Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)

Subject: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 10:39 AM

Yes folks!!! here is a unique chance to put facaes to the mudcat names. We are playing at Hope and Anchor on this coming saterday night. 9pm.start.

pete (deanmeister)Dean

Dave (legs) Oakley

Mick (ossonflags) McGarry

Andy (not as yet joined) Watson

it is my prediction there will be a certain amount of bear supped that night.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 10:43 AM

Are the faeces provided, Mick, or do we bring our own?

Gary

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 11:23 AM

Come, pull up a stool and enjoy the Charmin speciality act.

"Rectum?" "Well, it certainly didn't do them any good."

Ossenflags you are the limit at times. This thread will new be a faecal point for those with difficulties. But I salut you as always.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 12:48 PM

er... Lincolnshire .... I think not!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 12:50 PM

Actually guys - I amongst other 'ull catters will be in leafy warwickshire with sume bear and sume bananannas. Have a great gig.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 12:59 PM

I like to go but it is to far away and i am werking on Saturdat anyway, bannannas are good, they make you shit.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:39 PM

Ossenflags, look what you have done. The dawn of the ultimate shit thread. Still, at least jOhn doesn't suffer from a tendency to transpose Js and Ws - thank the Lord. I am going to spend quality time with my cattle now, to escape from the memory. And then I'm on me bike to the Hase.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 06:48 PM

Hi Oakleaf how was the Hase is it worth a visit

Gerry (suffering ? from johN's complaint((too much bear99

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 06:57 PM

helloo ebery body i went to the HAse , it was really nice, i saw plenty od mudcat peepol, thwre was Me 9john from hull_ and Gary9 shipjak) and oaklet, and john and john and nicky but there computers was busted so them cant see mudcdcat now, but they going to mend them sooon.john pS they t play a nice tune it gose like this = dem de de de de de dem de , dem de , dedlle eddle dem dem, dem de, i do'nt noe what it called butr it is nice.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:09 PM

anyway Linda says " i hope you have a great big" A great big what?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:51 PM

Just got back to see that jOhn is suffering from immidiate incoherence syndrome. He was lucid only an hour ago. Still, the Hase was a good place to be and I am glad that this Punch the Horse thread has been spared, temporarily, from the toilet. I am now going to have a great big poo, so I'll see you when I can.

Gerry, apply the cream and get some sleep.

jOhn, I think the tune was Marigold and you have flaunted the copyright laws in humming it on a thread read by literally tens of people. I will probably Sue, but will wait until birclays have finished with you.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:09 PM

hello oakey, it was god to see yoo in the hAsE , i still thinking aboot buying a bike , so i can join the perple helmit displat teem, i speak to Skipack9 aboot it, but i ask you as well, what yoo think? john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:14 PM

You were a born Purple Helmet, joHn. Now try to rest. It has been a busy day. Don't buy a new bike if you can resist. Good servicable (probably stolen but who cares?) racers can be had for £20. I have to milk at 5.30, so I'm off.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:16 PM

PS, Me and Gary (Skipjack9) was playing with each others instruments tonight, he said my instrument is very nice, his instrument is older than mine but he still let me play with it.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 02:56 AM

Oakley, I do hope this thread is not going to degenerate into comments on your bowel movements.

Skipjack, Faeces are not obligatory, but can be provided on request.

Linda, I am suprised at you,swapping a night with us,for warwickshire. What is going on there by the way?

John, the way you sound south ferriby is miles away, you could come and see us and still have time for bear and shake the pan at mustafa's.

deanmeister, you are strangely quiet, what news on the busking front?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 03:56 AM

since this seems to be a faecal point, shouls i be seen to be going through the motions?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 04:16 AM

Seldom do I take issue with me mate Ossonflags, but how could an invitation to put faeces to our names, in the opening post, degenerate further? Mick, you are not too big to be bent across my knee, to allow Mr. and Mrs. spank to pay a visit to botty - land. Hmmmm...I have just revised my position on that and realised that you probably are.

I do hope that this doesn't become an opportunity for troubled souls, to drivel on about bowels, toilet paper, the laxative effect of bannnannnas or pulling up stools. But the signs are not good.

And jOhn, a personal message: Grrrrrrr.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 04:28 AM

I have just read that after a brief spell under the ownership of Transco, control the Post Office has now passed to Insignia - makers of low quality co-ordinating gents' grooming products, often overpowering motorway service stations and Little Chefs at the start of the company rep-shift.

This is a troubled world and I am heartily glad that I am a small hairy farmer.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 09:01 AM

Point taken Oaks, but why do you continue with this fixation of all things lavatorial?I could say if I was slightly wimpy, that original thread was a spelling mistake,but I fear that no one would believe me. However,the visitation of the spank familly does have a certain attraction.Maybe we could have it as part of the underwater soot juggling act, with of course the added atraction of the smoke machine.

