SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.

Subject: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 06:17 AM

Tuesday evenings 8.30pm on at the Coach and Horses in upstairs room STARTING TOMORROW, TUESDAY 29th JULY indeed at the COACH AND HORSES. Same bollocks regarding membership applies and other disadvantage is flight of stairs to get beer (Not cheap, but not ridiculous - Tetleys £1.90/pt Guiness £2.30/pt). However, Oaklet will act as porter for all those with disabled qualifications. Nice upstairs room with emergency exit, used by Buffs or some such infidel org. on a Friday.
   The Coach and Horses was a little shit hole, but has slightly changed character with new manageress, although I cannot guarantee Oaklet style toilets. Now for directions:
   Entering Barton upon Humber down hill from Scunthorpe/A15(Bridge) direction, left at bottom mini roundabout, follow road round right, at next mini roundabout (facing one way street) turn right. Coach and Horses is on left opposite supermarket.
    Please make it if poss. Tomorrow TUESDAY and we'll have a great night like last Sloop session. It won't be quite as big 'cos Karen of the superb photos will be working at the baby factory.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 07:27 AM

Am I a member? Can't remember.....

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 07:40 AM

Sounds good. As I'm off back to Ireland next week for a month, I'll aim to be there.
D

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 09:25 AM

Splendid, Ayatollah, good work. Will be there.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 09:40 AM

i,might,go,if,I'm,not,doing,nowt.john

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 10:52 AM

Specifications for Oaklet: one more urinal than Sloop, one more washbowl, but just as grotty. WARNING - Talk of renovation. I suggest Oaklet has a word. Landlady/manageress (JO) is pleasant and about Oaklet's age so should get on well!
   Any person not a member whom we know (not biblically u understand) can of course be signed in as a visitor pending ratification (got an A in bulshit at O lev.).

                              A.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: ET
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 11:31 AM

Great News. Will try to get North Bankers there but will be Tuesday week owing to commitments at Sun Tuesday.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Strollin' Johnny
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:25 PM

Guys (and guyesses?),

Do I take it that your session's for members-only and guests known to members? If so, how then do you ever get anyone new there?

I've been to the Sloop three or four times a couple of years ago, but I doubt anyone there would claim (or even admit) they know me! I've a mind to attend but it's a long drive from Sin-City (Gainsborough) if, when I get there, you're going to tell me to bugger off!

Johnny

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:41 PM

No we all know you very well indeed Johnny so that will not be a problem

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 02:23 PM

No-one gets turned away at the Sloop session. If we don't know you we'll pretend we do!!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 07:11 PM

Have fun, all of you! And remember me to the bloke in the corner, Greg, please!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 05:24 AM

Will do, Susanne.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 05:56 AM

If any person not known to us brings an instrument and can satisfy me with a jig etc at the preliminary audition after prayers at 8.30pm, he/she is in. On second thoughts Jo may be a tad older than Oaklet, but that is probably OK 'cos I have it on good authority (divine even) that he absolutely has a preference for the older woman.

                              A

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Strollin' Johnny
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 07:16 AM

Smallpiper & KJ,
Thanks guys, I'm looking forward to coming over and banging out all the wrong chords soon! Not tonight though, no food in the house and I'm starving so Tesco's top of the list (can't live on my flab for ever!).
Best of luck in the new venue.
Johnny

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 29 Jul 03 - 07:29 AM

The Coach and Horses was the place where I aquired my first fungal infection.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 05:43 AM

Who's going to Goxhill tonight?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:25 AM

Rural Sex have confirmed

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 07:32 AM

The Incredible Pierced Polyorchid Bovine Trombone Quintet are hosting the session, but they are a bit mainstream for some. I have just fallen off the bus shelter.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 11:26 AM

Ooh, I like orchids...

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:22 PM

Just a note about the toilets in the Coach, no discerable smell but far too dark and the plywood around the pipe runs needs a top coat.

Anyone hear of the encounter between Rural's fiddler and the sporter of the weepy fresh tattoo wounds. Why did he emerge with a less comfortable trouser sometime later?

Was a different night, but I was a bit conscious of the photos staring staring down of ugly men, wearing regalia - particularly the falconry gloves.

