (if the judge doesn't mind pipes in court...! I think it's a publicity stut to promote her upcoming album Mind out of Time.
RtS (with a plea bargain she could just get time for therapy at the NYCFTTS)

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:42 AM

I believe all her albums can be obtained online from Hippolyta.com or, of course, from Doug Glasshouse at Comscam.com
RtS (would I lie to you?)

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: LR Mole
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 08:51 AM

Do all these bulletins make the Mudcat temporarilly Schwartz-sited?

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 09:01 AM

I know that cat......she's so cool........I think I jammed with her in Alaska......er........maybe we just blew up together or somethin',,,,,,

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 09:17 AM

I believe her recordings are also available from People's Inheritance /Samuel Platoon

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: JenEllen
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 11:27 AM

'Souls of poets dead and gone
What Elysium have ye known
Happy field or mossy cavern
Choicer than the Mermaid Tavern'

Well, she was pretty sure that this place wasn't what Keats had in mind, and that thought became more and more concrete as the waitress neared her booth. She gave her drink order to the tired looking woman in her shiny nylon wig and pink bikini top made out of gigantic plastic sea-shells, then sat back and opened her case, spreading a few papers before her, and sticking the ear-bud of a mini-recorder in one ear. She tapped her fingers on the table as she read.

She was here for the trial, sure enough. You don't have a story like Condolezza Schwartz fall into your lap just every day. It just might be enough of a story to give her a break and get her the hell out of Lmuma, where she had worked for the Lmuma Weekly News for almost five years as the reporter, photographer, printer, editor, (and when her nephew was down with chicken-pox, the paper-boy) of the smallest circulated newspaper on the planet. It started out quietly enough, a chance to get out of the city and breathe fresh air. That quickly turned to a maddening sort of frustration at having to photograph dairy princesses and their pet cows, and Jethro's prize pumpkin, all while arguing with the elementary school cafeteria lady over whether or not the tater-tot misprint in the school lunch menu violated anyone's civil rights... This case was a gold-mine in comparison.

She'd not known how covering the "Just do it, Folkies" festival would change her life. It was supposed to be a simple deal, take a few pictures, get a quote or two, and then take off for an exausting evening of smiling at the mayor's barbeque. That gunfire changed her life forever. She knew this story could pry her out of the quicksand that was Lmuma, she had no doubt.

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 11:50 AM

Theet Logos shook his head in dismay, holding the letter in his left hand at the breakfast table in his double-wide, and absent-mindedly plucking at his banjo, balanced on the floor beside him, with his right. Dang!! Summonsed as a witness!! How was he gonna squeeze this in, with negotiations with PepsiCo for his faltering rare folk recordings business just comng to the crucial point. He had held out for seven figures, arguing that this particular plateau had personal significance to him and he would settle for anything that met this idiosyncratic standard, and nothing that would not.

He picked up the green Princess phone from the countertop and dialed the number printed on the heavy black-Gothic embossed stationary. While it rang in the distant offices of Scroom, Karmen and Goeing, he made a mental note to buy a new hunting knofe.

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: JenEllen
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 04:46 PM

Serena Davis sat at her table, idly flipping through notes and listening to recorded interviews. She felt like the spider weaving her web, and that any second now, the fly would be approaching.

Without looking up, she knew the precise second the woman entered the Mermaid. That pause, that fraction of a heartbeat, when all conversation in a noisy pub stops in reverence. She'd seen this woman only once before, but she had had the same effect then as she did now; standing just inside the door, scanning the room and pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. The woman spotted Serena and walked over slowly, giving the both of them ample opportunity to size each other up. Serena saw the woman stop one of the plastic waitresses and order a drink. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders, and her neat linen travel suit looked like she had been born for it. She finished with the waitress, and turned back towards the table, locking eyes with Serena.