Have i misseed something along the way, when did you become a small farmer?

and is anyone coming on saterday?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 09:23 AM

Point taken Oaks, but why do you continue with this fixation of all things lavatorial?I could say if I was slightly wimpy, that original thread was a spelling mistake,but I fear that no one would believe me. However,the visitation of the spank familly does have a certain attraction.Maybe we could have it as part of the underwater soot juggling act, with of course the added atraction of the smoke machine.

Have i misseed something along the way, when did you become a small farmer?

and is anyone coming on saterday?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 09:26 AM

oops!!!!!! strange computor,pressed submit twice.Time for a second visit from the spank familly.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 10:03 AM

Would love to see Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)on saterday but I'm doing a wedding ceilidh so have a good 'un without me

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 10:29 AM

I heard 'lodger' Frank is coming over to see you, so I plan to take Mrs Drinkall at No.21 to heaven and back. Will pop in for a snifter if I've any energy left.

Gary

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 12:11 PM

Ossonflags, it appears that Mrs Drinkall from no 21 and Skipjack appear the most likely to come on Saturday, given the evidence from the thread. I may well come myself, but later.

My smallholding is legendary amongst local people. To illustrate, I will be in shorts on Saturday night if that's ok with you.

Gerry, are you sure it's ok to do that, what with the banjo problem and all? And to prove that I am not of a lavatorial disposition: not a single mention of taking a dump after feeling the turtle's head all afternoon. Oh bugger!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 12:49 PM

There you are!!!! you just cant stop yourself can you?

Oakiepoos,you must really try and get a grip on what, quite frankly is becoming an obssesion,turtles head yet.

I will try and get some nerve balm (and possibly a small boiled egg) down me before I am ready for yet another exposure to your beautifully, yet manly, well turned calves.

Looking forward to meeting skipjack again and Mrs. Drinkall from no.21 I myself will be bringing some of the Hull groupies and a couple of caledonian visitors, so they at least will not be as shocked at sight of the undraped nethers as some less sturdy folk.

The Punchmobile will be dropping anchor outside the owld pub on saterday at 8.00pm. or near as dammit,excuse me dropping into the nautical venacular,but am feeling that way since I have just shown someone how to tie a bowline on the bight(well it makes the day go in doesnt it?)

I am know going for some bear to be followed by a haricot bean curry,you guess the rest,I am sure your fertile, if slightly bizzare imagination can dredge up something.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 02:41 PM

Well I'll be one of the ones in Warwick. South Ferriby sounds interesting, I would like to come to. But I think I'll stay unconcious.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM

I'll be part of the alternative bear-supping party, abroad in Warwickshire (complete with bannannannas), so no chance of meeting the small hairy farmer yet. I shall be making enquiries of my respectable 'ull acquaintances this weekend (well, Linda and Les may have to do) as to the suitability of Mr Oakley for the porpoise I have in mind for him...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 08:35 PM

Mick is soonding fed up that no mudcat peepol are going , so i might go anyway and ring in sick, i dont know yet, but if anyone sees my boss pleese dont tell him i am not sick, 9he will complane at me).john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 02:45 AM

Gary, just a word of caution, Nozzer, one of Mrs D at no 21's er.. friends, told me that he was displeased about her tactiturn approach to er... being... er comforted. When he asked her to moan a bit to enhance his pleasure during the geriatric gyrations, she started with her displeasure at plumber never turning up at the appointed hour and finished with the effect that eggs now had on her "back body", blaming "those buggers who put all the chemicals in me food". Via a succession of complaints that included the washing machine door seal, her unreasonable neighbour's (me) habit of exposing himself, and the speed of the traffic through the village.

Nozzer dines out on this still, although I prefer less forgetful people who have more than one story to share.

I thought you should be warned. By the way, "Lodger" Frank is under the doctor for "waterworks trouble" and might have to have "it" removed. Though what "it" is, remains to be seen. He is a very hairy man, Frank.

Er...Hi Noreen.....Er how ya doin? I have just come back from the milking sheds, and now have marine mammal anxiety. Enjoy Warwick, I'll be in me shorts in Lincs.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,The DeanMeister
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 06:21 AM

Looks like I shall be coming to Ferriby on me throbbing beastie. Can I therefore become an honourary member of the moist purple helmets, Oakley? Or is 150 mph a bit too quick for you?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 07:01 AM

There is no beauty in that sort of rushed, macho nonsense; one only acheives grace and poise when about to fall off from a squeaking rusty bicycle, depositing a keybord that you squash it9 onto a grass verge to whoops of delight from the community on the 164. And leaking slightly into the lycra. But turn up, with a damp crotch, slightly incoherent and covered in bruises and tyre marks and it would be a different matter entirely.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 12:51 PM

What a refreshing change to see something on this thread without referance to bowel movements,I thought, till i looked at oakleys last missive in depth.

are you really going on the deanmobile, axeman?

need to know for definate,and what news of the busking?

