BS: Oh, the pain, the pain

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 01:51 PM

Thanks McGrath, it`s the pain.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 07:48 AM

24th April 03 - 9.34!!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 07:08 AM

The writing of an experienced person, better advice than my disinterested doctor ever gave, forever grateful catspaw49, see this for anyone in dire pain, up the Thread 24th April 02 - 9.34

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 01:10 PM

Kendall, I was sure there was an etymological connection between Uriah and Urine/Urethra/Urology, and you found it for me. Thanks.
'Spaw, no thanks, I'll wait for the DVD with the deleted scenes - you know, the "Director's Cut."

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 12:21 PM

ROTFLMAO, Skipper. That Uriah sure had a flair for those one liners...

A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 12:17 PM

My nurses all invited me back whenever I get sick.
They gave me a powerful laxative as part of the "treatment". And it reminded me of Uriah Boardman back home. I told them the story.
He got a complete exam on his 90th birthday, and the doctor couldn't find a thing wrong with him
After the exam, doctor says, "You are getting along in years now, and, I'm wondering, how are your bowels? regular?
Uriah says "Ayah, every mornin' 7 am."
Doctor says "That's great."
Uriah says, "I wouldn't say that......
I don't wake up 'til 8"

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 06:35 AM

Spaw... save them so you can supply them to medical personnel in the future if, God forbid, they are needed. My old man's records were lost twice when he was being moved to another "unit" in the SAME hospital.

A while back, I too had the occasion to have a cold steel rod inserted where the sun don't shine by my GP, a friend of mine from university days. He said, "You might feel a bit of pressure." I replied, "Well, if you.... JESUS CHRIST MAN !!! OH MY !! Tell you one thing, Preston, I'll never turn queer." After hearing a few guffaws from the waiting room, I asked, and was granted, an exit through the doctor's entrance.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 06:15 AM

I had a colonoscopy about 5 years ago. No thanks.
I have quit nuts, seeds and corn in any form.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 03:04 AM

And they say men don't talk about their problems like women do.....

Sympathies to all who've been 'invaded'.. just lie back next time and imagine it's Aliens.... then you can sell your story to the Fox network!

Hope you are all feeling better soon.



And have you noticed, the acid in the average stomach can disolve a gold tooth, but how come sweetcorn and pine nuts pass through unaffected?





I'll get me coat.



LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 02:41 AM

Listen Seamus, if you're interested, I have both still shots and VHS from my last colonoscopy as well as color footage of my last presugical TEE (Trans Esophageal Echocardiogram). Why I have these I have no idea.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 01:45 AM

Rick, I've heard of Reality TV, but this is ridiculous - or in your case (and Kendall's) ridickulous.
I think you both could sell the videos right along with Girls Gone Wild.
And donate the money to the Mudcat.....just a thought....

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 11:06 PM

Sure Seamus, but he hadn't just had a steel X-ray camera shoved up his shamrock!

Rick.....still smiling weakly.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 11:00 PM

Rick and Kendall, as my late grandfather used to say, there's nothing wrong with you two that a good shit and a piss won't cure.
Best to you both.


Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 10:47 PM

I also meant to add that it might be a good thing if this thread could be re-titled. I'm sure many of us could benifit from this info.

LL

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 10:44 PM

Oh dear kendall ... you have my sympathies! Everything Spaw said is right on ... you must be very careful with what you eat! If it happens again you must seek medical help.. you don't want an infection... this really can lead to a colon perferation and then the next step is the bag!! Please be very careful... this disease is the shits! You must do the cam-corder up the butt routine... this disease can mimic colon cancer. Don't mean to be an alarmist but it can be very serious if left unattented. Take good care and please PM me if you'd like more info.

LL

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 09:03 PM

Thanks, Capting -- I'll track it down!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 08:25 PM

What, me change?

Amos, I'd like to recommend to you my favorit piece of fiction. SILVERLOCK by John Myers Myers. First published 1949

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 06:39 PM

Well... it's the one who goes through the most dramatic change by the end of the movie. When you describe it that way, it's almost like poetry!! LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 06:08 PM

Invited you? Crap! Does that mean I am paying?

Don't worry Amos. If Kendall doesn't see the resemblance, I will point it out.

M

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 05:00 PM

Sinsull invited me to see it, so, I will. Might be fun trying to guess whish one I remind you of, Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 12:36 PM

What kinda shape is that leather medal in, then, Kendall?

Oh, and BTW skipper -- go see "A Mighty Wind" even if it means driving to Augusta! There's a guy in there reminds me a bit of you, but I ain't sayin' who!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 06:58 PM

So far Sinsull, you get the leather medal.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 12:17 PM

Stress can be a huge factor in attacks. Stay stress free, Kendall, by keeping out of the political threads. Of course then your blood pressure will sky rocket. Choices. Choices.