She reached the booth, and tossed her purse to the bench before she casually removed her jacket. She sat down, never once breaking the glance. Her bare arms and legs had been kissed bronze by the sun, and if it weren't for the dainty child-like string of sea-shells at her throat, she would have looked like she'd just walked off the cover of a magazine.
"Well, what a pleasant surprise..." smile Serena "I honestly wasn't sure that you'd come..."
"You didn't leave me much choice now, did you?" said the woman, leaning forward to rest her arms on the table.
"I don't know what you mean.."
"You know precisely what I mean." snapped the woman, "The letters, the phone messages, the pathetic attempts at subtle threats... Just what the hell do you want?"
"I want the story." said Serena

The woman leaned back, taking her elbows off the table as the waitress brought her her drink. "Well, you've decided that you think you can get it from me, is that it?"
"Oh, one way or the other, you'll talk. To me, or to the judge, it's your choice." As she said this, Serena pulled out her cell phone and slowly started punching in numbers.
"Who are you calling?"
"Oh, this detective I recently heard about, he might be able to help..."
The woman snatched the phone from Serena's hand, and scouting for the 'end' button- hit it hard. "You leave him alone." she hissed as she slid the phone across the table.

"Well, if I were him, I'd want to know if someone like you were to show up..." Serena started
"You can forget that little idea right there," said the woman, "You're wasting your valuable long-distance minutes... He already knows. I saw him in the hospital just before I left."
"Yeah," said Serena, leaning forward, "But how much of what he remembers from that night is 'you' and how much is drugs and dreamland? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to find you in town, not to mention back from the dead. Maybe you can sit next to each other at the trial...and maybe you can sit next to each other in prison." she pushed the mini-recorder towards the woman and said "Care to start talking?"
"Not here, and not now." the woman glared at her, "I need some time first, and there are some people I have to see. I have your number, I'll call you." She stood up and gathered her things, "I wish I could say this has been a pleasure..." then Lucky Day turned and walked back out onto the sunlit streets of town.

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 05:09 PM

Reuters - 14:30 - FOLK MURDER TRIAL OPENS IN DISARRAY

The trial of famed folk singer, Condolezza Schwartz, opened today in a flurry of briefs and counterbriefs. Judge Punch N. Ellow adjourned the day's proceedings after the first quarter of an hour, citing the extraordinary move made by the National Security Agency (NSA), which has filed an amicus curiae ("friend of the court") brief in the controversial murder trial, immediately prompting her own attorney, Dave Whiplash, to call for a mistrial.

Following the adjournment of the court, attorneys for the defence and the prosecution appeared on CNN's "Catfight!" and traded barbs. In particular, the Defense Attorney repeated over and over again: "Where's the Beef?" when the Prosecutor, Henry Thomasina was forced to admit that two of the star witnesses were missing, and that the forensic evidence on the murder victim had unaccountably become mislaid by the F.B.I.

Files by local and international correspondents. Check out our "Where's the Beef?" website, and links!

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: fox4zero
Date: 03 Aug 01 - 06:58 PM

I didn't realize that it was April 1st again so soon Larry

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Gareth
Date: 04 Aug 01 - 07:57 PM

At 3.30 in the afternoon the Honourable Judge had had enough. The humid atmosphere had stuck his shirt to his robe. He was getting tetchy. Murder trials in xxx were not meant to last that long – a quick plea bargain between public defender and prosecutor ……..
And some poor trailer trash went for 99 years in the Washington state pen.

He called the two attorneys up to the bench, "Ain't y'all come to an agreement yet ?, 'Am a' missing my social call on the Mayor and his wife !"

The two attorneys exchanged glances, significantly neither spoke. "Wa'al 'I'am adjourning this here court till 10 in the Morning. You be here then !"

The bulls took Condolezza back to her cell. Here fans and friends in the Court House waved. Serena Davis followed Condolezza's Attorney, Dave Whiplash. In this small town nobody would challenge her right to be there.

The cell was small and whitewashed. Scratched Graffiti marked its walls, proclaiming messages of hope, and despair. More despair than hope. The guards left leaving Condolezza , Dave Whiplash, and Serena alone. The locks slid shut.

"Well", said Condolezza, "Clarence Darrow you ain't, now I know how the Rosenberg's felt."

Whiplash said nothing, his pink embarrassment showed that his ability as a defender was confined to T.V. sound bites for CNN.

Condolezza continued, in a soft but angry Mid west accent, "Lets summarize what's done so far, The prosecution reckons I arranged for that knife to be thrown, by persons unknown, and they can't find the knife ! They say I ordered a hit on Lucky Day for she overheard me talking about it – yet them state police cant find the body, or say how she was killed. – And you, my attorney allowed this past a Grand Jury and there 12 citizens out there deciding if I fry. What sort of lawyer are you Dave? "

"Condolezza dear, I' am paid for by you record company – have you any idea how many bucks this trial in making on your record sales ?"