Be delighted to see you at the gig john,I need to be formaly introduced to this hamster.

Are you really going ahead with the undraped legs ,oakiepoos?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 03:27 AM

Oakley, I shall be meeting up with Noreen at Warwick -Apparrently she think's you look like Tom Selleck -what should I do?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 04:33 AM

Linda, explain that I am a semi-continent bald git with a ginger beard and that my mom still buys my underwear. And I smell of cow shit most of the time. That should discourage the poor woman, unless of course she is as disturbed as I am, in which case it might encourage her. You are her friend, for God's sake counsel her before it's too late.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 05:25 AM

For God's sake, Oaklet, stop selling yerslf short. Not only does the dowry include seventeen cows and a Bedford Rascal, but also a highly decorative bicycle, slightly smoke damaged, and a bothy below sea level in the ague infested flood plain of the Humber. This is a man of some substance, if perhaps an inconsistent grasp on reality. I can tell you that Mrs Drinkall would very much like to get her cocoa there, three times every week.

Garforth

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,smallpiper
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 05:56 AM

Sorry wont be at Ferriby but will be folk partying it in Durham but have a good poo free gig won't you and I'll see you for a full report on wednesday at Goxhill. Oakley,is that one of your cows I see making a swim for freedom accross the crystal clear waters of the humber?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 10:59 AM

Gary, Don't tell Noreen, but the van is a Toyota Hiace in blue. They should have made a cult film about it.

I had the very great pleasure earlier this morning, of meeting Ossenflags, dressed as an angler, ambling shambolically towards his workplace. He greeted me with the quaint Hullism "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" And I was touched. I offered him a lift, and he bought buns from the ship next to The Avenue Takeaway, the now-famous chicken specialist, bog-roll bereft, arse-washing employer of our very own jOhn.

Being engaged in the science of extracting money from the independent fitted furniture trade today, has meant leaving the cows in the capable hands of "Lodger" Frank, who turned up this morning looking very dapper in a trilby and navy blazer with a huge badge sewn on it.

I havn't been able to speak to him all afternoon, and Mrs Drinkall is also missing. I suspect that he might be neglecting his duties, and fear that I have one beast who is convinced it is one of Noreen's porpoises. If I am down to 17 freisians, I will seize his aging Metro. So help me.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 11:50 AM

Oaklet-weve got a lot in comom ,I used to smell of turkey shit 9I used to werk in a turkey factory) but now i smell of curry 9I werk in a currry ship).john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 02:26 PM

Smallpiper, I have accounted for all 18 beasts. But not "Lodger" Frank or Mrs Drinkall at no 21.

There is talk around here of a crack Humberside Police Underwater Search and Ceiledh Unit which trains on Friday afternoons in a borrowed submarine in the crystal waters of the Humber. I think you may have spotted it earlier.

Enjoy Durham. It should be shit-free gig tomorrow, but Ossonflags may impose his own agenda on the affair, without realising that we are ready for him. I will have a detailed report on your desk at Goxhill on Wednesday.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 02:46 PM

John, as you are a thoroughly nice guy, I am glad that we have something in common, but secretly I wish that it wasn't smelling like shit at some time or other. Do you know that there are Americans on your thread? Right now! Banjo-Flower spotted them and shouted for me. Would you like to address some of your thoughts on bannanas, bear, bircleys, Transco, chicken or anything else for that matter to the Americans, jOhn? I think you should. They are waiting. In America, where it is probably dark.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,dodgy bird
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 03:30 PM

john i feel a strange affinity towards you although i do not work in a curry shop i am rather partial to one of an evening i also have a dodgy keyboard which is fortunately behaving its self today i finish work late at night then go home and drink loads of beer whilst reading drivel on the net and i own a hamster. do you think we may have been seperated at birth?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 04:17 PM

Hi GUEST,dodgy bird you should be drinking bananery bear its lots better than beer is'nt it johN9

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 04:45 PM

Gerry, Help me. There are more Americans on jOhn's thread. I've been polite to them so far, but you are much better at this sort of thing than me. Come on! talk to them. Don't leave it all to me.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,dodgy bird
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 06:10 PM

hello banjo flower the worrying thing is that i have sampled the delights of banana beer. chales wells has alot to answet for i believe the delights were found in the tap, beverley(sun inn0i believe nowadays)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 10:03 PM

HEllooo Dodgy Bird-I think we shud definetley meet up, I am looking for a new women 9my last one was crap, arguing and spending my hard erned muney on useless rubbish like curtains etc) My new wumun should be good at tidying up and washing the cloths, and she should like folk music and like animuls 9especially hamsters) you do'nt need to be good at cooking because i werk in a taker way.If you like to meet me, just let me know, i wo'nt put my adrees here in case sume bad peepol come round and nick my chips or bannnannas or ice creem, 9it was reaaly hot today so i got sume ice creem) but i live 5 doors away from mick 9ossenflags) i lokk forwerd to meet yoo.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 11:59 PM

dodgy bird- i forgot to ask you few things=What is you're hamster called? how old are you? 9my next wumon should be ages 20 to 40) and what you look like? 9good lucking is not importunt, but i hope you not to skinny) you should hurry up if yoo want to go out with me, because i got my eye on one girl in Tip & spale, Hull, she can playing the piano.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 12:24 AM