And the landlady used to drive underground trains.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:33 PM

you,should,go,to,aSDA,[its,cheeper,than,tescos].john

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Strollin' Johnny
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:43 PM

But It'd cost me a fiver for petrol and a half hour drive each way from Gainsborough to the nearest Asda (Scunny)!! Could go to Morrisons but there's not much room in the aisles there and I get arsey when I can't get past the other happy(?) shoppers.
Nice try though.
JB

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 12:49 PM

oh.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 04:24 AM

Tesco's is crap.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:23 AM

Ever tried PROUDFOOT "tarrah", but to be practical. Should I continue looking or is this session venue satisfactory? Jo did say something about food when she gets organised, but (and it's a very big but) Oaklet is not entirely satisfied with the toilets.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:43 AM

I give the Coach and Horses toilets my seal of approval. I have put a sprout on the urinal cistern in the Sloop.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: ploughflyer
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 08:26 AM

A very satisfactory venue, Ayatolla, the assortment of horned gentlemen gazing down adding somewhat to the ambiance. Toilets acceptable for a quick visit.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 08:30 AM

Colin says he would prefer to stay in the room upstairs as the acoo-sticks are good & he doesn't fancy being eaten by the local inhabitants.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Bloke on the bench
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 11:51 AM

Yes to it all, it was a fine session, well attended, acoustics good and landlady welcoming. If all catters in the vicinity go regularly it should become an excellent venue. Toilets are better than the Sloop, without being luxurious. I understand there's talk of grub at some point.
With any luck we've got a new Barton session going. The Sloop lasted - how long? Five or six years? And we just turned up cos the Ayatollah didn't want to go all the way to Goxhill....

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 11:54 AM

we,could,get,some,of,them,pink,mats,and,bog,seat,covers9to,smarten.them,up9

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 06:56 PM

I liked the room too and I thought that that Colin (it was that Colin Thompson) Thompson's shirt was ace!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Noreen
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:18 PM

Toilets are better than the Sloop, without being luxurious. I understand there's talk of grub at some point.
Talk of grub in the toilets, Bloke?

Oaklet- I always think those little dollies that hide the spare toilet roll add a nice touch.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:48 PM

You can get them in Welsh costume. You are a class act, Sireen!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Bassic
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 08:13 PM

The carpet on the floor is good for me spike, less slippage. Acoustics...coustics....ostics...stics...tics.....ics.....cs.....s acceptabubble. Good picture of "Les from Hull" on the wall, (nice apron Les), and I liked playing for the Queen.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 05:11 AM

Yeah Bassic that is a great picture of Les .... wonder if he knows he has a twin posing as a member of the RAOB (or whatever) club?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 10:30 AM

Kung-Fu hampsters would just about round off the atmosphere nicely.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 10:33 AM

I am dreaming of Les in falconry gloves.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:57 AM

Remember, remember.... All local (and not so local Catters) TUESDAY EVENING SESSION At The Coach and Horses, Barton. Directions at start of thread.
    "I've just fallen off a bus shelter" causes me to guffaw every time I see it. I think I must need phsycologic help or some such.

                      Full name - Ayatolla Jaybee.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Bloke with the bunch
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:05 PM

Looking forward to tomorrow's session, hope all last week's friends can come again, with all others welcome.
BUT you simply MUST stop this surreal meandering on about toilets. Just go in , use them and leave. I blame you entirely for this Twiglet. You must be getting too much estuary air in South F. And DON'T ask me what you should use the toilet for!!
Harrumph
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:29 PM

Not all last weeks peeps will be there my siblings have returned to their respective homes but I'll be there

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 04 Aug 03 - 05:34 PM

I will be in that Ireland, so I hope you all enjoy the buffalo musk and the amateur tattoos of the knuckle-draggers downstairs.

Keep music live. And dangerous.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:37 AM

0845

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 01:46 AM

heloo, i dident go, becouse, i satayed at home and got pissed ibnstead, i might go nexty week, or i might but a bike,m [good thing is free for bikes on then umber bnridge], and can get pissed, asnd not to much hassle, [ cant ban you from ridinfg a bike [as for as i know, not sure really, i domnt think so anyway], dont think sso, i crashed a bike before [i hit a tree, near the cemetrey], ploliceman said said " you shouldent drinking so much then , stupid arseole", he dident ban me, just give me a big warning, [i threw my bike away at that time, bexause the whell went busted], anyway= i have got fat legs, i bought some shorts from the charity ship, but my legs are to fat, for them, i am thinking about a diet , i dont know really,
anyay, i went to sun on sunday, but I nEEEded a drink!, it was a nice singing, but i got that weird belly ache, when i need a drink, so i was a bit pissed off really!, people was saying " heloo john , how are you? etc", i said i'm ok , butb i wasent, i really neeeded a drink! so if i loooked a bit pissed off ,,then thats why.
anyway, since i been drinking looads, least my big soot fits now.john

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 01:50 AM

helo, my shorts was onlyb a quid, i thinkj i speeled suit wrong, but itb doesent matter, [this is misucv site, not spellimf site.john

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 01:54 AM

Siuit? Suite? suit?
is that how youe spell suit?
i'm not botherd really [ thgisa id music site, not spelling site].john

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 07:49 AM

URGENT! SOS! NEED HELP! ALL CATTERS! LOOSING 40 VIRGINS!
   