"Jeeezus," snarled the singer, " Are they going to splash my recording of "Tom Dooley !- Posthumously !"

A memory circuit opened in Serena's mind. " Lucky Day ?? Lucky Day !!!, wasn't she the wom….." " Hold it right there Codolezza – I think this could be your lucky day !". " And mine too " she thought.

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 09:55 AM

OFF THE NET, FROM THE UNOFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT, DAY ONE (univalidated) - EXCERPT:

JUDGE ELLOW:

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 10:57 AM

JUDGE ELLOW: Thank you, Mr, Thomasina. Opening statement for the defense?

DAVE WHIPLASH:"Thank you Your Honor, and members of the Jury. Ladies and Gentlemen, I want you to cast your minds back to a turbulent period in our nation's history -- while I can see that some of the male members of the jury might possibly have been around at the time, it is obvious that the lady members are far too young to know whereof I speak" (muffled laughter from audience, simpers from lady jury members) "so you will forgive me for having to paint a more extensive picture.

It was a tempesttost time for the ship of our state, when the surges of destiny tore at the sinews of our people. A new generation, struggling to be heard, perhaps misguided, perhaps truer than even they knew, looking back at it through the telescope of historical perspective. One commentator once said that the only permanent contribution to Western Civilization from the 1960s was the salad bar. But we beg to differ!!!! It was a time of dreams, a time of nightmares; it was the best of the New York Times; it was the worst of Time-Life Records, which has the whole era captured on 20 Cds that" --- (interruption from junior clerk at defense table, Whiplash recovers himself, continues)

"As I was saying, it was a time when people dropped in and plugged out! And at the forefront, well, towards the forefront, but certainly not at the backfront of" -- (further interruption from junior clerk) -- "O.K., O.K., I am getting there - "

JUDGE ELLOW: "Do you need a brief recess, Mr. Whiplash?"

DAVE WHIPLASH: "No your honor, there has just been a few pages misstapled from our presentation. " (Puts hand in pocket, top of silver flask can just be seen, but thinks better of it, returns to sheet)

"So, Ladies and Gentlemen, in the front lines, the trenches of the struggle for human liberty in this era, an era of butterflies turning into bombers in the sky, and the Star Spangled Banner being mangled by electric guitarists on American soil, one figure stands out, one of many standouts with guitars, but in her own way figuratively speaking a figure of her time, who can figure it? But wherever the Zeitgeist moved, there moved this figure, The Lady With The Guitar, Our Lady of the Burning Chords, clothed in white samite, mystic wonderful, I give you, Ladies and Gentlemen, CONDOLEZZA SCHWARTZ!!!!!!!!
(a burst of applause fills the room. Condolezza, wearing a tearstained leather-and lace outfit of demure simplicity, nods her head in sad acknowledgement. The Judge hammers his gavel fiercely" ---

JUDGE: "Order in this court. This is not the Follies Bergere!! This is a court of law, and I would remind counsel for the defence that time is passing!!!"

DAVE WHIPLASH: "Precisely, Judge, and members of the Jury. Time is passing. We are no longer in that era. It is as dead as, well, as that creature who committed suicide by jumping under that bus" -- (interruption from junior clerk, Whiplash nods). " But more of that later, Your Honour. Time is passing. When we consider the long stretch of time between then and now, images rise and fade like mountains sinking and valleys rising. Who can forget the Presidency of Gerald Ford? What of the BeeGees, and what ever happened to Cyndi Lauper? Ars brevis, vita longa -- Art is short, life is long, members of the jury....."

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Gareth
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 01:46 PM

The ringing of his doorbell awoke Theet Logos.

An UPS delivery jockey was there. Parcel and Clipboard at the ready.

"Special Delivery Parcel from Washington State"

Theet signed for it, no senders address, what was this ?

He closed the door and placed the parcel on the hall table. A deft stroke with his kitchen knife peeled the paper away. In a Pine Box lay his old hunting knife, cleaned, and sharpened. No message - unless the knife was ??. He turned the box over. He could just make out the stamp of the Washington State Police.

A cold reality hurt him. He reached for his phone.

"Scroom, We got a problem,.... yeah as in Houston, only this is bigger."

In his Texas office Kermit Scroom thumbed the intercom. "Mary-Lou, cancell mah appointments for the day. Yeah even GW - tell him, Oh hell, just tell him who paid for his campaign, if I say jump he says "How High ?""