Hello, i habe just read the rest of this thread again, i habe met Oaklet and nOreen, and i think they will make a good pear, but Gary might get jellus, so do'nt tell him.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,dodgy bird
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:19 AM

hello john you should never ask a lady her age but as im a dodgy bird it is ok im 35 tall dark hair dont like curtains or hoovers im not too bad at washing clothes or rather i have one of those nice machines that do it all for you i can cook love animals and my hamster is called guiness hope this fills in a few gaps for you

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:36 AM

I'd be HAPPY to meet you!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:42 AM

PS. anybody else spotted the similarities between Mr Happy and dodgy bird? I wonder if they are related, they must be living together as they appear to be using the same computer!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 04:36 AM

John,

this might sound like I am being a tad picky, but what as eating ice cream got to do with living five doors away from me?

Oh, and good luck with your new relationship with dodgy bird/mr. happy/guinness the hamster.

Is anyone going to rogers open mic session at the Sun Inn beverley tomorrow(4.pm start)?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:50 PM

It's in an an hour and a bit, it's free and on the A1077 between Barton and Winterton at the confluence of the Ancholme river and the Humber. Gary is coming, when he's taken Mrs Drinkall to a place she'll never forget. I on the other hand, will be left talking to Frank about the war and how he made a small fortune out of rationing.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:58 PM

And don't you underestimate how much Mrs D cherished her sausage in those dark days. I'm still trying to convince her that the ARP man won't see the light on through the blankets on the windows.

Gazza

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,dodgy bird
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 01:53 AM

john not living with mr happy! will be at nellies for the sess i'll be the one that can't play the piano (fortunately cos it's not a very good one by all accounts) maybe see you and the the rest of the banana beer drinking crowd there oh and if it's hot do you think they'll let us take icecream

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 02:06 AM

It was a good gig. Quote of the night: "God I hate this job" (landlady whilst trying to deal with the flotsam). Garry and I are going to get arrested next Sunday in Beverley. And I am off to sort out the cows, in the hot sunshine.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 06:49 AM

it was a memorable night in many ways.Not quote of the night but sight of the night must have been the undraped lower limbs of oakley.He being him he had to take it the one stage further by played the entire gig with no shoes on!!! This combined with the assorted aromas from the various botty burps and breath like a camels arse, had fair maidens,me and assorted strong men realing in their tracks. He is now known on both sides of the Humber as "The Sandie Shaw of the folk scene"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 07:17 AM

I also got sexually assaulted by a drunk woman whilst she was on the way to the toilet. And I got kissed by 5 different people, at least 3 of which were those female types9. Following your advice, I have had All Bran this morning to try to jump-start the bowel. Given the unfortunate start to the thread, a fitting end, that.

Did anyone spot the Humberside Police Special Whistles Division lurking in the corner, cunningly disguised as a normal person without his trademark centre-parting?

"Lodger" Frank is in his vest, braces and enormous flannel trousers, reading the Sunday Mirror and puffing contentedly on his pipe, in the back garden at No 21. In 10 minutes, he will be in for a terrible shock, as me kit in coming right off, any minute now.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 08:11 PM

I could not go because i had to go to wrrk, i was going to ring in sick, but i decided it was not werth the hassle i would get off mr miserable face the next day.It is really hot here 9in hull) so i have tuck all my cloths off and i am eeting sume ice creem, what you going to be arrested for Oaklet? I had a really weird dream last night=Mick the horse puncher was drilling a hole in my foot, using a cordless drill, 9very scary) i woke up frightened and i lokked under the bed to check mick was not there! 9he wasn't).i will go to nellies on sunday.john Ps. I think hot wether and to mutch bear gives you scary dreams.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 08:36 PM

so a good night was had by all so it seems sorry i missed it had to obey the good lady wife and b.b.q in the sun whilst drinking copius amounts of alcohol hopefully will make the next durty nellies do will you clarify dates for me please

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:22 AM

Guest,the next "do"is at nellies (beverley) next sunday afternoon 2.oopm start till 6,7,8 ish.

There is a busking contest in beverley next saterday wich a feww of the nellies lot will be paryicipating, ourselves included (Punch The Horse) and we are playing in Hull at Durty Nellies on Saterday night 9.00 pm start.

Oakiepoos, I am ecstatic that you took my advice re.camels arse breath.I would suggest you extend the treatment by in vesting in a gross or two of extra strong mints before I have the privilage of taking the stage with you again.