      Didn't make a dent in food provided last Tuesday. Need ravenous types next TUESDAY who have not eaten since Oaklet fell off the bus shelter.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 08:55 AM

How on earth do you misplace 40 virgins Ayatolla & what on earth were you going to do with them all? Are there 40 virgins in Barton?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 12:00 PM

I'm in Ireland, me.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: ploughflyer
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 01:09 PM

Apologies for absence Ayatolla, but will be there next Tuesday.
Can they do ham sandwiches without any butter or marge on them?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: KJ
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 01:16 PM

Bloody 'ell, even from Ireland he speaks!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 02:27 PM

Hello KY. From Ireland.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 01:53 AM

Lucky B*****d. I hope you are working hard, being all musical & not drinking or sniffing round the local female pipe bands!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:35 AM

The latest musival offering is "in the can" as they say in the biz. I am a bit bollocksed but reasonably happy with my input into "The Notes From The Stones". I have acquired a book about violin repair from the Caran guitarist. I am now going to the hardware shop to buy Araldite, a hammer and a pile of Baywatch videos on Betamax. Oh, and a hanky.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Willa
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:49 AM

Good grief! J9on in a suit and Oaklet with a hankie - what is the world coming to?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 06:17 AM

May I politely draw your attention to my final posting on the Beverley Fest Review thread. The citizens of Barton and Hessle are to be given a spectacular display at 8pm this evening.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 06:52 AM

tee hee!

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 09:24 PM

Tonight was a journey of discovery. Jo, the hostess of the mine, delivered a paper on the finer points of carping, using a prop of a reformed prisoner brutalising a ceolocanth. Dwane Bishop provided one with a plectrum made from the more elastic erectile tissue of a tortoise, and the Ayatollah toured the room in a fetching pinny proferring mechanically recovered meat in all manor of animal shapes. It was good. Keep food live. And dangerous.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:35 PM

Ah-ha, I see the change of venue has done nothing to alter the winning formula. If more pubs allowed sessions, then this sort of thing would be as commonplace elsewhere as it is in proper Barton. I have lost the body-building competition by a whisker. I must remember to shave more diligently.

Witten on behalf of Oaklet by 9scriptwriters as he is a bit preoccupied with stardom and maintaining a high media profile.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 06:01 AM

As Oaklet and co have returned from their hadj (fairly clocking up his awaiting virgins) should be an augmented session tonight. I have a plea vis: It is decreed by ET that I need a peaky hat if I am to act as doorstop. Of course such item will have to be worn by any deputy stepping in in my likely absences in the near future.I

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 05:32 AM

My last missive was enigmatic and cut short 'cos I was ejected from the library having exceeded my time. School kids should be back at school so's one can swim and surf without aggravation.
   My plea is for everyone to scour the charity shops/ car boot sales for a peak cap for the door stop person. ET says we must keep up the signing in bollocks until a) Jo (landlady) gets a PEL or b) the new law comes into force (approx 1 year). Otherwise Jo gets done for a £1000 fine.
   I shall not be with you for several weeks this Autumn (signing in books behind the bar) as I shall be searching for migrating Dick Dicks and Virgins (they don't exist in Barton). I shall journey as far as Wales, Cornwall, Norfolk and the Ukrain. For your information KJ the virgins are not for my misuse, but for me to dispense to young heroes like Oaklet and You-Know-Who (Suffice it to say that Bulk in the Corner didn't call him 'Skippy the BUSH Kangaroo' for nothing).

                            A.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:29 AM

Happy birfdy to me......

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Oaklet
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 07:35 AM

If you look at the February page of the 2004 calender given away with Amateur Drystone Waller magazine, you can see me with my kit off, bending over a pile of stones.

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 10:46 AM

NO NO NO way David !!!!!

Gerry

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 11:16 AM

Not even a kilt....?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 04:10 AM

Having just returned from a month in Ireland, just thought I'd check if the new venue proved suitable.Seems it has...does that mean it's on tonight then folks?

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 05:24 AM

yes it is indeed

Subject: RE: SLOOP session to Coach and Ho, Barton.
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 05:37 AM

Thanks smallpiper - I'll hope to catch up with you later then! Cheers - Dáithí