Scroom picked up his private phone, with the unlisted number, not even listed by the Feds, and SEC. It had cost him plenty for that kind of privacy.

"All America Plumbing Service, how can we help you ?"

"This is Kermit - I want a team in Lumuma, Washington, fast, ..... No you maniac, Washington State, this is nothing to do with the hill, Oh yes, and Logos is starting to leak, fix it but permenantly Ok ya'll"

Two hours later Theet Logos bell rang again, another UPS jockey was there, he was wearing ear protectors, he handed Theet a parcel and a clip board. "Special delivery from Dallas, Mr Logos" Theet handed back the clip board.

"Have a nice day now". The delivery man turned and walked away.

"That boy seems in a hurry" thought Theet, as he ripped the parcel open.

It was the last coherent thought Theet had. Two pounds of plastic explosive can make a nasty mess of your porch.

Theet took the parcel

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: toadfrog
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 02:03 PM

For shame! You people are treating this tragic occurrence as if it were a mere spoof! I say the story myself, a clear miscarriage of justice that cries aloud for action!

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 02:34 PM

Lucky paid the cab driver and walked quickly into the building. The guard was watching soap operas on his small television, and she slipped past the desk and up the stairs.

She found Marshall's office, and his bumbling blonde secretary.
"I need to see Marshall."
"Do you have an appointment?" the woman scanned her book
"I don't need one." said Lucky "He'll see me."
After a hushed intercom conversation, the secretary looked grinly up at Lucky and buzzed her through the large office doors.

Marshall Miller sat behind his desk, with his feet up and a shiny Stratocaster across his lap. He was cleaner than she'd seen him last, the Zepplin traded for an Armani, and the hair in a neat ponytail. "Lucky," he admonished "What are you doing here? This is against the rules, you know that." He smiled, but his eyes were cold.
"This is bullshit, Marshall. I read the papers, I see what you are doing, and it's wrong."
"You look good Lucky, that island life suits you. You know, I was meaning to come down and check the place out, see how you were getting along...You should have stayed down there."

"How did you expect me to? I'm supposed to sit and watch the waves while you are on some kind of witch-hunt? And by the way, I went by the cemetery, is that headstone really necessary? It's gruesome."
"It's completing the scene, dear woman. Sad lamb at the slaughter, teary community, and vengence. We need that kind of fervor. People go blind with it, and will hang the first thing they find. In this case, it's that singer. No matter, it gives the intended results."

"Yeah, well, your little plan has some problems, see I've got this reporter on my ass, and she may not know how I got here, but she knows who I am." Lucky said, and Marshall's eyes narrowed. "I met her at the Mermaid today, and she's close. You know, all I have to do is talk..."
"You won't." said Marshall "One word and you are dead for real this time. The folk-singer still goes down."
"It's not right Marshall, you have to know that?"
"Right-schmight, it gets the job done..." he noodled a few licks and grinned at her.

"What about Theet? Did you send him away to never-never land too?"
"Oh, no. He's currently negotiating for seven figures, or so I hear. Theet got his deal, and you got yours."
Lucky had that strange sensation crawl up her back as she looked at Marshall, "So that's what the devil looks like?" she thought

She bit her lip, hardly wanting to ask, "And Blake? There wasn't any mention of him in the papers after a day or two, what happened?"
"He crawled into a bottle, surfaced long enough to make an ass out of himself quoting Baudelaire at your funeral, then quietly sank to the bottom, right where we found him to begin with."

Lucky stood for a long while, staring out the window.
"You are on the next plane out of town, correct?"
"Maybe," she said distractedly.
Marshall set the guitar down and walked behind her at the window. He stood beside her finally, and without turning towards her spoke, "We can quote Baudelaire too, you know. 'Truly, I long to teach you what real misfortune is'. That's pretty, ain't it? I'm telling you as a friend, don't do it."

Lucky left the office and returned to the street, her head swimming. How was she supposed to tell him without ending up under a bus, for real this time?

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Gareth
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 02:48 PM

Condolezza tuned on Serena, "Who the hell are you, Sister ?" . "No time to explain now, just call me Serena." Dave Whiplash held his head in his hands, if it got out that he'd smuggled a stranger into the prison the Bar Association would disbar him.