John,I would lay of that Vindaloo if I was you.Did you check the wardrobe?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:34 AM

John, exactly how high is your bed off the floor? Ossonflags, my breath is now snogging sweet again. Are we booked in for the busking competition on Saturday? I am starting to think of the bicycle again.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,smallpiper
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:55 AM

You could be right about the submersible police crew oakers, they are a sneeky lot, fancy putting the plain clothes whistle division onto you, lucky you spotted them or you'd ha bin done for summit for sure!

Durham was good rather like the PVFF but smaller although the rugby club were most accomodating and served Bear till very late but there were no bannnnnnnnnannnnnnnnaaaasss or ice cream.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:52 AM

Boo.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:56 AM

Hi Deanmeister, again.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:02 PM

cheers ossonflags will try to make durty nellies

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 06:52 PM

Oh, Oaklet my dear, it would appear we are kindred spirits: I too performed this weekend barefoot! (with the wonderful Shellback Chorus in the aformentioned famed Warwickshire.) It is obviously meant to be. Linda has told me all about you, jOhn has given us his blessing, and your breath smells sweetly: for what are you waiting? Gary need never know...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:38 AM

Oakiepoos,

Prepare the larger of the water tanks, break out the fog machine,large amounts of the best lincolnshire soot and the lycra posing pouch, we are appearing in the buskers thingy.Meet up at Beverley Picture playhouse for 10.00am on Saterday morn.

Ecstatic about the camels arse free breath.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:17 AM

There is a certain siren calling at me and I'm about to dash meself on the rocks. Linda, why is the poor woman still interested when you've told her all about me? You havn't been on about Tom Sellick, body hair, muscular bits and an engaging smile again have you? Yesterday I received by e mail a photo taken during the Potato Orchestra's gig outside Holy Trinity. If the poor woman needs more proof that I am a complete shambles, I'll publish it here. Can anyone giz a clue how to do this?

John is suffering from the heat, obviously.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:52 AM

yOu are right Oaklet, itt is to hot, i am going to put my trowsis on and go to Jacksons for sume ice creem, my feet are smelling very bad today, so i tried to wash them in the washing up bowel, but it leeks , so i ended up with a big puddle on the carpet and stood in it.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:59 AM

ps, I think NOrenn knows how to send the photos to mudcat, or you can get your own wibsete and make a link to it, i got on free one from lycos, i think it is johnevans@tripod@lycos or something like that, i cant find it now, it might be @lycos.uk or sumething I m not sure really.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 03:05 AM

ps I am glad they have stopped putting all them nines in my messages, i dont know who it was, but it was getting annoying me, I think it was pobably Guest trying to make trubble, 9there is no nines in my last 3 messages , so if there is any when you sees this they have added them when i wasn't loiking).john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:04 AM

John, how ya doin'? Jacksons insist on its male customers wearing trousers, particularly when bent over the freezers to retrive ice cream. There was a brief mention of seminal curry on your thread yesterday and I came over all uneccessary. Leeks are known for their deoderant properties, but not in Ossenflag's system. Are you going still jiggling in Beberley9 on Saturday?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,DeanMeister
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:23 AM

anybody in?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:35 AM

Oaklet, you can display your likeness in all its glory on the Mudcat Member Photos and Info page (that's what it says in the drop-down menu at the top of this page- but I suggest that you don't restrict the photo to a particular part of your anatomy) by sending your photo to Pene Azul- instructions on that page, or click here to speed the process.

While you're at it, ask PA to put you in the Mudcat Locator. Currently it thinks there is only one catter in 'Ull, which methinks is not an accurate representaion of 'Ullites bid for Mudcat/world domination.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley, stripped to the waist and covered in
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:46 AM

Whilst playing at the Hope and Anchor, on Saturday, I glanced backwards and watched the pride of the Humber Sloop and Preservation Society - The Comrade, slip it's river mooring and glide effortlessly past the pub into the Humber. It was on its way to remove the passengers from sister ship Amey Howson which had been grounded on the mud banks earlier. I don't know if it was Ossenflag's enchanting vocal prowess, or the sight of my nethers, or me breath, come to that but the crew ended up exactly in the same position about an hour later. Muttering obscenities. Anyone within gobbing distance of the Humber can now see a Humber Keel and a Humber Sloop stuck fast in the channel to the west of Read's Island. Where they are likely to remain for at least two weeks, on account of the state of the tides, and the crew will probably turn to cannabalism again, this being Lincolnshire. Another equine triumph!

Deanmeister, are you running out of ink again? Your posts have a certain pithiness about them?

It is a Tuesday, and someone should mention the session in Nelly's, Beverley about now, so it might as well be me. I am now in training. Who else is making an apperance?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:56 AM

Covered in what, Oaklet? Chocolate?