Do you think I finally out-Spawed Spaw? Over 12 hours and no comeback...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: GUEST,emily b
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 09:22 AM

My boyfriend suffered from his first attack the night I moved in with him. That's right, I move in and make him sick to his stomach. He's tried to tell me it was the cashews...
Kendall, as in your case, it attacked him completely by surprise, although I guess perhaps the stress of having to make room for me in his house may have added to it. Has anyone heard that stress can be a factor? I think so, since his subsequent attacks (not nearly as bad) all seem to occur when visiting my family...
He's avoiding the nuts/popcorn thing but there have been a few attacks with no clear culprit. The mom of one of my band mates must avoid lettuce. Makes no sense and yet Spaw knows to avoid cabbage.
I think the trick is to stay in tune with your body and learn to recognize the very beginnings before the infection really sets in. Then diet is critical.
If humor can help, then this thread and so many others on mudcat surely will help. I'm laughing while sympathizing. Good thoughts to you all.
Emily B

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 09:18 AM

Hmmm, this could take a very interesting turn.

Spaw, you did it again! I don't hurt as much now, so, fire away.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 10:45 PM

Depends on which one, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 06:46 PM

I know, can you imagine, Sins? I feel for men, they run around with this thing flopping between their legs, it's so vulnerable, then they have to actually lie there while someone handles it, doing nasty things to it, but still handling, so they must sweat a bit hoping the thing doesn't decide to embarrass them by becoming aroused all on its own, and then the further indignities of "opening wide" and shoving a garden hose up there...geez! Might take more than a kiss to make it better, ya know?

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 06:29 PM

That Rick Fielding -- gentleman to the core!! :>)


A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 06:20 PM

Thank you Mary. It's the thought that counts.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 05:10 PM

What a nice offer Sins!!! I bet you wouldn't make the same one if one of us were having a colonoscopy..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 04:59 PM

MARY!! I'm shocked! err, suprised. Well, I guess it couldn't hurt! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 04:13 PM

The mother in me wants to offer to "kiss it and make it better" but...maybe not. Sorry guys. That has to be worse than a needle in the eye.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 03:37 PM

I remember hearing from one such old-timer that he had learned one important thing -- namely, you never really appreciate the kuxury of a good piss until you can't take one.

The best things in life are free, including peeing standing up, without pain.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 02:27 PM

I understand in UK a common expression of encouragement is "Keep your pecker up!" Well, good luck, lads!

Charley Noble, who's had the joy of watching his 98-year old father being recathotorized every month or so...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 07:37 AM

Rick, if I were you, I wouldn't be looking for humour in northern Ontario! What could possibly be funny up there?

Kaleea, I feel like I have had an early wake up call, and, should be able to live with it with a bit of diet modification,
You said you had inherited some of your dad's less desirable physical attributes? Maybe you should have been more specific, you can imagine what thought came to my mind! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Kaleea
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 12:48 AM

Kendall,
      Very sorry to hear about it! My dad has that trouble. Thank the Lord I don't, although I seem to have inherited many of his other physical attributes which I would not have chosen if I'd been asked. I take him to the VA hospital in our town for his medical needs, & while they are not quite up to tech standards of other hospitals/clinics, they have helped me to understand his needs, so I keep him supplied with easy to digest "mushy stuff" as he calls it, unlike his meals on wheels, which can be sort of scary to a person with "sensitive innards." He likes to keep apples & the salad in a bag stuff--he says it helps. I check his refrigerator, & try to keep him supplied with all the soft foods for when "it" acts up. I know he is quite pained with it, and all too often. I certainly hope that you will be doing very well, and soon! The pricey "natural" food stuff is ok & all that, but sometimes we have to be practical & have things which are convenient when we aren't able to do all the standing & chopping & combining our lentils & beans & such. Do the best you can, & keep your 'puter set on the mudcat cafe & let us know how you are.   Kaleea

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 11:15 PM

Hmmmmm, so the Maine word for penis is "Crank"? Well I'm hurtin' like hell and I can't think of one damn joke!

By the way, I've noticed that a great deal of Maine humour has a bear in it. I wonder if Northern Ontario humour is the same.

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 07:32 PM

Glad you are better, Kendall!

Rick....lottsa hugs, darlin'!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 07:25 PM

This reminds me of a joke, (what doesn't)
Seems there were two guys talking about pain.
One said the worst he ever had was being circumcised.
Another said a root canal.
Third said "Well, the second worst pain I ever had was one day,
I was out hunting and had to take a dump. I squatted down and my
crank set off a bear trap."
One guy says, "That was the SECOND worst pain"? what the hell was the number ONE worst pain"
He said,




"When I came to the end of the chain"

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 07:09 PM

Well,er.., man, as the Bishop said to the Actress. .. naw, that won't do...hmmmmm.

I'd like to say something encouraging, but all I can think of is "hang tough" and "stiff upper lip", neither of which seems especially, ummmm, appropriate.