"O.K. Serena, wadda you want, and don't say the sing the" Wild Rover""
"I think Lucky Day is alive, and drinking in the Mermaid Tavern"

Dave's head began to spin. The acquittal of Condolezza was not an option on the brief given to him. He had been hand picked as the attorney most likely to see his client convicted. Lucky Day being alive, and able to testify that she was alive was not good news.

"She can't be alive," squawked Dave, "I mean she filed a deposition testifying that Theep Logos killed her on your orders"
"What do you mean, "filed a deposition ….."?" Condolezza and Serena asked in unison.

Dave's nerve cracked, "I'am sorry, Condolezza, there are powers in this here nation that want you away. Hell ! you, the judge and the jury weren't supposed to spot that paradox."

"Time for action !"said Serena. She fumbled in her hand bag and produced her note book, and a pen. "Write it down Dave, Who, When, How much they paid, and Why.!"

Dave started writing. Condolezza began to recover her composure. Serena searched in her bag again, she produced a small pistol.

"Condolezza, you and I are leaving here tonight". Condolezza's eyes brightened, she stretched out she full six foot three, "Fine but how ? The guards shoot first and ask questions later !"
"You sing folk ? Remember the Lords in the Tower, how love conquered all ?
Condolezza smiled, " I don't think you clothes would fit Me."
"No, but his will, Dave, you are about to become a cross dresser"

Dave Whiplash turned white, cross dressing !, the Bar Association would really burn him. "No, No !", he protested. Serena aimed the pistol at his crotch, "No ? No ? How high can you sing ?"

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Gareth
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 04:44 PM

Leaving Dave dressed in Condolezza's leather and lace, tied and gagged with his own necktie and suspenders Serena pressed the buzzer for the guard. "The prisoner is feeling a little distraught, she does not want a meal tonight". "S's O.K". agreed the guard. And closed the cell door behind them.

The prison doors opened and closed in succession, each click a further jar on Serena's courage. The final door opened, the glow of a Northwest evening painted the sky. "Act natural" hissed Serena, "You've just been to see a client on Murder One rap, and you are relieved to be out of there"

The two walked slowly over to the parking lot. For Serena, every step felt a life time.

"God, I need a cigarette ", said Condolezza. "Wait until we get to the Auto, " replied Serena, "And I don't think singing "We shall overcome" here and now is a good idea."

Serena unlocked the car, she slid into the drivers seat. "There's a packet of Luckies on the dash" Condolezza pulled a lucky out of the packet. Serena held the pistol a foot away from Condelezza's face. She pulled the trigger, there was a soft Click, and a small flame jetted out. "Thanks " said Condolezza, inhaling deeply.

Driving as carefully as if she had a Highway Patrol wagon ten feet away from her fender Serena glided the Auto out of the parking lot. Condolezza hummed the "Skye Boat Song" – "How appropriate" thought Serena. "Now lets stash you in a safe house, while I find Lucky Day.

At the local Airport an executive jet descended. Four clean cut all American boys disembarked, carrying, grips and guitar cases, the plumbers had arrived.

Lucky Day slunk down the stairs from the Marshals office, the door guard looked right through her. "When your supposed to be dead, the eye won't believe what your seeing," thought Lucky. It hit her then "No !, my credit cards are cancelled too !"

It seemed there was little choice – talk and die, or keep silent and starve.

"Drink is a comforter" thought Lucky. She headed for the Mermaid.

Inside the bar was crowded, all the folkies were talking about the violent death of Theet Logos. A Federal spokesperson on CNN was attributing it to fundamentalists.

With crystal clarity Lucky realised what the Marshal had meant by Theep getting his payoff.

Serena tucked the Auto in the back yard of the Weekly News Building. She unlocked the fire door and bundled Condolezza inside.

"Now you stay here, there are cookies in the Kitchen, and Coffee. I'll bring you a Big Mac latter.
"A Big Mac", thought Condolezza, "prison food was more nutritious."

Serena left, locking the building behind here.

The plumbers reached the Marshall's Office. Marshall Miller took note of the Guitar cases. "Hey you boys want a picking session." His grin faded when the cases were opened and Uzi's. Thompson's, and a Lee-Enfield snipers rifle were produced.