(Thought it was me wot was supposed to be luring sailors onto the rocks mudbanks?)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 09:35 AM

I am worried that they have drink stowed aboard, and they might eventually get the hang of the rowing boat. It is only one nautical mile of frenzied, testosterone and human flesh-fuelled, bearded rowing to my Friesians. Who had an uncomfortable night in the stalls, during the storms. I could still detect the plaintive, haunted drunken voices of the stranded sailors though, on the still, sticky night air. And the ethereal haunting song of Noreen the siren, atop an abandoned supermarket trolley, its dull chrome glinting pulsingly in the intermittent, heavy moonlight.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:33 AM

Anyway, Noreen, John said we'd make a good PEAR, in a momentary lapse of concentration. This is not the same as receiving his blessing, which would have involved the word PERA, at least a couple of nines, and a celebratory equals sign for good measure.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:47 AM

Oaklpoos,

Get your head out of the fresians arses and start reading the threads.

It states very clearly what we are doing on sat. and in the other personal oakley/john threads. nellies both bev. and 'ull is given a mention by myself.Pray excuse me sounding a little terse but I have just read on "meaning of BS "thread a personal attack on our drivel pool sites.

It may be worth our while to add our own pithy comments to their own?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:14 AM

re mmeaning of bs,have just added own pithy comment

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:16 AM

I will have to soothe you again, Ossonflags.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:16 AM

Read "bs what does bs stand for?"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 12:01 PM

Now look what you've done- not only has the drivel spread to yet another thread, but we've been accused of clogging. And I don't think it was North West clogging...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:10 PM

Everyone calm down. It could be a flash in Mustaffa's pan9. Doug has been asked to express his views here, by me and Ossonflags. I think he is local. If he does, I will soothe him with my hands dipped in balm. And you can do the same whilst drivelling. I think he is actually a very nice guy, and if it's the same bloke, one hell of a melodian player. Hence my reply about the Wooton session with which he may be familiar. Any drivel now will be wholly innapropriate......but what the buggery bollocks. I am now going with "Lodger" Frank to move the friesians to the stalls and Mrs Drinkall has finally washed her nets. I hope Siren Noreen isn't put off by the fracas, and spare a thought for the sailors marooned one nautical mile from the Hope and Anchor, South Ferriby UK.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:10 PM

yet again you have lepped to the rescue with your balm encrusted hands,you horny handed son of the soil you. Consider me soothed.However with your new found breath sans camels arse,maybe you would have the same success with siren noreen.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:37 PM

Ossenflags, leave the siren to me, I came fourth in a Tom Sellick look-alike competition in 1998 and have been looking for an opportunity to capitalise upon it. (The other three competitors were women). Doug is honest, that's all. He says what he thinks. And you know exactly how that is, and why you have so many friends. Honesty at all times and the presence of extraordinary friendships are not unrelated. Christ, that was soppy, even for me and I've already hit the submit button. Darn!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:57 PM

hEloo oaklet-I think honesty is important, i went to get my ice creem this morning, and i noticed sume basturd had nicked my wheely bin 9basturds!), in the last few weeks i had my car nicked , my chips, now my wheely bin, i am going to nick sumbody elses and tie it securely to my door this time.if you see a black wheely bin with 89 painted on it it is mine, but their is no reward for getting it back. A clue to if it is mine or not is it smills of bear and curry.I habe lost the key for my winnders, so my house stinks of bad feet in this wether, 9john harpmaker came to my house for to drink sume bear and he said "john, you house stinks, and to many bear cans in the flooor"), so i will habe to find it soon.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM

For sale: One wheelie bin. Hardly used. Would suit someone living at 89 somewhere. O Jesus, I have to leave the drivel pool via the shallow end. I have never been so very, very tired.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:07 PM

I live at 68 can i have it at half-price

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:12 PM

Gerry, what the fuck are you doing up at this hour? By the way, do you know what Doug is really like? You know, any goss? Just between you and me, you know, come on gez, jezza, just spill the beans, come on...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:24 PM

What Doug of the folk police ? he sez he's going to have you for (allegedley9 ssh ENJOYING DRIVEL an i'll tell you the rest on sunday Btw what HAS happened to johN?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:26 PM

Oaklet-Doug plays concertina, and he's a scoutmaster.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:36 PM

"Do you teach pipes?" said JohNho FROM Hull, Well a bit I said. "Get your arse round, and ile teach you what I know". sO, we did a bit and it was OK. "Do you like my pipes" said 6john FROM hull9 (work that one out!) (me july!) I said 'yes, very nice, loverley skin, what is it btw,. You have just met my Hampster, he said.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:42 PM

aS this os a horse thread, i decided to post sumetink relevant, heres a horse tip=Rock of Gibralter, to win the 3.20 at Glorious Goodwood today.I reckon its got a good chance, the only danger been Novere, ridden by Mr Dettori. The oss is owned by Sir Alex of Manchester 9I wonder if he is any relation to Sir Roger de Beberley?), and has won his last 6 races, including the 2000 guineas, the Irish 2000 Guineas and the St James Stakes.9I will buy a new house for my hamster if it wins.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:55 PM

Also, when are you comming to see me and chris, awSome-flagingbottoms?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:20 PM

what the eck you on aboot JOhn, have you been drunking? its ot innit?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:28 PM

john-have you changed your name to July or summat, you put in brackets me july.if said oss wins, i might be phoning yer temmorer for a manderlin lesson,ps how is your 'e goldfishes? are yo going ter nellies on sunndy?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:17 AM

oakley,as i have already said consider me soothed.