We're looking forward to your rapid recovery, sir.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 06:39 PM

Poor guy. It's a great idea to establish a baseline though.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 05:52 PM

Ladies, are you sure you want to hang around this thread? It's pretty gruesome.....but you're kind gals all.

OH MAN, am I glad THAT'S over! Doctors Singh and Nam (I guess I can now say I've been to 'Nam) were wonderful, and as usual I was the most entertaining terrified patient on the planet.

I had to get up and INTO THE STIRRUPS!! Yes ladies, now I understand how invasive that is.

The TV screen was set up and while Dr. Nam was threading the (flexible) camera through my penis, I said "heh, heh, make sure you get my best side guys." Perhaps my gritted teeth gave me away a bit, but my fraudulent smile never wavered. It doesn't HURT per se....simply because there's nothing like it. It feels terribly WEIRD.

Hmmmmmmmm they said as they looked around, and truth to tell, these things ARE amazing.....sort of looks a bit like a combination of WILD KINGDOM and a close-up of an ENGLISH TRIFLE!

Soon he switched to the RIGID one (for x-ray pics) and that one DOES hurt! He found something which he'll get rid of next week....but I'll be under anesthetic thank goodness!

Long day.......thanks for startin' this kendall, and Catspaw thanks for all the comforting remarks!!

Arghhhhhh, the freezing's coming out!

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 05:04 PM

Damn yoy Spaw! I still hurt from vomiting, and that last post is killing me!

Morticia, it could have been much worse, the nurse could have been a man.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 04:44 PM

Kendall, I knew a guy who had problems with premature ejaculation and the Doctor gave him a creme to rub on his willy just before sex. I asked him if it worked and he said he came just rubbing it on.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Morticia
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 03:37 PM

oh man, a thread that has made me both wince and laugh....occasionally at the same time. Lots of hugs, Rick,though I spect it's all over now....let's hope it was good news.Kendall, my angel,I am so sorry for the pain and the indignity but thank god it wasn't anything worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 01:53 PM

LOL at Peg!!! Couldn't agree more on the Wonder bread!!! The white diet is safe and only used for a short period untim the bowel is less inflamed from the infection. I can't take it much myself and my Docs don't advise it totally either if you can easily do other options. I have a lot of neat recipes for healthy strained soups and casseroles you where you mix your pureed "mess" with mashed potato. And thank gowd for garlic!!!

For me, a good blender was and is a lifesaver. As you said there are lots of good and nutritious things to eat that simply need to be pureed. Where you have to watch are on the things that regardless of consistency are hard to digest and put the intestine which is supposed to resting to work. I'm a huge salad eater and a big fan of cabbage and it's relatives and I miss that stuff the most during that time bevause there is no way to make them easy on the sigmoid colon.

The other thing we had that helps a lot is a juicer. I don't use it much otherwise but during those times, it's my buddy. I have numerous very tiny flare-ups of DD because I push the envelope on foods a bit and I am ultra sensitive to the first thing that seems like pain so I have found that a quick change of diet to liquids and white for a brief time. It all depends on how lazy I am at the time as to whether I go really bland or really interesting.

I had not had an attack that required more than two or three days to pass before I could eat normally again for over a year until the dumbass episode with the brown rice which hit me from the blindside. Once you learn what you can't eat for sure it's easy to live with DD. My biggest fear is that one time or another corn will affect me as during corn season I am ravenous!!! So far so good as I have prayed to the great god Diverticulia who has answered my prayers so far.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 01:38 PM

Can we sign up just for the preps and skip the actual tube part?

Maybe "Catheta" was the nurse's name? Willa Catheta?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 01:35 PM

Considering I'm just going out the door Kendall......thanks! Hmmmmm....

"Catheta"

My gawd man you really are a Maine-liner. Here we pronounce it "Cathetrrr"....ahh, why am I tryin' to be funny, I'm scared shitless.....and I've had about ten of them this year.

Wish I were a drinkin' man.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: kendall
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 12:45 PM

Mild case? Holy s**t! if that was a mild case, I sure don't want a big one!

I'd never had a catheta before, so, didn't know what to expect. This young nurse came in and said she had to perform an unplesant procedure. Then, she grabs my crank and starts rubbing somthing creamy on it. I'm laying there thinking, "Unpleasant for her, maybe" then the pain, the pain!

That should cheer you up. Rick!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, the pain, the pain
From: Peg
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 12:09 PM

yes, spaw I did mean that!
However I have also read that the usual "presecription" diet of white bread and bland foods is not necessarily a good treatment even when the attack is on since this is the type of food that caused the condition in the first place...I think I read this in one of Lendon Smith's books recently (he is a bit of a pioneer in the food as medicine movement). I will look it up...
there are some less fibrous foods that are nevertheless more nutritious than Wonder bread. A simple vegetable broth made by cooking celery, carrots and potatoes (then tossing out the solids and drinking the broth) is excellent; full of vitamins and alkalizing nutrients.