"Marshall Miller, we have a situation here with this Schwartz trail. It seems some one in the State Police is not a happy coyote over this attempt to railroad Schwartz . They've lost the knife Theep Logos used. Not that Theep will testify."
"No, I heard about that"
"Most of the town heard that – I think the boys were a little over enthusiastic over the amount of explosives used"

Miller relaxed, this was his chance to squeeze a few more bucks out of the organization "And what does Kermit Scroom want now, the state police given guidance, or a leak stopped ?"
"That's what we are here for, and how do you know Scroom's name ?"
"Waaal, that's the name that signed the cheque."

The loud echo of the Thompson gun shattered the little office. Miller realised his mistake, but it was late for second thoughts. The .45 calibre slugs hurled him from his chair against the wall.

A Deputy ran in Pistol drawn, he saw the Thompson, he saw Miller. He saw the plumber take Millers Colt 45 from his holster and place it in the late Marshals hand.

"Gee ", said the Deputy. " We warned the Marshall to be careful cleaning his pistol"
"Smart man, With intuition like that I shouldn't be surprised if your made Marshall"
"I'll need a new badge, those there .45 slugs just done ruined the old one"

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Gareth
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 07:15 PM

The plumbers repacked the cases, they paraded down the stairs as the Medical Examiner arrived.

The ME had a conscience, some months previously he had pronounced Lucky Day dead. She was not. It is a little difficult to be convinced that some one is dead when they are standing up and swearing at the Marshall.

The Deputy, now "Acting Marshall" led the ME into Millers Office . The ME looked at Millers body. "Worst case of accidental death I've seen", said the ME. " Eight entry wounds in the chest alone".
"Doc, there's this letter for you"
The ME opened it, inside a permanent contract to give technical advice on "Quincy" from a Hollywood studio. It was not a hard decision. "Son," he said, "It's definitely an accident. Why old Marshall Miller was so tough that his reflex actions kept him pulling that trigger, and reloading that revolver. And that's what I'am telling the Judge." His conscience appeased the ME signed the paper work.

In the Mermaid Lucky retreated into a booth, some one here might recognize her, that might be fatal. The conversation in the bar bounced between the death of Theep Logos, and the trial of Condolezza

"Jaysus", said one folkie, " they say they found Threep's body on 7th Street."
"Yes, and 9th Street, and 11th Street." This was black humour at its worst.

The Television broke into a local News Flash " Popular Federal Marshall Miller had been found dead in his office – it was believed that he had died in a gun accident"

The folkies cheered, there was no love lost between them and this, late, Marshall

In the Weekly News Building Condolezza had found a P.C. It had a modem.

Should she tell the MudCatters what was going on ? Would the use of the internet alert the authorities. What had Dave Whiplash written in Serena's note book. Would anybody believe that she was out of Jail and dressed like a flash city lawyer? Would she make the big folk festival to protest against the decision to drill for oil in Gifford Pinchot National Park ?

Behind her a door quietly swung open.

Help I cant keep this going single handed

Gareth - on line again 1900 hrs GMT

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 01 - 08:58 PM

[Looks like you're doin' okay there, pal! Keep up the good work! I wanna see how this turns out!]

A

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 01:20 AM

As Lucky sat in her booth at the Mermaid and listened to the news, she realized there was only one option left for her. She left her money on the table, exited the still swinging door, and hailed a cab out on the street.

As the cab neared 7th, she began to grow more nervous. The cab pulled to the curb, and she saw the light in the office window above. "Drive around the block once, would ya?" she asked the driver. By the third trip around the block, the cab driver was looking in his rear-view at her, and she relented. "Okay, here's good." she said, and got out of the cab.

Shaking, she walked up the stairs and down the hall to the office door. The peeling letters on the glass spelled out the same "Blake Madison- Private Detective", but she knew things were not the same, and maybe they never would be. She knocked, and getting no answer, knocked again. Finally she spoke, "Dammit, Madison, I know you are in there. I can smell that cheap whiskey from here. Open up the gawdamn door."

When he opened the door, even with the obvious relief washing over his face, she still wished from the look of him that she'd had just stayed dead.
"Nance? Is it really you?" Lucky nodded and stepped inside the office, and inside the circle of Blake's arms. "I wasn't sure, that night in the hospital, and then all the news and legal proceedings, I thought I had just imagined it all.." he let her go, then stepped back to look at her again.
"Blake, they've killed Theet and Marshall. This has to stop." Lucky said. "I'm not sure about much, but I think I at least know how to save our asses."
"And Condolezza? Afteh?"
"Fuck'em." Lucky said "This has gotten to be about as much fun as a sack full of spider monkeys in a meth lab. It's either you and me, or it's just me. Take your pick, but I'm not waiting around to be on that slab for real."