There is absolutly no need to labour the point with this uncharecteristic soppyness. I am well aware that honesty is the best policy (trust me, i'm a shop steward remember?) I also say what I think.The matter is now closed.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:43 AM

harpmaker,why you no answer my emails? We have not fallen out have we? are you at the busking thingy?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 05:03 AM

I've been thinking hard about the unpleasantness and discontent expressed in this thread, and if you bear with me, I think I have come up with a suggestion that will work.

What I propose is that Gerry purchases the 89 wheelie bin form Oaklet 9it having been de-spiced and in no way malodourous), and then stands it upside down outside number 68, he will solved his refuse disposal problem, Oaklet will have successfully fenced stolen goods, and jOhn doesn't have 9need of a bin if he is challenging Tracy Emin with his 'Unmade House' artistic statement; a sort of paeon to the take-away.

Gary

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:09 AM

I would love to stay here and contribute to the bribel, but i am going to see Mr William of Hill, to collect my winnings! 9did anybody bet on the oss that i told you about?).john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:13 AM

What did it come in at jOhn? Well done, mate.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse(Part two9
From: My guru always said
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:24 AM

Ahem..... excuse me..... I think you have a wheelie bin enquiry on the other line... call waiting

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:31 PM

Hey chaps. Just been reading Dougs attack on our drivel pool. If he ever meets Oakley, he will understand everything!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 08:31 PM

Gary-Click Ere

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 07:16 AM

Strewth, John, with £265,000 you could have bought Brian a cage in Surrey. Is it time to give Mustaffa the hard word

Gary

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 01 Aug 02 - 02:45 PM

Ossonwells, We had been of the net till Monday i think. prob see you on sun' though.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 14 Sep 02 - 08:42 PM

I feel strangely drawn to this thread. Although not from your delightfully (one can only assume) rural community, I shall endevour to attend the next punching of the horse. It is my hope to meet with the Poppy leaf and find out what a Fresian is. I also wish to make the aquaintance of John in Hull:- do you speak as you write? Have you ever written any songs? I am unsure of the Dean Mister; time will show the wiser. By the way, I am a new member from Boscombe so 'hi' to all you insomniac maniacs (no offence meant) and if any of you feel like saying 'hi' I'm here 'til... well, for the next half hour or so.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 03:22 AM

Hi Fatcat and welcome! It was good to read this drivel fest again. There will be more Punch the Horse Threads, as Ossonflags has (unlike me) attention seeking disorder. It would be great to meet you. Is that the Boscombe sort of near Bournemouth - ish?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 06:45 AM

Attention seeker,forsooth!!!!!!!!!!! who was thet hid behind the curtain in Foresters barking at me,and the audiance "follow that!!!!" every thirty seconds?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 07:09 AM

Attention seeker,forsooth!!!!!!!!!!! who was thet hid behind the curtain in Foresters barking at me,and the audiance "follow that!!!!" every thirty seconds?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 07:19 AM

Welcome indeed, Fatcat. Not sure of me, you say...?? Perhaps we shall meet at a pugilist event, and you will see what I am made of!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 07:20 AM

Repetition, hesitation and deviation Ossonflags. But you do have a point. I will bone up on humility this afternoon, but it is hard....

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 09:12 AM

Oakley, that's arrirmative. Ossonflags, I have reason to believe Oakley speaks the truth on the matter of Seeking Attention Disorder (or SAD) as on many occasions you post your thread not once but twice; it is possible that this is stress related and that if you were not under the pressure from the Oakthing (i have noticed he not only tells you when, how and why to join, but also criticises you on the content of your postings - this would be many months ago now, don't go looking for it) then perhaps....oh what the heck, it must be true anyway, i've bought into it and humoured you haven't i ? i am weak. Need the bog, will return shortly.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 09:28 AM

Dean Minster, are you at church today? is that your job? I meant no offence last night, but i am unsure of you as you don't post as much as some. What do you all play or do you all just come here to talk -Oakley i think you play the fiddle, Dean Mister as you break strings all the time you must be a naff guitar player (or at least not very lady-like.) There is one who plays the accordian, no, there are two, i forgot to say hi to Skipjack k8, i would love to meet you and the Oakjoke, perhaps we could meet soon, i am in Lincoln at the end of Sept, a dental hygiene convention, no really! so if you let me know what's on and where, i'll see what i can do.TTFN