They got into the waiting cab, the driver still looking in the rear-view. He was already wishing like hell he'd left this crazy woman waving on the sidewalk, now she drags along a bum in a cheap suit? "Where to?" he asked
"1890 Monticello" said Lucky

It was nearly midnight when the cab pulled in the long circular drive. The porch lights were on, but the house was dark. Lucky and Blake got out of the cab and waved the driver off before going to the door. Lucky peered in the downstairs windows while Blake pounded on the door. A few minutes later, a light went on upstairs, and a few moments after that, a large man in a silk dressing gown answered the door.
"What the hell is going on here?" asked the man
"Judge Ellow," Lucky pushed her way onto the porch, "My name is Lucky Day."

The three sat in the judge's office, each nursing a scotch, and each really not believing what they were hearing from the others.
"Well," spoke Ellow, "You make sense," he nodded to Blake, "A simple security job for an entertainer, I can understand that. But you," he turned his gaze to Lucky, "Why in the world is there a murder case in my courtroom for a woman who is not dead?"
Lucky set her drink down, and cradled Blake's injured hand in her own. "The nearest we can figure, as strange as it sounds, is this: We're all being duped. Condolezza might have thought she 'was' having me killed, but she's not exactly the swiftest horse in the herd. Someone wanted that bug put in her ear. Sure, at first we thought Theet, but he's dead now too, and the only guy who could possibly answer me as to why, well, he's dead as well. On the one hand, we have these anonymous corporate backers that seemed to be pumping money into both Condolezza, and into oil. Then we have government agencies that don't seem to know what they want. At first it seemed like my 'death' would be something to clear up the case, but they were just using me to nail Condolezza. Why? Maybe they wanted the oil for themselves, maybe they wanted Condolezza's next album to be 'the Herone's Hits From Alcatraz'. I dunno, and I don't care, the whole thing is your typical governmental clusterfuck, and all I can tell you is that she didn't kill me, I'm not dead."

Judge Ellow stared at Lucky. "Seems to be grounds enough for mistrial...except for one small problem, Condolezza Schwartz escaped from the county jail this afternoon."
"No offense sir, but that sounds like your problem, and not ours." said Lucky. "I just want it to be clear that the charges against her were a crock. How you choose to proceed is your own business. I'm, that is we're, going home."

The jet touched island soil just as the sun was coming over the horizon. Lucky and Blake had dozed the entire trip, and the initial pull of rubber on asphalt tugged them both out of sleep and into morning. They walked the short distance from the airport to a broken-down little bar on the beach. The hand painted sign said "Lucky's", and Blake gave her a questioning glance that she shrugged off as she climbed the stairs to the apartment above. "We can talk about it later, Mr Spade, we don't have a thing now but time."

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 08:04 AM

EPILOGUE: (One month later)

It was hot and sticky, but the gin was cold, and through the window he could just make out the waving sunflowers, and in the distance, the different blues of sea and sky. He said:

"Did I see what's his name, that cabana boy --"

"Rafael."

"Rafael. Did I see him bring a newspaper in with the gins?"

"Oh, yes," she said. "I glanced at it, but there was nothing in it."

"Mmmm. That's good," he said. "Now where were we?"

On the floor, curled under the discarded swimming suits and the crumpled beachtowels, the headlines read: "CUBS WIN WORLD SERIES, McGRIFF COMES THROUGH."
TWAIN IN SUDBURY MINESHAFT, ACCEPTING NOBEL PRIZE SAYS 'NEUTRINOS COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY'"
"SUPREME COURT APOLOGIZES TO AMERICAN PEOPLE, CALLS FOR NEW PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IN 2002. BUSH VOWS MISSILE SHIELD AROUND WHITE HOUSE"
"SINGER SCHWARZ HITS TOP OF CHARTS WITH ANTI DEATH PENALTY ALBUM: "BEEN THERE, ALMOST DONE THAT" GOES TITANIUM."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 07:47 PM

Neutrinos can happen to anybody!! It's true!!! And you guys are living proof.

Gareth, Jen, Peter T -- a masterful reprise and resolution.

Thanks for the easy part!! I loved the story!

A

Subject: RE: Famed Folk Diva Schwartz Goes On Trial
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 08:12 PM

Bravo/a!!!!