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 11:31 AM

Fatcat, you'd be made very welcome at a PTH gig, or any of the sessions in and around Hull. What do you play or what do you like to sing? Keep in touch about the gums-and-plaque fest in Lincoln, particularly the Anti gum and plaque fest which might involve a bit of a sing or play within 40 miles (north) of Lincoln.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 12:51 PM

I am a bassoon player - still welcome? I also play concertina and sing very badly. My chum, mousemat (who turned me on to this wonderful institution) is a fantstic golfer but I think that is not relevant. He does however play clarinet and it is not uncommon for us to meet at the end of a long shift in the reception of my practice and jam. You would be very welcome should you ever find yourself of a dental disposition in B'mth. B Y O plaque!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 05:09 PM

Of course bassoonists are welcome. At the Sloop in Barton there are normally eight or nine9 naked bassoonsists, daubed in woad, banging their instruments on the walls, ankle-deep in mdf funiture fragments. Bad singing is also welcomed at the Sloop, but we remain circumspect about concertinas. Particularly MK1s. Next time I'm in Boscombe I'll come to your practice-and-jam shop, and have a bit of a play in reception. Keep in touch regarding Lincoln, and I'll let you know where the sessions are. I'm sure you will have a warm welcome.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 05:29 PM

Hello, Portlypuss, it will be our pleasure to make your aquaintance. There is a lot of plaque in Lincoln, being historical, lark.

I think you might've realised the hardwood fiddler is a little wide of the mark about the Sloop, as they are in fact naked didgeridooists.

If you can make the Sloop on a Tuesday, it will be an excellent chance for you to purchase the seminal Cara CD, 'A Slap beyond the Suti', a paeon to the good sense in wife-roasting. David doesn't approve of shameless plugging, but I'm not beyond telling you that this baby's selling like hot roti in the Khyber Pass.

My dog is a dental miracle, as she doesn't brush her teeth but has no plaque. And she does French.

Skipjack

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 07:46 PM

Naked is good, is it warm in your polar regions? I fear your dij players may suffer humiliation in the northern climes! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend your brash- bastard-bassoon-bash on tues as i am on call for emergency surgery, wish you could be there, if it's a quiet night, we could have a couple of tunes. I myself am not fond of the concertina, I find it most useful as a vacuum when I'm working, but don't tell my clients as most of them pay a fortune and possibly would rather not know! Skipjack, I would love to meet your dog, she does French.....what?!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 07:59 PM

I'd just love to meet your dog. BTW, what is the pvff or ff? you're organising another, any chance of my getting a stall, it sounds like plenty of work for me and a cleaner, more healthy environment for you, let me know, most of my equipment is portable. I must go now, have to iron my whites for the morning, it usually takes between 45-50 mins each set (I am considerably larger than most) TTFN

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 Sep 02 - 04:29 AM

pvff = peoples voice folk festival, the fringe event that was organised in place of the beverley folk festival this year

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 16 Sep 02 - 05:19 AM

So many questions, Portlypuss. There's nothing we like more than a wierd session, so just tell us where the surgery is, and we'll play to the aching masses. That should sift out the malingerers.

And it will be an excellent chance for David to air the more poppy tunes from the semenal Cara CD, 'A Slip-Up on the Potty', the thinking child's guide to trainer pants. If howls of derision head him off, he can always fall back on the old favourites on their greatest hits album, 'Aspic beyond the Satay'. These guys do food music better than Commander Cody.

I shouldn't sound so proud about my xenophobic dog, but there's nothing she likes more than sinking her bonty chompers into a Gallic arse.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 16 Sep 02 - 06:25 PM

Smallpiper,HI! thanks. We haven't met yet.(Are you involved with these disturbed souls? I will pray for you) Skipjack, liking your theory! shall we organise a bus trip? Thursday is good:-everyone off work to claim benefit and in my rec to pass time 'til pub opening. Get you down here by ..how far away are you? Tell you what, send the CD instead and I'll let you know if I was able to knock off in time for lunch!! Please also send your dog as down here we are just a little too close to the French for comfort. Are you the guys who did 'Break the leg off my chicken'? It was a great song. Ah no, sudden memory input, it was Spank the Donkey. Well, I'm off now, going to pop in and see if there's any chewing gum under the desk at rec and have a general.oops, that should be a general clean up. TTFN

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Sep 02 - 12:48 AM

Who are yoo fatcat? And what sort of cat food do yoo eat?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: fatcat
Date: 20 Sep 02 - 08:13 PM

j9Ohn frfrom ulL, how i have awaited this moment. I am partial to bear mmmmm. 9sand babbannanaas. Alas I joke with you heartily my friend, I am 'sole'ly a Tuna 9tuner) eater. Watch out Skipjack!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,S9kipja9ck 9K98
Date: 21 Sep 02 - 04:13 PM

Wheredy'awanna start, baby?